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Difference between revisions of "List of chalkboard gags"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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The following is a '''list of [[chalkboard gag]]s''' seen on '''[[The Simpsons]]'''.
+
The following is a '''list of [[chalkboard gag]]s''' seen on '''''[[The Simpsons]]'''''.
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 1)|Season 1]] ==
+
== [[Season 1]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #DEDDE2" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #DEDDE2" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #DEDDE2" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #DEDDE2" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
+
{{TBT|2}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Bart the Genius (Chalkboard gag).png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not waste chalk}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Bart the Genius]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7G02}}
 +
{{TBT|3}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Homer's Odyssey (Chalkboard gag).png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not skateboard in the halls}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homer's Odyssey]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7G03}}
 +
{{TBT|4}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:There's No Disgrace Like Home (Chalkboard gag).png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not burp in class}}
 +
{{TB|"[[There's No Disgrace Like Home]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7G04}}
 +
{{TBT|6}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGagS1E06.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not instigate revolution}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Moaning Lisa]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7G06}}
 +
{{TBT|7}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGagS1E07.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not draw naked ladies in class}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Call of the Simpsons]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7G09}}
 +
{{TBT|8}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGagS1E08.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I did not see Elvis}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Telltale Head]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7G07}}
 +
{{TBT|10}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGagS1E10.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homer's Night Out]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7G10}}
 +
{{TBT|11}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGagS1E11.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Garlic gum is not funny}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Crepes of Wrath]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7G13}}
 +
{{TBT|12}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Krusty Gets Busted (Chalkboard gag).png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|They are laughing at me, not with me}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Krusty Gets Busted]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7G12}}
 +
{{TBT|13}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Some Enchanted Evening (Chalkboard gag).png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Some Enchanted Evening]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7G01}}
 +
}}
  
−
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
+
== [[Season 2]] ==
−
|1 || December 17, [[1989]] || ''no gag'' || [[Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire]]
+
{{Table|
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
+
{{TH|#}}
−
|2 || January 14, [[1990]] ||I will not waste chalk || [[Bart the Genius]]
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
|3 || January 21, 1990 || I will not skateboard in the halls || [[Homer's Odyssey]]
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|4 || January 28, [[1990]] || I will not burp in class || [[There's No Disgrace Like Home]]
+
{{TRsT|14|2}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard gag (Bart Gets an "F").png|250px]]}}
−
|5 || February 4, 1990 || ''no gag - shortened opening'' || [[Bart the General]]
+
{{TB|I will not encourage others to fly}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
+
{{TRs|"[[Bart Gets an "F"]]"|2}}
−
|6 || February 11, [[1990]] || I will not instigate revolution || [[Moaning Lisa]]
+
{{TRs|7F03|2}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
+
{{TBT|[[File:I Will Not Fake My Way Through Life (Bart Gets an F).png|250px]]}}
−
|7 || February 18, [[1990]] || I will not draw naked ladies in class || [[Call of the Simpsons]]
+
{{TB|'''During the episode:'''<br>I will not fake my way through life}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
+
{{TBT|15}}
−
|8 || February 25, [[1990]] || I did not see Elvis || [[The Telltale Head]]
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F02.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
+
{{TB|Tar is not a plaything}}
−
|9 || March 18, [[1990]] || ''no gag'' || [[Life on the Fast Lane]]
+
{{TB|"[[Simpson and Delilah]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
+
{{TB|7F02}}
−
|10 || March 25, [[1990]] || I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" || [[Homer's Night Out]]
+
{{TRsT|17|2}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F01.png|250px]]}}
−
|11 || April 15, 1990 || Garlic gum is not funny || [[The Crepes of Wrath]]
+
{{TB|I will not Xerox my butt}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
+
{{TRs|"[[Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish]]"|2}}
−
|12 || April 29, 1990 || They are laughing at me, not with me || [[Krusty Gets Busted]]
+
{{TRs|7F01|2}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
+
{{TBT|[[File:No image.png|250px]]}}
−
|13 || May 13, [[1990]] || I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom  || [[Some Enchanted Evening]]
+
{{TB|'''Alternate chalkboard gag aired on June 2, 1992 rerun'''<br>It's 'potato', not 'potatoe'}}
−
|-
+
{{TBT|18}}
−
|}
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F05.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not trade pants with others}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Dancin' Homer]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F05}}
 +
{{TBT|19}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F08.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I am not a 32 year old woman}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Dead Putting Society]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F08}}
 +
{{TBT|20}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F07.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not do that thing with my tongue}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Bart vs. Thanksgiving]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F07}}
 +
{{TBT|21}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F06.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not drive the principal's car}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Bart the Daredevil]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F06}}
 +
{{TBT|22}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F09.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not pledge allegiance to Bart}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Itchy & Scratchy & Marge]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F09}}
 +
{{TBT|23}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F10.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not sell school property}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Bart Gets Hit by a Car]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F10}}
 +
{{TBT|24}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F11.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not cut corners<br>''(This is written for 3 lines. The remaining lines are all "ditto" quotation marks.)''}}
 +
{{TB|"[[One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F11}}
 +
{{TBT|25}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F12.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not get very far with this attitude}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Way We Was]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F12}}
 +
{{TBT|26}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F13.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not make flatulent noises in class}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F13}}
 +
{{TBT|27}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F15.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not belch the national anthem}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Principal Charming]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F15}}
 +
{{TBT|28}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F16.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not sell land in [[Florida]]}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F16}}
 +
{{TBT|29}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F14.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not sell school property}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Bart's Dog Gets an "F"]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F14}}
 +
{{TBT|30}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F17.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not grease the monkey bars}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Old Money]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F17}}
 +
{{TBT|31}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F18.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Brush with Greatness]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F18}}
 +
{{TBT|33}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F20.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not do anything bad ever again}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The War of the Simpsons]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F20}}
 +
{{TBT|34}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F21.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not show off<br>''(This was written in Blackletter.)''}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Three Men and a Comic Book]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F21}}
 +
{{TBT|35}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F22.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not sleep through my education}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Blood Feud]]"}}
 +
{{TB|7F22}}
 +
}}
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 2)|Season 2]] ==
+
== [[Season 3]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #C5E4E1" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #C5E4E1" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #C5E4E1" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #C5E4E1" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
+
{{TBT|36}}
−
|14 || October 11, [[1990]] || I will not encourage others to fly ''(And during the episode:'' I will not fake my way through life'')'' ||[[Bart Gets an F]]
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F24.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|I am not a dentist}}
−
|15 || October 18, [[1990]] || Tar is not a plaything || [[Simpson and Delilah]]
+
{{TB|"[[Stark Raving Dad]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
+
{{TB|7F24}}
−
|16 || October 25, [[1990]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror]]
+
{{TBT|37}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F01.png|250px]]}}
−
|17 || November 1, 1990 || I will not Xerox my butt (''Alternate chalkboard gag aired on June 2], [[1992]] rerun'' - "It's 'potato', not 'potatoe'") || [[Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish]]
+
{{TB|Spitwads are not free speech}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
+
{{TB|"[[Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington]]"}}
−
|18 || November 8, [[1990]] || I will not trade pants with others || [[Dancin' Homer]]
+
{{TB|8F01}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|38}}
−
|19 || November 15, [[1990]] || I am not a 32 year old woman ''(though at the time, the voice of Bart, [[Nancy Cartwright]], was) || [[Dead Putting Society]]
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag7F23.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
+
{{TB|Nobody likes sunburn slappers}}
−
|20 || November 22, [[1990]] || I will not do that thing with my tongue || [[Bart vs. Thanksgiving]]
+
{{TB|"[[When Flanders Failed]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|7F23}}
−
|21 || December 6, [[1990]] || I will not drive the principal's car (similar chalkboard gag in ''The Months'', with the principal being replaced by December) || [[Bart the Daredevil]]
+
{{TRsT|39|2}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F03.png|250px]]}}
−
|22 || December 20, [[1990]] || I will not pledge allegiance to Bart || [[Itchy & Scratchy & Marge]]
+
{{TB|High explosives and school don't mix}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TRs|"[[Bart the Murderer]]"|2}}
−
|23 || January 10, [[1991]] || I will not sell school property || [[Bart Gets Hit by a Car]]
+
{{TRs|8F03|2}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
+
{{TBT|[[File:Chalkboard Bart the Murderer in-episode.png|250px]]}}
−
|24 || January 24, [[1991]] || I will not cut corners ''(This is written for 3 lines. The remaining lines are all "ditto" quotation marks.)'' || [[One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish]]
+
{{TB|'''During the episode:'''<br>I will not bribe [[Principal Skinner]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|40}}
−
|25 || January 31, [[1991]] || I will not get very far with this attitude ||[[The Way We Was]]
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F04.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
+
{{TB|I will not squeak chalk<br>''(Bart makes the chalk squeak as he writes this.)''}}
−
|26 || February 7, [[1991]] || I will not make flatulent noises in class || [[Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment]]
+
{{TB|"[[Homer Defined]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|8F04}}
−
|27 || February 14, [[1991]] || I will not belch the national anthem || [[Principal Charming]]
+
{{TBT|41}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F05.png|250px]]}}
−
|28 || [[February 21]], [[1991]] || I will not sell land in [[Florida]] || [[Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?]]
+
{{TB|I will finish what I sta<br>''(written only once)''}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|"[[Like Father, Like Clown]]"}}
−
|29 || March 7, [[1991]] || I will not sell school property || [[Bart's Dog Gets an F]]
+
{{TB|8F05}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
+
{{TBT|43}}
−
|30 || March 28, [[1991]] || I will not grease the monkey bars ||[[Old Money]]
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F02.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender}}
−
|31 || April 11, 1991 || I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment || [[Brush with Greatness]]
+
{{TB|"[[Lisa's Pony]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
+
{{TB|8F06}}
−
|32 || April 25, [[1991]] || ''no gag'' || [[Lisa's Substitute]]
+
{{TBT|44}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F06.png|250px]]}}
−
|33 || May 2, [[1991]] || I will not do anything bad ever again || [[The War of the Simpsons]]
+
{{TB|I will not fake rabies}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
+
{{TB|"[[Saturdays of Thunder]]"}}
−
|34 || May 9, [[1991]] || I will not show off ''(This was written in Blackletter.)'' || [[Three Men and a Comic Book]]
+
{{TB|8F07}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|45}}
−
|35 || July 11, [[1991]] || I will not sleep through my education || [[Blood Feud]]
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F07.png|250px]]}}
−
|-
+
{{TB|Underwear should be worn on the inside}}
−
|}
+
{{TB|"[[Flaming Moe's]]"}}
 +
{{TB|8F08}}
 +
{{TBT|46}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F08.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|The [[Christmas]] Pageant does not stink}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk]]"}}
 +
{{TB|8F09}}
 +
{{TBT|47}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F09.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not torment the emotionally frail}}
 +
{{TB|"[[I Married Marge]]"}}
 +
{{TB|8F10}}
 +
{{TBT|48}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F11.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not carve gods}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Radio Bart]]"}}
 +
{{TB|8F11}}
 +
{{TBT|50}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F14.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not spank others}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homer Alone]]"}}
 +
{{TB|8F14}}
 +
{{TBT|52}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F13.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not aim for the head}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homer at the Bat]]"}}
 +
{{TB|8F13}}
 +
{{TRsT|53|2}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F15.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not barf unless I'm sick}}
 +
{{TRs|"[[Separate Vocations]]"|2}}
 +
{{TRs|8F15|2}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:Separate Vocations episode gag.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''During the episode:'''<br>I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty}}
 +
{{TBT|54}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F17.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Dog of Death]]"}}
 +
{{TB|8F17}}
 +
{{TBT|55}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F19.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not conduct my own fire drills}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Colonel Homer]]"}}
 +
{{TB|8F19}}
 +
{{TBT|56}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F20.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Funny noises are not funny}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Black Widower]]"}}
 +
{{TB|8F20}}
 +
{{TBT|57}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F21.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not spin the turtle}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Otto Show]]"}}
 +
{{TB|8F21}}
 +
{{TBT|58}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F122.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not snap bras}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Bart's Friend Falls in Love]]"}}
 +
{{TB|8F22}}
 +
{{TBT|59}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F23.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not fake seizures}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?]]"}}
 +
{{TB|8F23}}
 +
}}
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 3)|Season 3]] ==
+
== [[Season 4]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #E2C7DD" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #E2C7DD" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #E2C7DD" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #E2C7DD" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
+
{{TBT|60}}
−
|36 || [[September 19]], [[1991]] || I am not a [[dentist]] || [[Stark Raving Dad]]
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F24.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|This punishment is not boring and pointless}}
−
|37 || [[September 26]], [[1991]] || Spitwads are not [[free speech]] || [[Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington]]
+
{{TB|"[[Kamp Krusty]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
+
{{TB|8F24}}
−
|38 || [[October 3]], [[1991]] || Nobody likes [[sunburn]] slappers || [[When Flanders Failed]]
+
{{TBT|61}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag8F18.png|250px]]}}
−
|39 || [[October 10]], [[1991]] || High explosives and school don't mix ''(And during the episode:'' I will not bribe Principal Skinner'')'' || [[Bart the Murderer]]
+
{{TB|My name is not "Dr. Death"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
+
{{TB|"[[A Streetcar Named Marge]]"}}
−
|40 || [[October 17]], [[1991]] || I will not squeak [[chalk]] ''(Bart makes the chalk squeak as he writes this.)'' || [[Homer Defined]]
+
{{TB|8F18}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|62}}
−
|41 || [[October 24]], [[1991]] || I will finish what I sta ''(written only once)'' || [[Like Father, Like Clown]]
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F01.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
+
{{TB|I will not defame New Orleans
−
|42 || [[October 31]], [[1991]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror II]]
+
''(Done as a response to "[[A Streetcar Named Marge]]", which created controversy in New Orleans from [[Oh, Streetcar!#Long Before the Superdome|a song in said episode]])''}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|"[[Homer the Heretic]]"}}
−
|43 || [[November 7]], [[1991]] || "Bart Bucks" are not [[legal tender]] || [[Lisa's Pony]]
+
{{TB|9F01}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
+
{{TBT|63}}
−
|44 || [[November 14]], [[1991]] || I will not fake [[rabies]] || [[Saturdays of Thunder]]
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F02.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|I will not prescribe medication}}
−
|45 || [[November 21]], [[1991]] || Underwear should be worn on the inside || [[Flaming Moe's]]
+
{{TB|"[[Lisa the Beauty Queen]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
+
{{TB|9F02}}
−
|46 || [[December 5]], [[1991]] || The Christmas Pageant does not stink || [[Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk]]
+
{{TRsT|65|2}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F03.png|250px]]}}
−
|47 || [[December 26]], [[1991]] || I will not torment the emotionally frail || [[I Married Marge]]
+
{{TB|I will not bury the new kid}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
+
{{TRs|"[[Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie]]"|2}}
−
|48 || [[January 9]], [[1992]] || I will not carve [[Deity|gods]] || [[Radio Bart]]
+
{{TRs|9F03|2}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|[[File:MargeBlackboard.png|250px]]}}
−
|49 || [[January 23]], [[1992]] || ''no gag'' || [[Lisa the Greek]]
+
{{TB|'''During the episode, [[Marge]] writes:'''<br>I will try to raise a better child}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
+
{{TBT|66}}
−
|50 || [[February 6]], [[1992]] || I will not spank others || [[Homer Alone]]
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F05.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|I will not teach others to fly}}
−
|51 || [[February 13]], [[1992]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart the Lover]]
+
{{TB|"[[Marge Gets a Job]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
+
{{TB|9F05}}
−
|52 || [[February 20]], [[1992]] || I will not [[beanball|aim for the head]] ''(In this episode, a major character was [[hit by pitch|hit in the head by a pitch]] during a baseball game.)'' || [[Homer at the Bat]]
+
{{TBT|67}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F06.png|250px]]}}
−
|53 || [[February 27]], [[1992]] || I will not [[Vomiting|barf]] unless I'm sick ''(And during the episode:'' I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty'')'' || [[Separate Vocations]]
+
{{TB|I will not bring sheep to class}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
+
{{TB|"[[New Kid on the Block]]"}}
−
|54 || [[March 12]], [[1992]] || I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge || [[Dog of Death]]
+
{{TB|9F06}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|68}}
−
|55 || [[March 26]], [[1992]] || I will not conduct my own [[fire drill]]s || [[Colonel Homer]]
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F07.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
+
{{TB|A burp is not an answer}}
−
|56 || [[April 9]], [[1992]] || Funny noises are not funny || [[Black Widower]]
+
{{TB|"[[Mr. Plow]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|9F07}}
−
|57 || [[April 23]], [[1992]] || I will not spin the [[turtle]] || [[The Otto Show]]
+
{{TBT|69}}
−
|- style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F08.png|250px]]}}
−
|58 || [[May 7]], [[1992]] || I will not snap [[Brassiere|bras]] || [[Bart's Friend Falls in Love]]
+
{{TB|Teacher is not a leper}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|"[[Lisa's First Word]]"}}
−
|59 || [[August 27]], [[1992]] || I will not fake [[seizure]]s || [[Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?]]
+
{{TB|9F08}}
−
|-
+
{{TBT|70}}
−
|}
+
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F09.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Coffee is not for kids<br>''(Each line becomes less legible and more scrawled)''}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homer's Triple Bypass]]"}}
 +
{{TB|9F09}}
 +
{{TBT|71}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F10.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not eat things for money}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Marge vs. the Monorail]]"}}
 +
{{TB|9F10}}
 +
{{TBT|72}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F11.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Selma's Choice]]"}}
 +
{{TB|9F11}}
 +
{{TBT|73}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F12.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|The principal's toupée is not a frisbee}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Brother from the Same Planet]]"}}
 +
{{TB|9F12}}
 +
{{TBT|74}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F13.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not call the principal "spud head"}}
 +
{{TB|"[[I Love Lisa]]"}}
 +
{{TB|9F13}}
 +
{{TBT|75}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F14.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Goldfish don't bounce}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Duffless]]"}}
 +
{{TB|9F14}}
 +
{{TBT|76}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F15.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Mud is not one of the 4 food groups}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Last Exit to Springfield]]"}}
 +
{{TB|9F15}}
 +
{{TBT|77}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F17.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|No one is interested in my underpants}}
 +
{{TB|"[[So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show]]"}}
 +
{{TB|9F17}}
 +
{{TBT|78}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F16.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not sell miracle cures}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Front]]"}}
 +
{{TB|9F16}}
 +
{{TBT|79}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F18.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will return the seeing-eye dog}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Whacking Day]]"}}
 +
{{TB|9F18}}
 +
{{TBT|80}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F20.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I do not have diplomatic immunity}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Marge in Chains]]"}}
 +
{{TB|9F20}}
 +
{{TBT|81}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ChalkboardGag9F19.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not charge admission to the bathroom}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Krusty Gets Kancelled]]"}}
 +
{{TB|9F19}}
 +
}}
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 4)|Season 4]] ==
+
== [[Season 5]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #85CAFF" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #85CAFF" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #85CAFF" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #85CAFF" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
+
{{TBT|82}}
−
|60 || [[September 24]], [[1992]] || This punishment is not boring and pointless || [[Kamp Krusty]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Homer's Barbershop Quartet - chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|I will never win an [[Emmy Award|Emmy]]}}
−
|61 || [[October 01]], [[1992]] || My name is not "[[Jack Kevorkian|Dr. Death]]" || [[A Streetcar Named Marge]]
+
{{TB|"[[Homer's Barbershop Quartet]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
+
{{TB|9F21}}
−
|62 || [[October 08]], [[1992]] || I will not defame [[New Orleans]] ''(This was due to complaints regarding the [[A Streetcar Named Marge|previous episode]]'s song about New Orleans.)'' || [[Homer the Heretic]]
+
{{TBT|83}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:Cape Feare - chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|63 || [[October 15]], [[1992]] || I will not [[prescribe]] [[medication]] || [[Lisa the Beauty Queen]]
+
{{TB|The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy}}
−
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
+
{{TB|"[[Cape Feare]]"}}
−
|64 || [[October 29]], [[1992]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror III]]
+
{{TB|9F22}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|90}}
−
|65 || [[November 03]], [[1992]] || I will not bury the new kid ''(During the episode, Marge writes "I will try to raise a better child.")'' || [[Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie]]
+
{{TB|[[File:The Last Temptation of Homer - chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
+
{{TB|All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy}}
−
|66 || [[November 05]], [[1992]] || I will not teach others to fly || [[Marge Gets a Job]]
+
{{TB|"[[The Last Temptation of Homer]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|1F07}}
−
|67 || [[November 12]], [[1992]] || I will not bring [[sheep]] to class || [[New Kid on the Block]]
+
{{TBT|91}}
−
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling) - chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|68 || [[November 19]], [[1992]] || A burp is not an answer || [[Mr. Plow]]
+
{{TB|I will not say "[[Springfield]]" just to get applause}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|"[[$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)]]"}}
−
|69 || [[December 03]], [[1992]] || Teacher is not a [[leprosy|leper]] || [[Lisa's First Word]]
+
{{TB|1F08}}
−
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
+
{{TBT|92}}
−
|70 || [[December 17]], [[1992]] || [[Coffee]] is not for kids ''(Each line becomes less legible and more scrawled.)'' || [[Homer's Triple Bypass]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Homer the Vigilante - chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers}}
−
|71 || [[January 14]], [[1993]] || I will not eat things for money || [[Marge vs. the Monorail]]
+
{{TB|"[[Homer the Vigilante]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
+
{{TB|1F09}}
−
|72 || [[January 21]], [[1993]] || I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call || [[Selma's Choice]]
+
{{TBT|93}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:Bart Gets Famous - chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|73 || [[February 04]], [[1993]] || The [[Seymour Skinner|principal]]'s [[toupee|toupée]] is not a [[frisbee]] || [[Brother from the Same Planet]]
+
{{TB|My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man}}
−
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
+
{{TB|"[[Bart Gets Famous]]"}}
−
|74 || [[February 11]], [[1993]] || I will not call the principal "spud head" || [[I Love Lisa]]
+
{{TB|1F11}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|94}}
−
|75 || [[February 18]], [[1993]] || [[Goldfish]] don't bounce || [[Duffless]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Homer and Apu - chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
+
{{TB|I will not go near the kindergarten turtle}}
−
|76 || [[March 11]], [[1993]] || Mud is not one of the 4 [[Food guide pyramid|food groups]] || [[Last Exit to Springfield]]
+
{{TB|"[[Homer and Apu]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|1F10}}
−
|77 || [[April 01]], [[1993]] || No one is interested in my [[underpants]] || [[So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show]]
+
{{TBT|97}}
−
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:Homer Loves Flanders - chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|78 || [[April 15]], [[1993]] || I will not sell [[patent medicine|miracle cures]] || [[The Front (The Simpsons)|The Front]]
+
{{TB|I am not delightfully saucy}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|"[[Homer Loves Flanders]]"}}
−
|79 || [[April 29]], [[1993]] || I will return the [[Guide dog|seeing-eye dog]] || [[Whacking Day]]
+
{{TB|1F14}}
−
|- style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
+
{{TBT|98}}
−
|80 || [[May 06]], [[1993]] || I do not have [[diplomatic immunity]] || [[Marge in Chains]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Bart Gets an Elephant - chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|Organ transplants are best left to the professionals}}
−
|81 || [[May 13]], [[1993]] || I will not charge admission to the bathroom || [[Krusty Gets Kancelled]]
+
{{TB|"[[Bart Gets an Elephant]]"}}
−
|-
+
{{TB|1F15}}
−
|}
+
{{TBT|99}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Burns' Heir - chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail [[Satan]]"}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Burns' Heir]]"}}
 +
{{TB|1F16}}
 +
{{TBT|100}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song - chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
 +
''(This was the 100th episode aired.)''}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song]]"}}
 +
{{TB|1F18}}
 +
{{TBT|101}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:The Boy Who Knew Too Much - chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|There are plenty of businesses like show business}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Boy Who Knew Too Much]]"}}
 +
{{TB|1F19}}
 +
{{TBT|102}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Lady Bouvier's Lover - chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Lady Bouvier's Lover]]"}}
 +
{{TB|1F21}}
 +
{{TBT|103}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Secrets of a Successful Marriage - chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Five days is not too long to wait for a gun}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Secrets of a Successful Marriage]]"}}
 +
{{TB|1F20}}
 +
}}
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 5)|Season 5]] ==
+
== [[Season 6]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #FD9D83" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #FD9D83" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #FD9D83" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #FD9D83" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
+
{{TBT|104}}
−
|82 || [[September 30]], [[1993]] || I will never win an [[Emmy Award|Emmy]] (''Nine Emmy awards had been won by the show and cast by show's date'') || [[Homer's Barbershop Quartet]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard104.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|Beans are neither a fruit nor musical}}
−
|83 || [[October 07]], [[1993]] || The cafeteria [[deep frying|deep fryer]] is not a toy || [[Cape Feare]]
+
{{TB|"[[Bart of Darkness]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
+
{{TB|1F22}}
−
|84 || [[October 14]], [[1993]] || ''no gag'' || [[Homer Goes to College]]
+
{{TBT|105}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard105.png|250px]]}}
−
|85 || [[October 21]], [[1993]] || ''no gag'' || [[Rosebud (The Simpsons)|Rosebud]]
+
{{TB|No one is interested in my underpants}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
+
{{TB|"[[Lisa's Rival]]"}}
−
|86 || [[October 28]], [[1993]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror IV]]
+
{{TB|1F17}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|106}}
−
|87 || [[November 04]], [[1993]] || ''no gag'' || [[Marge on the Lam]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard106.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
+
{{TB|I will not use abbrev.}}
−
|88 || [[November 11]], [[1993]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart's Inner Child]]
+
{{TB|"[[Another Simpsons Clip Show]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|2F33}}
−
|89 || [[November 18]], [[1993]] || ''no gag'' || [[Boy-Scoutz N the Hood]]
+
{{TBT|107}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard107.png|250px]]}}
−
|90 || [[December 09]], [[1993]] || [[All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy|All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy]] || [[The Last Temptation of Homer]]
+
{{TB|I am not the reincarnation of [[Sammy Davis, Jr.]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|"[[Itchy & Scratchy Land]]"}}
−
|91 || [[December 16]], [[1993]] || I will not say "[[Springfield (The Simpsons)|Springfield]]" just to get applause || [[$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)]]
+
{{TB|2F01}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
+
{{TBT|110}}
−
|92 || [[January 06]], [[1994]] || I am not authorized to fire [[substitute teacher]]s || [[Homer the Vigilante]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard110.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|I will not send lard through the mail}}
−
|93 || [[February 03]], [[1994]] || My homework was not stolen by [[The Fugitive (1993 film)|a one-armed man]] || [[Bart Gets Famous]]
+
{{TB|"[[Bart's Girlfriend]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
+
{{TB|2F04}}
−
|94 || [[February 10]], [[1994]] || I will not go near the [[kindergarten]] turtle || [[Homer and Apu]]
+
{{TBT|111}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard111.png|250px]]}}
−
|95 || [[February 17]], [[1994]] || ''no gag'' || [[Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy]]
+
{{TB|I will not dissect things unless instructed}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
+
{{TB|"[[Lisa on Ice]]"}}
−
|96 || [[February 24]], [[1994]] || ''no gag'' || [[Deep Space Homer]]
+
{{TB|2F05}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|112}}
−
|97 || [[March 17]], [[1994]] || I am not delightfully saucy || [[Homer Loves Flanders]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard112.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
+
{{TB|I will not whittle hall passes out of soap}}
−
|98 || [[March 31]], [[1994]] || [[Organ transplant]]s are best left to the professionals || [[Bart Gets an Elephant]]
+
{{TB|"[[Homer Badman]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|2F06}}
−
|99 || [[April 14]], [[1994]] || The [[Pledge of Allegiance]] does not end with "Hail [[Satan]]" || [[Burns' Heir]]
+
{{TBT|113}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard113.png|250px]]}}
−
|100 || [[April 28]], [[1994]] || I will not celebrate meaningless [[milestone]]s ''([[Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song|100th episode]])'' || [[Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song]]
+
{{TB|My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|"[[Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy]]"}}
−
|101 || [[May 05]], [[1994]] || There are plenty of businesses like [[There's No Business Like Show Business (song)|show business]] || [[The Boy Who Knew Too Much]]
+
{{TB|2F07}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
+
{{TBT|114}}
−
|102 || [[May 12]], [[1994]] || I will not re-transmit without the express permission of [[Major League Baseball]] || [[Lady Bouvier's Lover]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard114.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[Ralph]] won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough}}
−
|103 || [[May 19]], [[1994]] || Five days is not too long to [[Gun politics in the United States#Gun control laws|wait for a gun]] || [[Secrets of a Successful Marriage]]
+
{{TB|"[[Fear of Flying]]"}}
−
|}
+
{{TB|2F08}}
 +
{{TBT|115}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard115.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homer the Great]]"}}
 +
{{TB|2F09}}
 +
{{TBT|116}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard116.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'Bagman' is not a legitimate career choice}}
 +
{{TB|"[[And Maggie Makes Three]]"}}
 +
{{TB|2F10}}
 +
{{TBT|117}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard117.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Bart's Comet]]"}}
 +
{{TB|2F11}}
 +
{{TBT|118}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard118.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Next time it could be me on the scaffolding}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homie the Clown]]"}}
 +
{{TB|2F12}}
 +
{{TBT|119}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Bart vs. Australia chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not hang [[donuts]] on my person}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Bart vs. Australia]]"}}
 +
{{TB|2F13}}
 +
{{TBT|120}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard120.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will remember to take my medication}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homer vs. Patty and Selma]]"}}
 +
{{TB|2F14}}
 +
{{TBT|122}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard122.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not strut around like I own the place}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Lisa's Wedding]]"}}
 +
{{TB|2F15}}
 +
{{TBT|123}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:2F18 chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Two Dozen and One Greyhounds]]"}}
 +
{{TB|2F18}}
 +
{{TBT|124}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard124.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I do not have power of attorney over first graders}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The PTA Disbands]]"}}
 +
{{TB|2F19}}
 +
{{TBT|125}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard125.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Nerve gas is not a toy}}
 +
{{TB|"[['Round Springfield]]"}}
 +
{{TB|2F32}}
 +
{{TBT|126}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard126.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Springfield Connection]]"}}
 +
{{TB|2F21}}
 +
{{TBT|127}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard127.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|The First Amendment does not cover burping}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Lemon of Troy]]"}}
 +
{{TB|2F22}}
 +
{{TBT|128}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard128.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|This is not a clue... or is it?}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)]]"}}
 +
{{TB|2F16}}
 +
}}
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 6)|Season 6]] ==
+
== [[Season 7]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #BCBCBC" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #BCBCBC" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #BCBCBC" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #BCBCBC" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
+
{{TBT|129}}
−
|104 || [[September 04]], [[1994]] || Beans are neither [[Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit|a fruit nor musical]] (This takes us back to "Whacking Day") || [[Bart of Darkness]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard129.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|I will not complain about the solution when I hear it}}
−
|105 || [[September 11]], [[1994]] || No one is interested in my [[underpants]] || [[Lisa's Rival]]
+
{{TB|"[[Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
+
{{TB|2F20}}
−
|106 || [[September 25]], [[1994]] || I will not use [[abbreviation|abbrev.]] || [[Another Simpsons Clip Show]]
+
{{TBT|130}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard130.png|250px]]}}
−
|107 || [[October 02]], [[1994]] || I am not the [[reincarnation]] of [[Sammy Davis, Jr.|Sammy Davis Jr.]] || [[Itchy & Scratchy Land]]
+
{{TB|"[[Bewitched]]" does not promote Satanism}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
+
{{TB|"[[Radioactive Man]]"}}
−
|108 || [[October 09]], [[1994]] || ''no gag'' || [[Sideshow Bob Roberts]]
+
{{TB|2F17}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|131}}
−
|109 || [[October 30]], [[1994]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror V]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard131.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
+
{{TB|No one wants to hear from my armpits}}
−
|110 || [[November 06]], [[1994]] || I will not send [[lard]] through the mail || [[Bart's Girlfriend]]
+
{{TB|"[[Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|3F01}}
−
|111 || [[November 13]], [[1994]] || I will not [[dissection|dissect]] things unless instructed || [[Lisa on Ice]]
+
{{TBT|132}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard132.png|250px]]}}
−
|112 || [[November 27]], [[1994]] || I will not [[whittling|whittle]] hall passes out of soap || [[Homer Badman]]
+
{{TB|I am not a lean mean spitting machine}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|"[[Bart Sells His Soul]]"}}
−
|113 || [[December 04]], [[1994]] || My homework was not stolen by a [[The Fugitive (1993 film)|one-armed man]] ''(this is from 1F11)'' || [[Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy]]
+
{{TB|3F02}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
+
{{TBT|133}}
−
|114 || [[December 18]], [[1994]] || [[Ralph Wiggum|Ralph]] won't "[[morphing|morph]]" if you squeeze him hard enough || [[Fear of Flying (The Simpsons)|Fear of Flying]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard133.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|The boys' room is not a water park}}
−
|115 || [[January 08]], [[1995]] || Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the [[Principal (school)|principal]] || [[Homer the Great]]
+
{{TB|"[[Lisa the Vegetarian]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
+
{{TB|3F03}}
−
|116 || [[January 22]], [[1995]] || 'Bagman' is not a legitimate [[career]] choice || [[And Maggie Makes Three]]
+
{{TBT|135}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard135.png|250px]]}}
−
|117 || [[February 05]], [[1995]] || [[Cursive|Cursive writing]] does not mean what I [[profanity|think it does]] || [[Bart's Comet]]
+
{{TB|Indian burns are not our cultural heritage}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
+
{{TB|"[[King-Size Homer]]"}}
−
|118 || [[February 12]], [[1995]] || Next time it could be me on the [[scaffolding]] || [[Homie the Clown]]
+
{{TB|3F05}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|137}}
−
|119 || [[February 19]], [[1995]] || I will not hang [[donuts]] on my person || [[Bart vs. Australia]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard137.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
+
{{TB|Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things}}
−
|120 || [[February 26]], [[1995]] || I will remember to take my [[medication]] || [[Homer vs. Patty & Selma]]
+
{{TB|"[[Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|3F08}}
−
|121 || [[March 05]], [[1995]] || ''no gag'' || [[A Star Is Burns]]
+
{{TBT|138}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard138.png|250px]]}}
−
|122 || [[March 19]], [[1995]] || I will not strut around like I own the place || [[Lisa's Wedding]]
+
{{TB|I will only do this once a year<br>''(by "this", it means a clip show)''}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|"[[The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular]]"}}
−
|123 || [[April 09]], [[1995]] || The [[Good Humor]] man can only be pushed so far || [[Two Dozen and One Greyhounds]]
+
{{TB|3F31}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
+
{{TBT|139}}
−
|124 || [[April 16]], [[1995]] || I do not have [[power of attorney]] over [[first grade]]rs || [[The PTA Disbands]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard139.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist}}
−
|125 || [[April 30]], [[1995]] || [[Nerve agent|Nerve gas]] is not a toy || [['Round Springfield]]
+
{{TB|"[[Marge Be Not Proud]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
+
{{TB|3F07}}
−
|126 || [[May 07]], [[1995]] || I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface || [[The Springfield Connection]]
+
{{TBT|140}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard140.png|250px]]}}
−
|127 || [[May 14]], [[1995]] || The [[First Amendment to the United States Constitution|First Amendment]] does not cover burping || [[Lemon of Troy]]
+
{{TB|I am not certified to remove asbestos}}
−
|- style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
+
{{TB|"[[Team Homer]]"}}
−
|128 || [[May 21]], [[1995]] || This is not a clue... or is it? ''(part 1 of "[[Who Shot Mr. Burns?]]")'' || [[Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)]]
+
{{TB|3F10}}
−
|-
+
}}
−
|}
 
