| Burns, Baby Burns
| Episode Information
"Burns, Baby Burns" is the fourth episode of Season 8. It originally aired on November 17, 1996. The episode was written by Ian Maxtone-Graham and directed by Jim Reardon. Rodney Dangerfield guest stars as Larry Burns.
- "Mr. Burns discovers his long lost 60-year-old illegitimate son, Larry, is insulting and lazy, and wants nothing to do with him. Homer thinks a good kidnapping is all that's needed to change Burns' mind."
The Simpsons take a trip to an apple cider factory where they meet Ned Flanders. Meanwhile, Mr. Burns arrives on his his train back home from a college football game. The train is stopped for a few minutes due to a couch being shoved on the tracks. A few yards away from the train, a souvenir stand operator, Larry, sees a perfect opportunity to sell some stuff, until he sees Burns on the train and stands there in shock. He hitches a ride to Springfield from Homer and the family who are driving back from the cider factory. They drop him off at Burn's mansion, where he meets Mr. Burns and reveals that he is his son, Larry Burns.
Mr. Burns discovers Larry is in fact his son. He tells the story of his birth and where his mother is. Burns takes him to a gala where he insults the people with jokes, which embarrasses Burns. To keep Larry out of his hair, he gives him a job at the plant, where he and Homer become fast friends. Larry invites Homer over for dinner. During dinner, Burns becomes fed up with Larry and starts to hate him as a son. Homer suggests they plan a fake kidnapping, which they go through with. When Burns hears of the kidnapping, he is in fact outraged because he felt like someone was stealing from him by kidnapping his son.
Homer and Larry hide out in the basement until Burns declares his appreciation for Larry. Marge doesn't want Homer pulling any more fake kidnappings and tells him to bring Larry back, but Homer objects, saying there's cops everywhere and it's broad daylight. She insists he bring him back and he leaves. Just when they go, Marge sees on the news, they have found them out in broad daylight and with cops everywhere. They drive off to find a hiding spot. They hide in a movie no one will see, but Hans Moleman calls the police when they disrupt his viewing. When the theater is surrounded, Homer explains that it was an attempt to earn a father's love. Burns tells Larry he can't be the family he needs, which doesn't upset him, since he has a wife and kids he should get back to (it's been a week). Larry declares since everyone is there, they should start a party. A party ensues, complete with alcohol and music, which confuses Marge.