List of chalkboard gags

The following is a list of chalkboard gags seen on The Simpsons.

Season 1

# Image Gag Episode Code 1 No Gag No Gag "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" 7G08 2 I will not waste chalk "Bart the Genius" 7G02 3 I will not skateboard in the halls "Homer's Odyssey" 7G03 4 I will not burp in class "There's No Disgrace Like Home" 7G04 5 No Gag No Gag "Bart the General" 7G05 6 I will not instigate revolution "Moaning Lisa" 7G06 7 I will not draw naked ladies in class "The Call of the Simpsons" 7G09 8 I did not see Elvis "The Telltale Head" 7G07 9 No Gag No Gag "Life on the Fast Lane" 7G11 10 I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" "Homer's Night Out" 7G10 11 Garlic gum is not funny "The Crepes of Wrath" 7G13 12 They are laughing at me, not with me "Krusty Gets Busted" 7G12 13 I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom "Some Enchanted Evening" 7G01

Season 2

# Image Gag Episode Code 14 I will not encourage others to fly "Bart Gets an "F"" 7F03 During the episode: I will not fake my way through life 15 Tar is not a plaything "Simpson and Delilah" 7F02 16 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror" 7F04 17 I will not Xerox my butt "Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish" 7F01 Alternate chalkboard gag aired on June 2, 1992 rerun It's 'potato', not 'potatoe' 18 I will not trade pants with others "Dancin' Homer" 7F05 19 I am not a 32 year old woman "Dead Putting Society" 7F08 20 I will not do that thing with my tongue "Bart vs. Thanksgiving" 7F07 21 I will not drive the principal's car "Bart the Daredevil" 7F06 22 I will not pledge allegiance to Bart "Itchy & Scratchy & Marge" 7F09 23 I will not sell school property "Bart Gets Hit by a Car" 7F10 24 I will not cut corners (This is written for 3 lines. The remaining lines are all "ditto" quotation marks.) "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish" 7F11 25 I will not get very far with this attitude "The Way We Was" 7F12 26 I will not make flatulent noises in class "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment" 7F13 27 I will not belch the national anthem "Principal Charming" 7F15 28 I will not sell land in Florida "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" 7F16 29 I will not sell school property "Bart's Dog Gets an "F"" 7F14 30 I will not grease the monkey bars "Old Money" 7F17 31 I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment "Brush with Greatness" 7F18 32 No Gag No Gag "Lisa's Substitute" 7F19 33 I will not do anything bad ever again "The War of the Simpsons" 7F20 34 I will not show off (This was written in Blackletter.) "Three Men and a Comic Book" 7F21 35 I will not sleep through my education "Blood Feud" 7F22

Season 3

# Image Gag Episode Code 36 I am not a dentist "Stark Raving Dad" 7F24 37 Spitwads are not free speech "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington" 8F01 38 Nobody likes sunburn slappers "When Flanders Failed" 7F23 39 High explosives and school don't mix "Bart the Murderer" 8F03 During the episode: I will not bribe Principal Skinner 40 I will not squeak chalk (Bart makes the chalk squeak as he writes this.) "Homer Defined" 8F04 41 I will finish what I sta (written only once) "Like Father, Like Clown" 8F05 42 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror II" 8F02 43 "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender "Lisa's Pony" 8F06 44 I will not fake rabies "Saturdays of Thunder" 8F07 45 Underwear should be worn on the inside "Flaming Moe's" 8F08 46 The Christmas Pageant does not stink "Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk" 8F09 47 I will not torment the emotionally frail "I Married Marge" 8F10 48 I will not carve gods "Radio Bart" 8F11 49 No Gag No Gag "Lisa the Greek" 8F12 50 I will not spank others "Homer Alone" 8F14 51 No Gag No Gag "Bart the Lover" 8F16 52 I will not aim for the head "Homer at the Bat" 8F13 53 I will not barf unless I'm sick "Separate Vocations" 8F15 During the episode: I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty 54 I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge "Dog of Death" 8F17 55 I will not conduct my own fire drills "Colonel Homer" 8F19 56 Funny noises are not funny "Black Widower" 8F20 57 I will not spin the turtle "The Otto Show" 8F21 58 I will not snap bras "Bart's Friend Falls in Love" 8F22 59 I will not fake seizures "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?" 8F23