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 7)|Season 7]] ==
+
== [[Season 8]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #9B98D8" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Thumbnail}}
−
! style="background-color: #9B98D8" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #9B98D8" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #9B98D8" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
+
{{TBT|155}}
−
| 129 || [[September 17]], [[1995]] || I will not complain about the solution when I hear it ''(part 2 of "[[Who Shot Mr. Burns?]]")'' || [[Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)]]
+
{{TB|[[File:You Only Move Twice Blackboard Gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|I did not learn everything I need to know from kindergarten}}
−
| 130 || [[September 24]], [[1995]] || "[[Bewitched]]" does not promote [[Satanism]] || [[Radioactive Man (The Simpsons episode)|Radioactive Man]]
+
{{TB|"[[You Only Move Twice]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
+
{{TB|3F23}}
−
| 131 || [[October 01]], [[1995]] || No one wants to hear from my armpits || [[Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily]]
+
{{TBT|156}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard156.png|250px]]}}
−
| 132 || [[October 08]], [[1995]] || I am not a lean mean [[spit]]ting machine || [[Bart Sells His Soul]]
+
{{TB|I am not my [[Hugo Simpson|long-lost twin]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
+
{{TB|"[[The Homer They Fall]]"}}
−
| 133 || [[October 15]], [[1995]] || The [[bathroom|boys' room]] is not a water park || [[Lisa the Vegetarian]]
+
{{TB|4F03}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|160}}
−
| 134 || [[October 29]], [[1995]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror VI]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard160.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
+
{{TB|'''During the episode, [[Lisa]] writes:''' I will not be a snickerpuss.}}
−
| 135 || [[November 05]], [[1995]] || [[List of school pranks#Indian burn|Indian burns]] are not our cultural heritage || [[King-Size Homer]]
+
{{TB|"[[Lisa's Date with Density]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|4F01}}
−
| 136 || [[November 19]], [[1995]] || ''no gag'' || [[Mother Simpson]]
+
{{TBT|163}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard163.png|250px]]}}
−
| 137 || [[November 26]], [[1995]] || [[Wedgie]]s are unhealthy for children and other living things || [[Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming]]
+
{{TB|The truth is not out there}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|"[[The Springfield Files]]"}}
−
| 138 || [[December 03]], [[1995]] || I will only do this once a year ''("[[The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular]]," a [[clip show]])'' || [[The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular]]
+
{{TB|3G01}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
+
{{TBT|164}}
−
| 139 || [[December 17]], [[1995]] || I will stop talking about the [[off-color humor|twelve inch pianist]] || [[Marge Be Not Proud]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard164.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|I am not licensed to do anything}}
−
| 140 || [[January 07]], [[1996]] || I am not certified to remove [[asbestos]] || [[Team Homer]]
+
{{TB|"[[The Twisted World of Marge Simpson]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
+
{{TB|4F08}}
−
| 141 || [[January 14]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Two Bad Neighbors]]
+
{{TBT|166}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard166.png|250px]]}}
−
| 142 || [[February 04]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield]]
+
{{TB|I will not hide the teacher's Prozac}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
+
{{TB|"[[Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious]]"}}
−
| 143 || [[February 11]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart the Fink]]
+
{{TB|3G03}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|173}}
−
| 144 || [[February 18]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Lisa the Iconoclast]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard173.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
+
{{TB|A fire drill does not demand a fire}}
−
| 145 || [[February 25]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Homer the Smithers]]
+
{{TB|"[[The Canine Mutiny]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|4F16}}
−
| 146 || [[March 17]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Day the Violence Died]]
+
}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
 
−
| 147 || [[March 24]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[A Fish Called Selma]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 148 || [[March 31]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart on the Road]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
 
−
| 149 || [[April 14]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[22 Short Films About Springfield]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 150 || [[April 28]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
 
−
| 151 || [[May 05]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Much Apu About Nothing]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 152 || [[May 19]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Homerpalooza]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#F1F1F9"
 
−
| 153 || [[May 19]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Summer of 4 Ft. 2]]
 
