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Half-Decent Proposal

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
Season 13 Episode
278 "Jaws Wired Shut"
"Half-Decent Proposal"
"The Bart Wants What It Wants" 280
"Half-Decent Proposal"
Half-Decent Proposal promo.gif
Episode Information
Episode number: 279
Season number: S13 E10
Production code: DABF04
Original airdate: February 10, 2002
Chalkboard gag: "I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers"
Couch gag: Two repo men take away the couch. Homer cries, whereas the kids just sit on the floor and watch television.
Guest star(s): Jon Lovitz as Artie Ziff
Showrunner: Al Jean
Written by: Tim Long
Directed by: Lauren MacMullan
DVD features

"Half-Decent Proposal" is the tenth episode of season 13 of The Simpsons and the two-hundred and seventy-ninth episode overall. It originally aired on February 10, 2002. The episode was written by Tim Long and directed by Lauren MacMullan. It guest stars Jon Lovitz as Artie Ziff.


"Marge, with a little help from Patty, Selma, and Jack (Daniels), e-mails Artie Ziff, who offers $1,000,000 for a weekend ("no funny business") alone with her - money they could use for an operation to make Homer stop snoring. Jon Lovitz reprises his role as Artie Ziff."


Marge is irritated when Homer is snoring, causing her to sleep less. She sees Dr. Hibbert about the problem, and asks about a surgery, but he says it is expensive and tells them to get out when Homer asks him to do it for free. Developing a sleep problem, she spends a night at Patty and Selma's, and hears on the news that her old boyfriend, Artie Ziff, is one of America's five richest people. She dictates an e-mail to Artie to congratulate him on his appearance, but Patty and Selma doctor it to use sexual terms in an attempt to split up Marge and Homer, much to Marge's horror (for using the word sex on the Internet). Artie, who over the years seems to have developed a rather frightening obsession with Marge (his house is decorated with a large number of 'Marge' sculptures/paintings), flies in his helicopter to the Simpson house to see Marge.

After arriving, Artie offers Marge a $1 million proposal to spend a weekend with him, just to see what life would be like if they were married. Marge initially rejects the offer, but eventually can no longer stand it as Homers condition has advanced to the point that he actually snores while awake. She chooses to spend the weekend so she can get the money for the surgery. They have a good time until Artie tricks Marge into making out with him against her will in a fake prom made to mirror the one they attended in "The Way We Was" (with even its original attendants who were paid by Artie to show up). Homer, having just anxiously arrived to check up on them, sees them kissing and, unaware of the true premises, is devastated, and leaves with Lenny away from Springfield.

Lenny seems similarly dejected about his relationship with Carl; he and Homer get a job in an oil field in West Springfield, a likely death spot for the two of them. On the way there, they discuss the loves they left behind. All cacti resemble Marge to Homer, and Lenny mournfully points out Mount Carlmore that he carved one blissful summer. Meanwhile, Marge leaves Artie furiously, only to discover what Homer had done when she gets home and finds he is not there and that he had left a tape behind.

While working on an oil rig, Lenny and Homer accidentally set fire to an ant, who in turn sets fire to all her ant companions, who jump in a puddle of oil to dowse the flames. Their brief sighs of relief are replaced with screams as the whole rig catches fire. Marge, Bart, and Lisa go with Artie and Carl to West Springfield to save Homer and Lenny. At first, they are reluctant, as Homer still thinks that Marge and Artie are having an affair, and Lenny feels that there is nothing for him in Artie's helicopter. However, Artie finally admits defeat to Homer, saying that winning Marge's love was something that he could never accomplish, even with his billions, and Homer jumps on the ladder to the helicopter. Carl reveals that he is in the helicopter, and Lenny also jumps on to be saved, just before the rig collapses. Homer and Marge's marriage is also apparently saved when Artie offers a solution to Homer's snoring problem, a device which converts snoring to music and anti-Homer subliminal messages (though Artie seems to reveal himself soon after the messages start).



The episode was named the best episode of season 13 by IGN. Robert Canning of IGN gave the episode a 9 saying it was "Outstanding" and "As a whole, this was a top-notch episode. The writing was smart and tight, and instead of a B storyline, the half-hour was filled out with a number of great throwaway gags -- Hibbert and Dr. Nick clubbing mailboxes; Baron Von Kissalot. It's true we may have never expected to see Artie Ziff again, but "Half-Decent Proposal" was a welcome and very funny return.".

The Saga of Carl - title screen.png Wikisimpsons has a collection of images related to "Half-Decent Proposal".
Season 13 Episodes
Treehouse of Horror XII The Parent Rap Homer the Moe A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love The Blunder Years She of Little Faith Brawl in the Family Sweets and Sour Marge Jaws Wired Shut Half-Decent Proposal The Bart Wants What It Wants The Lastest Gun in the West The Old Man and the Key Tales from the Public Domain Blame It on Lisa Weekend at Burnsie's Gump Roast I Am Furious (Yellow) The Sweetest Apu Little Girl in the Big Ten The Frying Game Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge