| Reasons to Avoid a Zombie-Run Restaurant
| Comic Story information
Reasons to Avoid a Zombie-Run Restaurant is a The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror comic story first printed in The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Fun-Filled Frightfest.
Comic Book Guy begins by saying that due to his "voracious appetite for books on the unholy", he knows a few things about zombies; and due to his other voracious appetites, he knows a few things about restaurants. Having explained his qualifications, he presents his list of twelve reasons why you should avoid a zombie-run restaurant.
- You will never, and I mean never, understand the specials. (A zombie waiter explains the menu to Marge in typical zombie growling/moaning fashion, and while Marge thinks she heard the word "vinaigrette", she isn't quite sure.)
- Questionable entertainment. (Timothy and Helen Lovejoy are being serenaded by a guitar-playing zombie, and Tim, with a disgusted look on his face, asks for a song that isn't about brains.)
- They seldom get your order right. (Milhouse complains: "You said my hand-burger would be just like Mom used to make! Mom didn't use wilted lettuce!")
- The vegetarian platter is not what you would expect. (Lisa's order turns out to be an old man served on a platter with an apple in his mouth.)
- Absolutely no taste in comic art. (The restaurant has a picture of Captain Caveman on the wall.)
- Inappropriate booster chairs. (Maggie's chair sits on top of two groaning zombie corpses, each missing limbs and other body parts.)
- Did I mention their poor taste in comic art? (The restaurant also has a picture of The Lockhorns.)
- Unfair benefits for the politically powerful. (Lenny complains that he only gets two toes with his plate of spaghetti and meatballs, while the restaurant gives Mayor Quimby forty toes with his.)
- Unhappy surprises. (While reading the menu, Moe discovers that he is on it.)
- Unkind towards the elderly. (Grampa complains that the early bird special is always worms.)
- Zombies make birthdays less than fun. (Ralph Wiggum's party package includes a zombie at his table with a cupcake jammed into its eye socket. Ralph laments that he wishes he was born at a Denny's.)
- In summary, as the Great Bard once said, "Horrible zombie food... and such small portions!" (Comic Book Guy loudly criticizes his serving of brain loaf, saying that he's "seen more brains in Margot Kidder".)