−
|}
 
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 8)|Season 8]] ==
+
== [[Season 9]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #8BC7D7" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Thumbnail}}
−
! style="background-color: #8BC7D7" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #8BC7D7" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #8BC7D7" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
+
{{TBT|181}}
−
| 154 || [[October 27]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror VII]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard181.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|I no longer want my [[MTV]]}}
−
| 155 || [[November 03]], [[1996]] || I did not [[All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten|learn everything I need to know from kindergarten]] || [[You Only Move Twice]]
+
{{TB|"[[Lisa's Sax]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
+
{{TB|3G02}}
−
| 156 || [[November 10]], [[1996]] || I am not my [[Hugo Simpson|long-lost twin]]|| [[The Homer They Fall]]
+
{{TBT|183}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard183.png|250px]]}}
−
| 157 || [[November 17]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Burns, Baby Burns]]
+
{{TB|Everyone is tired of that {{Ch|Richard Gere}} story}}
−
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
+
{{TB|"[[The Cartridge Family]]"}}
−
| 158 || [[November 24]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart After Dark]]
+
{{TB|5F01}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|184}}
−
| 159 || [[December 01]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[A Milhouse Divided]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard184.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
+
{{TB|I did not invent Irish dancing}}
−
| 160 || [[December 15]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' ''(But during the episode, Lisa writes "I will not be a snickerpuss.")'' || [[Lisa's Date with Density]]
+
{{TB|"[[Bart Star]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|5F03}}
−
| 161 || [[December 29]], [[1996]] || ''no gag'' || [[Hurricane Neddy]]
+
{{TBT|186}}
−
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard186.png|250px]]}}
−
| 162 || [[January 05]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)]]
+
{{TB|I will not tease Fatty}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|"[[Lisa the Skeptic]]"}}
−
| 163 || [[January 12]], [[1997]] || The truth is [[The X-Files|not out there]] ''("[[The Springfield Files]]," an ''[[X-Files]]'' parody episode)'' || [[The Springfield Files]]
+
{{TB|5F05}}
−
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
+
{{TBT|187}}
−
| 164 || [[January 19]], [[1997]] || I am not licenced to do anything (referencing [[Licence to Kill|a James Bond movie]]) || [[The Twisted World of Marge Simpson]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard187.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|There was no Roman god named "Fartacus"}}
−
| 165 || [[February 02]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[Mountain of Madness]]
+
{{TB|"[[Realty Bites]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
+
{{TB|5F06}}
−
| 166 || [[February 07]], [[1997]] || I will not hide the teacher's [[Fluoxetine|Prozac]] || [[The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show]]
+
{{TBT|188}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard188.png|250px]]}}
−
| 167 || [[February 09]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show]]
+
{{TB|Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related}}
−
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
+
{{TB|"[[Miracle on Evergreen Terrace]]"}}
−
| 168 || [[February 16]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[Homer's Phobia]]
+
{{TB|5F07}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|191}}
−
| 169 || [[February 23]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[Brother from Another Series]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard191.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
+
{{TB|Shooting paintballs is not an art form}}
−
| 170 || [[March 02]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[My Sister, My Sitter]]
+
{{TB|"[[The Joy of Sect]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|5F23}}
−
| 171 || [[March 16]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment]]
+
{{TBT|193}}
−
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard193.png|250px]]}}
−
| 172 || [[April 06]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[Grade School Confidential]]
+
{{TB|Pain is not the cleanser}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|"[[The Last Temptation of Krust]]"}}
−
| 173 || [[April 13]], [[1997]] || A [[fire drill]] does not demand a fire || [[The Canine Mutiny]]
+
{{TB|5F10}}
−
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
+
{{TBT|194}}
−
| 174 || [[April 20]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Old Man and the Lisa]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard194.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|Silly string is not a nasal spray}}
−
| 175 || [[April 27]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[In Marge We Trust]]
+
{{TB|"[[Dumbbell Indemnity]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
+
{{TB|5F12}}
−
| 176 || [[May 04]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[Homer's Enemy]]
+
{{TBT|196}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard196.png|250px]]}}
−
| 177 || [[May 11]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase]]
+
{{TB|I was not told to do this}}
−
|- style="background-color:#EDF6F8"
+
{{TB|"[[This Little Wiggy]]"}}
−
| 178 || [[May 18]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Secret War of Lisa Simpson]]
+
{{TB|5F13}}
−
|}
+
{{TBT|197}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard197.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|My butt does not deserve a website}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Simpson Tide]]"}}
 +
{{TB|3G04}}
 +
{{TBT|198}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard198.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not demand what I'm worth}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Trouble with Trillions]]"}}
 +
{{TB|5F14}}
 +
{{TBT|200}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard200.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not mess with the [[The Simpsons|opening credits]]<br>''(this was actually the [[couch gag]] for this episode)''}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Trash of the Titans]]"}}
 +
{{TB|5F09}}
 +
{{TBT|202}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard202.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I am not the new [[Dalai Lama]]}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Lost Our Lisa]]"}}
 +
{{TB|5F17}}
 +
{{TBT|203}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard203.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I was not the inspiration for "{{W|Cosmo Kramer|Kramer}}"}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Natural Born Kissers]]"}}
 +
{{TB|5F18}}
 +
}}
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 9)|Season 9]] ==
+
== [[Season 10]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #E08DBE" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #E08DBE" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #E08DBE" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #E08DBE" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
+
{{TBT|205}}
−
| 179 || [[September 21]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard205.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|I will not file frivolous lawsuits}}
−
| 180 || [[September 28]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Principal and the Pauper]]
+
{{TB|"[[The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
+
{{TB|5F21}}
−
| 181 || [[October 19]], [[1997]] || I no longer want my [[MTV]] ''(reference to the lyrics of the [[Dire Straits]] song [[Money for Nothing (song)|Money for Nothing]], and a possible jab at MTV's declining quality due to lack of music videos and music-related programming)'' || [[Lisa's Sax]]
+
{{TBT|207}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard gag (Treehouse of Horror IX).png|250px]]}}
−
| 182 || [[October 26]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror VIII]]
+
{{TB|The Simpsons Halloween Special IX<br>''(This is written in blood with a paintbrush.)''}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
+
{{TB|"[[Treehouse of Horror IX]]"}}
−
| 183 || [[November 02]], [[1997]] || Everyone is tired of that [[Richard Gere]] [[urban legend|story]] || [[The Cartridge Family]]
+
{{TB|AABF01}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|208}}
−
| 184 || [[November 09]], [[1997]] || I did not invent [[Irish dancing]] || [[Bart Star]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard208.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
+
{{TB|"butt.com" is not my E-mail address<br>''(This was changed to "butt.butt" in later airings since butt.com was revealed to be a real website. Butt.com still appeared in syndication, however)''}}
−
| 185 || [[November 16]], [[1997]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons]]
+
{{TB|"[[When You Dish Upon a Star]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|5F19}}
−
| 186 || [[November 23]], [[1997]] || I will not tease Fatty || [[Lisa the Skeptic]]
+
{{TBT|209}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard209.png|250px]]}}
−
| 187 || [[December 07]], [[1997]] || There was no [[Roman mythology|Roman god]] named "Fartacus" || [[Realty Bites]]
+
{{TB|No one cares what my {{W|Lewinsky scandal|definition of "is"}} is}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|"[[D'oh-in' in the Wind]]"}}
−
| 188 || [[December 21]], [[1997]] || [[Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer|Rudolph]]'s red nose is not alcohol-related || [[Miracle on Evergreen Terrace]]
+
{{TB|AABF02}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
+
{{TBT|210}}
−
| 189 || [[January 04]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[All Singing, All Dancing]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard210.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|I will not scream for ice cream}}
−
| 190 || [[January 11]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart Carny]]
+
{{TB|"[[Lisa Gets an "A"]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
+
{{TB|AABF03}}
−
| 191 || [[February 08]], [[1998]] || Shooting [[paintball]]s is not an art form || [[The Joy of Sect]]
+
{{TBT|211}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard211.png|250px]]}}
−
| 192 || [[February 15]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[Das Bus]]
+
{{TB|I am not a licensed hairstylist}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
+
{{TB|"[[Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"]]"}}
−
| 193 || [[February 22]], [[1998]] || Pain is not the cleanser (Surprisingly, Ned Flanders shouted "Pain is the cleanser!" as he yanked his moustache in the episode [[Home Away from Homer]].) || [[The Last Temptation of Krust]]
+
{{TB|AABF04}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|212}}
−
| 194 || [[March 01]], [[1998]] || [[Silly string]] is not a [[nasal spray]] || [[Dumbbell Indemnity]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard212.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
+
{{TB|"The President did it" is not an excuse}}
−
| 195 || [[March 08]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[Lisa the Simpson]]
+
{{TB|"[[Mayored to the Mob]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|AABF05}}
−
| 196 || [[March 22]], [[1998]] || I was told not to do this || [[This Little Wiggy]]
+
{{TBT|213}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard213.png|250px]]}}
−
| 197 || [[March 29]], [[1998]] || My butt does not deserve a [[website]] || [[Simpson Tide]]
+
{{TB|My mom is not dating [[Jerry Seinfeld]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|"[[Viva Ned Flanders]]"}}
−
| 198 || [[April 05]], [[1998]] || I will not demand what I'm worth ''(This is a reference to the voice cast's recent demands for higher pay.)'' || [[The Trouble With Trillions]]
+
{{TB|AABF06}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
+
{{TBT|214}}
−
| 199 || [[April 19]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[Girly Edition]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard214.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[Sherri]] does not "got back"}}
−
| 200 || [[April 26]], [[1998]] || I will not mess with the [[The Simpsons#Opening sequence|opening credits]] ''(This was actually the [[couch gag]] for this episode; the rest of the family runs into the classroom to find Bart already there writing on the board.)'' || [[Trash of the Titans]]
+
{{TB|"[[Wild Barts Can't Be Broken]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
+
{{TB|AABF07}}
−
| 201 || [[May 03]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[King of the Hill (The Simpsons)|King of the Hill]]
+
{{TBT|215}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard215.png|250px]]}}
−
| 202 || [[May 10]], [[1998]] || I am not the new [[Dalai Lama]] || [[Lost Our Lisa]]
+
{{TB|I will not do "{{W|Atlanta Falcons|the dirty bird}}"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#F7D6E8"
+
{{TB|"[[Sunday, Cruddy Sunday]]"}}
−
| 203 || [[May 17]], [[1998]] || I was not the inspiration for "[[Cosmo Kramer|Kramer]]" ''(This episode aired three days after [[The Finale (Seinfeld episode)|the last episode]] of "[[Seinfeld]]".)'' || [[Natural Born Kissers]]
+
{{TB|AABF08}}
−
|}
+
{{TBT|216}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard216.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|No one cares about my {{W|sciatica}}}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homer to the Max]]"}}
 +
{{TB|AABF09}}
 +
{{TBT|217}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard217.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Hillbillies are people too}}
 +
{{TB|"[[I'm with Cupid]]"}}
 +
{{TB|AABF11}}
 +
{{TBT|218}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard218.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Grammar is not a time of waste}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"]]"}}
 +
{{TB|AABF10}}
 +
{{TBT|219}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard219.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I do not have diplomatic immunity}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Make Room for Lisa]]"}}
 +
{{TB|AABF12}}
 +
{{TBT|220}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard220.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|It does not suck to be you}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Maximum Homerdrive]]"}}
 +
{{TB|AABF13}}
 +
{{TRsT|221|2}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard221.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I cannot absolve sins}}
 +
{{TRs|"[[Simpsons Bible Stories]]"|2}}
 +
{{TRs|AABF14|2}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:chalkboard221 1.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''During Lisa's dream in the episode:'''<br>I will not deface (In hieroglyphics)}}
 +
{{TBT|222}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard222.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|A trained ape could not teach gym}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Mom and Pop Art]]"}}
 +
{{TB|AABF15}}
 +
{{TBT|223}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard223.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Loose teeth don't need my help}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Old Man and the "C" Student]]"}}
 +
{{TB|AABF16}}
 +
{{TBT|224}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard224.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I have neither been there nor done that}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Monty Can't Buy Me Love]]"}}
 +
{{TB|AABF17}}
 +
{{TBT|225}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard225.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|No one wants to hear from my armpits}}
 +
{{TB|"[[They Saved Lisa's Brain]]"}}
 +
{{TB|AABF18}}
 +
{{TBT|226}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard226.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I'm so very tired}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo]]"}}
 +
{{TB|AABF20}}
 +
}}
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 10)|Season 10]] ==
+
== [[Season 11]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #bca56a" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #bca56a" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #bca56a" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #bca56a" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
+
{{TBT|227}}
−
| 204 || [[August 23]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[Lard of the Dance]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard227.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|Fridays are not "pants optional"}}
−
| 205 || [[September 20]], [[1998]] || I will not file [[frivolous litigation|frivolous lawsuits]] || [[The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace]]
+
{{TB|"[[Beyond Blunderdome]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
+
{{TB|AABF23}}
−
| 206 || [[September 27]], [[1998]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart the Mother]]
+
{{TBT|228}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard228.png|250px]]}}
−
| 207 || [[October 25]], [[1998]] || The Simpsons Halloween Special IX ''(This is written in blood with a paintbrush.)'' || [[Treehouse of Horror IX]]
+
{{TB|Pork is not a verb}}
−
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
+
{{TB|"[[Brother's Little Helper]]"}}
−
| 208 || [[November 08]], [[1998]] || "butt.com" is not my [[E-mail address]] ''(This was changed to "butt.butt" in later airings since butt.com was revealed to be a real website.  Butt.com still appeared in syndication, however.)'' || [[When You Dish upon a Star]]
+
{{TB|AABF22}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|229}}
−
| 209 || [[November 15]], [[1998]] || No one cares what my [[Lewinsky scandal|definition of "is"]] is || [[D'oh-in in the Wind]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard229.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
+
{{TB|I am not the last Don}}
−
| 210 || [[November 22]], [[1998]] || I will not scream for [[ice cream]] || [[Lisa Gets an "A"]]
+
{{TB|"[[Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|AABF21}}
−
| 211 || [[December 06]], [[1998]] || I am not a licensed [[hairstylist]] || [[Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"]]
+
{{TBT|231}}
−
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard231.png|250px]]}}
−
| 212 || [[December 20]], [[1998]] || "The [[Bill Clinton|President]] did it" is not an excuse ''(This aired a day after [[Bill Clinton]] was impeached)'' || [[Mayored to the Mob]]
+
{{TB|I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|"[[E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)]]"}}
−
| 213 || [[January 10]], [[1999]] || My mom is not dating [[Jerry Seinfeld]] || [[Viva Ned Flanders]]
+
{{TB|AABF19}}
−
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
+
{{TBT|232}}
−
| 214 || [[January 17]], [[1999]] || [[Sherri and Terri|Sherri]] does not "[[Baby Got Back|got back]]" || [[Wild Barts Can't Be Broken]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard232.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|I won't not use no double negatives}}
−
| 215 || [[January 31]], [[1999]] || I will not do "[[Atlanta Falcons|the dirty bird]]" ''(This episode aired the night of [[Super Bowl XXXIII]], in which the [[Atlanta Falcons]], for whom "The Dirty Bird" was a signature dance/celebration, played.)'' || [[Sunday, Cruddy Sunday]]
+
{{TB|"[[Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
+
{{TB|BABF02}}
−
| 216 || [[February 07]], [[1999]] || No one cares about my [[sciatica]] || [[Homer to the Max]]
+
{{TBT|233}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard233.png|250px]]}}
−
| 217 || [[February 14]], [[1999]] || [[Hillbilly|Hillbillies]] are people too || [[I'm with Cupid]]
+
{{TB|Indian burns are not our cultural heritage}}
−
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
+
{{TB|"[[Eight Misbehavin']]"}}
−
| 218 || [[February 21]], [[1999]] || [[Grammar]] is not a time of waste || [[Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"]]
+
{{TB|BABF03}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|234}}
−
| 219 || [[February 28]], [[1999]] || I do not have [[diplomatic immunity]] (Taken from 9F20) || [[Make Room for Lisa]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard234.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
+
{{TB|I can't see dead people}}
−
| 220 || [[March 28]], [[1999]] || It does not suck to be you (A reference to a [[Prozzäk]] song) || [[Maximum Homerdrive]]
+
{{TB|"[[Take My Wife, Sleaze]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|BABF05}}
−
| 221 || [[April 04]], [[1999]] || I cannot [[Absolution|absolve]] sins ''(And during Lisa's dream in the episode:'' I will not deface'' using hieroglyphics where possible)'' || [[Simpsons Bible Stories]]
+
{{TRsT|235|2}}
−
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard235.png|250px]]}}
−
| 222 || [[April 11]], [[1999]] || A trained ape could not teach gym || [[Mom and Pop Art]]
+
{{TB|I will not sell my kidney on [[eBay]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TRs|"[[Grift of the Magi]]"|2}}
−
| 223 || [[April 25]], [[1999]] || Loose [[tooth|teeth]] don't need my help || [[The Old Man and the "C" Student]]
+
{{TRs|BABF07|2}}
−
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
+
{{TBT|[[File:chalkboard235 1.png|250px]]}}
−
| 224 || [[May 02]], [[1999]] || I have neither been there nor done that || [[Monty Can't Buy Me Love]]
+
{{TB|'''During the episode, Lisa writes:'''<br>I will not do math in class}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|236}}
−
| 225 || [[May 09]], [[1999]] || No one wants to hear from my armpits (This is from 3F01) || [[They Saved Lisa's Brain]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard236.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#efe6d0"
+
{{TB|I will not {{W|Chris Ofili|create art from dung}}}}
−
| 226 || [[May 16]], [[1999]] || I'm so very tired ''(At this point, Bart had been doing these gags for ten seasons.)'' || [[Thirty Minutes over Tokyo]]
+
{{TB|"[[Little Big Mom]]"}}
−
|}
+
{{TB|BABF04}}
 +
{{TBT|237}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard237.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will stop phoning it in}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Faith Off]]"}}
 +
{{TB|BABF06}}
 +
{{TBT|238}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard238.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Class clown is not a paid position}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Mansion Family]]"}}
 +
{{TB|BABF08}}
 +
{{TBT|239}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard239.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Substitute teachers are not scabs}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Saddlesore Galactica]]"}}
 +
{{TB|BABF09}}
 +
{{TBT|240}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard240.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|My suspension was not mutual}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Alone Again, Natura-Diddily]]"}}
 +
{{TB|BABF10}}
 +
{{TBT|241}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard241.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|A belch is not an oral report}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Missionary: Impossible]]"}}
 +
{{TB|BABF11}}
 +
{{TBT|242}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard242.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|[[Dodgeball]] stops at the gym door}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Pygmoelian]]"}}
 +
{{TB|BABF12}}
 +
{{TBT|243}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard243.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Non-flammable is not a challenge}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Bart to the Future]]"}}
 +
{{TB|BABF13}}
 +
{{TBT|244}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard244.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I was not touched "there" by an angel}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Days of Wine and D'oh'ses]]"}}
 +
{{TB|BABF14}}
 +
{{TBT|245}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard245.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I am not here on a fartball scholarship}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Kill the Alligator and Run]]"}}
 +
{{TB|BABF16}}
 +
{{TBT|246}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard246.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not dance on anyone's grave}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Last Tap Dance in Springfield]]"}}
 +
{{TB|BABF15}}
 +
{{TBT|247}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard247.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I cannot hire a substitute student}}
 +
{{TB|"[[It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge]]"}}
 +
{{TB|BABF18}}
 +
{{TBT|248}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard248.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not obey the voices in my head}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Behind the Laughter]]"}}
 +
{{TB|BABF19}}
 +
}}
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 11)|Season 11]] ==
+
== [[Season 12]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|250}}
−
| 227 || [[September 26]], [[1999]] || Fridays are not "[[clothing optional|pants optional]]" ''(In Australia, [[Hamish and Andy]] (a comedy duo) have decided that Friday should be Pants off Friday.)'' || [[Beyond Blunderdome]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard250.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|I will not plant sublimin{{color|99cc00|'''al'''}} messa{{color|99cc00|'''gore'''}}s}}
−
| 228 || [[October 03]], [[1999]] || [[Pork]] is not a [[verb]] ''(the irony is that "pork" is a verb, albeit a vulgar slang term, meaning "to have sexual intercourse with")''|| [[Brother's Little Helper]]
+
{{TB|"[[A Tale of Two Springfields]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|BABF20}}
−
| 229 || [[October 24]], [[1999]] || I am not [[the Last Don|the last Don]] ''(Possibly a reference to the 1997 TV minseries of the same name, which starred [[Joe Mantegna]], voice of recurring Simpsons character [[Fat Tony]])'' || [[Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?]]
+
{{TBT|251}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard251.png|250px]]}}
−
| 230 || [[October 31]], [[1999]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror X]]
+
{{TB|I will not surprise the incontinent}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|"[[Insane Clown Poppy]]"}}
−
| 231 || [[November 07]], [[1999]] || I did not win the [[Nobel Prize|Nobel Fart Prize]] || [[E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)]]
+
{{TB|BABF17}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|252}}
−
| 232 || [[November 14]], [[1999]] || I won't not use no [[double negative]]s ''(since three negatives are used, the sentence is true)'' || [[Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard252.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|I am not the {{W|Acting President of the United States|acting president}}}}
−
| 233 || [[November 21]], [[1999]] || [[School prank#Indian burn|Indian burns]] are not our cultural heritage (This is from 3F05) || [[Eight Misbehavin']]
+
{{TB|"[[Lisa the Tree Hugger]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|CABF01}}
−
| 234 || [[November 28]], [[1999]] || I can't see dead people (This is a reference to [[The Sixth Sense]]) || [[Take My Wife, Sleaze]]
+
{{TBT|253}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard253.png|250px]]}}
−
| 235 || [[December 19]], [[1999]] || I will not [[Organ transplant|sell my kidney]] on [[eBay]] (this is impossible now, since eBay prohibits the sale of organs)|| [[Grift of the Magi]]
+
{{TB|I was not the {{W|Fifth Beatle|sixth Beatle}}}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|"[[Homer vs. Dignity]]"}}
−
| 236 || [[January 9]], [[2000]] || I will not [[Chris Ofili#Controversy|create art from dung]] || [[Little Big Mom]]
+
{{TB|CABF04}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|254}}
−
| 237 || [[January 16]], [[2000]] || I will stop phoning it in || [[Faith Off]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard254.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|I will only provide a urine sample when asked}}
−
| 238 || [[January 23]], [[2000]] || Class clown is not a paid position || [[The Mansion Family]]
+
{{TB|"[[The Computer Wore Menace Shoes]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|CABF02}}
−
| 239 || [[February 06]], [[2000]] || Substitute teachers are not [[Strike action#"Scabs"|scab]]s || [[Saddlesore Galactica]]
+
{{TBT|255}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard255.png|250px]]}}
−
| 240 || [[February 13]], [[2000]] || My [[Suspension (school punishment)|suspension]] was not mutual || [[Alone Again, Natura-Diddily]]
+
{{TB|The nurse is not dealing}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|"[[The Great Money Caper]]"}}
−
| 241 || [[February 20]], [[2000]] || A [[belch]] is not an oral report || [[Missionary: Impossible]]
+
{{TB|CABF03}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TRsT|256|2}}
−
| 242 || [[February 27]], [[2000]] || [[Dodgeball]] stops at the gym door || [[Pygmoelian]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard256.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|Science class should not end in tragedy}}
−
| 243 || [[March 19]], [[2000]] || [[Flammable|Non-flammable]] is not a challenge || [[Bart to the Future]]
+
{{TRs|"[[Skinner's Sense of Snow]]"|2}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TRs|CABF06|2}}
−
| 244 || [[April 09]], [[2000]] || I was not [[sexual harassment|touched]] [[penis|"there"]] [[Touched by an Angel|by an angel]] || [[Days of Wine and D'oh'ses]]
+
{{TBT|[[File:Chalkboard256 1.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|'''During the episode, Skinner writes:'''<br>I ain't not a dorkus}}
−
| 245 || [[April 30]], [[2000]] || I am not here on a fartball [[scholarship]] || [[Kill the Alligator and Run]]
+
{{TBT|257}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard257.png|250px]]}}
−
| 246 || [[May 07]], [[2000]] || I will not dance on anyone's grave || [[Last Tap Dance in Springfield]]
+
{{TB|Network TV is not dead}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|"[[HOMЯ]]"}}
−
| 247 || [[May 14]], [[2000]] || I cannot hire a substitute student || [[It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge]]
+
{{TB|BABF22}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|258}}
−
| 248 || [[May 21]], [[2000]] || "I will not obey the voices in my head" || [[Behind the Laughter]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard258.png|250px]]}}
−
|}
+
{{TB|I will not "let the dogs out"}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Pokey Mom]]"}}
 +
{{TB|CABF05}}
 +
{{TBT|259}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard259.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not hide the teacher's medication}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Worst Episode Ever]]"}}
 +
{{TB|CABF08}}
 +
{{TBT|260}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard260.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not publish the principal's credit report}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Tennis the Menace]]"}}
 +
{{TB|CABF07}}
 +
{{TBT|261}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard261.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|The hamster did not have a "full life"}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Day of the Jackanapes]]"}}
 +
{{TB|CABF10}}
 +
{{TBT|262}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard262.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not buy a presidential pardon}}
 +
{{TB|"[[New Kids on the Blecch]]"}}
 +
{{TB|CABF12}}
 +
{{TBT|263}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard263.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|"{{W|Temptation Island}}" was not a sleazy piece of crap}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Hungry, Hungry Homer]]"}}
 +
{{TB|CABF09}}
 +
{{TBT|264}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard264.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not scare the [[Dick Cheney|vice president]]}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Bye, Bye, Nerdie]]"}}
 +
{{TB|CABF11}}
 +
{{TBT|265}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard265.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not flush evidence}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Simpson Safari]]"}}
 +
{{TB|CABF13}}
 +
{{TBT|266}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:CABF14 chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Fire is not the cleanser}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Trilogy of Error]]"}}
 +
{{TB|CABF14}}
 +
{{TBT|267}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard267.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Genetics is not an excuse}}
 +
{{TB|"[[I'm Goin' to Praiseland]]"}}
 +
{{TB|CABF15}}
 +
{{TBT|268}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard268.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Today is not {{W|Mothra}}'s Day}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Children of a Lesser Clod]]"}}
 +
{{TB|CABF16}}
 +
{{TBT|269}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard269.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I should not be twenty-one by now}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Simpsons Tall Tales]]"}}
 +
{{TB|CABF17}}
 +
}}
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 12)|Season 12]] ==
+
== [[Season 13]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|271}}
−
| 249 || [[November 01]], [[2000]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror XI]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard271.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|Nobody reads these anymore}}
−
| 250 || [[November 05]], [[2000]] || I will not plant sublimin<span style="color: green;">'''al'''</span> messa'''[[Al Gore|<span style="color: green;">gore</span>]]'''s (aired two days before the [[United States presidential election, 2000|2000 U.S. presidential election]]) || [[A Tale of Two Springfields]]
+
{{TB|"[[The Parent Rap]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|CABF22}}
−
| 251 || [[November 12]], [[2000]] || I will not surprise the [[incontinence|incontinent]] || [[Insane Clown Poppy]]
+
{{TBT|272}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard272.png|250px]]}}
−
| 252 || [[November 19]], [[2000]] || I am not the [[Acting President of the United States|acting president]] (aired during the legal contest over the results of the 2000 presidential election) || [[Lisa the Tree Hugger]]
+
{{TB|A burp in a jar is not a science project}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|"[[Homer the Moe]]"}}
−
| 253 || [[November 26]], [[2000]] || I was not the [[Fifth Beatle|sixth Beatle]] || [[Homer vs. Dignity]]
+
{{TB|CABF20}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|273}}
−
| 254 || [[December 03]], [[2000]] || I will only provide a urine sample when asked || [[The Computer Wore Menace Shoes]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard273.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|Fun does not have a size}}
−
| 255 || [[December 10]], [[2000]] || The nurse is not dealing || [[The Great Money Caper]]
+
{{TB|"[[A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|CABF18}}
−
| 256 || [[December 17]], [[2000]] || Science class should not end in [[tragedy]] ''(During the episode, Skinner writes "I ain't not a dorkus")'' || [[Skinner's Sense of Snow]]
+
{{TBT|274}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard274.png|250px]]}}
−
| 257 || [[January 07]], [[2001]] || Network TV is not dead || [[HOMR]]
+
{{TB|I am not Charlie Brown on acid}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|"[[The Blunder Years]]"}}
−
| 258 || [[January 14]], [[2001]] || I will not "[[Who Let the Dogs Out|let the dogs out]]" ''(reference a song made popular by the [[Baha Men]])'' || [[Pokey Mom]]
+
{{TB|CABF21}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|275}}
−
| 259 || [[February 04]], [[2001]] || I will not hide the teacher's medication || [[Worst Episode Ever]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard275.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|I do not have a cereal named after me}}
−
| 260 || [[February 11]], [[2001]] || I will not publish the principal's [[credit history|credit report]] || [[Tennis the Menace]]
+
{{TB|"[[She of Little Faith]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|DABF02}}
−
| 261 || [[February 18]], [[2001]] || The hamster did not have a "full life" || [[Day of the Jackanapes]]
+
{{TBT|279}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard279.png|250px]]}}
−
| 262 || [[February 25]], [[2001]] || I will not buy a [[presidential pardon]] ''(This refers to the [[Bill Clinton pardons controversy]], involving 140 pardons he issued on his last day in office.)'' || [[New Kids on the Blecch]]
+
{{TB|I will not bite the hand that feeds me [[Butterfinger]]s}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|"[[Half-Decent Proposal]]"}}
−
| 263 || [[March 04]], [[2001]] || "[[Temptation Island]]" was not a sleazy piece of crap || [[Hungry, Hungry Homer]]
+
{{TB|DABF04}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|280}}
−
| 264 || [[March 11]], [[2001]] || I will not scare the [[Dick Cheney|vice president]] ''(a reference to VP Cheney's heart condition)'' || [[Bye Bye Nerdie]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard280.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|The Giving Tree is not a chump}}
−
| 265 || [[April 01]], [[2001]] || I will not flush evidence || [[Simpson Safari]]
+
{{TB|"[[The Bart Wants What It Wants]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|DABF06}}
−
| 266 || [[April 29]], [[2001]] || Fire is not the cleanser || [[Trilogy of Error]]
+
{{TBT|281}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard281.png|250px]]}}
−
| 267 || [[May 06]], [[2001]] || [[Genetics]] is not an excuse || [[I'm Goin' to Praiseland]]
+
{{TB|Making [[Milhouse]] cry is not a science project}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|"[[The Lastest Gun in the West]]"}}
−
| 268 || [[May 13]], [[2001]] || Today is not [[Mothra]]'s Day ''(This episode aired on [[Mother's Day]].)'' || [[Children of a Lesser Clod]]
+
{{TB|DABF07}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|283}}
−
| 269 || [[May 20]], [[2001]] || I should not be twenty-one by now ''(Referring to the fact that Bart has been the age of ten for over eleven years.)'' || [[Simpsons Tall Tales]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard283.png|250px]]}}
−
|}
+
{{TB|Vampire is not a career choice}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Tales from the Public Domain]]"}}
 +
{{TB|DABF08}}
 +
{{TBT|288}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard288.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will never lie about being cancelled again}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Sweetest Apu]]"}}
 +
{{TB|DABF14}}
 +
}}
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 13)|Season 13]] ==
+
== [[Season 14]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|294}}
−
| 270 || November 06, [[2001]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror XII]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard294.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|Fish do not like coffee}}
−
| 271 || November 11, [[2001]] || Nobody reads these anymore || [[The Parent Rap]]
+
{{TB|"[[Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|DABF20}}
−
| 272 || November 18, [[2001]] || A burp in a jar is not a science project || [[Homer the Moe]]
+
{{TBT|296}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard296.png|250px]]}}
−
| 273 || December 02, [[2001]] || Fun does not have a size || [[A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love]]
+
{{TB|[[Milhouse]] did not test cootie positive}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|"[[Helter Shelter]]"}}
−
| 274 || December 09, [[2001]] || I am not Charlie Brown on acid (''reference to how critics described "[[South Park]]"'') || [[The Blunder Years]]
+
{{TB|DABF21}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|300}}
−
| 275 || December 16, [[2001]] || I do not have a cereal named after me ''(In fact, he did: "[[Bart Simpson Peanut Butter Chocolate Crunch]]". In the UK they released "[[Bart Simpson's No Problem-os]])'' || [[She of Little Faith]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard300.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|This school does not need a "regime change"}}
−
| 276 || January 06, [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Brawl in the Family]]
+
{{TB|"[[The Strong Arms of the Ma]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|EABF04}}
−
| 277 || January 20, [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Sweets and Sour Marge]]
+
{{TBT|301}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|[[File:Pray Anything - Chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
−
| 278 || [[January 27]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Jaws Wired Shut]]
+
{{TB|[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] is not a contraceptive}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|"[[Pray Anything]]"}}
−
| 279 || February 10, [[2002]] || I will not bite the hand that feeds me [[Butterfinger]]s ''(A reference to his Butterfinger commercials and how, after a blatant jab two episodes earlier, the ads had been canceled.)'' || [[Half-Decent Proposal]]
+
{{TB|EABF06}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|302}}
−
| 280 || February 17, [[2002]] ||The Giving Tree is not a chump || [[The Bart Wants What It Wants]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard302.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|I will not ''(Bart then destroys the chalkboard with an axe and runs out the school laughing.)''}}
−
| 281 || February 24, [[2002]] || Making [[Milhouse Van Houten|Milhouse]] cry is not a science project || [[The Lastest Gun in the West]]
+
{{TB|"[[Barting Over]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|EABF05}}
−
| 282 || March 10, [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Old Man and the Key]]
+
{{TBT|310}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard310.png|250px]]}}
−
| 283 || March 17, [[2002]]|| Vampire is not a career choice || [[Tales from the Public Domain]]
+
{{TB|My pen is not a booger launcher}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|"[[Old Yeller-Belly]]"}}
−
| 284 || March 31, [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Blame It on Lisa]]
+
{{TB|EABF14}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|312}}
−
| 285 || April 07, [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Weekend at Burnsie's]]
+
{{TB|[[File:chalkboard312.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|Sandwiches should not contain sand}}
−
| 286 || April 21, [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Gump Roast]]
+
{{TB|"[[The Bart of War]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|EABF16}}
−
| 287 || April 28, [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[I Am Furious Yellow]]
+
}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 288 || May 05, [[2002]] || I will never [[Matt Groening|lie about being cancelled]] again ''(a reference to Matt Groening spreading a rumor that The Simpsons was going to end its run after this season)'' || [[The Sweetest Apu]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 289 || May 12, [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Little Girl in the Big Ten]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 290 || May 19, [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Frying Game]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 291 || May 22, [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Papa's Got a Brand New Badge]]
 
