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Kearney Zzyzwicz

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
(Redirected from Kearney)
For Kearney, the dwarf in a story based on Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, see Kearney (Four Great Women and a Manicure).
Kearney Zzyzwicz
Kearney Zzyzwicz.png
Character Information
Male ♂
Hair: Buzz cut (Shaved)
Occupation: School bully
Relatives: Sons: Kearney, Jr.
Kearney's Other Son
Father: Kearney, Sr.
First appearance: "The Telltale Head"
Voiced by: Nancy Cartwright

Kearney Zzyzwicz is one of the school bullies of Springfield Elementary. He appears to be the ugliest and toughest of the bullies, and is very easily distracted.


He has a father named Kearney, Sr., a mother, Mrs. Zzyzwicz, whose forename is not revealed. Although he looks (and sounds) to be around Jimbo or Dolph's age, Kearney has a young son named Kearney, Jr.[1] (it is not known who the mother is), he is the only present Springfield Elementary School student that celebrated the United States Bicentennial (that is, was alive in 1976) and shaves his beard.[2] Strangely, he once needed a fake ID to purchase beer.[3]

Kearney drives a Hyundai Stellar. Skinner tried to take off the H to replace the 'H' logo stolen from Superintendent Chalmers' Honda Accord. Kearney catches him in the act, forcing Skinner to flee.[4] Kearney is seen smoking in the room where Bart, Nelson, Jimbo, and Dolph are trapped in, during Superintendent Chalmers' visit.[5]

Otto once stated that he and Kearney both went to Springfield Elementary School together, only for Kearney to reply that they are unable to teach him, which is his reason for why he is still in the school.[6]


Little Kearney


Kearney has two sons. Kearney's older son looks exactly like him, though younger and sounding like Ralph Wiggum. He was able to overcome his parents' divorce by sleeping in a drawer at night.[1] He is likely far smarter than his father, Kearney, based on the fact that he knew immediately that Gil, dressed up as Santa Claus, was a fake.[7] Kearney says that he is speaking "as a teenager and parent of a teenager".[8]

Kearney has a much younger son, who once fought Maggie in a park.[9]


Main article: Kearney, Sr.

Kearney Sr. is Kearney's gruff, rarely-seen father who looks almost identical to his son, similar to Milhouse and Homer (who greatly resemble younger versions and older versions of their fathers). One time, Kearney Sr. attacked Homer in Moe's Tavern after Homer tried to get him and the other fathers to stop their sons from bullying Bart. He hit Homer in the head with a pool stick. The bullying fathers then were forced to leave at gunpoint by Moe, who told them that they could not hit Homer unless they had bought at least two drinks.[10]


Kearney's mother is not seen but is said to suffer from clinical depression, for which she is being treated with medication. Kearney's points to the medication as the primary reason behind her recent weight gain. She is either in a mental clinic or jail.[11]


Kearney once dated Jimbo's mother.[8]


Donut Homer.png The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened or existed.

It was revealed that Kearney, Jimbo, and Dolph were all originally bullied by nerds. Bart then taught them that nerds are "all talk and no action" and they learned to "stand up" for themselves. Bart was later caught in the crossfire when his own creation backfired and Kearney, Jimbo, and Dolph begin taking revenge by torturing the nerds.[12]


Kearney becomes the Vice-Principal of Springfield Elementary (the principal is still Seymour Skinner), however none of his bullying traits are seen.[13] He will also be Lisa's bodyguard when she becomes the USA president, saying his contract gives him three people to kill in each term.[14]

The Simpsons Game

Kearney appears as one of the three museum thieves whom Bart and Homer must defeat.[15] He also appears as one of the contestants in the Duff Ultimate Eating Challenge.[16]

The Simpsons: Tapped Out

This section is transcluded from The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters/Toughies. To edit it, please edit the transcluded page.
Image Cost Unlock method Unlock message Yearbook
Tapped Out Unlock Kearney.png Donut Tapped Out.png60 Level 14
My kid plays this game. Hi, Jason! Character is available via the Yearbook Mystery Box
Donut Tapped Out.png30
Shattered Token.png1 Shattered Dreams Mystery Box
Technical Information ID Groups Internal Name
30 Premium Characters, Premium Male, Youngster, Parents, Bullies, Krustyland Goers Kearney

Behind the Laughter

Kearney was created from "Kearney Street" in Portland, Oregon, where Matt Groening grew up, which itself was named for Edward Smith Kearney, a U.S. marshal for Oregon from 1880 to 1884, and later a prominent businessman in Portland.[17][18]


  • He also owns his own tuxedo, although he isn't seen wearing it.
  • Kearney needs to wear glasses.[19]
  • He may have Polish ancestry, due to his surname "Zzyzwicz".
  • In early comics, he was named "Kearny".
  • In The Simpsons: Tapped Out, Luann Van Houten's dialogue implies that she and Kearney had dated, though it's unknown whether this statement is canonical.
  • Though most likely non-canon, Kearney may have a thing for Miss Hoover as he was once seen giving her a Valentine's Day card (though she seemed less than impressed).[20]


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