Season 4

# Image Gag Episode Code 60 This punishment is not boring and pointless "Kamp Krusty" 8F24 61 My name is not "Dr. Death" "A Streetcar Named Marge" 8F18 62 I will not defame New Orleans (Done as a response to "A Streetcar Named Marge", which created controversy in New Orleans from a song in said episode) "Homer the Heretic" 9F01 63 I will not prescribe medication "Lisa the Beauty Queen" 9F02 64 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror III" 9F04 65 I will not bury the new kid "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie" 9F03 During the episode, Marge writes: I will try to raise a better child 66 I will not teach others to fly "Marge Gets a Job" 9F05 67 I will not bring sheep to class "New Kid on the Block" 9F06 68 A burp is not an answer "Mr. Plow" 9F07 69 Teacher is not a leper "Lisa's First Word" 9F08 70 Coffee is not for kids (Each line becomes less legible and more scrawled) "Homer's Triple Bypass" 9F09 71 I will not eat things for money "Marge vs. the Monorail" 9F10 72 I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call "Selma's Choice" 9F11 73 The principal's toupée is not a frisbee "Brother from the Same Planet" 9F12 74 I will not call the principal "spud head" "I Love Lisa" 9F13 75 Goldfish don't bounce "Duffless" 9F14 76 Mud is not one of the 4 food groups "Last Exit to Springfield" 9F15 77 No one is interested in my underpants "So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show" 9F17 78 I will not sell miracle cures "The Front" 9F16 79 I will return the seeing-eye dog "Whacking Day" 9F18 80 I do not have diplomatic immunity "Marge in Chains" 9F20 81 I will not charge admission to the bathroom "Krusty Gets Kancelled" 9F19

Season 5

# Image Gag Episode Code 82 I will never win an Emmy "Homer's Barbershop Quartet" 9F21 83 The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy "Cape Feare" 9F22 84 No Gag No Gag "Homer Goes to College" 1F02 85 No Gag No Gag "Rosebud" 1F01 86 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror IV" 1F04 87 No Gag No Gag "Marge on the Lam" 1F03 88 No Gag No Gag "Bart's Inner Child" 1F05 89 No Gag No Gag "Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood" 1F06 90 All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy "The Last Temptation of Homer" 1F07 91 I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause "$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)" 1F08 92 I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers "Homer the Vigilante" 1F09 93 My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man "Bart Gets Famous" 1F11 94 I will not go near the kindergarten turtle "Homer and Apu" 1F10 95 No Gag No Gag "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy" 1F12 96 No Gag No Gag "Deep Space Homer" 1F13 97 I am not delightfully saucy "Homer Loves Flanders" 1F14 98 Organ transplants are best left to the professionals "Bart Gets an Elephant" 1F15 99 The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan" "Burns' Heir" 1F16 100 I will not celebrate meaningless milestones (This was the 100th episode aired.) "Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song" 1F18 101 There are plenty of businesses like show business "The Boy Who Knew Too Much" 1F19 102 I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball "Lady Bouvier's Lover" 1F21 103 Five days is not too long to wait for a gun "Secrets of a Successful Marriage" 1F20

Season 6

# Image Gag Episode Code 104 Beans are neither a fruit nor musical "Bart of Darkness" 1F22 105 No one is interested in my underpants "Lisa's Rival" 1F17 106 I will not use abbrev. "Another Simpsons Clip Show" 2F33 107 I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis, Jr. "Itchy & Scratchy Land" 2F01 108 No Gag No Gag "Sideshow Bob Roberts" 2F02 109 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror V" 2F03 110 I will not send lard through the mail "Bart's Girlfriend" 2F04 111 I will not dissect things unless instructed "Lisa on Ice" 2F05 112 I will not whittle hall passes out of soap "Homer Badman" 2F06 113 My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy" 2F07 114 Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough "Fear of Flying" 2F08 115 Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal "Homer the Great" 2F09 116 'Bagman' is not a legitimate career choice "And Maggie Makes Three" 2F10 117 Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does "Bart's Comet" 2F11 118 Next time it could be me on the scaffolding "Homie the Clown" 2F12 119 I will not hang donuts on my person "Bart vs. Australia" 2F13 120 I will remember to take my medication "Homer vs. Patty and Selma" 2F14 121 No Gag No Gag "A Star Is Burns" 2F31 122 I will not strut around like I own the place "Lisa's Wedding" 2F15 123 The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds" 2F18 124 I do not have power of attorney over first graders "The PTA Disbands" 2F19 125 Nerve gas is not a toy "'Round Springfield" 2F32 126 I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface "The Springfield Connection" 2F21 127 The First Amendment does not cover burping "Lemon of Troy" 2F22 128 This is not a clue... or is it? "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)" 2F16