−
|}
 
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 14)|Season 14]] ==
+
== [[Season 15]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|319}}
−
| 292 || [[November 03]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror XIII]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard319.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|Over forty & single is not funny}}
−
| 293 || [[November 10]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[How I Spent My Strummer Vacation]]
+
{{TB|"[[Today I Am a Clown]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|FABF01}}
−
| 294 || [[November 17]], [[2002]] || Fish do not like [[coffee]] || [[Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade]]
+
{{TBT|327}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard327.png|250px]]}}
−
| 295 || [[November 24]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[Large Marge]]
+
{{TB|I will not speculate on how hot [[Edna Krabappel|teacher]] used to be}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|"[[The Ziff Who Came to Dinner]]"}}
−
| 296 || [[December 01]], [[2002]] || [[Milhouse Van Houten|Milhouse]] did not test [[Cooties|cootie]] positive || [[Helter Shelter]]
+
{{TB|FABF08}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
}}
−
| 297 || [[December 15]], [[2002]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Great Louse Detective]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 298 || [[January 05]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[Special Edna]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 299 || [[January 12]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Dad Who Knew Too Little]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 300 || [[February 02]], [[2003]] || This school does not need a "[[regime change]]" ''(reference to the then-upcoming [[2003 Invasion of Iraq|War In Iraq]])'' || [[Strong Arms of the Ma]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 301 || [[February 09]], [[2003]] || [[SpongeBob SquarePants |SpongeBob]] is not a [[contraceptive]] || [[Pray Anything]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 302 || [[February 16]], [[2003]] || I will not ''(Bart then destroys the chalkboard with an axe.)'' || [[Barting Over]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 303 || [[February 16]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 304 || [[March 02]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[A Star Is Born-Again]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 305 || [[March 09]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 306 || [[March 16]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[C.E. D'oh]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 307 || [[March 30]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [['Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 308 || [[April 13]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[Three Gays of the Condo]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 309 || [[April 27]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[Dude, Where's My Ranch?]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 310 || [[May 04]], [[2003]] || My pen is not a [[booger]] launcher || [[Old Yeller Belly]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 311 || [[May 11]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[Brake My Wife, Please]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 312 || [[May 18]], [[2003]] || [[Sandwich]]es should not contain [[sand]] || [[Bart of War]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 313 || [[May 18]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[Moe Baby Blues]]
 
−
|}
 
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 15)|Season 15]] ==
+
== [[Season 16]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|339}}
−
| 314 || [[November 02]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror XIV]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard339.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|Poking a dead raccoon is not research}}
−
| 315 || [[November 09]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[My Mother the Carjacker]]
+
{{TB|"[[She Used to Be My Girl]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|FABF22}}
−
| 316 || [[November 16]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[The President Wore Pearls]]
+
{{TBT|346}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard346.png|250px]]}}
−
| 317 || [[November 23]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Regina Monologues]]
+
{{TB|Beer in a milk carton is not milk}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|"[[On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister]]"}}
−
| 318 || [[November 30]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Fat and the Furriest]]
+
{{TB|GABF05}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|355}}
−
| 319 || [[December 07]], [[2003]] || Over forty & single is not funny || [[Today I Am a Clown]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard355.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|A Booger is not a bookmark}}
−
| 320 || [[December 14]], [[2003]] || ''no gag'' || [['Tis the Fifteenth Season]]
+
{{TB|"[[Home Away from Homer]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|GABF15}}
−
| 321 || [[January 04]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays]]
+
}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 322 || [[January 11]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 323 || [[January 25]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Diatribe of a Mad Housewife]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 324 || [[February 08]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Margical History Tour]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 325 || [[February 15]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 326 || [[February 22]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Smart and Smarter]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 327 || [[March 14]], [[2004]] || I will not speculate on how hot [[Mrs. Krabappel|teacher]] used to be || [[The Ziff Who Came to Dinner]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 328 || [[March 21]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Co-Dependent's Day]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 329 || [[March 28]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Wandering Juvie]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 330 || [[April 18]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[My Big Fat Geek Wedding]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 331 || [[April 25]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Catch 'Em if You Can]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 332 || [[May 02]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Simple Simpson]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 333 || [[May 09]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Way We Weren't]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 334 || [[May 16]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart-Mangled Banner]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 335 || [[May 23]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Fraudcast News]]
 
−
|}
 
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 16)|Season 16]] ==
+
== [[Season 17]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|357}}
−
| 336 || [[November 07]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror XV]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard357.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|Does any kid still do this anymore?}}
−
| 337 || [[November 14]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[All's Fair in Oven War]]
+
{{TB|"[[The Bonfire of the Manatees]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|GABF18}}
−
| 338 || [[November 21]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Sleeping with the Enemy (The Simpsons episode)|Sleeping with the Enemy]]
+
{{TBT|366}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard366.png|250px]]}}
−
| 339 || [[December 05]], [[2004]] || Poking a dead [[raccoon]] is not research || [[She Used to Be My Girl]]
+
{{TB|I am not smarter than the [[George W. Bush|President]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|"[[Homer's Paternity Coot]]"}}
−
| 340 || [[December 12]], [[2004]] || ''no gag'' || [[Fat Man and Little Boy (The Simpsons)|Fat Man and Little Boy]]
+
{{TB|HABF03}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|367}}
−
| 341 || [[January 16]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Midnight Rx]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard367.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|[[Edna Krabappel|Teacher]] was not dumped—it was mutual}}
−
| 342 || [[January 30]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Mommie Beerest]]
+
{{TB|"[[We're on the Road to D'ohwhere]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|HABF04}}
−
| 343 || [[February 06]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass]]
+
{{TRsT|371|2}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|[[File:Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife promo 3.png|250px]]}}
−
| 344 || [[February 13]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Pranksta Rap]]
+
{{TB|'''First airing, live action opening:'''<br>I will not eat things for money}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TRs|"[[Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife]]"|2}}
−
| 345 || [[February 20]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[There's Something About Marrying]]
+
{{TRs|HABF08|2}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|[[File:Chalkboard371-2.png|250px]]}}
−
| 346 || [[March 06]], [[2005]] || Beer in a [[milk carton]] is not milk || [[On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister]]
+
{{TB|'''Subsequent airings:'''<br>I will not laminate dog doo}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|372}}
−
| 347 || [[March 13]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Goo Goo Gai Pan]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Million-Dollar Abie (Chalkboard gag).png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|I will not flip the classroom upside down<br>''(The classroom is flipped upside down.)''}}
−
| 348 || [[March 20]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Mobile Homer]]
+
{{TB|"[[Million-Dollar Abie]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|HABF09}}
−
| 349 || [[April 03]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Seven-Beer Snitch]]
+
{{TBT|376}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard376.png|250px]]}}
−
| 350 || [[April 17]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Future-Drama]]
+
{{TB|I will not leak the plot of [[The Simpsons Movie|the movie]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|"[[Regarding Margie]]"}}
−
| 351 || [[May 01]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Don't Fear the Roofer]]
+
{{TB|HABF13}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|377}}
−
| 352 || [[May 01]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Heartbroke Kid]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard377.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|Je ne parle pas français<br>''("I do not speak French.")''}}
−
| 353 || [[May 08]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[A Star Is Torn]]
+
{{TB|"[[The Monkey Suit]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|HABF14}}
−
| 354 || [[May 08]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Thank God It's Doomsday]]
+
{{TBT|378}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard378.png|250px]]}}
−
| 355 || [[May 15]], [[2005]] || A [[booger]] is not a bookmark || [[Home Away from Homer]]
+
{{TB|Have a great summer, everyone}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|"[[Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play]]"}}
−
| 356 || [[May 15]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Father, The Son & The Holy Guest Star]]
+
{{TB|HABF16}}
−
|}
+
}}
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 17)|Season 17]] ==
+
== [[Season 18]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|381}}
−
| 357 || [[September 11]], [[2005]] || Does any kid still do this anymore? (''refers to the diminishing frequency of the chalkboard gag, as well as the real-life punishment'') || [[Bonfire of the Manatees]]
+
{{TBT|[[File:Chalkboard381-InEpisode.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|'''During the episode, Skinner writes:'''<br>A baby beat me up}}
−
| 358 || [[September 18]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Girl Who Slept Too Little]]
+
{{TB|"[[Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|HABF20}}
−
| 359 || [[September 25]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Milhouse of Sand and Fog]]
+
{{TBT|383}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard383.png|250px]]}}
−
| 360 || [[November 06]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Treehouse of Horror XVI]]
+
{{TB|We are not all naked under our clothes}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|"[[G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)]]"}}
−
| 361 || [[November 13]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Marge's Son Poisoning]]
+
{{TB|HABF21}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|387}}
−
| 362 || [[November 20]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[See Homer Run]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard387.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|{{W|Frankincense}} is not [[Frankenstein|a monster]]}}
−
| 363 || [[November 27]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Last of the Red Hat Mamas]]
+
{{TB|"[[Kill Gil, Volumes I & II]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|JABF01}}
−
| 364 || [[December 11]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Italian Bob]]
+
{{TBT|390}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|[[File:Chalkboard390-inepisode.png|250px]]}}
−
| 365 || [[December 18]], [[2005]] || ''no gag'' || [[Simpsons Christmas Stories]]
+
{{TB|'''During the episode:'''<br>So long suckers}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|"[[Little Big Girl]]"}}
−
| 366 || [[January 08]], [[2006]] || I am not smarter than the [[George W. Bush|President]] || [[Homer's Paternity Coot]]
+
{{TB|JABF04}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|394}}
−
| 367 || [[January 29]], [[2006]] || [[Mrs. Krabappel|Teacher]] was not dumped&mdash;it was mutual || [[We're on the Road to D'ohwhere]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard394.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|Global Warming did not eat my homework}}
−
| 368 || [[February 26]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || [[My Fair Laddy]]
+
{{TB|"[[Homerazzi]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|JABF06}}
−
| 369 || [[March 12]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Seemingly Never-Ending Story]]
+
{{TBT|397}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard397.png|250px]]}}
−
| 370 || [[March 19]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || [[Bart Has Two Mommies]]
+
{{TB|I will not look up how much [[Edna Krabappel|teacher]] makes}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|"[[Crook and Ladder]]"}}
−
| 371 || [[March 26]], [[2006]] || I will not laminate dog doo ''(The first airing of this episode included a special [[live-action|live action]] opening with'' 'I will not eat things for money' ''as the gag.)'' || [[Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife]]
+
{{TB|JABF13}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TBT|398}}
−
| 372 || [[April 02]], [[2006]] || I will not flip the [[classroom]] upside down ''(The classroom is flipped upside down.)'' || [[Million Dollar Abie]]
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard398.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|Pearls are not oyster barf}}
−
| 373 || [[April 09]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || [[Kiss Kiss, Bang Bangalore]]
+
{{TB|"[[Stop, or My Dog Will Shoot!]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|JABF12}}
−
| 374 || [[April 23]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || [[The Wettest Stories Ever Told]]
+
}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 375 || [[April 30]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || [[Girls Just Want to Have Sums]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 376 || [[May 07]], [[2006]] || I will not leak the plot of [[The Simpsons Movie|the movie]] || [[Regarding Margie]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 377 || [[May 14]], [[2006]] || Je ne parle pas français ''("I do not speak [[French language|French]].") || [[The Monkey Suit]]
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 378 || [[May 21]], [[2006]] || Have a great summer, everyone ''(last episode of the season)'' || [[Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play]]
 
−
|}
 
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 18)|Season 18]] ==
+
== ''[[The Simpsons Movie]]'' ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|Airdate|width=110px}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Picture|width=200px}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag|width=300px}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
+
{{TBT|July 27, 2007}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TB|[[File:The Simpsons Movie chalkboard gag.png|200px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TB|I will not illegally download this movie}}
−
| 379 || [[September 10]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || "[[The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer]]"
+
}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 380 || [[September 17]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Jazzy and the Pussycats]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 381 || [[September 24]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' ''(But during the episode, Skinner writes "A baby beat me up" when Bart begins torturing Skinner by taking advantage of his peanut allergy)'' || "[[Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 382 || [[November 5]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Treehouse of Horror XVII]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 383 || [[November 12]], [[2006]] || We are not all naked under our clothes || "[[G.I. D'oh]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 384 || [[November 19]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Moe'N'a Lisa]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 385 || [[November 26]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Ice Cream of Margie (With the Light Blue Hair)]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 386 || [[December 10]], [[2006]] || ''no gag'' || "[[The Haw-Hawed Couple]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 387 || [[December 17]], [[2006]] || [[Frankincense]] is not [[Frankenstein's monster|a monster]] || "[[Kill Gil: Vols. 1 & 2]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 388 || [[January 7]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[The Wife Aquatic]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 389 || [[January 28]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Revenge is a Dish Best Served Three Times]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 390 || [[February 11]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' ''(But during the episode, Bart writes "So long suckers")''|| "[[Little Big Girl]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 391 || [[February 18]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Springfield Up]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 392 || [[March 4]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Yokel Chords]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 393 || [[March 11]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Rome-old and Juli-eh]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 394 || [[March 25]], [[2007]] || [[Global Warming]] did not eat my homework || "[[Homerazzi]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 395 || [[April 22]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Marge Gamer]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 396 || [[April 29]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[The Boys of Bummer]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 397 || [[May 6]], [[2007]] || I will not look up how much [[Mrs. Krabappel|teacher]] makes || "[[Crook and Ladder]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 398 || [[May 13]], [[2007]] || Pearls are not oyster barf || "[[Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
 
−
| 399 || [[May 20]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' ''(special 24-style opening)''|| "[[24 Minutes]]"
 
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
 
−
| 400 || [[May 20]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' ''(normal opening sequence replaced with a black screen that says "20 years ago", followed by a full showing of the [[Tracy Ullman Show]] Simpsons short "Family Portrait")'' || "[[You Kent Always Say What You Want]]"
 
−
|}
 
  
−
== [[The Simpsons (season 19)|Season 19]] ==
+
== [[Season 19]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TBT|401}}
−
|401 || [[September 23]], [[2007]] || I will not wait 20 years to make [[The Simpsons Movie|another movie]] || "[[He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs]]"
+
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard401.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|I will not wait 20 years to make [[The Simpsons Movie|another movie]]}}
−
|402 || [[September 30]], [[2007]] || [[The Wall Street Journal]] is better than ever || "[[The Homer of Seville]]"
+
{{TB|"[[He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TB|JABF20}}
−
|403 || [[October 7]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Midnight Towboy]]"
+
{{TBT|402}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:The Homer of Seville Chalkboard Gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|404 || [[October 14]], [[2007]] || I am not a [[Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation|FDIC]]-insured bank. || "[[I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings]]"
+
{{TB|{{W|The Wall Street Journal}} is better than ever}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TB|"[[The Homer of Seville]]"}}
−
|405 || [[November 4]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Treehouse of Horror XVIII]]"
+
{{TB|JABF18}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|404}}
−
|406 || [[November 11]], [[2007]] || There is no such thing as an [[iPod]]dy || "[[Little Orphan Millie]]"
+
{{TB|[[File:I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings Chalkboard Gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TB|I am not a {{W|Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation|FDIC}}-insured bank.}}
−
|407 || [[November 18]], [[2007]] || The [[Pilgrim]]s were not [[illegal alien]]s || "[[Husbands and Knives]]"
+
{{TB|"[[I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|JABF19}}
−
|408 || [[November 25]], [[2007]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Funeral for a Fiend]]"
+
{{TBT|406}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TB|[[File:Little Orphan Millie Chalkboard Gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|409 || [[December 16]], [[2007]] || The capital of [[Montana]] is not "[[Hannah Montana|Hannah]]" || "[[Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind]]"
+
{{TB|There is no such thing as an [[iPod]]dy}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|"[[Little Orphan Millie]]"}}
−
|410 || [[January 6]], [[2008]] || [[Edna Krabappel|Teacher]] did not pay too much for her condo || "[[E Pluribus Wiggum]]"
+
{{TB|JABF22}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TBT|407}}
−
|411 || [[January 27]], [[2008]] || ''no gag'' || "[[That 90's Show]]"
+
{{TB|[[File:Husbands and Knives Chalkboard Gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|The Pilgrims were not illegal aliens}}
−
|412 || [[February 17]], [[2008]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Love, Springfieldian Style]]"
+
{{TB|"[[Husbands and Knives]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TB|JABF17}}
−
|413 || [[March 2]], [[2008]] || The art teacher is fat, not pregnant || "[[The Debarted]]"
+
{{TBT|409}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind Chalkboard Gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|414 || [[March 9]], [[2008]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Dial 'N' for Nerder]]"
+
{{TB|The capital of [[Montana]] is not "{{W|Hannah Montana|Hannah}}"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TB|"[[Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind]]"}}
−
|415 || [[March 30]], [[2008]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Smoke On The Daughter]]"
+
{{TB|KABF02}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|410}}
−
|416 || [[April 13]], [[2008]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Papa Don't Leech]]"
+
{{TB|[[File:E Pluribus Wiggum Chalkboard Gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TB|[[Edna Krabappel|Teacher]] did not pay too much for her condo}}
−
|417 || [[April 27]], [[2008]] || ''A persons a person, no mater how Ralph.'' || "[[Apocalypse Cow]]"
+
{{TB|"[[E Pluribus Wiggum]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|KABF03}}
−
|418 || [[May 4]], [[2008]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Any Given Sundance]]"
+
{{TBT|413}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TB|[[File:The Debarted Chalkboard Gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|419 || [[May 11]], [[2008]] || ''This punishment is medivial.'' || "[[Mona Leaves-a]]"
+
{{TB|The art teacher is fat, not pregnant}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|"[[The Debarted]]"}}
−
|420 || [[MAy 18]], [[2008]] || ''no gag'' || "[[All About Lisa]]"
+
{{TB|KABF06}}
−
|}
+
{{TBT|417}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Apocalypse Cow (Chalkboard Gag).png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|A person's a person, no mater how [[Ralph]]}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Apocalypse Cow]]"}}
 +
{{TB|KABF10}}
 +
{{TBT|419}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Mona Leaves-a Chalkboard Gag.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|This punishment is not medieval.<br>''[in medieval writing style]''}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Mona Leaves-a]]"}}
 +
{{TB|KABF12}}
 +
}}
  
