| "Top Goon"
| Episode Information
"Top Goon" is the eleventh episode of season 34 of The Simpsons and the seven-hundred and thirty-ninth episode overall. It originally aired on December 11, 2022. The episode was written by Joel H. Cohen and directed by Chris Clements. It guest stars Will Forte as King Toot, Stu Grimson as himself, Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony, Dave Schultz as himself, and Tiger Williams as himself.
- "When Coach Moe recruits the world's greatest brawlers to teach Nelson the art of hockey goonery, Simpsons fans are enraged by a second hockey episode in 35 years."
Outside Moe's Tavern and King Toot's, King Toot uses his new leaf blower to annoy Moe. Toot then reveals that he won a trophy for coaching a ten-and-under hockey team, the Li'l Tooters. After Moe stews over this for ten months, he decides to start his own hockey team, the Bar Flyers, of which Bart is the best player on. During their first game against Li'l Tooters, Bart is tackled by a bigger kid from King Toot's team and the Bar Flyers lose. On the way home after the loss, Moe notices Nelson bullying Martin. After watching this for a short while, Moe asks Nelson if he'd like to join the hockey team as the goon, the player who protects the best scorer on the team. Nelson is skeptical at first but Moe leaves the team's schedule with him.
During the Bar Flyers' game against the Ice Lubbers, Bart gets knocked around again. Nelson then comes onto the ice and took out the players targeting Bart, leading to the Bar Flyers winning. However, the referee disqualified the team as Nelson had been wearing cafeteria trays on his feet instead of ice skates, which was against the rules. Moe tells Nelson that he did great regardless, then takes him to the Top Goon Academy to get better at being a goon. At the academy, Nelson is taught that he must always protect his primary, who in his case is Bart. After a while training with the coaches Stu Grimson, Dave Schultz, and Tiger Williams, Nelson graduates top of his class and Moe comes to his graduation. To celebrate, Nelson and Moe go up in a Duff Blimp and throw pickled eggs at people below.
At the next game, against The Holy Moleys, the team gets an easy win. They celebrate at Winners' Pizza where Bart prank texts Moe. After seeing this, Nelson gets annoyed at Bart for mocking Moe and decides that Moe is his primary rather than Bart. Nelson then tackles Bart against the wall of the restaurant, breaking his arm. Moe gets angry at Nelson for injuring their best scorer and kicks him off the team. Feeling like he's nothing but a thug, Nelson goes to Fat Tony to join the Springfield Mafia.
Moe goes to see Mrs. Muntz to find Nelson again so he can apologize to him. When Mrs. Muntz tells Moe that Nelson considered Moe his primary, Moe realizes that Nelson was just protecting him then goes to find him. Moe eventually finds Nelson and the mafia at The Glitz Carlton hotel, where the mafia were about to get Nelson to attack a hostage in the back room. After finding out the hostage was King Toot, Moe still refuses to let Nelson injure him as he would be tossing his soul away by doing so. Moe and Nelson then leave the hotel whilst the other mafia members cry over the fact Fat Tony only considers them as weapons. On the way back to Moe's, Moe breaks the window to King Toot's and steals the hockey trophy to give to Nelson.
At The Wizard of Ows Physical Therapy, Bart is told that he will need to be in physical therapy for the next four months, which annoys Homer.
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