| "Crook and Ladder"
| Episode Information
| Episode Number:
| Production Code:
| Original Airdate:
|| May 6, 2007
| Couch Gag:
|| The TV moves aside as the Simpsons are put through a car wash, where they get sprayed with water, blasted with hot wax, and scrubbed with prickly brushes. In the end, Marge's hair is puffy, the family looks miserable, and Maggie's pacifier is gone. Three men come in, wipe the family down with rags, and give Maggie a new pacifier.
| Blackboard Text:
|| "I will not look up what teacher makes"
| Show Runner(s):
|| Al Jean
| Written By:
|| Bill Odenkirk
| Directed By:
|| Lance Kramer
"Crook and Ladder" is the nineteenth episode of The Simpsons' eighteenth season.
- "After Homer takes pills to help him sleep and crashes into the Springfield Fire Department. There he, Apu, Principal Skinner and Moe Szyslak become voluntary firemen and begin to steal property from the homes of fire victims."
Marge, following the flawed advice of a parenting magazine which Lisa later realizes is published by Larry Flynt, takes away Maggie's omnipresent pacifier, leading Maggie to go on a rampage, destroying the kitchen. Afterward, Marge tries to explain to Maggie his rationale wbut Maggie gives her a tearful look and Marge, immediately regretful, goes to give Maggie a new pacifier but the pacifier box is empty. Maggie then throws a Krusty toy which goes through Marge's hair leaving an exact cutout. The toy hits the wall and makes a dying sound in Krusty's voice. Marge calls Homer to get new pacifiers but Maggie contemptuously rejecting all the ones he brings home, spitting them out after barely even trying them. She then starts crying inconsolably after Homer asks her if she wants to lick the receipt. Luckily, Santa's Little Helper gives Maggie a squeaky toy that she can use as a substitute and she calms down.
Homer, unable to sleep takes some pills (Nappien) and becomes a "fat, suggestible zombie dad". One night, Bart and Milhouse take advantage of this by having him drive them around. Homer awakens suddenly, causing him to crash into the Fire Department, injuring all the firemen and landing them in the hospital. While the firemen recover, Homer, Apu, Moe, and Principal Skinner become volunteer firemen. After the first few fires, they are rewarded for saving the buildings. They then save Mr. Burns' house, but he gives them no reward. Feeling cheated, they decide to steal some of his treasures, covering their tracks by claiming they were destroyed by the fire. From then on, they start taking items from the places they save for their payment.
After Marge and the kids see Homer stealing, she gets them to guilt him. Everywhere he goes, the kids come out of nowhere to show him how sad they are. After the sad faces begin to get annoying, he decides to stop, and convinces the others to stop stealing, after saving Moe's and Apu's life. They then give all of their loot to the homeless.
The episode was watched by 7.72 million viewers on its original airing.