 
== [[Season 20]] ==
 
== [[Season 20]] ==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TBT|422}}
−
|421 || [[September 28]], [[2008]] || ''no gag'' || "[[Sex, Pies And Idiot Scrapes]]"
+
{{TB|[[File:Lost Verizon Chalkboard Gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|Teacher's diet is working}}
−
|422 || [[October 5]], [[2008]] || Teachers diet is working. || "[[Lost Verizon]]"
+
{{TB|"[[Lost Verizon]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TB|KABF15}}
−
|423 || [[October 19]], [[2008]] || There is no such month as Rocktober || "[[Double, Double Boy In Trouble]]"
+
{{TBT|423}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:Double, Double, Boy in Trouble Chalkboard Gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|424 || [[November 2]], [[2008]] || None || "[[Treehouse of Horror XIX]]"
+
{{TB|There is no such month as Rocktober}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TB|"[[Double, Double, Boy in Trouble]]"}}
−
|425 || [[November 9]], [[2008]] || I did not see Teacher siphoning gas. || "[[Dangerous Curves]]"
+
{{TB|KABF14}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TBT|425}}
−
|426 || [[November 16]], [[2008]] ||''No gag'' || "[[Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words]]"
+
{{TB|[[File:Dangerous Curves Chalkboard Gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TB|I did not see teacher siphoning gas}}
−
|427 || [[November 30]], [[2008]] || Prosperity is just around the corner. || "[[Mypods and Boomsticks]]"
+
{{TB|"[[Dangerous Curves]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|KABF18}}
−
|428 || [[December 7]], [[2008]] || [[Jesus]] is not mad His birthday is on [[Christmas]] || "[[The Burns and the Bees]]"
+
{{TBT|427}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TB|[[File:MyPods and Boomsticks Chalkboard Gag.png|250px]] <br /> [[File:MyPods and Boomsticks Couch Gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|429 || [[January 25]], [[2009]] || I Will Not use Permanet ink on the Chalkboard || " [[Lisa The Drama Queen]]"
+
{{TB|Prosperity is just around the corner <br /> <br /> ''Additionally, during the [[couch gag]]:'' I will not bring the chalkboard home <br /> ''(The chalkboard Bart is writing on has taken the place of the couch in the Simpsons' living room)''}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|"[[MyPods and Boomsticks]]"}}
−
|430 || [[Febuary 15]], [[2009]] || HDTV is Worth Every Cent. || "[[Take My Life, Please]]"
+
{{TB|KABF20}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
+
{{TBT|428}}
−
|431 || [[March 1]], [[2009]] || "March Madness" is Not an Excuse for Missing School || "[[How the Test Was Won]]"
+
{{TB|[[File:The Burns and the Bees Chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[Jesus]] is not mad His birthday is on [[Christmas]]}}
−
|432 || [[March 8]], [[2009]] || "I will not have fun with educational toys." || "[[No Loan Again, Naturally]]
+
{{TB|"[[The Burns and the Bees]]"}}
−
|- style="background-color" #FFF4A7"|
+
{{TB|KABF21}}
−
|433 || [[MArch 15]], [[2009]] || No gag|| ||"Gone Maggie Gone
+
{{TBT|429}}
−
|- style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
+
{{TB|[[File:Lisa the Drama Queen Chalkboard Gag.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not use permanent ink on the chalkboard}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Lisa the Drama Queen]]"}}
 +
{{TB|KABF22}}
 +
{{TBT|430}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Take My Life, Please promo.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|HDTV is worth every cent
 +
''(This was the first episode to air in HD.)''}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Take My Life, Please]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF01}}
 +
{{TBT|431}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:How the Test Was Won Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|"March Madness" is not an excuse for missing school}}
 +
{{TB|"[[How the Test Was Won]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF02}}
 +
{{TBT|432}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:No Loan Again, Naturally Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not have fun with educational toys}}
 +
{{TB|"[[No Loan Again, Naturally]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF03}}
 +
{{TBT|434}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:In the Name of the Grandfather Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Four leaf clovers are not mutant freaks}}
 +
{{TB|"[[In the Name of the Grandfather]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF11}}
 +
{{TBT|435}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Wedding for Disaster Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|My piggy bank is not entitled to TARP funds}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Wedding for Disaster]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF05}}
 +
{{TBT|437}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:The Good, the Sad, and the Drugly Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not mock teacher's outdated cell phone}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Good, the Sad, and the Drugly]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF07}}
 +
{{TBT|438}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Father Knows Worst Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Father Knows Worst]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF08}}
 +
{{TBT|441}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Coming to Homerica Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|It's '[[Facebook]]', not 'Assbook'}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Coming to Homerica]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF12}}
 +
}}
  
−
== ''The Simpsons Movie'' ==
+
==[[Season 21]]==
−
{| class="wikitable" width=100%
+
{{Table|
−
|-
+
{{TH|#}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="22" | #
+
{{TH|Image}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="117" | Airdate
+
{{TH|Gag}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" | Gag
+
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
−
! style="background-color: #FADA00" width="200" | Episode Name
+
{{TH|Code}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFF4A7"
+
{{TBT|442}}
−
| 1 || [[July 27]], [[2007]] || I will not [[Illegal downloading|illegally download]] this movie || [[The Simpsons Movie]]
+
{{TB|[[File:DSCN2656.png|300px]]}}
−
|- style="background-color:#FFFFFF"
+
{{TB|The class hamster isn't just sleeping}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homer the Whopper]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF13}}
 +
{{TBT|443}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:BGaZ - Chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Chalkboarding is not torture}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Bart Gets a "Z"]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF15}}
 +
{{TBT|444}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:S21E03 - Chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I am not allergic to long division}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Great Wife Hope]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF16}}
 +
{{TBT|446}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:The Devil Wears Nada chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I do not have the hots for my mom}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Devil Wears Nada]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF17}}
 +
{{TBT|447}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:PaG - Chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Halloween does not kick Thanksgiving's ass}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Pranks and Greens]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF18}}
 +
{{TBT|448}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Rednecks and Broomsticks Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Teachers' unions are not ruining this country}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Rednecks and Broomsticks]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF19}}
 +
{{TBT|451}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Once Upon a Time in Springfield Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|The world may end in 2012, but this show won't}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Once Upon a Time in Springfield]]"}}
 +
{{TB|LABF20}}
 +
{{TBT|456}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Stealing First Base Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|[[WWII]] could not beat up WWI}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Stealing First Base]]"}}
 +
{{TB|MABF07}}
 +
{{TBT|458}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:American History X-cellent chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Hot dogs are not bookmarks}}
 +
{{TB|"[[American History X-cellent]]"}}
 +
{{TB|MABF08}}
 +
{{TBT|459}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Chief of Hearts Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|This counts as gym and art class}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Chief of Hearts]]"}}
 +
{{TB|MABF09}}
 +
{{TBT|460}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:The Squirt and the Whale - Chalkboard gag.png|300px]][[File:The Squirt and the Whale - Alt Chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''Original airing:''' [[South Park]], we'd stand beside you if we weren't so scared<br>'''International/online version:''' Je ne suis pas français (I am not French)}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Squirt and the Whale]]"}}
 +
{{TB|MABF14}}
 +
{{TBT|462}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Moe Letter Blues Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Eating my vegetables '''IS NOT''' a Mother's Day present}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Moe Letter Blues]]"}}
 +
{{TB|MABF13}}
 +
{{TBT|463}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:The Bob Next Door Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|[[Batman]] is not 'nothing' without his utility belt}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Bob Next Door]]"}}
 +
{{TB|MABF11}}
 +
{{TBT|464}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Judge Me Tender Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|End of "[[Lost]]": It was all the dog's dream. Watch us.}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Judge Me Tender]]"}}
 +
{{TB|MABF15}}
 +
}}
  
