A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again
- "Face it, we're just kids. We can't afford stuff with zeros in the prices."
| "A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do Again"
| Episode Information
"A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again" is the nineteenth episode of season 23 of The Simpsons and the five-hundred and fifth episode overall. It originally aired on April 29, 2012. The episode was written by Matt Warburton and directed by Chris Clements. It guest stars Treat Williams as himself and Steve Coogan as Rowan Priddis.
- "Bart's had enough of his boring school life, and once he sees an advertisement for a cruise, he pines Homer and Marge to get tickets for it. Determined to go on the cruise, he sells everything he owns, but when the family finally realize that Bart won't give up, they give in, and each donate to the cruise fund. However, Bart can't have enough of the activities available on board, and soon there's a virus overtaking the world..."
After having five boring days of school, Bart sees an advertisement for Royalty Cruises and the Royal Valhalla. He goes into his parents bedroom and asks for them to go, but they can't afford it, because Homer picks up the tabs for his friends at Mr. Steak. Bart looks on the computer to see if he can pay for it, but he can't afford it either. Later, Homer goes into Bart's room but discovers it is empty. It turns out Bart has decided to have an "everything sale", where he sells everything in his bedroom and stores the money in a jar. Everything is sold, but he still doesn't have enough money. He even has to sell his dinner futures to Homer, and still doesn't have enough money. Bart then goes to "floor" (what would be his bed).
The next morning, Bart wakes up and discovers his jar is full, and assumes the devil accepted his bargain, and to repay him, he has to kill Snowball II. Marge then tells him that it was actually them who filled the jar up, each of them selling something valuable. Lisa sold some of her old jazz records, Marge sold her china set, and Homer unwillingly sold his mini-pool table. (although he had already got a leather jacket for it). Bart thinks it's going to be the best vacation ever, but Homer says it will only be for the kids.
On the way to Royalty Cruises, Homer complains about how a vacation is a 24-hour-a-day babysitting job. After ages of Homer's moaning, they arrive, but a receptionist tells them the cruise is full, and that they can go on a 8 day diet cruise (8 days and 7 nights of push ups and kale) and Homer starts jeering. The receptionist then says they can get on the ship in a different cabin, and they get an upgrade. They are then told that it isn't their room, and actually they have a double upgrade. Bart then wakes up in bed, and thinks it was all a dream, but Marge reassures him telling him he just passed out when he saw his private bedroom in their triple upgrade.
Later, the family look around the cabin; there are enough bath towels, and they have movies that haven't yet been released (like Kung Fu Human, and Pandora Strain.) Then they get a message from Rowan Priddis, head of the cruise ship. After the video, they receive a Fun Schedule and go off to an ice-cream snowball fight starting in five minutes. Homer and Marge after left alone, so they have sex and Homer shouts that land sex sucks.
Inside the ship, Lisa sees KidZone, which she guesses will be poor quality (to quote, a broken shuffleboard and a Clue game with a candlestick missing). Then a woman tells her that the pre-screeners have placed her in KidZone Elite. Inside, Lisa gets lots of people gathering around her and is happy. Outside, Bart is holding the Fun Schedule, and tells it that it's about to "get did". Bart goes through all the activities, including the history of cruise ships, and then arrives at the meeting place. Once there, the family congratulates Bart for helping them get here. Then, Rowan Priddis comes on board, and sings "Enjoy It While You Can". After the song, Bart realises the cruise is only for a week, and then it's back to his normal, boring life. Bart wants to make the vacation last forever.
At night, a boy is talking to Lisa, and Homer, wearing hula clothing, and Marge are kissing. Then a horn blasts, and the big screen has a clip of William Sullivan warning everybody about a virus on land, and everyone panics. Inside, Bart is controlling the video, and then fills the "Ship-to-Shore Communication Center" with hot fudge, which scrambles the engines. Down below, Priddis says that the attempts to contact the main land have been unsuccessful, and they must remain at sea indefinitely.
12 days later, the ship is dirty and everyone is tired. Rowan Priddis makes an announcement about what is happening, and it doesn't sound that good, and they have to go to Antarctica to get away from the virus. For example, the spa now has a cult following in it with Dave the lifeguard, and the buffet has only seagulls, barnacles and squid, and Joey Skazazone is depressed and tells the audience to hug their kids. Bart tries to make people see the good side of things, but fails. Back in the family's cabin, Bart shows Marge and Lisa the paintings he got that they were going to throw overboard. They proceed to tell Bart they're going to watch a movie, specifically the scene from Pandora Strain which has the virus part in it.
Marge takes Bart to where the pool used to be which is now called "the Fun Court", where he admits the virus was fake. Everybody gets mad at the Simpsons, and they are dumped on Antarctica, and find some penguins on their way to the research center. Bart complains, saying how their sliding like how everything else in life is so dull, but Lisa assures him that they focus on the better experiences in life, so they have fun sliding on the ice, and Bart's future is seen. He looks at photos of him; in all of them he is sliding down something, except the one with the shopping cart. He lies down with one of the photos, saying what a great ride.
"A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do Again" gained praise from fans as well as some criticism. 4.99 million viewers watched the episode, the same as "The Great Simpsina", and there were both placed in the bottom 5 of viewer ratings. The ratings of the episode have since moved out of the bottom 5. Rowan Kaiser of The A.V. Club gave the episode an A, stating "The Simpsons have a good time on a cruise ship. Too good of a time."