- New article from the Springfield Shopper: Season 36 News: A new episode title, “Homer and Her Sisters”, has been announced!
- Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
- Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
- Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.
  
List of chalkboard gags
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
The following is a list of chalkboard gags seen on The Simpsons.
| Airdate
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
| July 27, 2007
|
|
I will not illegally download this movie
|
|
| #
|
Image
|
Gag
|
Episode
|
Code
|
| 421
|
No Gag
|
No Gag
|
"Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes"
|
KABF17
|
| 422
|
|
Teacher's diet is working
|
"Lost Verizon"
|
KABF15
|
| 423
|
|
There is no such month as Rocktober
|
"Double, Double, Boy in Trouble"
|
KABF14
|
| 424
|
No Gag
|
No Gag
|
"Treehouse of Horror XIX"
|
KABF16
|
| 425
|
|
I did not see teacher siphoning gas
|
"Dangerous Curves"
|
KABF18
|
| 426
|
No Gag
|
No Gag
|
"Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words"
|
KABF19
|
| 427
|
|
Prosperity is just around the corner
Additionally, during the couch gag: I will not bring the chalkboard home
(The chalkboard Bart is writing on has taken the place of the couch in the Simpsons' living room)
|
"MyPods and Boomsticks"
|
KABF20
|
| 428
|
|
Jesus is not mad His birthday is on Christmas
|
"The Burns and the Bees"
|
KABF21
|
| 429
|
|
I will not use permanent ink on the chalkboard
|
"Lisa the Drama Queen"
|
KABF22
|
| 430
|
250px
|
HDTV is worth every cent
(This was the first episode to air in HD.)
|
"Take My Life, Please"
|
LABF01
|
| 431
|
|
"March Madness" is not an excuse for missing school
|
"How the Test Was Won"
|
LABF02
|
| 432
|
|
I will not have fun with educational toys
|
"No Loan Again, Naturally"
|
LABF03
|
| 433
|
No Gag
|
No Gag
|
"Gone Maggie Gone"
|
LABF04
|
| 434
|
|
Four leaf clovers are not mutant freaks
|
"In the Name of the Grandfather"
|
LABF11
|
| 435
|
|
My piggy bank is not entitled to TARP funds
|
"Wedding for Disaster"
|
LABF05
|
| 436
|
No Gag
|
No Gag
|
"Eeny Teeny Maya, Moe"
|
LABF06
|
| 437
|
|
I will not mock teacher's outdated cell phone
|
"The Good, the Sad, and the Drugly"
|
LABF07
|
| 438
|
|
I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy
|
"Father Knows Worst"
|
LABF08
|
| 439
|
No Gag
|
No Gag
|
"Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh"
|
LABF10
|
| 440
|
No Gag
|
No Gag
|
"Four Great Women and a Manicure"
|
LABF09
|
| 441
|
|
It's 'Facebook', not 'Assbook'
|
"Coming to Homerica"
|
LABF12
|
|
Season 23
Season 33
Season 34
Season 35
Comics
| #
|
Release date
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
Comic story
|
| 1
|
April 4, 1991
|
|
I will not read this magazine in class
|
N/A (front cover)
|
| 6
|
Summer 1992
|
|
I will never get anywhere by drawing crude cartoons
|
Dial "M" for Moe
|
| 8
|
Winter 1992
|
|
The armpit is not a musical instrument
|
Return to Slander
|
|
Books
Products
| #
|
Release date
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
Product
|
|
|
|
|
Underwear should be worn on the inside
Mud is not one of the four food groups
I will not eat things for money
Funny noises are not funny
I will not sell school property
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
|
Bart Simpson Talking Alarm Clock
|
|
Adverts
| Picture
|
Gag
|
Advert
|
|
I will not take part in shameless commercial promotion.
|
Sky 1 400th episode ad
|
|
Calendar
Trading cards
| #
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
| 1
|
|
Biting is unsanitary and rude
|
| 2
|
|
I will not belch the national anthem
|
| 3
|
|
I will not encourage others to fly
|
| 4
|
|
Giving people wedgies is not clever
|
| 5
|
|
I will not do anything bad ever again
|
| 6
|
|
I will not drive the principal's car
|
| 7
|
|
I will spend my time productively
|
| 8
|
|
Tar is not a plaything
|
| 9
|
|
I will not lie, cheat, or spit
|
| 10
|
|
I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom
|
| 11
|
|
I will not add to our nation's problems
|
| 12
|
|
Krusty the Clown is not God
|
| 13
|
|
Hamsters do not eat onion rings
|
| 14
|
|
I will not trade pants with others
|
| 15
|
|
I will not do that thing with my tongue
|
| 16
|
|
I will not undermine traditional American values
|
| 17
|
|
Cursing is a crutch
|
| 18
|
|
I am not a 32 year old woman
|
| 19
|
|
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
|
| 20
|
|
I will not sell school property
|
| 21
|
|
I will not get very far with this attitude
|
| 22
|
|
I will not overestimate my own popularity
|
|
Video games/Applications
| Picture
|
Gag
|
Video game/Application
|
Note
|
|
I am not a 32 year old woman
|
The Simpsons: Bart's House of Weirdness
|
Reused from the episode "Dead Putting Society".
|
|
I will not call my teacher hot cakes
|
Reused from the episode "Homer's Night Out".
|
|
I will not skateboard in the halls
|
Reused from the episode "Homer's Odyssey".
|
|
Tar is not a plaything
|
Reused from the episode "Simpson and Delilah".
|
|
|
I will not burp in class.
|
The Simpsons Screen Saver
|
At one point, the gag is written "I will not burp u", before the "u" is rubbed out and replaced with "i".
Reused from the episode "There's No Disgrace Like Home".
|
|
This is not a clue... or is it?
|
The Simpsons Road Rage
|
Reused from the episode "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)".
|
|
Other
Table Reading Room
| Picture
|
Gag
|
Note
|
|
I Will Turn off my Cell Phone at Table Reads
|
It is located outside the room where the table reads for the series are done.
|
|
|
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
_-_chalkboard_gag.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
.jpg)
.png)
.jpg){kind=link}