−
[[Category:Lists]]
+
== [[Season 22]] ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Image}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
 +
{{TH|Code}}
 +
{{TBT|465}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Elementary School Musical Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|When I slept in class it was not to help {{W|Leonardo DiCaprio|Leo DiCaprio}}}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Elementary School Musical]]"}}
 +
{{TB|MABF21}}
 +
{{TBT|466}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Loan-a Lisa Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I did not see Teacher applying for welfare}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Loan-a Lisa]]"}}
 +
{{TB|MABF17}}
 +
{{TBT|467}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Chalkboard gag (MoneyBART).png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I must not write all over the walls<br>(in the meantime is written all over the walls)''}}
 +
{{TB|"[[MoneyBart]]"}}
 +
{{TB|MABF18}}
 +
{{TBT|471}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:How Munched is That Birdie in the Window Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|"A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" is as good as "A Charlie Brown Christmas"}}
 +
{{TB|"[[How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window?]]"}}
 +
{{TB|NABF02}}
 +
{{TBT|473}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Donnie Fatso Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Candy canes are not elf bones}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Donnie Fatso]]"}}
 +
{{TB|MABF19}}
 +
{{TBT|474}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Moms I'd Like to Forget Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|January is not Bart History Month}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Moms I'd Like to Forget]]"}}
 +
{{TB|NABF03}}
 +
{{TBT|476}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Homer the Father - Chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|[[Prince]] is not the son of [[Martin Luther King]]}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homer the Father]]"}}
 +
{{TB|NABF05}}
 +
{{TBT|477}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:The Blue and the Gray Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not make fun of Cupid's dink}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Blue and the Gray]]"}}
 +
{{TB|NABF06}}
 +
{{TBT|479}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:The Scorpion's Tale Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I'm not here on a spitball scholarship}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Scorpion's Tale]]"}}
 +
{{TB|NABF08}}
 +
{{TBT|480}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:A Midsummer's Nice Dream Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|"Daylight Savings" is not a failed bank}}
 +
{{TB|"[[A Midsummer's Nice Dreams]]"}}
 +
{{TB|NABF09}}
 +
{{TRsT|481|2}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Love Is a Many Strangled Thing Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not ridicule teacher's Final Four bracket}}
 +
{{TRs|"[[Love Is a Many-Strangled Thing]]"|2}}
 +
{{TRs|NABF10|2}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:LIAMST In-episode Chalkboard Gag Homer.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''In-episode (Homer):'''<br>I'm a grown man who's scared of his own son}}
 +
{{TBT|484}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Homer Scissorhands Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I do not deserve a Mother's Day gift for being "one badass mother"}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homer Scissorhands]]"}}
 +
{{TB|NABF13}}
 +
{{TRsT|485|2}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Kirsten schaal gag.jpg|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''Syndicated version:'''<br>It's [[Kristen Schaal]], not Kristen Schall}}
 +
{{TRs|"[[500 Keys]]"|2}}
 +
{{TRs|NABF14|2}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:500 Keys Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''International/online version:'''<br>Guinea Pigs should not be used as "Guinea Pigs"}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== Season 23 ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Image}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
 +
{{TH|Code}}
 +
{{TBT|488}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Bart Stops Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|It's not too early to speculate about the 2016 election}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts]]"}}
 +
{{TB|NABF17}}
 +
{{TBT|490}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Replaceable You Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|It's November 6th--How come we're not airing a Halloween show?}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Replaceable You]]"}}
 +
{{TB|NABF21}}
 +
{{TBT|494}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:The 10% Solution Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|"Caucus" is not a dirty word}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Ten-Per-Cent Solution]]"}}
 +
{{TB|PABF02}}
 +
{{TBT|495}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Holidays of Future Passed Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Cafeteria trays are not toboggans}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Holidays of Future Passed]]"}}
 +
{{TB|NABF18}}
 +
{{TBT|496}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Politically Inept Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|{{W2|The Adventures of Tintin|film|Tintin}} did not sucksuck}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson]]"}}
 +
{{TB|PABF03}}
 +
{{TBT|497}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:D'oh-cial Network Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|We <u>do</u> need no education}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The D'oh-cial Network]]"}}
 +
{{TB|PABF04}}
 +
{{TBT|498}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:MGFRTR Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|There's no proven link between raisins and boogers}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Moe Goes from Rags to Riches]]"}}
 +
{{TB|PABF05}}
 +
{{TBT|499}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Daughter Also Rises Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not replace a candy heart with a frog's heart}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Daughter Also Rises]]"}}
 +
{{TB|PABF06}}
 +
{{TRsT|500|2}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:At Long Last Leave Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''[[Milhouse]] writes:'''<br>Bart's earned a day off}}
 +
{{TRs|"[[At Long Last Leave]]"|2}}
 +
{{TRs|PABF07|2}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:At Long Last Leave chalkboard gag Outlands.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''During the episode, Bart writes on the wall in spray paint:'''<br>I ♥ the breakdown of society}}
 +
{{TRsT|504|2}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Beware My Cheating Bart Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''Original/UK airing:''' The true location of Springfield is in any state but yours}}
 +
{{TRs|"[[Beware My Cheating Bart]]"|2}}
 +
{{TRs|PABF11|2}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:Beware My Cheating Bart Alt Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''International (except UK)/online version:''' Teacher does not have to pay an "Ugly Tax"}}
 +
{{TBT|507}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Ned 'N' Edna's Blend Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Call your mother during the commercials.}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Ned 'n Edna's Blend Agenda]]"}}
 +
{{TB|PABF15}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== [[Season 24]] ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Image}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
 +
{{TH|Code}}
 +
{{TBT|509}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Moonshine River chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not wear white after Labor Day (He is wearing a white shirt)}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Moonshine River]]"}}
 +
{{TB|PABF21}}
 +
{{TBT|512}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Gone Abie Gone chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not concede the election till Karl Rove gives me permission}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Gone Abie Gone]]"}}
 +
{{TB|PABF16}}
 +
{{TBT|513}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Penny-Wiseguys chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I want to secede but don't know which state I'm in}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Penny-Wiseguys]]"}}
 +
{{TB|PABF19}}
 +
{{TBT|514}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:A Tree Grows in Springfield chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|20 more shoplifting days till Christmas}}
 +
{{TB|"[[A Tree Grows in Springfield]]"}}
 +
{{TB|PABF22}}
 +
{{TBT|517}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Homer Goes to Prep School chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Teacher did not get fat over the holidays}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homer Goes to Prep School]]"}}
 +
{{TB|RABF02}}
 +
{{TBT|518}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:A Test Before Trying chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will obey Oscar® campaign rules from now on}}
 +
{{TB|"[[A Test Before Trying]]"}}
 +
{{TB|RABF03}}
 +
{{TBT|520}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:RABF07 chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I was not nominated for "Best Spoken Swear Word"}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Love Is a Many-Splintered Thing]]"}}
 +
{{TB|RABF07}}
 +
{{TBT|523}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Black-Eyed Please chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I'm sorry I broke the blackboard. (Bart is writing with a black marker on a whiteboard)}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Black-Eyed, Please]]"}}
 +
{{TB|RABF09}}
 +
{{TBT|524}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Dark Knight Court chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Jesus's last words were not "TGIF"}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Dark Knight Court]]"}}
 +
{{TB|RABF10}}
 +
{{TBT|528}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:The Fabulous Faker Boy chalkboard gag1.png|300px]]<br>[[File:The Fabulous Faker Boy chalkboard gag2.png|300px]]<br>[[File:The Fabulous Faker Boy chalkboard gag3.png|300px]]<br>[[File:The Fabulous Faker Boy chalkboard gag4.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|This School is not falling apart (then the blackboard falls apart)}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Fabulous Faker Boy]]"}}
 +
{{TB|RABF12}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== [[Season 25]] ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Image}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
 +
{{TH|Code}}
 +
{{TBT|531}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Homerland chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|25 years and they can't come up with a new punishment.}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homerland]]"}}
 +
{{TB|RABF20}}
 +
{{TBT|532}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Treehouse of Horror XXIV promo 4.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Treehouse of Horror XXIV]]"}}
 +
{{TB|RABF16}}
 +
{{TBT|533}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Four Regrettings RIP Mrs K.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|We'll really miss you Mrs. K. (Written once, Bart is sad.)
 +
''([[Marcia Wallace]], the voice actor for Edna Krabappel, passed away nine days before this episode aired.)''}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Four Regrettings and a Funeral]]"}}
 +
{{TB|RABF18}}
 +
{{TRsT|534|2}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:YOLO Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|My School Schedule does not include a bye week.}}
 +
{{TRs|"[[YOLO]]"|2}}
 +
{{TRs|RABF22|2}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:YOLO In-Episode Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''During the episode:'''<br>I will not drop a stitch}}
 +
{{TBT|535}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Labor Pains Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Rocktober is not followed by Blowvember}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Labor Pains]]"}}
 +
{{TB|RABF19}}
 +
{{TBT|537}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Yellow Subterfuge Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will stop asking when Santa goes to the bathroom}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Yellow Subterfuge]]"}}
 +
{{TB|SABF04}}
 +
{{TBT|538}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:White Christmas Blues Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not call my teacher "Prancer" and "Vixen"}}
 +
{{TB|"[[White Christmas Blues]]"}}
 +
{{TB|SABF01}}
 +
{{TRsT|540|2}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Married to the Blob Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''Original airing:''' Judas Priest is not "Death Metal"}}
 +
{{TRs|"[[Married to the Blob]]"|2}}
 +
{{TRs|SABF03|2}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:Married to the Blob Chalkboard Gag version 2.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''International/online airing:''' If you haven't broken your Christmas presents yet, you're not trying}}
 +
{{TBT|542}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Diggs - Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|A bracket-style tournament of characters with Homer and Jasper in the finals}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Diggs]]"}}
 +
{{TB|SABF08}}
 +
{{TBT|544}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:TWoHC - Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|My dad's already drunk for St. Patrick's.}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Winter of His Content]]"}}
 +
{{TB|SABF09}}
 +
{{TRsT|549|2}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:WtEWBE - Chalkboard Gag (TV airings).jpg|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''Original/Television broadcast airing:'''April Showers Do Not Bring Matt Lauers"}}
 +
{{TRs|"[[What to Expect When Bart's Expecting]]"|2}}
 +
{{TRs|SABF14|2}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:WtEWBE - Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''International/online airing:''' You can't play April Fool's jokes on April 27th}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== [[Season 26]] ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Image}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
 +
{{TH|Code}}
 +
{{TBT|553}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:CitD - Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Spoiler Alert: Unfortunately, my Dad Doesn't Die}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Clown in the Dumps]]"}}
 +
{{TB|SABF20}}
 +
{{TBT|561}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:IWBHFC - Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Reindeer Meat Does not taste like Chicken}}
 +
{{TB|"[[I Won't Be Home for Christmas]]"}}
 +
{{TB|TABF03}}
 +
{{TBT|563}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:BNF - Chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Snowmen don't have carrot penises}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Bart's New Friend]]"}}
 +
{{TB|TABF05}}
 +
{{TBT|566}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:MFL - Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Pixel art is not real art}}
 +
{{TB|"[[My Fare Lady]]"}}
 +
{{TB|TABF07}}
 +
{{TBT|571}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:TKAAF - Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''[[Lisa]] writes:'''<br>I will not pay my sister to do my punishment.}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Kids Are All Fight]]"}}
 +
{{TB|TABF12}}
 +
{{TBT|574}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Mathlete's Feat promo 3.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''During the episode:'''<br>I will not fight the future}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Mathlete's Feat]]"}}
 +
{{TB|TABF16}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== [[Season 27]] ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Image}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
 +
{{TH|Code}}
 +
{{TBT|587}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4 - Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Hershey kisses do not drop from Cupid's butt}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4]]"}}
 +
{{TB|VABF07}}
 +
{{TBT|591}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:TBC chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|If [[Villanova]] doesn't win we lose everything}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Burns Cage]]"}}
 +
{{TB|VABF10}}
 +
{{TBT|592}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:HLGHMB chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''[[Skinner]] writes:'''<br>Never lose a bet to Bart Simpson}}
 +
{{TB|"[[How Lisa Got Her Marge Back]]"}}
 +
{{TB|VABF11}}
 +
{{TBT|593}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Fland Canyon chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Dad swears he'll get his taxes in soon}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Fland Canyon]]"}}
 +
{{TB|VABF12}}
 +
{{TBT|594}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:TCourierWL chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Dirty clothes are not a Mother's Day gift}}
 +
{{TB|"[[To Courier with Love]]"}}
 +
{{TB|VABF14}}
 +
{{TBT|596}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Orange Is the New Yellow Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Milhouse does not live below the puberty line}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Orange Is the New Yellow]]"}}
 +
{{TB|VABF15}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== [[Season 28]] ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Image}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
 +
{{TH|Code}}
 +
{{TBT|597}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:MBFC chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|This arm needs Tommy John surgery}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus]]"}}
 +
{{TB|VABF20}}
 +
{{TBT|598}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:FaF chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will stop losing 50% of my NFL lead-in}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Friends and Family]]"}}
 +
{{TB|VABF18}}
 +
{{TBT|601}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:TButC chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|The first episode of the second 600}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Trust but Clarify]]"}}
 +
{{TB|VABF21}}
 +
{{TBT|603}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:HWW chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Being right sucks
 +
''(This was the first episode to air after the 2016 presidential election, which [[Donald Trump]] won, a result predicted in "[[Bart to the Future]]")''}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Havana Wild Weekend]]"}}
 +
{{TB|VABF19}}
 +
{{TBT|604}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:DB chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will watch all 600 episodes without sleeping}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Dad Behavior]]"}}
 +
{{TB|WABF01}}
 +
{{TBT|610}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:FTZ chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|If we're so good at predicting how come my dad bet on [[Atlanta]]}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Fatzcarraldo]]"}}
 +
{{TB|WABF07}}
 +
{{TBT|612}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:KKer chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|We're the only house where the Christmas tree is still up}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Kamp Krustier]]"}}
 +
{{TB|WABF09}}
 +
{{TRsT|614|3}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:AFW chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Studying is not "appropriating nerd culture"}}
 +
{{TRs|"[[A Father's Watch]]"|3}}
 +
{{TRs|WABF11|3}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:AFW chalkboard in-episode Lisa.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''In-episode (Lisa):'''<br>Everybody's a winner}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:AFW chalkboard in-episode Bart.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''In-episode (Bart):'''<br>I did nothing wrong this week}}
 +
{{TBT|616}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:LFMG chalkboard in-episode Grampa.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''In-episode (Grampa):'''<br>I just wrote one and I'm already tired}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Looking for Mr. Goodbart]]"}}
 +
{{TB|WABF13}}
 +
{{TBT|618}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:DogT - chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Thank you for 28 great years... Taylor Swift}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Dogtown]]"}}
 +
{{TB|WABF15}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== [[Season 29]] ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Image}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
 +
{{TH|Code}}
 +
{{TBT|621}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Whistler's Father Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|It's unfair to judge a [[Donald Trump|president]] on his first 300 days}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Whistler's Father]]"}}
 +
{{TB|WABF16}}
 +
{{TBT|623}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Grampy Can Ya Hear Me Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Hooligan is not a profession}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Grampy Can Ya Hear Me]]"}}
 +
{{TB|WABF19}}
 +
{{TBT|624}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:The Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to Be Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not ask my guidance counselor why he couldn't get a better job}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to Be]]"}}
 +
{{TB|WABF20}}
 +
{{TBT|625}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Singin' in the Lane promo 3.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|We do not live in our own pee}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Singin' in the Lane]]"}}
 +
{{TB|WABF21}}
 +
{{TBT|627}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Gone Boy Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Snow Angels are not frozen hobos}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Gone Boy]]"}}
 +
{{TB|XABF02}}
 +
{{TBT|629}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:FrinkGetsTesty Chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''[[Homer]] writes:''' "Strangling is not an effective parenting tool"}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Frink Gets Testy]]"}}
 +
{{TB|XABF04}}
 +
{{TBT|632}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Fears of a Clown chalkboard 1.png|300px]]<br>[[File:Fears of a Clown chalkboard 2.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Bart writes "This is the last episode", then flips over the blackboard, and "April Fool" is written on it.}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Fears of a Clown]]"}}
 +
{{TB|XABF08}}
 +
{{TBT|633}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:NGRGU Chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|{{W2|April Showers|2009 film}} did not date the President}}
 +
{{TB|"[[No Good Read Goes Unpunished]]"}}
 +
{{TB|XABF07}}
 +
{{TBT|635}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:XABF11 chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''[[Homer]] writes:''' "I will not bet with [[Bart]] on the {{W|Final four}}"}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Lisa Gets the Blues]]"}}
 +
{{TB|XABF11}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== [[Season 30]] ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Image}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
 +
{{TH|Code}}
 +
{{TBT|645}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:FRWL In-episode Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''In-episode (on the street):'''<br> I will not order pregnant rats}}
 +
{{TB|"[[From Russia Without Love]]"}}
 +
{{TB|XABF20}}
 +
{{TBT|648}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Daddicus Finch Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|My pre-[[Christmas]] behavior really helps the coal industry}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Daddicus Finch]]"}}
 +
{{TB|YABF01}}
 +
{{TBT|649}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:'Tis the 30th Season Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|The fat man who works one night a year is my dad}}
 +
{{TB|"[['Tis the 30th Season]]"}}
 +
{{TB|YABF02}}
 +
{{TBT|650}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Mad About the Toy Blackboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|My new year's resolution was to quit school}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Mad About the Toy]]"}}
 +
{{TB|YABF03}}
 +
{{TBT|654}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:101 Mitigations Chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Chili fries do not go in like a lamb and out like a lion}}
 +
{{TB|"[[101 Mitigations]]"}}
 +
{{TB|YABF07}}
 +
{{TBT|655}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:YABF08 chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Bart draws a bracket tournament of his favorite person, with [[Krusty]] winning}}
 +
{{TB|"[[I Want You (She's So Heavy)]]"}}
 +
{{TB|YABF08}}
 +
{{TBT|658}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Girl's in the Band Chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I am not a grandmother}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Girl's in the Band]]"}}
 +
{{TB|YABF11}}
 +
{{TBT|659}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'oh Chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not write "Audit please" on [[Homer]]'s tax return}}
 +
{{TB|"[[I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'oh]]"}}
 +
{{TB|YABF12}}
 +
{{TBT|660}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:D'oh Canada Chalkboard gag 1.png|300px]][[File:D'oh Canada Chalkboard gag 2.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Bart writes "Haw Haw!" on it, but then hits the blackboard, that turning around reveals Nelson attached to it with tape}}
 +
{{TB|"[[D'oh Canada]]"}}
 +
{{TB|YABF14}}
 +
{{TBT|662}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:CBHP In-episode Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]][[File:CBHP In-episode Chalkboard Gag (Marge).png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''In-episode:'''<br>I will not shirk my responsibilities (also written by [[Marge]])}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion]]"}}
 +
{{TB|YABF16}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== [[Season 31]] ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Image}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
 +
{{TH|Code}}
 +
{{TBT|668}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Marge the Lumberjill Chalkboard Gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Daylight savings isn't something I can spend}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Marge the Lumberjill]]"}}
 +
{{TB|ZABF02}}
 +
{{TBT|671}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:TTWHTFM Chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|[[Todd]] writes "Idle hands are the [[Devil]]'s tools" with two hands.}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Todd, Todd, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?]]"}}
 +
{{TB|ZABF04}}
 +
{{TBT|673}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Hail to the Teeth chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Teacher spent New Year's Eve at home by choice}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Hail to the Teeth]]"}}
 +
{{TB|ZABF05}}
 +
{{TBT|678}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ZABF11 chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|[[Lisa]] writes "Bart is at a Doctor's appointment"}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Better Off Ned]]"}}
 +
{{TB|ZABF11}}
 +
{{TBT|680}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:YABF13 chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|"School Online", written on the [[Springfield Elementary School|school]] blackboard}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Incredible Lightness of Being a Baby]]"}}
 +
{{TB|YABF13}}
 +
{{TBT|681}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ZABf12 chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|[[Homer]] writes "How did the boy get me to do this?" with [[Bart]] watching}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Warrin' Priests: Part One]]"}}
 +
{{TB|ZABF12}}
 +
{{TBT|682}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:ZABF13 chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will stop reminding [[Seymour Skinner|the principal]] I have a later bedtime than he does}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Warrin' Priests: Part Two]]"}}
 +
{{TB|ZABF13}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== [[Season 32]] ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Image}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Episode|width=20%}}
 +
{{TH|Code}}
 +
{{TBT|693}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Sorry Not Sorry chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not put laxatives in Santa's cookies}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Sorry Not Sorry]]"}}
 +
{{TB|QABF01}}
 +
{{TBT|696}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:QABF05 chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will never be a [[Edna Krabappel|teacher]]'s pet<br>(During the episode.)}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Diary Queen]]"}}
 +
{{TB|QABF05}}
 +
{{TBT|705}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:QABF13 chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not take advantage of [[Milhouse]]<br>Written by Milhouse while [[Bart]] escapes through the window.<br>(During the episode, on [[Terrance]]'s evidence board.)}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Man from G.R.A.M.P.A.]]"}}
 +
{{TB|QABF13}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== Season 33 ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Image}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Episode}}
 +
{{TH|Code}}
 +
{{TBT|709}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Treehouse of Horror XXXII Chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''During the episode:'''<br>I hate rhyming couplets}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Treehouse of Horror XXXII]]"}}
 +
{{TB|QABF16}}
 +
{{TBT|724}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:My Octopus and a Teacher chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''During the episode:'''<br>I will not express my feelings through chaos}}
 +
{{TB|"[[My Octopus and a Teacher]]"}}
 +
{{TB|UABF11}}
 +
{{TBT|726}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Marge the Meanie chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''During the end credits:'''<br>I will not violate the law of entropy}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Marge the Meanie]]"}}
 +
{{TB|UABF15}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== Season 34 ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Image}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Episode}}
 +
{{TH|Code}}
 +
{{TBT|750}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:OABF13 chalkboard gag.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not try to cram 750 characters into the opening credits...}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Homer's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass]]"}}
 +
{{TB|OABF13}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== Season 36 ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Image}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Episode}}
 +
{{TH|Code}}
 +
{{TBT|774}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Women in Shorts promo 7.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|[[Lisa]] writes "I will not get detention just to practice cursive", then proceeds to get out of school with her bike.}}
 +
{{TB|"[[Women in Shorts]]"}}
 +
{{TB|35ABF17}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== [[List of specials|Specials]] ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|Airdate|width=150px}}
 +
{{TH|Picture}}
 +
{{TH|Gag|width=300px}}
 +
{{TH|Special|width=300px}}
 +
{{TBT|September 28, 2014}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:The Simpsons Guy Chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''During the episode:''' I will not think about Bart anymore (written by [[Stewie Griffin]])}}
 +
{{TB|"[[The Simpsons Guy]]"}}
 +
{{TBT|October 13, 2016}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:JKL - Chalkboard.png|300px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not make celebrities read mean tweets}}
 +
{{TB|''[[Jimmy Kimmel Live!]]''}}
 +
{{TBT|April 22, 2022}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:No image.png|150px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''In the credits:''' I will learn to prank my sister (written by {{Ch|Finneas O'Connell}})}}
 +
{{TB|"[[When Billie Met Lisa]]"}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== Comics ==
 +
=== ''{{ap|Simpsons Illustrated|Welsh Publishing Group, Inc.}}'' ===
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#|width=20px}}
 +
{{TH|Release date|width=110px}}
 +
{{TH|Picture|width=200px}}
 +
{{TH|Gag|width=300px}}
 +
{{TH|Comic story|width=300px}}
 +
{{TBT|1}}
 +
{{TB|April 4, 1991}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Simpsonsillustrated1.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not read this magazine in class}}
 +
{{TB|N/A (front cover)}}
 +
{{TBT|6}}
 +
{{TB|Summer 1992}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Dial "M" for Moe chalkboard gag.png|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will never get anywhere by drawing crude cartoons}}
 +
{{TB|[[Dial "M" for Moe]]}}
 +
{{TBT|8}}
 +
{{TB|Winter 1992}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:The Simpsons Return to Slander Chalkboard.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|The armpit is not a musical instrument}}
 +
{{TB|''[[Return to Slander]]''}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
=== ''[[Simpsons Comics]]'' ===
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#|width=20px}}
 +
{{TH|Release date|width=110px}}
 +
{{TH|Picture|width=200px}}
 +
{{TH|Gag|width=300px}}
 +
{{TH|Comic story|width=300px}}
 +
{{TBT|1}}
 +
{{TB|November 1993}}
 +
{{TB|}}
 +
{{TB|I will not exaggerate my father's weight problem}}
 +
{{TB|''[[The Amazing Colossal Homer]]''}}
 +
{{TBT|3}}
 +
{{TB|March 1994}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:The Perplexing Puzzle of Springfield Puma.png|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not run amok while Principal Skinner is away}}
 +
{{TB|''[[The Perplexing Puzzle of the Springfield Puma]]''}}
 +
{{TBT|12}}
 +
{{TB|September 1995}}
 +
{{TB|}}
 +
{{TB|'''A soldier of Skinner writes'''<br>I will not practice Communist idealogy}}
 +
{{TB|''[[White-Knuckled War Stories: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Grunt!]]''}}
 +
{{TBT|75}}
 +
{{TB|October 2002}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:...The Permanent Record Room chalkboard.png|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not blame cause and effect for my juvenile delinquency}}
 +
{{TB|''[[...The Permanent Record Room!]]''}}
 +
{{TRsT|123|2}}
 +
{{TRs|October 2006|2}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Bobbing For Vengeance 1chalkboard.png|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not watch TV in class}}
 +
{{TRs|''[[Bobbing for Vengeance]]''|2}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:Bobbing For Vengeance 2 chalkboard.png|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not {{color|FF0000|survive the school year}}}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
=== {{BSC}} ===
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#|width=20px}}
 +
{{TH|Release date|width=110px}}
 +
{{TH|Picture|width=200px}}
 +
{{TH|Gag|width=300px}}
 +
{{TH|Comic story|width=300px}}
 +
{{TBT|28}}
 +
{{TB|February 2006}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Lisa the Vampire Croaker Chalkboard.png|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Wienerful is not a real word}}
 +
{{TB|''[[Lisa the Vampire Croaker]]''}}
 +
{{TBT|99}}
 +
{{TB|November 2015}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Back Words Chalkboard.png|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I Will Do Better Tomorrow}}
 +
{{TB|''[[Back Words]]''}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== Books ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#|width=20px}}
 +
{{TH|Release date|width=110px}}
 +
{{TH|Picture|width=200px}}
 +
{{TH|Gag|width=300px}}
 +
{{TH|Books|width=300px}}
 +
{{TBT|}}
 +
{{TB|July 31, 1991}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:The Simpsons Magic Paint and Colour Book Chalkboard.png|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not juggle food in the cafeteria}}
 +
{{TB|''[[The Simpsons Magic Paint and Colour Book ‎]]''}}
 +
{{TBT|}}
 +
{{TB|June 12, 2007}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Bart Blackboard Postcard.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Snail mail is not dead}}
 +
{{TB|''[[Greetings from the Simpsons (2007)]]''}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== Products ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#|width=20px}}
 +
{{TH|Release date|width=110px}}
 +
{{TH|Picture|width=200px}}
 +
{{TH|Gag|width=300px}}
 +
{{TH|Product|width=300px}}
 +
{{TBT|}}
 +
{{TB|}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Bart Simpson Talking Alarm Clock.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Underwear should be worn on the inside<br>Mud is not one of the four food groups<br>I will not eat things for money<br>Funny noises are not funny<br>I will not sell school property<br>I will not charge admission to the bathroom}}
 +
{{TB|Bart Simpson Talking Alarm Clock}}
 +
{{TBT|}}
 +
{{TB|1990}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:School Kit.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not throw paper planes in class}}
 +
{{TB|The Simpsons School Kit}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== Adverts ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|Picture|width=200px}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Advert}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:400th episode ad chalkboard gag.png|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not take part in shameless commercial promotion.}}
 +
{{TB|Sky 1 400th episode ad}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== Calendar ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|Picture|width=200px}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Note}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:1992 Calendar chalkboard gag.png|250px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not belch the national anthem}}
 +
{{TB|[[The Simpsons 1992 Fun Calendar]], recycled from "[[Principal Charming]]"}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:The Simpsons 1994 Fun Calendar Gag.png|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not tell a lie}}
 +
{{TB|[[The Simpsons 1994 Fun Calendar]]}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:The Simpsons 2010 Mini Calendar Gag.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will be a better principal and son}}
 +
{{TB|Written by [[Principal Skinner]] in [[The Simpsons Calendar 2010]]}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:The Simpsons Personalized Calendar Gag.png|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|''Name here'' is not wasting the watching prime-time animated cartoons}}
 +
{{TB|Name here is a name that is personalized for the calendar}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== Trading cards ==
 +
=== ''[[The Simpsons Topps]]'' ===
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|#}}
 +
{{TH|Picture}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TBT|1}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 01.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Biting is unsanitary and rude}}
 +
{{TBT|2}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 02.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not belch the national anthem}}
 +
{{TBT|3}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 03.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not encourage others to fly}}
 +
{{TBT|4}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 04.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Giving people wedgies is not clever}}
 +
{{TBT|5}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 05.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not do anything bad ever again}}
 +
{{TBT|6}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 06.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not drive the principal's car}}
 +
{{TBT|7}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 07.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will spend my time productively}}
 +
{{TBT|8}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 08.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Tar is not a plaything}}
 +
{{TBT|9}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 09.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not lie, cheat, or spit}}
 +
{{TBT|10}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 10.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom}}
 +
{{TBT|11}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 11.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not add to our nation's problems}}
 +
{{TBT|12}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 12.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Krusty the Clown is not God}}
 +
{{TBT|13}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 13.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Hamsters do not eat onion rings}}
 +
{{TBT|14}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 14.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not trade pants with others}}
 +
{{TBT|15}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 15.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not do that thing with my tongue}}
 +
{{TBT|16}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 16.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not undermine traditional American values}}
 +
{{TBT|17}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 17.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|Cursing is a crutch}}
 +
{{TBT|18}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 18.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I am not a 32 year old woman}}
 +
{{TBT|19}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 19.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment}}
 +
{{TBT|20}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 20.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not sell school property}}
 +
{{TBT|21}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 21.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not get very far with this attitude}}
 +
{{TBT|22}}
 +
{{TB|[[File:Topps Chalkboard 22.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not overestimate my own popularity}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== Video games/Applications ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|Picture|width=200px}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Video game/Application}}
 +
{{TH|Note}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:Bart's House of Weirdness chalkboard 1.png]]}}
 +
{{TB|I am not a 32 year old woman}}
 +
{{TRs|''[[The Simpsons: Bart's House of Weirdness]]''|4}}
 +
{{TB|Reused from the episode "Dead Putting Society".}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:Bart's House of Weirdness chalkboard 2.png]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not call my teacher hot cakes}}
 +
{{TB|Reused from the episode "Homer's Night Out".}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:Bart's House of Weirdness chalkboard 3.png]]}}
 +
{{TB|I will not skateboard in the halls}}
 +
{{TB|Reused from the episode "Homer's Odyssey".}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:Bart's House of Weirdness chalkboard 4.png]]}}
 +
{{TB|Tar is not a plaything}}
 +
{{TB|Reused from the episode "Simpson and Delilah".}}
 +
{{TBT|}}
 +
{{TB|I will not burp in class.}}
 +
{{TB|''[[The Simpsons Screen Saver]]''}}
 +
{{TB|At one point, the gag is written "I will not burp u", before the "u" is rubbed out and replaced with "i".<br>Reused from the episode "There's No Disgrace Like Home".}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:Simpsons Road Rage chalkboard.png|320px]]}}
 +
{{TB|This is not a clue... or is it?}}
 +
{{TB|''[[The Simpsons Road Rage]]''}}
 +
{{TB|Reused from the episode "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)".}}
 +
{{TBT|}}
 +
{{TBT|TBA}}
 +
{{TB|I will not sell fake cheat codes}}
 +
{{TRs|''[[The Simpsons Game]]''|9}}
 +
{{TB|}}
 +
{{TBT|TBA}}
 +
{{TB|I will not sell real cheat codes}}
 +
{{TB|}}
 +
{{TBT|TBA}}
 +
{{TB|I will not switch rating labels}}
 +
{{TB|}}
 +
{{TBT|TBA}}
 +
{{TB|I will not use abbrev.}}
 +
{{TB|Reused from the episode "Another Simpsons Clip Show"}}
 +
{{TBT|TBA}}
 +
{{TB|I will not encourage others to fly}}
 +
{{TB|Reused from the episode "Bart Gets an "F""}}
 +
{{TBT|TBA}}
 +
{{TB|Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough}}
 +
{{TB|Reused from the episode "Fear of Flying"}}
 +
{{TBT|TBA}}
 +
{{TB|There was no Roman god named "Fartacus"}}
 +
{{TB|Reused from the episode "Realty Bites"}}
 +
{{TBT|TBA}}
 +
{{TB|I cannot hire a substitute student}}
 +
{{TB|Reused from the episode "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge"}}
 +
{{TBT|TBA}}
 +
{{TB|A fire drill does not demand a fire}}
 +
{{TB|Reused from the episode "The Canine Mutiny"}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
== Other ==
 +
=== Table Reading Room ===
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{TH|Picture|width=200px}}
 +
{{TH|Gag}}
 +
{{TH|Note}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:I Will Turn off my Cell Phone at Table Reads.jpg|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|I Will Turn off my Cell Phone at Table Reads}}
 +
{{TB|It is located outside the room where the table reads for the series are done.}}
 +
}}
 +
 
 +
{{Visual gags}}
 +
 
 +
[[Category:Opening sequence gags| ]]
 +
[[Category:Lists|Chalkboard gags]]
 +
[[sv:Lista över svarta tavlan-skämt]]

Latest revision as of 19:51, November 11, 2024

The following is a list of chalkboard gags seen on The Simpsons.

Season 1[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
2 Bart the Genius (Chalkboard gag).png I will not waste chalk "Bart the Genius" 7G02
3 Homer's Odyssey (Chalkboard gag).png I will not skateboard in the halls "Homer's Odyssey" 7G03
4 There's No Disgrace Like Home (Chalkboard gag).png I will not burp in class "There's No Disgrace Like Home" 7G04
6 ChalkboardGagS1E06.png I will not instigate revolution "Moaning Lisa" 7G06
7 ChalkboardGagS1E07.png I will not draw naked ladies in class "The Call of the Simpsons" 7G09
8 ChalkboardGagS1E08.png I did not see Elvis "The Telltale Head" 7G07
10 ChalkboardGagS1E10.png I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" "Homer's Night Out" 7G10
11 ChalkboardGagS1E11.png Garlic gum is not funny "The Crepes of Wrath" 7G13
12 Krusty Gets Busted (Chalkboard gag).png They are laughing at me, not with me "Krusty Gets Busted" 7G12
13 Some Enchanted Evening (Chalkboard gag).png I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom "Some Enchanted Evening" 7G01

Season 2[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
14 Chalkboard gag (Bart Gets an "F").png I will not encourage others to fly "Bart Gets an "F"" 7F03
I Will Not Fake My Way Through Life (Bart Gets an F).png During the episode:
I will not fake my way through life
15 ChalkboardGag7F02.png Tar is not a plaything "Simpson and Delilah" 7F02
17 ChalkboardGag7F01.png I will not Xerox my butt "Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish" 7F01
No image.png Alternate chalkboard gag aired on June 2, 1992 rerun
It's 'potato', not 'potatoe'
18 ChalkboardGag7F05.png I will not trade pants with others "Dancin' Homer" 7F05
19 ChalkboardGag7F08.png I am not a 32 year old woman "Dead Putting Society" 7F08
20 ChalkboardGag7F07.png I will not do that thing with my tongue "Bart vs. Thanksgiving" 7F07
21 ChalkboardGag7F06.png I will not drive the principal's car "Bart the Daredevil" 7F06
22 ChalkboardGag7F09.png I will not pledge allegiance to Bart "Itchy & Scratchy & Marge" 7F09
23 ChalkboardGag7F10.png I will not sell school property "Bart Gets Hit by a Car" 7F10
24 ChalkboardGag7F11.png I will not cut corners
(This is written for 3 lines. The remaining lines are all "ditto" quotation marks.) 		"One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish" 7F11
25 ChalkboardGag7F12.png I will not get very far with this attitude "The Way We Was" 7F12
26 ChalkboardGag7F13.png I will not make flatulent noises in class "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment" 7F13
27 ChalkboardGag7F15.png I will not belch the national anthem "Principal Charming" 7F15
28 ChalkboardGag7F16.png I will not sell land in Florida "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" 7F16
29 ChalkboardGag7F14.png I will not sell school property "Bart's Dog Gets an "F"" 7F14
30 ChalkboardGag7F17.png I will not grease the monkey bars "Old Money" 7F17
31 ChalkboardGag7F18.png I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment "Brush with Greatness" 7F18
33 ChalkboardGag7F20.png I will not do anything bad ever again "The War of the Simpsons" 7F20
34 ChalkboardGag7F21.png I will not show off
(This was written in Blackletter.) 		"Three Men and a Comic Book" 7F21
35 ChalkboardGag7F22.png I will not sleep through my education "Blood Feud" 7F22

Season 3[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
36 ChalkboardGag7F24.png I am not a dentist "Stark Raving Dad" 7F24
37 ChalkboardGag8F01.png Spitwads are not free speech "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington" 8F01
38 ChalkboardGag7F23.png Nobody likes sunburn slappers "When Flanders Failed" 7F23
39 ChalkboardGag8F03.png High explosives and school don't mix "Bart the Murderer" 8F03
Chalkboard Bart the Murderer in-episode.png During the episode:
I will not bribe Principal Skinner
40 ChalkboardGag8F04.png I will not squeak chalk
(Bart makes the chalk squeak as he writes this.) 		"Homer Defined" 8F04
41 ChalkboardGag8F05.png I will finish what I sta
(written only once) 		"Like Father, Like Clown" 8F05
43 ChalkboardGag8F02.png "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender "Lisa's Pony" 8F06
44 ChalkboardGag8F06.png I will not fake rabies "Saturdays of Thunder" 8F07
45 ChalkboardGag8F07.png Underwear should be worn on the inside "Flaming Moe's" 8F08
46 ChalkboardGag8F08.png The Christmas Pageant does not stink "Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk" 8F09
47 ChalkboardGag8F09.png I will not torment the emotionally frail "I Married Marge" 8F10
48 ChalkboardGag8F11.png I will not carve gods "Radio Bart" 8F11
50 ChalkboardGag8F14.png I will not spank others "Homer Alone" 8F14
52 ChalkboardGag8F13.png I will not aim for the head "Homer at the Bat" 8F13
53 ChalkboardGag8F15.png I will not barf unless I'm sick "Separate Vocations" 8F15
Separate Vocations episode gag.png During the episode:
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
54 ChalkboardGag8F17.png I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge "Dog of Death" 8F17
55 ChalkboardGag8F19.png I will not conduct my own fire drills "Colonel Homer" 8F19
56 ChalkboardGag8F20.png Funny noises are not funny "Black Widower" 8F20
57 ChalkboardGag8F21.png I will not spin the turtle "The Otto Show" 8F21
58 ChalkboardGag8F122.png I will not snap bras "Bart's Friend Falls in Love" 8F22
59 ChalkboardGag8F23.png I will not fake seizures "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?" 8F23

