• Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
  • Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
  • Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.

Season 13

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
Season 12
Season 13
Season 14
Season 13
Season 13 DVD.jpg
Season Information
Original run: November 6, 2001 - May 22, 2002
No. of episodes: 22
Previous season: Season 12
Next season: Season 14
DVD boxset: The Complete Thirteenth Season

The thirteenth season of The Simpsons started in November 6, 2001 and ended in May 22, 2002.


This is a list of the episodes from Season 13 by airdate:

Picture # Title Original airdate Directed by Written by Prod. code
THOHXIIpromo.gif 270 - 1 "Treehouse of Horror XII" November 6, 2001 Jim Reardon Joel H. Cohen (Part 1), John Frink and Don Payne (Part 2), Carolyn Omine (Part 3) CABF19
Treehouse of Horror XII is an anthology episode that features mini-stories. "Hex and the City" tells the story of how the Simpsons deal with a Gypsy's curse. In "House of Whacks," the Simpsons buy a computerized upgrade for their house, and the house develops an obsessive attraction to Marge. "Wiz Kids" is a Harry Potter parody about student wizards Bart and Lisa and an evil plot of the Dark Lord Montymort.

Guest starring: Pierce Brosnan as the Ultrahouse and himself and Matthew Perry as Ultrahouse voice option.

TheParentRap promo.jpg 271-2 "The Parent Rap" November 11, 2001 Mark Kirkland George Meyer and Mike Scully CABF22
Bart appears in court to pay for an embarrassing joy ride in the police chief's patrol car. But just before he is set free, a second, vindictive judge named Constance Harm assumes the case and sentences him to the worst kind of detention imaginable: being tethered to Homer around the clock.

Guest starring: Jane Kaczmarek as Judge Constance Harm and Jess Harnell as Charlton Heston.

Homer the Moe2.jpg 272-3 "Homer the Moe" November 18, 2001 Jen Kamerman Dana Gould CABF20
When Moe visits his old bartending school to rediscover his passion for the business, Homer is charged with keeping tabs on Springfield's premiere watering hole. But when Moe decides to make his tavern over into something more hip and modern, a disgruntled Homer opens his own bar in the Simpson family garage.

Guest starring: R.E.M. as themselves.

Burns and Gloria.PNG 273-4 "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love" December 2, 2001 Lance Kramer John Swartzwelder CABF18
Homer's new job as the author of fortune cookies assures Mr. Burns that love is on the horizon. Mr. Burns finds it in a woman named Gloria, whom he loves so much that he wants to marry. But as he proposes to Gloria, her ex shows up - which happens to be Snake, and he's just broken out of prison.

Guest starring: Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Gloria and George Takei as the waiter.

The blunder years.jpg 274-5 "The Blunder Years" December 9, 2001 Steven Dean Moore Ian Maxtone-Graham CABF21
A restaurant hypnotist causes Homer to relive a traumatic childhood experience where, upon swimming in a quarry, he found a dead body. That dead body turned out to be Waylon Smithers, Jr.' father, Waylon Smithers, Sr., who had disappeared twenty-five years earlier under suspicious circumstances. Meanwhile, Marge fancies Chad Sexington, the man who appears on the packaging of Burly paper towels.

Guest starring: Paul Newman as himself, Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony and Judith Owen as herself.

She of Little Faith Promo Card.gif 275-6 "She of Little Faith" December 16, 2001 Steven Dean Moore Bill Freiberger DABF02
Desperate for money, the First Church of Springfield decides to rent out its wallspace to local advertisers. Horrified at the living commercial the church has become, Lisa withdraws herself from the church and converts to Buddhism.

Guest starring: Richard Gere as himself.

Gabriel family.png 276-7 "Brawl in the Family" January 6, 2002 Matthew Nastuk Joel H. Cohen DABF01
When the Simpsons need police intervention to settle a quarrel that breaks out during a game of Monopoly, they are ordered to undergo family counseling sessions with a social worker to re-establish themselves as a functional family. Their newfound harmony is put to the test, however, when Homer's and Ned's "Vegas wives" (from "Viva Ned Flanders") turn up in Springfield.

Guest starring: Jane Kaczmarek as Judge Constance Harm and Delroy Lindo as Gabriel.

Sweets and Sour Marge.png 277-8 "Sweets and Sour Marge" January 20, 2002 Mark Kirkland Carolyn Omine DABF03
When Springfield is named the "World's Fattest Town", thanks to a diabolical scheme by the Motherloving Sugar Corp., Marge takes it upon herself to rid the entire town of the sweet stuff.

Guest starring: Ben Stiller as Garth Motherloving.

Jaws Wired Shut.png 278-9 "Jaws Wired Shut" January 27, 2002 Nancy Kruse Matt Selman DABF05
Homer breaks his jaw in an accident, requiring it to be wired shut for a month. His resulting inability to talk makes him a better listener, and he becomes closer to family and friends because of it. They all like the new Homer much better, but when the wires come off and Homer retains his new attitude, everyone begins to miss the old Homer's antics.
Half-Decent Proposal promo.gif 279-10 "Half-Decent Proposal" February 10, 2002 Lauren MacMullan Tim Long DABF04
Marge, with a little help from Patty, Selma, and Jack (Daniels), e-mails Artie Ziff, who offers $1,000,000 for a weekend ("no funny business") alone with her - money they could use for an operation to make Homer stop snoring.

