- "You see, the law business is a little slow, and since most of my clients wind up losing their houses, this was a natural move for me."
- ―Lionel Hutz explains his employment at Red Blazer Realty
"Realty Bites" is the ninth episode of season 9. It originally aired on December 7, 1997.
- "When Marge becomes a real estate agent, her firm loses lucrative sales due to her total honesty. Meanwhile, Homer buys a 1960s hot-rod convertible at the local police auction. Unfortunately, the rod's former owner and convicted felon, Snake, wants his property returned post haste, and will do anything to get it back."
Marge is tired of being inside the house, so she tells Homer they should go out somewhere nice. Homer takes her to the annual police auction, where items belonging to the prisoners are being sold. Homer buys Snake's hot rod, "Lil' Bandit", which makes Snake want revenge on him. Marge refuses to ride home in the car, so she walks. As she does, she meets Lionel Hutz, who works for Red Blazer Realty. She decides she wants to be a real estate seller too.
Marge studies for a test in order to become a real estate seller. She passes and gets the job. Meanwhile, Homer shows off the car too much, Snake escapes from jail to attack Homer and get his car back. Marge tries to sell houses, but is unable to stop telling the flaws of the house, making it unable to sell. Hutz tells her that if she doesn't sell a house on her first week, she will get fired. When the Flanders family looks for a new home, she once again tells them the flaws. When she finishes all the houses in the area, they spy the Murder House, which is unbeknownst to Ned. The Flanderses buy it, making Marge feel guilty.
While Homer drives under a bridge in the Lil' Bandit, Snake jumps in and starts a fight to get his car back. Marge keeps thinking about the Flanderses being murdered in the house and tries to give them their check back. When she enters the house, she finds their bodies all red and on the floor, which makes her think they were killed. They turn out to be alive, and passed out after painting the room red. She tries to give the check back, but Ned says he'll be happy here. Just then, Snake's car with him and Homer fighting drives up to the house, causing it to break partially. Chief Wiggum, in pursuit of them, also crashes into the house, completely demolishing it. Ned then rips up the check. Marge gets fired, but Homer shows her the unemployment office.
||Wikisimpsons has a collection of images related to "Realty Bites".
The episode was written by Swinton O. Scott III and directed by Dan Greaney. Phil Hartman reprises his role as Lionel Hutz for the final time in The Simpsons.