Season 7

# Image Gag Episode Code 129 I will not complain about the solution when I hear it "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)" 2F20 130 "Bewitched" does not promote Satanism "Radioactive Man" 2F17 131 No one wants to hear from my armpits "Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily" 3F01 132 I am not a lean mean spitting machine "Bart Sells His Soul" 3F02 133 The boys' room is not a water park "Lisa the Vegetarian" 3F03 134 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror VI" 3F04 135 Indian burns are not our cultural heritage "King-Size Homer" 3F05 136 No Gag No Gag "Mother Simpson" 3F06 137 Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming" 3F08 138 I will only do this once a year (by "this", it means a clip show) "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular" 3F31 139 I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist "Marge Be Not Proud" 3F07 140 I am not certified to remove asbestos "Team Homer" 3F10 141 No Gag No Gag "Two Bad Neighbors" 3F09 142 No Gag No Gag "Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield" 3F11 143 No Gag No Gag "Bart the Fink" 3F12 144 No Gag No Gag "Lisa the Iconoclast" 3F13 145 No Gag No Gag "Homer the Smithers" 3F14 146 No Gag No Gag "The Day the Violence Died" 3F16 147 No Gag No Gag "A Fish Called Selma" 3F15 148 No Gag No Gag "Bart on the Road" 3F17 149 No Gag No Gag "22 Short Films About Springfield" 3F18 150 No Gag No Gag "Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"" 3F19 151 No Gag No Gag "Much Apu About Nothing" 3F20 152 No Gag No Gag "Homerpalooza" 3F21 153 No Gag No Gag "Summer of 4 Ft. 2" 3F22

Season 8

# Thumbnail Gag Episode Code 154 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror VII" 4F02 155 I did not learn everything I need to know from kindergarten "You Only Move Twice" 3F23 156 I am not my long-lost twin "The Homer They Fall" 4F03 157 No Gag No Gag "Burns, Baby Burns" 4F05 158 No Gag No Gag "Bart After Dark" 4F06 159 No Gag No Gag "A Milhouse Divided" 4F04 160 No Gag No Gag "Lisa's Date with Density" 4F01 During the episode, Lisa writes: I will not be a snickerpuss. 161 No Gag No Gag "Hurricane Neddy" 4F07 162 No Gag No Gag "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer" 3F24 163 The truth is not out there "The Springfield Files" 3G01 164 I am not licensed to do anything "The Twisted World of Marge Simpson" 4F08 165 No Gag No Gag "Mountain of Madness" 4F10 166 I will not hide the teacher's Prozac "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious" 3G03 167 No Gag No Gag "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show" 4F12 168 No Gag No Gag "Homer's Phobia" 4F11 169 No Gag No Gag "Brother from Another Series" 4F14 170 No Gag No Gag "My Sister, My Sitter" 4F13 171 No Gag No Gag "Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment" 4F15 172 No Gag No Gag "Grade School Confidential" 4F09 173 A fire drill does not demand a fire "The Canine Mutiny" 4F16 174 No Gag No Gag "The Old Man and the Lisa" 4F17 175 No Gag No Gag "In Marge We Trust" 4F18 176 No Gag No Gag "Homer's Enemy" 4F19 177 No Gag No Gag "The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase" 4F20 178 No Gag No Gag "The Secret War of Lisa Simpson" 4F21