Season 4[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
60 ChalkboardGag8F24.png This punishment is not boring and pointless "Kamp Krusty" 8F24
61 ChalkboardGag8F18.png My name is not "Dr. Death" "A Streetcar Named Marge" 8F18
62 ChalkboardGag9F01.png I will not defame New Orleans

(Done as a response to "A Streetcar Named Marge", which created controversy in New Orleans from a song in said episode)

"Homer the Heretic" 9F01
63 ChalkboardGag9F02.png I will not prescribe medication "Lisa the Beauty Queen" 9F02
65 ChalkboardGag9F03.png I will not bury the new kid "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie" 9F03
MargeBlackboard.png During the episode, Marge writes:
I will try to raise a better child
66 ChalkboardGag9F05.png I will not teach others to fly "Marge Gets a Job" 9F05
67 ChalkboardGag9F06.png I will not bring sheep to class "New Kid on the Block" 9F06
68 ChalkboardGag9F07.png A burp is not an answer "Mr. Plow" 9F07
69 ChalkboardGag9F08.png Teacher is not a leper "Lisa's First Word" 9F08
70 ChalkboardGag9F09.png Coffee is not for kids
(Each line becomes less legible and more scrawled) 		"Homer's Triple Bypass" 9F09
71 ChalkboardGag9F10.png I will not eat things for money "Marge vs. the Monorail" 9F10
72 ChalkboardGag9F11.png I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call "Selma's Choice" 9F11
73 ChalkboardGag9F12.png The principal's toupée is not a frisbee "Brother from the Same Planet" 9F12
74 ChalkboardGag9F13.png I will not call the principal "spud head" "I Love Lisa" 9F13
75 ChalkboardGag9F14.png Goldfish don't bounce "Duffless" 9F14
76 ChalkboardGag9F15.png Mud is not one of the 4 food groups "Last Exit to Springfield" 9F15
77 ChalkboardGag9F17.png No one is interested in my underpants "So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show" 9F17
78 ChalkboardGag9F16.png I will not sell miracle cures "The Front" 9F16
79 ChalkboardGag9F18.png I will return the seeing-eye dog "Whacking Day" 9F18
80 ChalkboardGag9F20.png I do not have diplomatic immunity "Marge in Chains" 9F20
81 ChalkboardGag9F19.png I will not charge admission to the bathroom "Krusty Gets Kancelled" 9F19

Season 5[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
82 Homer's Barbershop Quartet - chalkboard gag.png I will never win an Emmy "Homer's Barbershop Quartet" 9F21
83 Cape Feare - chalkboard gag.png The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy "Cape Feare" 9F22
90 The Last Temptation of Homer - chalkboard gag.png All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy "The Last Temptation of Homer" 1F07
91 $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling) - chalkboard gag.png I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause "$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)" 1F08
92 Homer the Vigilante - chalkboard gag.png I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers "Homer the Vigilante" 1F09
93 Bart Gets Famous - chalkboard gag.png My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man "Bart Gets Famous" 1F11
94 Homer and Apu - chalkboard gag.png I will not go near the kindergarten turtle "Homer and Apu" 1F10
97 Homer Loves Flanders - chalkboard gag.png I am not delightfully saucy "Homer Loves Flanders" 1F14
98 Bart Gets an Elephant - chalkboard gag.png Organ transplants are best left to the professionals "Bart Gets an Elephant" 1F15
99 Burns' Heir - chalkboard gag.png The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan" "Burns' Heir" 1F16
100 Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song - chalkboard gag.png I will not celebrate meaningless milestones

(This was the 100th episode aired.)

"Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song" 1F18
101 The Boy Who Knew Too Much - chalkboard gag.png There are plenty of businesses like show business "The Boy Who Knew Too Much" 1F19
102 Lady Bouvier's Lover - chalkboard gag.png I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball "Lady Bouvier's Lover" 1F21
103 Secrets of a Successful Marriage - chalkboard gag.png Five days is not too long to wait for a gun "Secrets of a Successful Marriage" 1F20

Season 6[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
104 Chalkboard104.png Beans are neither a fruit nor musical "Bart of Darkness" 1F22
105 Chalkboard105.png No one is interested in my underpants "Lisa's Rival" 1F17
106 Chalkboard106.png I will not use abbrev. "Another Simpsons Clip Show" 2F33
107 Chalkboard107.png I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis, Jr. "Itchy & Scratchy Land" 2F01
110 Chalkboard110.png I will not send lard through the mail "Bart's Girlfriend" 2F04
111 Chalkboard111.png I will not dissect things unless instructed "Lisa on Ice" 2F05
112 Chalkboard112.png I will not whittle hall passes out of soap "Homer Badman" 2F06
113 Chalkboard113.png My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy" 2F07
114 Chalkboard114.png Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough "Fear of Flying" 2F08
115 Chalkboard115.png Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal "Homer the Great" 2F09
116 Chalkboard116.png 'Bagman' is not a legitimate career choice "And Maggie Makes Three" 2F10
117 Chalkboard117.png Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does "Bart's Comet" 2F11
118 Chalkboard118.png Next time it could be me on the scaffolding "Homie the Clown" 2F12
119 Bart vs. Australia chalkboard gag.png I will not hang donuts on my person "Bart vs. Australia" 2F13
120 Chalkboard120.png I will remember to take my medication "Homer vs. Patty and Selma" 2F14
122 Chalkboard122.png I will not strut around like I own the place "Lisa's Wedding" 2F15
123 2F18 chalkboard gag.png The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds" 2F18
124 Chalkboard124.png I do not have power of attorney over first graders "The PTA Disbands" 2F19
125 Chalkboard125.png Nerve gas is not a toy "'Round Springfield" 2F32
126 Chalkboard126.png I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface "The Springfield Connection" 2F21
127 Chalkboard127.png The First Amendment does not cover burping "Lemon of Troy" 2F22
128 Chalkboard128.png This is not a clue... or is it? "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)" 2F16

Season 7[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
129 Chalkboard129.png I will not complain about the solution when I hear it "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)" 2F20
130 Chalkboard130.png "Bewitched" does not promote Satanism "Radioactive Man" 2F17
131 Chalkboard131.png No one wants to hear from my armpits "Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily" 3F01
132 Chalkboard132.png I am not a lean mean spitting machine "Bart Sells His Soul" 3F02
133 Chalkboard133.png The boys' room is not a water park "Lisa the Vegetarian" 3F03
135 Chalkboard135.png Indian burns are not our cultural heritage "King-Size Homer" 3F05
137 Chalkboard137.png Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming" 3F08
138 Chalkboard138.png I will only do this once a year
(by "this", it means a clip show) 		"The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular" 3F31
139 Chalkboard139.png I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist "Marge Be Not Proud" 3F07
140 Chalkboard140.png I am not certified to remove asbestos "Team Homer" 3F10

Season 8[edit]

# Thumbnail Gag Episode Code
155 You Only Move Twice Blackboard Gag.png I did not learn everything I need to know from kindergarten "You Only Move Twice" 3F23
156 Chalkboard156.png I am not my long-lost twin "The Homer They Fall" 4F03
160 Chalkboard160.png During the episode, Lisa writes: I will not be a snickerpuss. "Lisa's Date with Density" 4F01
163 Chalkboard163.png The truth is not out there "The Springfield Files" 3G01
164 Chalkboard164.png I am not licensed to do anything "The Twisted World of Marge Simpson" 4F08
166 Chalkboard166.png I will not hide the teacher's Prozac "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious" 3G03
173 Chalkboard173.png A fire drill does not demand a fire "The Canine Mutiny" 4F16

Season 9[edit]

# Thumbnail Gag Episode Code
181 Chalkboard181.png I no longer want my MTV "Lisa's Sax" 3G02
183 Chalkboard183.png Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story "The Cartridge Family" 5F01
184 Chalkboard184.png I did not invent Irish dancing "Bart Star" 5F03
186 Chalkboard186.png I will not tease Fatty "Lisa the Skeptic" 5F05
187 Chalkboard187.png There was no Roman god named "Fartacus" "Realty Bites" 5F06
188 Chalkboard188.png Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace" 5F07
191 Chalkboard191.png Shooting paintballs is not an art form "The Joy of Sect" 5F23
193 Chalkboard193.png Pain is not the cleanser "The Last Temptation of Krust" 5F10
194 Chalkboard194.png Silly string is not a nasal spray "Dumbbell Indemnity" 5F12
196 Chalkboard196.png I was not told to do this "This Little Wiggy" 5F13
197 Chalkboard197.png My butt does not deserve a website "Simpson Tide" 3G04
198 Chalkboard198.png I will not demand what I'm worth "The Trouble with Trillions" 5F14
200 Chalkboard200.png I will not mess with the opening credits
(this was actually the couch gag for this episode) 		"Trash of the Titans" 5F09
202 Chalkboard202.png I am not the new Dalai Lama "Lost Our Lisa" 5F17
203 Chalkboard203.png I was not the inspiration for "Kramer" "Natural Born Kissers" 5F18

Season 10[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
205 Chalkboard205.png I will not file frivolous lawsuits "The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace" 5F21
207 Chalkboard gag (Treehouse of Horror IX).png The Simpsons Halloween Special IX
(This is written in blood with a paintbrush.) 		"Treehouse of Horror IX" AABF01
208 Chalkboard208.png "butt.com" is not my E-mail address
(This was changed to "butt.butt" in later airings since butt.com was revealed to be a real website. Butt.com still appeared in syndication, however) 		"When You Dish Upon a Star" 5F19
209 Chalkboard209.png No one cares what my definition of "is" is "D'oh-in' in the Wind" AABF02
210 Chalkboard210.png I will not scream for ice cream "Lisa Gets an "A"" AABF03
211 Chalkboard211.png I am not a licensed hairstylist "Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"" AABF04
212 Chalkboard212.png "The President did it" is not an excuse "Mayored to the Mob" AABF05
213 Chalkboard213.png My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld "Viva Ned Flanders" AABF06
214 Chalkboard214.png Sherri does not "got back" "Wild Barts Can't Be Broken" AABF07
215 Chalkboard215.png I will not do "the dirty bird" "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday" AABF08
216 Chalkboard216.png No one cares about my sciatica "Homer to the Max" AABF09
217 Chalkboard217.png Hillbillies are people too "I'm with Cupid" AABF11
218 Chalkboard218.png Grammar is not a time of waste "Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"" AABF10
219 Chalkboard219.png I do not have diplomatic immunity "Make Room for Lisa" AABF12
220 Chalkboard220.png It does not suck to be you "Maximum Homerdrive" AABF13
221 Chalkboard221.png I cannot absolve sins "Simpsons Bible Stories" AABF14
Chalkboard221 1.png During Lisa's dream in the episode:
I will not deface (In hieroglyphics)
222 Chalkboard222.png A trained ape could not teach gym "Mom and Pop Art" AABF15
223 Chalkboard223.png Loose teeth don't need my help "The Old Man and the "C" Student" AABF16
224 Chalkboard224.png I have neither been there nor done that "Monty Can't Buy Me Love" AABF17
225 Chalkboard225.png No one wants to hear from my armpits "They Saved Lisa's Brain" AABF18
226 Chalkboard226.png I'm so very tired "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo" AABF20

Season 11[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
227 Chalkboard227.png Fridays are not "pants optional" "Beyond Blunderdome" AABF23
228 Chalkboard228.png Pork is not a verb "Brother's Little Helper" AABF22
229 Chalkboard229.png I am not the last Don "Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?" AABF21
231 Chalkboard231.png I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize "E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)" AABF19
232 Chalkboard232.png I won't not use no double negatives "Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder" BABF02
233 Chalkboard233.png Indian burns are not our cultural heritage "Eight Misbehavin'" BABF03
234 Chalkboard234.png I can't see dead people "Take My Wife, Sleaze" BABF05
235 Chalkboard235.png I will not sell my kidney on eBay "Grift of the Magi" BABF07
Chalkboard235 1.png During the episode, Lisa writes:
I will not do math in class
236 Chalkboard236.png I will not create art from dung "Little Big Mom" BABF04
237 Chalkboard237.png I will stop phoning it in "Faith Off" BABF06
238 Chalkboard238.png Class clown is not a paid position "The Mansion Family" BABF08
239 Chalkboard239.png Substitute teachers are not scabs "Saddlesore Galactica" BABF09
240 Chalkboard240.png My suspension was not mutual "Alone Again, Natura-Diddily" BABF10
241 Chalkboard241.png A belch is not an oral report "Missionary: Impossible" BABF11
242 Chalkboard242.png Dodgeball stops at the gym door "Pygmoelian" BABF12
243 Chalkboard243.png Non-flammable is not a challenge "Bart to the Future" BABF13
244 Chalkboard244.png I was not touched "there" by an angel "Days of Wine and D'oh'ses" BABF14
245 Chalkboard245.png I am not here on a fartball scholarship "Kill the Alligator and Run" BABF16
246 Chalkboard246.png I will not dance on anyone's grave "Last Tap Dance in Springfield" BABF15
247 Chalkboard247.png I cannot hire a substitute student "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge" BABF18
248 Chalkboard248.png I will not obey the voices in my head "Behind the Laughter" BABF19

Season 12[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
250 Chalkboard250.png I will not plant subliminal messagores "A Tale of Two Springfields" BABF20
251 Chalkboard251.png I will not surprise the incontinent "Insane Clown Poppy" BABF17
252 Chalkboard252.png I am not the acting president "Lisa the Tree Hugger" CABF01
253 Chalkboard253.png I was not the sixth Beatle "Homer vs. Dignity" CABF04
254 Chalkboard254.png I will only provide a urine sample when asked "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes" CABF02
255 Chalkboard255.png The nurse is not dealing "The Great Money Caper" CABF03
256 Chalkboard256.png Science class should not end in tragedy "Skinner's Sense of Snow" CABF06
Chalkboard256 1.png During the episode, Skinner writes:
I ain't not a dorkus
257 Chalkboard257.png Network TV is not dead "HOMЯ" BABF22
258 Chalkboard258.png I will not "let the dogs out" "Pokey Mom" CABF05
259 Chalkboard259.png I will not hide the teacher's medication "Worst Episode Ever" CABF08
260 Chalkboard260.png I will not publish the principal's credit report "Tennis the Menace" CABF07
261 Chalkboard261.png The hamster did not have a "full life" "Day of the Jackanapes" CABF10
262 Chalkboard262.png I will not buy a presidential pardon "New Kids on the Blecch" CABF12
263 Chalkboard263.png "Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap "Hungry, Hungry Homer" CABF09
264 Chalkboard264.png I will not scare the vice president "Bye, Bye, Nerdie" CABF11
265 Chalkboard265.png I will not flush evidence "Simpson Safari" CABF13
266 CABF14 chalkboard gag.png Fire is not the cleanser "Trilogy of Error" CABF14
267 Chalkboard267.png Genetics is not an excuse "I'm Goin' to Praiseland" CABF15
268 Chalkboard268.png Today is not Mothra's Day "Children of a Lesser Clod" CABF16
269 Chalkboard269.png I should not be twenty-one by now "Simpsons Tall Tales" CABF17

Season 13[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
271 Chalkboard271.png Nobody reads these anymore "The Parent Rap" CABF22
272 Chalkboard272.png A burp in a jar is not a science project "Homer the Moe" CABF20
273 Chalkboard273.png Fun does not have a size "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love" CABF18
274 Chalkboard274.png I am not Charlie Brown on acid "The Blunder Years" CABF21
275 Chalkboard275.png I do not have a cereal named after me "She of Little Faith" DABF02
279 Chalkboard279.png I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers "Half-Decent Proposal" DABF04
280 Chalkboard280.png The Giving Tree is not a chump "The Bart Wants What It Wants" DABF06
281 Chalkboard281.png Making Milhouse cry is not a science project "The Lastest Gun in the West" DABF07
283 Chalkboard283.png Vampire is not a career choice "Tales from the Public Domain" DABF08
288 Chalkboard288.png I will never lie about being cancelled again "The Sweetest Apu" DABF14

Season 14[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
294 Chalkboard294.png Fish do not like coffee "Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade" DABF20
296 Chalkboard296.png Milhouse did not test cootie positive "Helter Shelter" DABF21
300 Chalkboard300.png This school does not need a "regime change" "The Strong Arms of the Ma" EABF04
301 Pray Anything - Chalkboard gag.png SpongeBob is not a contraceptive "Pray Anything" EABF06
302 Chalkboard302.png I will not (Bart then destroys the chalkboard with an axe and runs out the school laughing.) "Barting Over" EABF05
310 Chalkboard310.png My pen is not a booger launcher "Old Yeller-Belly" EABF14
312 Chalkboard312.png Sandwiches should not contain sand "The Bart of War" EABF16

Season 15[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
319 Chalkboard319.png Over forty & single is not funny "Today I Am a Clown" FABF01
327 Chalkboard327.png I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be "The Ziff Who Came to Dinner" FABF08

Season 16[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
339 Chalkboard339.png Poking a dead raccoon is not research "She Used to Be My Girl" FABF22
346 Chalkboard346.png Beer in a milk carton is not milk "On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister" GABF05
355 Chalkboard355.png A Booger is not a bookmark "Home Away from Homer" GABF15

Season 17[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
357 Chalkboard357.png Does any kid still do this anymore? "The Bonfire of the Manatees" GABF18
366 Chalkboard366.png I am not smarter than the President "Homer's Paternity Coot" HABF03
367 Chalkboard367.png Teacher was not dumped—it was mutual "We're on the Road to D'ohwhere" HABF04
371 Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife promo 3.png First airing, live action opening:
I will not eat things for money 		"Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife" HABF08
Chalkboard371-2.png Subsequent airings:
I will not laminate dog doo
372 Million-Dollar Abie (Chalkboard gag).png I will not flip the classroom upside down
(The classroom is flipped upside down.) 		"Million-Dollar Abie" HABF09
376 Chalkboard376.png I will not leak the plot of the movie "Regarding Margie" HABF13
377 Chalkboard377.png Je ne parle pas français
("I do not speak French.") 		"The Monkey Suit" HABF14
378 Chalkboard378.png Have a great summer, everyone "Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play" HABF16

Season 18[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
381
Chalkboard381-InEpisode.png During the episode, Skinner writes:
A baby beat me up 		"Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em" HABF20
383 Chalkboard383.png We are not all naked under our clothes "G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)" HABF21
387 Chalkboard387.png Frankincense is not a monster "Kill Gil, Volumes I & II" JABF01
390
Chalkboard390-inepisode.png During the episode:
So long suckers 		"Little Big Girl" JABF04
394 Chalkboard394.png Global Warming did not eat my homework "Homerazzi" JABF06
397 Chalkboard397.png I will not look up how much teacher makes "Crook and Ladder" JABF13
398 Chalkboard398.png Pearls are not oyster barf "Stop, or My Dog Will Shoot!" JABF12

The Simpsons Movie[edit]

Airdate Picture Gag
July 27, 2007 The Simpsons Movie chalkboard gag.png I will not illegally download this movie

Season 19[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
401 Chalkboard401.png I will not wait 20 years to make another movie "He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs" JABF20
402 The Homer of Seville Chalkboard Gag.png The Wall Street Journal is better than ever "The Homer of Seville" JABF18
404 I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings Chalkboard Gag.png I am not a FDIC-insured bank. "I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" JABF19
406 Little Orphan Millie Chalkboard Gag.png There is no such thing as an iPoddy "Little Orphan Millie" JABF22
407 Husbands and Knives Chalkboard Gag.png The Pilgrims were not illegal aliens "Husbands and Knives" JABF17
409 Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind Chalkboard Gag.png The capital of Montana is not "Hannah" "Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind" KABF02
410 E Pluribus Wiggum Chalkboard Gag.png Teacher did not pay too much for her condo "E Pluribus Wiggum" KABF03
413 The Debarted Chalkboard Gag.png The art teacher is fat, not pregnant "The Debarted" KABF06
417 Apocalypse Cow (Chalkboard Gag).png A person's a person, no mater how Ralph "Apocalypse Cow" KABF10
419 Mona Leaves-a Chalkboard Gag.png This punishment is not medieval.
[in medieval writing style] 		"Mona Leaves-a" KABF12

Season 20[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
422 Lost Verizon Chalkboard Gag.png Teacher's diet is working "Lost Verizon" KABF15
423 Double, Double, Boy in Trouble Chalkboard Gag.png There is no such month as Rocktober "Double, Double, Boy in Trouble" KABF14
425 Dangerous Curves Chalkboard Gag.png I did not see teacher siphoning gas "Dangerous Curves" KABF18
427 MyPods and Boomsticks Chalkboard Gag.png
MyPods and Boomsticks Couch Gag.png 		Prosperity is just around the corner

Additionally, during the couch gag: I will not bring the chalkboard home
(The chalkboard Bart is writing on has taken the place of the couch in the Simpsons' living room) 		"MyPods and Boomsticks" KABF20
428 The Burns and the Bees Chalkboard gag.png Jesus is not mad His birthday is on Christmas "The Burns and the Bees" KABF21
429 Lisa the Drama Queen Chalkboard Gag.png I will not use permanent ink on the chalkboard "Lisa the Drama Queen" KABF22
430 Take My Life, Please promo.png HDTV is worth every cent

(This was the first episode to air in HD.)

