...The Permanent Record Room!
| ...The Permanent Record Room!
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Pranks, But No Pranks!
Willie is sleeping on the floor of his shack and gets bitten by a spider. He wakes up and discovers he is on the ceiling, and thinks he's got superpowers. It turns out that Bart has glued all the furniture in the shack upside down. Bart's class gets a visit from Groundskeeper Seamus, who tells the story of St. Patrick's Day when Willie flies in through the window. Bart tells Willie that they are being attacked by a green goober, and points to Seamus, who has painted himself green, and the two begin to fight. Bart tells Milhouse that he also got Martin to fix Skinner's phone so that every time he says a word, he gets an electric shock. Skinner is irritated, but he does not know who is behind the prank. Willie and Seamus continue to fight in the schoolyard and Skinner tries to stop them. Bart tells Milhouse that he fills a natural desire in life and that if he quits pulling pranks, he'll become a victim of pranks. Milhouse asks Bart if this is so that they will not get mad about his pranks. Seamus, Skinner and Willie overhear them, and they make them clean the blackboard erasers and write on the board.
Skinner is visited by his mom and he starts telling her a story which happened a few years ago.
And the Beatings Go On!
James Jones is the new student at Springfield Elementary School, and he ends up in Edna's class, where everyone is a nerd. They begin to bully him because he doesn't know anything. Jimbo is not happy about his new school. Bart tells him that this is nerdtown. After school, Jimbo meets Kearney and Dolph and finds out that they hate school too, and they try to figure how to get revenge. Bart overhears and asks if they could just beat people up. Jimbo goes with his new buddy to the bike rack where the nerds are waiting for Jimbo, but now he has a new style and the nerds get knocked down and robbed of their money. Bart also gets beat up, even though he helped them with the idea.
Skinner is visited by Chalmers, who tells a story from the past.
Truant or False?
On Homer's first day of fourth grade, he meets a new friend on the way to school. Homer wants to go to school but his new friend doesn't, so they go to Noiseland Arcade and then to Mom's Malt Shoppe, where the friend tells Homer that he knows where to find treasure. Homer gets the assignment to dig up the treasure while the friend looks on. The treasure is a time capsule to be opened in the year 2052. The friend takes the capsule. Homer then continues on his way to school, but is persuaded by the friend to go with him to Yukingham Palace where Krusty is performing. Krusty complains that he has depilatories in his squirting flower, and accidentally sprays away Homer's hair. Homer goes to school after he realizes that his friend just ruined his day. Homer thinks school was boring and loses interest after a few minutes.
Chalmers says that Homer's friend grew up to be a vampire but Skinner interrupts and says that the friend grew up to be him. Willie comes in to clean the room, so Skinner and Chalmers leave the room. Willie begins to tell a story.
What About If ... Skinner Was Scottish?
If Skinner were Scottish, Willie believes Skinner would punch Chalmers and get more respect.