Season 9

# Thumbnail Gag Episode Code 179 No Gag No Gag "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson" 4F22 180 No Gag No Gag "The Principal and the Pauper" 4F23 181 I no longer want my MTV "Lisa's Sax" 3G02 182 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror VIII" 5F02 183 Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story "The Cartridge Family" 5F01 184 I did not invent Irish dancing "Bart Star" 5F03 185 No Gag No Gag "The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons" 5F04 186 I will not tease Fatty "Lisa the Skeptic" 5F05 187 There was no Roman god named "Fartacus" "Realty Bites" 5F06 188 Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace" 5F07 189 No Gag No Gag "All Singing, All Dancing" 5F24 190 No Gag No Gag "Bart Carny" 5F08 191 Shooting paintballs is not an art form "The Joy of Sect" 5F23 192 No Gag No Gag "Das Bus" 5F11 193 Pain is not the cleanser "The Last Temptation of Krust" 5F10 194 Silly string is not a nasal spray "Dumbbell Indemnity" 5F12 195 No Gag No Gag "Lisa the Simpson" 4F24 196 I was not told to do this "This Little Wiggy" 5F13 197 My butt does not deserve a website "Simpson Tide" 3G04 198 I will not demand what I'm worth "The Trouble with Trillions" 5F14 199 No Gag No Gag "Girly Edition" 5F15 200 I will not mess with the opening credits (this was actually the couch gag for this episode) "Trash of the Titans" 5F09 201 No Gag No Gag "King of the Hill" 5F16 202 I am not the new Dalai Lama "Lost Our Lisa" 5F17 203 I was not the inspiration for "Kramer" "Natural Born Kissers" 5F18

Season 10

# Image Gag Episode Code 204 No Gag No Gag "Lard of the Dance" 5F20 205 I will not file frivolous lawsuits "The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace" 5F21 206 No Gag No Gag "Bart the Mother" 5F22 207 The Simpsons Halloween Special IX (This is written in blood with a paintbrush.) "Treehouse of Horror IX" AABF01 208 "butt.com" is not my E-mail address (This was changed to "butt.butt" in later airings since butt.com was revealed to be a real website. Butt.com still appeared in syndication, however) "When You Dish Upon a Star" 5F19 209 No one cares what my definition of "is" is "D'oh-in' in the Wind" AABF02 210 I will not scream for ice cream "Lisa Gets an "A"" AABF03 211 I am not a licensed hairstylist "Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"" AABF04 212 "The President did it" is not an excuse "Mayored to the Mob" AABF05 213 My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld "Viva Ned Flanders" AABF06 214 Sherri does not "got back" "Wild Barts Can't Be Broken" AABF07 215 I will not do "the dirty bird" "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday" AABF08 216 No one cares about my sciatica "Homer to the Max" AABF09 217 Hillbillies are people too "I'm with Cupid" AABF11 218 Grammar is not a time of waste "Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"" AABF10 219 I do not have diplomatic immunity "Make Room for Lisa" AABF12 220 It does not suck to be you "Maximum Homerdrive" AABF13 221 I cannot absolve sins "Simpsons Bible Stories" AABF14 During Lisa's dream in the episode: I will not deface (In hieroglyphics) 222 A trained ape could not teach gym "Mom and Pop Art" AABF15 223 Loose teeth don't need my help "The Old Man and the "C" Student" AABF16 224 I have neither been there nor done that "Monty Can't Buy Me Love" AABF17 225 No one wants to hear from my armpits "They Saved Lisa's Brain" AABF18 226 I'm so very tired "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo" AABF20

Season 11

# Image Gag Episode Code 227 Fridays are not "pants optional" "Beyond Blunderdome" AABF23 228 Pork is not a verb "Brother's Little Helper" AABF22 229 I am not the last Don "Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?" AABF21 230 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror X" BABF01 231 I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize "E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)" AABF19 232 I won't not use no double negatives "Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder" BABF02 233 Indian burns are not our cultural heritage "Eight Misbehavin'" BABF03 234 I can't see dead people "Take My Wife, Sleaze" BABF05 235 I will not sell my kidney on eBay "Grift of the Magi" BABF07 During the episode, Lisa writes: I will not do math in class 236 I will not create art from dung "Little Big Mom" BABF04 237 I will stop phoning it in "Faith Off" BABF06 238 Class clown is not a paid position "The Mansion Family" BABF08 239 Substitute teachers are not scabs "Saddlesore Galactica" BABF09 240 My suspension was not mutual "Alone Again, Natura-Diddily" BABF10 241 A belch is not an oral report "Missionary: Impossible" BABF11 242 Dodgeball stops at the gym door "Pygmoelian" BABF12 243 Non-flammable is not a challenge "Bart to the Future" BABF13 244 I was not touched "there" by an angel "Days of Wine and D'oh'ses" BABF14 245 I am not here on a fartball scholarship "Kill the Alligator and Run" BABF16 246 I will not dance on anyone's grave "Last Tap Dance in Springfield" BABF15 247 I cannot hire a substitute student "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge" BABF18 248 I will not obey the voices in my head "Behind the Laughter" BABF19

