Luann Van Houten (née Mussolini) is the wife of Kirk Van Houten and the mother of Milhouse Van Houten. She has been married to Kirk twice, getting divorced once, due to an argument that they had at Homer and Marge's dinner party.[1]
Biography[edit]
Luann Van Houten originated from Tuscany, Italy, showing she is Italian-American, as her mother is Italian. She was born in Shelbyville, however moved to Springfield at a young age.[2] She was born on December 1, 1970 – 1980. She lacks the stereotypically exaggerated mannerisms associated with most other Italian-Americans in Springfield, such as Fat Tony, or the chef Luigi. When she was a child, she went to "Camp Land-A-Man" (which basically served as a finishing school) with Marge, Patty and Selma, Helen Lovejoy, and Cookie Kwan.[3]
Luann was married to Kirk for several years and bore Milhouse. Their marriage was unhappy and, after an argument over a game of Pictionary, she leaves Kirk after he angrily remarks after previously drawing it and she drew a far better version of dignity that it is no wonder that he can't draw "dignity", since he gave it up when he married her. Although Kirk found the new liberty of a single life tough, Luann uses her new found freedom to live life on the fast lane.[1] Luann began dating American Gladiator Pyro shortly after her divorce with Kirk, but was caught cheating on him with his best friend, Gyro.[4]
In Apu's bachelor years, she had been one of his bachelorettes.[5] It is once revealed Luann had also gone out with Disco Stu, disco dancing. As well, she also admits she had begun a relationship with Captain McCallister. Otto revealed that he used to date her.[6] At some point while she was still married to Kirk, she slept with Dr. Hibbert at a key party.[7] Despite rekindling, she and Kirk still have issues.
When the Van Houtens are on the verge of reuniting, Bart and Milhouse hatch a scheme to get them to separate again (because Milhouse enjoyed both of them fighting over him). The scheme backfires, and nearly results in the separation of Homer and Marge. Bart and Milhouse try another hapless scheme by attempting to push a mannequinned version of Bart over a waterfall. Since then, they are often seen together.[8] After some years, they decide to marry again. Their honeymoon goes wrong since they fall from their ship and are lost in an island. When they are rescued, they go back to Springfield.
Kirk, Luann and Milhouse all have similar appearances. Bart once asked Kirk and Luann if they are siblings.[9]
Non-canon[edit]
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The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened or existed.
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The Simpsons: Tapped Out[edit]
Default[edit]
- This section is transcluded from The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters/Van Houtens. To edit it, please edit the transcluded page.
| Permanent Tasks
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| Task
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Time
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Animated?
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| Go Skating
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10m
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 26,  7
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Simpsons' Skating Rink
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| Make Mommy Meals for Milhouse
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60m
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105, 26
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Van Houten House
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Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 1
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| Dine at Truffle
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2h
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175, 40
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Gilded Truffle
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| Go to Moe's
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4h
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260, 70
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Moe's Tavern
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Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 2
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| Drink Colorful Booze
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4h
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260, 70
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Ye Olde Magick Shoppe
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| Overpay for Sex on the Beach
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4h
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260, 70
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Smooches on the Beach
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| Stay at the Swelldorado
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4h
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260, 70
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Swelldorado
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| Try to Win at Blackjack
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4h
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260, 70
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$ Casino
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| Enjoy a Night Without Kids
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4h
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260, 70
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Resort Hotel
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| Drink and Babysit
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4h
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260, 70
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The Boiled Potato
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| Spy on Kids
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4h
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260, 70
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Giant Ferris Wheel
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| Attend Coffee Meetup
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4h
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260, 70
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Jittery Joe's Coffee
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| Establish Squatter's Rights
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4h
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260, 70
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Parasite House
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| Run the Cracker Factory
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8h
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420, 105
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Cracker Factory
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Money Vs. Milhouse Pt. 5
Hardly Kirk-Ing Pt. 1
Hardly Kirk-Ing Pt. 5
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| Dance the Señor Burns
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8h
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420, 105
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Chez Guevara
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| Relax in a Jacuzzi Suit
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12h
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600, 150
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Van Houten House
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Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 3
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| Dress up in the Flag
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16h
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750, 200
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| Try On Sexy Costumes
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16h
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750, 200
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Springfield Costume Shop
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| Ride in the MegaGlobe
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24h
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1,000, 225
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Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 3
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Squirrel Luann[edit]
- This section is transcluded from The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters/Treehouse of Horror XXVI Adults. To edit it, please edit the transcluded page.
| Permanent Tasks
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| Task
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Time
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Reward
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Requires
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Quest with the task
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Animated?
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| Take an Empowered Selfie
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60m
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105, 26
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Van Houten House
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| Petition for Women's Rights
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4h
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260, 70
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Cover Squirrel Pt. 1
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| Show Off Her Squirrel Costume
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8h
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420, 105
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Cover Squirrel Pt. 4
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| Blog about Feminism
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12h
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600, 150
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Van Houten House
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| Zumba Her Tail Off
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24h
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1,000, 225
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Van Houten House
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- Luann may have had Kleptomaniacal tendencies, as while fighting with Kirk Van Houten shortly before their divorce, she mentioned that she stole shirts from the church donation bin.[1]
- She was apparently born without eyebrows.[1]
- She also apparently frequently told bedtime stories that were filled with negative vibes about her husband, such as how "rotten" it was to be married by a "loser" or the fact that he carries a change purse.[1]
- According to The Simpsons: Tapped Out dialogue, Luann had a fling with Kearney, then she claims there are too many painful memories implying it was a tough break up.
Appearances[edit]
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Please improve the article, or discuss the issue on the talk page.
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References[edit]
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