| "Wad Goals"
| Episode Information
"Wad Goals" is the thirteenth episode of season 32 of The Simpsons and the six-hundred and ninety-seventh episode overall. It originally aired on February 28, 2021. The episode was written by Brian Kelley and directed by Michael Polcino. It guest stars Stephen Root as Bildorf.
"Wad Goals" was dedicated in memory of writer and producer Marc Wilmore, who died on January 30.
Ralph is guiding a parade in the center of town, but it's just his fantasy. Mr. Rum-Ta-Tum, a flying bear, guides him in a bush, where he finds a secret, a big playground. In the last day of school, he guides the other kids to it to discover the secrets behind it, and they enter by hiding in it with their backs turned to the street.
They discover a big golf club in the middle of the city, and Bart and Milhouse find Jimbo getting money by working as caddy for Dr. Hibbert, so they ask Raphael to work as caddies too. Bart gets assigned to Kent Brockman, while Milhouse to Mr. Burns.
Bart starts conquering Kent, while Milhouse does a bad job, scaring Burns on his shot, making him miss by a mile. Bart keeps working and ranking up lots of money, more than his father, that is faking his wad of money with no static dryer sheets.
Marge takes Maggie to watch him work, and sees the change in him, sucking up to people for money, including her. At the Phineas Q. Butterfat's Ice Cream Parlor, he offers them ice cream, after telling the story of how he gained $50 and also tips the parlor workers, while Marge angrily exits the parlor, telling Homer her concerns, that disagrees.
Bart ends up buying a pool for him and his friends, but Martin suggest buying a good investment vehicle, so he buys a Coyote trail flipper, but when the others ask him to let them use the quad, he refuses making them angry. Marge and Lisa tries to convince people at the Springfield Town Hall but fails due to them playing at the club.
Bart spots club president Bildorf as his next target, while Marge and Lisa write a online petition on pester.org "Stop coddling the Springfield Junipers Wealthy" (abbreviated as "Stop coddling the S.J.W.s"), getting over 1 milion signatures (thanks to the abbreviation gaining them many more signatures), threatening the club's existance.
Bart shows his anger to Marge for her ruining his work, but gets called to be Bildorf's caddy the next day, asking him to have Marge back down from the petition, but Bart gives him an idea to make the golf club a religion. Quimby declares it as such, and the club is now called First Church of the Blessed Mulligan, and no longer has to pay property taxes, nullifying Marge's petition.
After the failure, Marge seeks help from other religions, but they agree on it having all checks to be a religion, but Bildorf refuses to continue having Bart as his caddy now that the club is saved.
Angrily Bart decides to rent the ATV to him and his friends, ruining the club's entire terrain, but Bildorf points out that wouldn't ruin it forever, however police turns up to arrest him due to having discovered the club being turned into a sex cult. In the end, Ralph is seen digging under the ground, dancing, while fire explosions occur on the grass of the club.
For the parody of "Carol of the Bells", the team thought it was public domain, but it turned out the lyrics were not public domain so they had to pay anyway even though they wrote their own lyrics.
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