"Take My Life, Please" LABF01
431 How the Test Was Won Chalkboard Gag.png "March Madness" is not an excuse for missing school "How the Test Was Won" LABF02
432 No Loan Again, Naturally Chalkboard Gag.png I will not have fun with educational toys "No Loan Again, Naturally" LABF03
434 In the Name of the Grandfather Chalkboard Gag.png Four leaf clovers are not mutant freaks "In the Name of the Grandfather" LABF11
435 Wedding for Disaster Chalkboard Gag.png My piggy bank is not entitled to TARP funds "Wedding for Disaster" LABF05
437 The Good, the Sad, and the Drugly Chalkboard Gag.png I will not mock teacher's outdated cell phone "The Good, the Sad, and the Drugly" LABF07
438 Father Knows Worst Chalkboard Gag.png I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy "Father Knows Worst" LABF08
441 Coming to Homerica Chalkboard Gag.png It's 'Facebook', not 'Assbook' "Coming to Homerica" LABF12

Season 21[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
442 DSCN2656.png The class hamster isn't just sleeping "Homer the Whopper" LABF13
443 BGaZ - Chalkboard gag.png Chalkboarding is not torture "Bart Gets a "Z"" LABF15
444 S21E03 - Chalkboard gag.png I am not allergic to long division "The Great Wife Hope" LABF16
446 The Devil Wears Nada chalkboard gag.png I do not have the hots for my mom "The Devil Wears Nada" LABF17
447 PaG - Chalkboard gag.png Halloween does not kick Thanksgiving's ass "Pranks and Greens" LABF18
448 Rednecks and Broomsticks Chalkboard Gag.png Teachers' unions are not ruining this country "Rednecks and Broomsticks" LABF19
451 Once Upon a Time in Springfield Chalkboard Gag.png The world may end in 2012, but this show won't "Once Upon a Time in Springfield" LABF20
456 Stealing First Base Chalkboard Gag.png WWII could not beat up WWI "Stealing First Base" MABF07
458 American History X-cellent chalkboard gag.png Hot dogs are not bookmarks "American History X-cellent" MABF08
459 Chief of Hearts Chalkboard Gag.png This counts as gym and art class "Chief of Hearts" MABF09
460 The Squirt and the Whale - Chalkboard gag.pngThe Squirt and the Whale - Alt Chalkboard gag.png Original airing: South Park, we'd stand beside you if we weren't so scared
International/online version: Je ne suis pas français (I am not French) 		"The Squirt and the Whale" MABF14
462 Moe Letter Blues Chalkboard Gag.png Eating my vegetables IS NOT a Mother's Day present "Moe Letter Blues" MABF13
463 The Bob Next Door Chalkboard Gag.png Batman is not 'nothing' without his utility belt "The Bob Next Door" MABF11
464 Judge Me Tender Chalkboard Gag.png End of "Lost": It was all the dog's dream. Watch us. "Judge Me Tender" MABF15

Season 22[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
465 Elementary School Musical Chalkboard Gag.png When I slept in class it was not to help Leo DiCaprio "Elementary School Musical" MABF21
466 Loan-a Lisa Chalkboard Gag.png I did not see Teacher applying for welfare "Loan-a Lisa" MABF17
467 Chalkboard gag (MoneyBART).png I must not write all over the walls
(in the meantime is written all over the walls) 		"MoneyBart" MABF18
471 How Munched is That Birdie in the Window Chalkboard Gag.png "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" is as good as "A Charlie Brown Christmas" "How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window?" NABF02
473 Donnie Fatso Chalkboard Gag.png Candy canes are not elf bones "Donnie Fatso" MABF19
474 Moms I'd Like to Forget Chalkboard Gag.png January is not Bart History Month "Moms I'd Like to Forget" NABF03
476 Homer the Father - Chalkboard gag.png Prince is not the son of Martin Luther King "Homer the Father" NABF05
477 The Blue and the Gray Chalkboard Gag.png I will not make fun of Cupid's dink "The Blue and the Gray" NABF06
479 The Scorpion's Tale Chalkboard Gag.png I'm not here on a spitball scholarship "The Scorpion's Tale" NABF08
480 A Midsummer's Nice Dream Chalkboard Gag.png "Daylight Savings" is not a failed bank "A Midsummer's Nice Dreams" NABF09
481 Love Is a Many Strangled Thing Chalkboard Gag.png I will not ridicule teacher's Final Four bracket "Love Is a Many-Strangled Thing" NABF10
LIAMST In-episode Chalkboard Gag Homer.png In-episode (Homer):
I'm a grown man who's scared of his own son
484 Homer Scissorhands Chalkboard Gag.png I do not deserve a Mother's Day gift for being "one badass mother" "Homer Scissorhands" NABF13
485 Kirsten schaal gag.jpg Syndicated version:
It's Kristen Schaal, not Kristen Schall 		"500 Keys" NABF14
500 Keys Chalkboard Gag.png International/online version:
Guinea Pigs should not be used as "Guinea Pigs"

Season 23[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
488 Bart Stops Chalkboard Gag.png It's not too early to speculate about the 2016 election "Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts" NABF17
490 Replaceable You Chalkboard Gag.png It's November 6th--How come we're not airing a Halloween show? "Replaceable You" NABF21
494 The 10% Solution Chalkboard Gag.png "Caucus" is not a dirty word "The Ten-Per-Cent Solution" PABF02
495 Holidays of Future Passed Chalkboard Gag.png Cafeteria trays are not toboggans "Holidays of Future Passed" NABF18
496 Politically Inept Chalkboard Gag.png Tintin did not sucksuck "Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson" PABF03
497 D'oh-cial Network Chalkboard Gag.png We do need no education "The D'oh-cial Network" PABF04
498 MGFRTR Chalkboard Gag.png There's no proven link between raisins and boogers "Moe Goes from Rags to Riches" PABF05
499 Daughter Also Rises Chalkboard Gag.png I will not replace a candy heart with a frog's heart "The Daughter Also Rises" PABF06
500 At Long Last Leave Chalkboard Gag.png Milhouse writes:
Bart's earned a day off 		"At Long Last Leave" PABF07
At Long Last Leave chalkboard gag Outlands.png During the episode, Bart writes on the wall in spray paint:
I ♥ the breakdown of society
504 Beware My Cheating Bart Chalkboard Gag.png Original/UK airing: The true location of Springfield is in any state but yours "Beware My Cheating Bart" PABF11
Beware My Cheating Bart Alt Chalkboard Gag.png International (except UK)/online version: Teacher does not have to pay an "Ugly Tax"
507 Ned 'N' Edna's Blend Chalkboard Gag.png Call your mother during the commercials. "Ned 'n Edna's Blend Agenda" PABF15

Season 24[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
509 Moonshine River chalkboard gag.png I will not wear white after Labor Day (He is wearing a white shirt) "Moonshine River" PABF21
512 Gone Abie Gone chalkboard gag.png I will not concede the election till Karl Rove gives me permission "Gone Abie Gone" PABF16
513 Penny-Wiseguys chalkboard gag.png I want to secede but don't know which state I'm in "Penny-Wiseguys" PABF19
514 A Tree Grows in Springfield chalkboard gag.png 20 more shoplifting days till Christmas "A Tree Grows in Springfield" PABF22
517 Homer Goes to Prep School chalkboard gag.png Teacher did not get fat over the holidays "Homer Goes to Prep School" RABF02
518 A Test Before Trying chalkboard gag.png I will obey Oscar® campaign rules from now on "A Test Before Trying" RABF03
520 RABF07 chalkboard gag.png I was not nominated for "Best Spoken Swear Word" "Love Is a Many-Splintered Thing" RABF07
523 Black-Eyed Please chalkboard gag.png I'm sorry I broke the blackboard. (Bart is writing with a black marker on a whiteboard) "Black-Eyed, Please" RABF09
524 Dark Knight Court chalkboard gag.png Jesus's last words were not "TGIF" "Dark Knight Court" RABF10
528 The Fabulous Faker Boy chalkboard gag1.png
The Fabulous Faker Boy chalkboard gag2.png
The Fabulous Faker Boy chalkboard gag3.png
The Fabulous Faker Boy chalkboard gag4.png 		This School is not falling apart (then the blackboard falls apart) "The Fabulous Faker Boy" RABF12

Season 25[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
531 Homerland chalkboard gag.png 25 years and they can't come up with a new punishment. "Homerland" RABF20
532 Treehouse of Horror XXIV promo 4.png All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy "Treehouse of Horror XXIV" RABF16
533 Four Regrettings RIP Mrs K.png We'll really miss you Mrs. K. (Written once, Bart is sad.)

(Marcia Wallace, the voice actor for Edna Krabappel, passed away nine days before this episode aired.)

"Four Regrettings and a Funeral" RABF18
534 YOLO Chalkboard Gag.png My School Schedule does not include a bye week. "YOLO" RABF22
YOLO In-Episode Chalkboard Gag.png During the episode:
I will not drop a stitch
535 Labor Pains Chalkboard Gag.png Rocktober is not followed by Blowvember "Labor Pains" RABF19
537 Yellow Subterfuge Chalkboard Gag.png I will stop asking when Santa goes to the bathroom "Yellow Subterfuge" SABF04
538 White Christmas Blues Chalkboard Gag.png I will not call my teacher "Prancer" and "Vixen" "White Christmas Blues" SABF01
540 Married to the Blob Chalkboard Gag.png Original airing: Judas Priest is not "Death Metal" "Married to the Blob" SABF03
Married to the Blob Chalkboard Gag version 2.png International/online airing: If you haven't broken your Christmas presents yet, you're not trying
542 Diggs - Chalkboard Gag.png A bracket-style tournament of characters with Homer and Jasper in the finals "Diggs" SABF08
544 TWoHC - Chalkboard Gag.png My dad's already drunk for St. Patrick's. "The Winter of His Content" SABF09
549 WtEWBE - Chalkboard Gag (TV airings).jpg Original/Television broadcast airing:April Showers Do Not Bring Matt Lauers" "What to Expect When Bart's Expecting" SABF14
WtEWBE - Chalkboard Gag.png International/online airing: You can't play April Fool's jokes on April 27th

Season 26[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
553 CitD - Chalkboard Gag.png Spoiler Alert: Unfortunately, my Dad Doesn't Die "Clown in the Dumps" SABF20
561 IWBHFC - Chalkboard Gag.png Reindeer Meat Does not taste like Chicken "I Won't Be Home for Christmas" TABF03
563 BNF - Chalkboard gag.png Snowmen don't have carrot penises "Bart's New Friend" TABF05
566 MFL - Chalkboard Gag.png Pixel art is not real art "My Fare Lady" TABF07
571 TKAAF - Chalkboard Gag.png Lisa writes:
I will not pay my sister to do my punishment. 		"The Kids Are All Fight" TABF12
574 Mathlete's Feat promo 3.png During the episode:
I will not fight the future 		"Mathlete's Feat" TABF16

Season 27[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
587 Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4 - Chalkboard Gag.png Hershey kisses do not drop from Cupid's butt "Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4" VABF07
591 TBC chalkboard gag.png If Villanova doesn't win we lose everything "The Burns Cage" VABF10
592 HLGHMB chalkboard gag.png Skinner writes:
Never lose a bet to Bart Simpson 		"How Lisa Got Her Marge Back" VABF11
593 Fland Canyon chalkboard gag.png Dad swears he'll get his taxes in soon "Fland Canyon" VABF12
594 TCourierWL chalkboard gag.png Dirty clothes are not a Mother's Day gift "To Courier with Love" VABF14
596 Orange Is the New Yellow Chalkboard Gag.png Milhouse does not live below the puberty line "Orange Is the New Yellow" VABF15

Season 28[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
597 MBFC chalkboard gag.png This arm needs Tommy John surgery "Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus" VABF20
598 FaF chalkboard gag.png I will stop losing 50% of my NFL lead-in "Friends and Family" VABF18
601 TButC chalkboard gag.png The first episode of the second 600 "Trust but Clarify" VABF21
603 HWW chalkboard gag.png Being right sucks

(This was the first episode to air after the 2016 presidential election, which Donald Trump won, a result predicted in "Bart to the Future")

"Havana Wild Weekend" VABF19
604 DB chalkboard gag.png I will watch all 600 episodes without sleeping "Dad Behavior" WABF01
610 FTZ chalkboard.png If we're so good at predicting how come my dad bet on Atlanta "Fatzcarraldo" WABF07
612 KKer chalkboard gag.png We're the only house where the Christmas tree is still up "Kamp Krustier" WABF09
614 AFW chalkboard.png Studying is not "appropriating nerd culture" "A Father's Watch" WABF11
AFW chalkboard in-episode Lisa.png In-episode (Lisa):
Everybody's a winner
AFW chalkboard in-episode Bart.png In-episode (Bart):
I did nothing wrong this week
616 LFMG chalkboard in-episode Grampa.png In-episode (Grampa):
I just wrote one and I'm already tired 		"Looking for Mr. Goodbart" WABF13
618 DogT - chalkboard gag.png Thank you for 28 great years... Taylor Swift "Dogtown" WABF15

Season 29[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
621 Whistler's Father Chalkboard Gag.png It's unfair to judge a president on his first 300 days "Whistler's Father" WABF16
623 Grampy Can Ya Hear Me Chalkboard Gag.png Hooligan is not a profession "Grampy Can Ya Hear Me" WABF19
624 The Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to Be Chalkboard Gag.png I will not ask my guidance counselor why he couldn't get a better job "The Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to Be" WABF20
625 Singin' in the Lane promo 3.png We do not live in our own pee "Singin' in the Lane" WABF21
627 Gone Boy Chalkboard Gag.png Snow Angels are not frozen hobos "Gone Boy" XABF02
629 FrinkGetsTesty Chalkboard.png Homer writes: "Strangling is not an effective parenting tool" "Frink Gets Testy" XABF04
632 Fears of a Clown chalkboard 1.png
Fears of a Clown chalkboard 2.png 		Bart writes "This is the last episode", then flips over the blackboard, and "April Fool" is written on it. "Fears of a Clown" XABF08
633 NGRGU Chalkboard.png April Showers did not date the President "No Good Read Goes Unpunished" XABF07
635 XABF11 chalkboard.png Homer writes: "I will not bet with Bart on the Final four" "Lisa Gets the Blues" XABF11

Season 30[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
645
FRWL In-episode Chalkboard Gag.png In-episode (on the street):
I will not order pregnant rats 		"From Russia Without Love" XABF20
648 Daddicus Finch Chalkboard Gag.png My pre-Christmas behavior really helps the coal industry "Daddicus Finch" YABF01
649 'Tis the 30th Season Chalkboard Gag.png The fat man who works one night a year is my dad "'Tis the 30th Season" YABF02
650 Mad About the Toy Blackboard gag.png My new year's resolution was to quit school "Mad About the Toy" YABF03
654 101 Mitigations Chalkboard gag.png Chili fries do not go in like a lamb and out like a lion "101 Mitigations" YABF07
655 YABF08 chalkboard.png Bart draws a bracket tournament of his favorite person, with Krusty winning "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" YABF08
658 Girl's in the Band Chalkboard gag.png I am not a grandmother "Girl's in the Band" YABF11
659 I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'oh Chalkboard gag.png I will not write "Audit please" on Homer's tax return "I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'oh" YABF12
660 D'oh Canada Chalkboard gag 1.pngD'oh Canada Chalkboard gag 2.png Bart writes "Haw Haw!" on it, but then hits the blackboard, that turning around reveals Nelson attached to it with tape "D'oh Canada" YABF14
662 CBHP In-episode Chalkboard Gag.pngCBHP In-episode Chalkboard Gag (Marge).png In-episode:
I will not shirk my responsibilities (also written by Marge) 		"Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion" YABF16

Season 31[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
668 Marge the Lumberjill Chalkboard Gag.png Daylight savings isn't something I can spend "Marge the Lumberjill" ZABF02
671 TTWHTFM Chalkboard gag.png Todd writes "Idle hands are the Devil's tools" with two hands. "Todd, Todd, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?" ZABF04
673 Hail to the Teeth chalkboard.png Teacher spent New Year's Eve at home by choice "Hail to the Teeth" ZABF05
678 ZABF11 chalkboard.png Lisa writes "Bart is at a Doctor's appointment" "Better Off Ned" ZABF11
680 YABF13 chalkboard.png "School Online", written on the school blackboard "The Incredible Lightness of Being a Baby" YABF13
681 ZABf12 chalkboard.png Homer writes "How did the boy get me to do this?" with Bart watching "Warrin' Priests: Part One" ZABF12
682 ZABF13 chalkboard.png I will stop reminding the principal I have a later bedtime than he does "Warrin' Priests: Part Two" ZABF13

Season 32[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
693 Sorry Not Sorry chalkboard gag.png I will not put laxatives in Santa's cookies "Sorry Not Sorry" QABF01
696 QABF05 chalkboard.png I will never be a teacher's pet
(During the episode.) 		"Diary Queen" QABF05
705 QABF13 chalkboard.png I will not take advantage of Milhouse
Written by Milhouse while Bart escapes through the window.
(During the episode, on Terrance's evidence board.) 		"The Man from G.R.A.M.P.A." QABF13

Season 33[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
709 Treehouse of Horror XXXII Chalkboard gag.png During the episode:
I hate rhyming couplets 		"Treehouse of Horror XXXII" QABF16
724 My Octopus and a Teacher chalkboard.png During the episode:
I will not express my feelings through chaos 		"My Octopus and a Teacher" UABF11
726 Marge the Meanie chalkboard gag.png During the end credits:
I will not violate the law of entropy 		"Marge the Meanie" UABF15

Season 34[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
750 OABF13 chalkboard gag.png I will not try to cram 750 characters into the opening credits... "Homer's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass" OABF13

Season 36[edit]

# Image Gag Episode Code
774 Women in Shorts promo 7.png Lisa writes "I will not get detention just to practice cursive", then proceeds to get out of school with her bike. "Women in Shorts" 35ABF17

Specials[edit]

Airdate Picture Gag Special
September 28, 2014 The Simpsons Guy Chalkboard.png During the episode: I will not think about Bart anymore (written by Stewie Griffin) "The Simpsons Guy"
October 13, 2016 JKL - Chalkboard.png I will not make celebrities read mean tweets Jimmy Kimmel Live!
April 22, 2022 No image.png In the credits: I will learn to prank my sister (written by Finneas O'Connell) "When Billie Met Lisa"

Comics[edit]

Simpsons Illustrated[edit]

# Release date Picture Gag Comic story
1 April 4, 1991 Simpsonsillustrated1.jpg I will not read this magazine in class N/A (front cover)
6 Summer 1992 Dial "M" for Moe chalkboard gag.png I will never get anywhere by drawing crude cartoons Dial "M" for Moe
8 Winter 1992 The Simpsons Return to Slander Chalkboard.jpg The armpit is not a musical instrument Return to Slander

Simpsons Comics[edit]

# Release date Picture Gag Comic story
1 November 1993 I will not exaggerate my father's weight problem The Amazing Colossal Homer
3 March 1994 The Perplexing Puzzle of Springfield Puma.png I will not run amok while Principal Skinner is away The Perplexing Puzzle of the Springfield Puma
12 September 1995 A soldier of Skinner writes
I will not practice Communist idealogy 		White-Knuckled War Stories: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Grunt!
75 October 2002 ...The Permanent Record Room chalkboard.png I will not blame cause and effect for my juvenile delinquency ...The Permanent Record Room!
123 October 2006 Bobbing For Vengeance 1chalkboard.png I will not watch TV in class Bobbing for Vengeance
Bobbing For Vengeance 2 chalkboard.png I will not survive the school year

Bart Simpson[edit]

# Release date Picture Gag Comic story
28 February 2006 Lisa the Vampire Croaker Chalkboard.png Wienerful is not a real word Lisa the Vampire Croaker
99 November 2015 Back Words Chalkboard.png I Will Do Better Tomorrow Back Words

Books[edit]

# Release date Picture Gag Books
July 31, 1991 The Simpsons Magic Paint and Colour Book Chalkboard.png I will not juggle food in the cafeteria The Simpsons Magic Paint and Colour Book ‎
June 12, 2007 Bart Blackboard Postcard.jpg Snail mail is not dead Greetings from the Simpsons (2007)

Products[edit]

# Release date Picture Gag Product
Bart Simpson Talking Alarm Clock.jpg Underwear should be worn on the inside
Mud is not one of the four food groups
I will not eat things for money
Funny noises are not funny
I will not sell school property
I will not charge admission to the bathroom 		Bart Simpson Talking Alarm Clock
1990 School Kit.png I will not throw paper planes in class The Simpsons School Kit

Adverts[edit]

Picture Gag Advert
400th episode ad chalkboard gag.png I will not take part in shameless commercial promotion. Sky 1 400th episode ad

Calendar[edit]

Picture Gag Note
1992 Calendar chalkboard gag.png I will not belch the national anthem The Simpsons 1992 Fun Calendar, recycled from "Principal Charming"
The Simpsons 1994 Fun Calendar Gag.png I will not tell a lie The Simpsons 1994 Fun Calendar
The Simpsons 2010 Mini Calendar Gag.jpg I will be a better principal and son Written by Principal Skinner in The Simpsons Calendar 2010
The Simpsons Personalized Calendar Gag.png Name here is not wasting the watching prime-time animated cartoons Name here is a name that is personalized for the calendar

Trading cards[edit]

The Simpsons Topps[edit]

# Picture Gag
1 Topps Chalkboard 01.jpg Biting is unsanitary and rude
2 Topps Chalkboard 02.jpg I will not belch the national anthem
3 Topps Chalkboard 03.jpg I will not encourage others to fly
4 Topps Chalkboard 04.jpg Giving people wedgies is not clever
5 Topps Chalkboard 05.jpg I will not do anything bad ever again
6 Topps Chalkboard 06.jpg I will not drive the principal's car
7 Topps Chalkboard 07.jpg I will spend my time productively
8 Topps Chalkboard 08.jpg Tar is not a plaything
9 Topps Chalkboard 09.jpg I will not lie, cheat, or spit
10 Topps Chalkboard 10.jpg I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom
11 Topps Chalkboard 11.jpg I will not add to our nation's problems
12 Topps Chalkboard 12.jpg Krusty the Clown is not God
13 Topps Chalkboard 13.jpg Hamsters do not eat onion rings
14 Topps Chalkboard 14.jpg I will not trade pants with others
15 Topps Chalkboard 15.jpg I will not do that thing with my tongue
16 Topps Chalkboard 16.jpg I will not undermine traditional American values
17 Topps Chalkboard 17.jpg Cursing is a crutch
18 Topps Chalkboard 18.jpg I am not a 32 year old woman
19 Topps Chalkboard 19.jpg I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
20 Topps Chalkboard 20.jpg I will not sell school property
21 Topps Chalkboard 21.jpg I will not get very far with this attitude
22 Topps Chalkboard 22.jpg I will not overestimate my own popularity

Video games/Applications[edit]

Picture Gag Video game/Application Note
Bart's House of Weirdness chalkboard 1.png I am not a 32 year old woman The Simpsons: Bart's House of Weirdness Reused from the episode "Dead Putting Society".
Bart's House of Weirdness chalkboard 2.png I will not call my teacher hot cakes Reused from the episode "Homer's Night Out".
Bart's House of Weirdness chalkboard 3.png I will not skateboard in the halls Reused from the episode "Homer's Odyssey".
Bart's House of Weirdness chalkboard 4.png Tar is not a plaything Reused from the episode "Simpson and Delilah".
I will not burp in class. The Simpsons Screen Saver At one point, the gag is written "I will not burp u", before the "u" is rubbed out and replaced with "i".
Reused from the episode "There's No Disgrace Like Home".
Simpsons Road Rage chalkboard.png This is not a clue... or is it? The Simpsons Road Rage Reused from the episode "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)".
TBA I will not sell fake cheat codes The Simpsons Game
TBA I will not sell real cheat codes
TBA I will not switch rating labels
TBA I will not use abbrev. Reused from the episode "Another Simpsons Clip Show"
TBA I will not encourage others to fly Reused from the episode "Bart Gets an "F""
TBA Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough Reused from the episode "Fear of Flying"
TBA There was no Roman god named "Fartacus" Reused from the episode "Realty Bites"
TBA I cannot hire a substitute student Reused from the episode "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge"
TBA A fire drill does not demand a fire Reused from the episode "The Canine Mutiny"

Other[edit]

Table Reading Room[edit]

Picture Gag Note
I Will Turn off my Cell Phone at Table Reads.jpg I Will Turn off my Cell Phone at Table Reads It is located outside the room where the table reads for the series are done.


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