Guest starring: Jon Lovitz as Artie Ziff.

TheBartWantsWhatItWants1.gif 280-11 "The Bart Wants What It Wants" February 17, 2002 Michael Polcino John Frink and Don Payne DABF06
Bart develops a crush on Rainier Wolfcastle's daughter Greta. After hastily deciding he's not ready for love, he dumps her, only to change his mind later. But by then Greta only has eyes for one - Milhouse - and a trip to the set of Ranier's latest movie in Canada isn't enough to win her back.

Guest starring: Reese Witherspoon as Greta and Wolfgang Puck as himself.

Lastest Gun in the West.jpg 281-12 "The Lastest Gun in the West" February 24, 2002 Bob Anderson John Swartzwelder DABF07
Bart and Lisa meet a washed-up movie star of westerns from the 1950s and attempt to revive his career by getting him to appear on the Krusty the Klown Show. But years of alcohol abuse get in the way.

Guest starring: Dennis Weaver as Buck McCoy.

The Old Man And The Key.jpg 282-13 "The Old Man and the Key" March 10, 2002 Lance Kramer Jon Vitti DABF09
In order to impress Zelda, a new female resident at the retirement castle, Grampa starts driving again. But Grampa runs into trouble with Homer whose car he continually abuses and he develops some enemies in the form of rival gang of retirees at the Kwik-E-Mart.

Guest starring: Olympia Dukakis as Zelda and Bill Saluga as Ray Jay Johnson.

Hamlet.png 283-14 "Tales from the Public Domain" March 17, 2002 Mike B. Anderson Andrew Kreisberg, Josh Lieb and Matt Warburton DABF08
Homer gets a letter from the library telling him he has an overdue book, which he had checked out when Bart was born to have something to read to him. Lisa finds the book and suggests that he read to them from it now. Homer then reads three stories from the book.
Dabf10.png 284-15 "Blame It on Lisa" March 31, 2002 Steven Dean Moore Bob Bendetson DABF10
After the Simpson family receive a large phone bill, they discover Lisa has been sponsoring a Brazilian orphan - and when the child is reported missing, the Simpsons head to the country to find him.
Weekend at burnsies promo.jpg 285-16 "Weekend at Burnsie's" April 7, 2002 Michael Marcantel Jon Vitti DABF11
After being attacked in the garden by an unruly group of crows, Homer goes to see Dr. Hibbert about the ongoing pain in his eyes. Dr. Hibbert suggests that Homer begin smoking marijuana for medicinal purposes.

Guest starring: Phish as themselves.

Gump Roast.png 286-17 "Gump Roast" April 21, 2002 Mark Kirkland Deb Lacusta and Dan Castellaneta DABF12
The Springfield Friars Club roasts Homer, with help from clips from past episodes..."but don't call it a clip show".

Guest starring: Ed Asner as himself, Alec Baldwin as himself, Kim Basinger as herself, Stephen Hawking as himself, Ron Howard as himself, Elton John as himself, Lucy Lawless as herself, Joe Namath as himself, 'N Sync as themselves, Elizabeth Taylor as herself and U2 as themselves (all via archive clips).

I Am Furious Yellow.jpg 287-18 "I Am Furious (Yellow)" April 28, 2002 Chuck Sheetz John Swartzwelder DABF13
Bart is inspired by one of the school's motivational speakers to become a cartoonist, in which he creates a popular comic and later internet series titled "Angry Dad", which is based on Homer's anger problems. Homer becomes the town's laughing stock, and decides to give up anger completely.

Guest starring: Stan Lee as himself.

Apu squishee girl.png 288-19 "The Sweetest Apu" May 5, 2002 Matthew Nastuk John Swartzwelder DABF14
Apu's unbearable life of work and eight kids drives him to have an affair with another woman, and when Manjula finds out, Apu will have to do everything it takes to win her back.

Guest starring: James Lipton as himself.

Lisa university.png 289-20 "Little Girl in the Big Ten" May 12, 2002 Lauren MacMullan Jon Vitti DABF15
In order to avoid a failing grade in gym, Lisa takes up gymnastics, which she uses to pose as a college student. Meanwhile, Bart is diagnosed with "Panda" virus and is forced to spend a week living in a plastic bubble.

Guest starring: Robert Pinsky as himself.

The Frying Game.jpg 290-21 "The Frying Game" May 19, 2002 Michael Polcino John Swartzwelder DABF16
Homer gets into trouble with the Environmental Protection Agency and is sentenced to community service. He and Marge end up working for Mrs. Bellamy, an elderly socialite, and find themselves accused of another crime: Mrs. Bellamy's murder. Carmen Electra makes a guest appearance as herself, hosting a reality TV show.

Guest starring: Carmen Electra as herself and Frances Sternhagen as Mrs. Bellamy.

Papa's Got a Brand New Badge.png 291-22 "Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge" May 22, 2002 Pete Michels Dana Gould DABF17
Homer accidentally causes an electrical blackout in Springfield, and all of the citizens begin looting the town's businesses. Chief Wiggum is useless at restoring order, so Homer takes the law into his own hands, starts a private police force, and becomes a policeman.

Guest starring: Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony.

Season 13 episodes script covers[edit]