Season 12

{{Table| ! style="background-color: #e9d677; border: 1px solid #b0a266"|# ! style="background-color: #e9d677; border: 1px solid #b0a266"|Image ! style="background-color: #e9d677; border: 1px solid #b0a266"|Gag ! width="20%" style="background-color: #e9d677; border: 1px solid #b0a266"|Episode ! style="background-color: #e9d677; border: 1px solid #b0a266"|Code |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|249 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|No Gag | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|No Gag | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Treehouse of Horror XI" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|BABF21 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|250 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|I will not plant subliminal messagores | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"A Tale of Two Springfields" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|BABF20 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|251 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|I will not surprise the incontinent | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Insane Clown Poppy" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|BABF17 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|252 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|I was wrong with really that But the mold is not a fruit buddy when Orange got moldy up | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"The Mold Orange with Apple" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|BABF17 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|252 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|I am not the acting president | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Lisa the Tree Hugger" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF01 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|253 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|I was not the sixth Beatle | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Homer vs. Dignity" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF04 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|254 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|I will only provide a urine sample when asked | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"The Computer Wore Menace Shoes" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF02 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|255 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|The nurse is not dealing | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"The Great Money Caper" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF03 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" rowspan="2;"|256 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Science class should not end in tragedy | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" rowspan="2;"|"Skinner's Sense of Snow" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266;" rowspan="2;"|CABF06 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|During the episode, Skinner writes:
I ain't not a dorkus |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|257 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Network TV is not dead | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"HOMЯ" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|BABF22 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|258 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|I will not "let the dogs out" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Pokey Mom" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF05 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|259 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|I will not hide the teacher's medication | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Worst Episode Ever" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF08 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|260 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|I will not publish the principal's credit report | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Tennis the Menace" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF07 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|261 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|The hamster did not have a "full life" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Day of the Jackanapes" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF10 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|262 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|I will not buy a presidential pardon | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"New Kids on the Blecch" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF12 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|263 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Hungry, Hungry Homer" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF09 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|264 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|I will not scare the vice president | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Bye, Bye, Nerdie" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF11 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|265 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|I will not flush evidence | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Simpson Safari" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF13 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|266 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Fire is not the cleanser | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Trilogy of Error" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF14 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|267 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Genetics is not an excuse | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"I'm Goin' to Praiseland" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF15 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|268 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|Today is not Mothra's Day | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Children of a Lesser Clod" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF16 |- | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|269 | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "| | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|I should not be twenty-one by now | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|"Simpsons Tall Tales" | style="text-align: center; background-color: #f0e3a2; border: 1px solid #b0a266; "|CABF17

Season 13

# Image Gag Episode Code 270 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XII" CABF19 271 Nobody reads these anymore "The Parent Rap" CABF22 272 A burp in a jar is not a science project "Homer the Moe" CABF20 273 Fun does not have a size "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love" CABF18 274 I am not Charlie Brown on acid "The Blunder Years" CABF21 275 I do not have a cereal named after me "She of Little Faith" DABF02 276 No Gag No Gag "Brawl in the Family" DABF01 277 No Gag No Gag "Sweets and Sour Marge" DABF03 278 No Gag No Gag "Jaws Wired Shut" DABF05 279 I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers "Half-Decent Proposal" DABF04 280 The Giving Tree is not a chump "The Bart Wants What It Wants" DABF06 281 Making Milhouse cry is not a science project "The Lastest Gun in the West" DABF07 282 No Gag No Gag "The Old Man and the Key" DABF09 283 Vampire is not a career choice "Tales from the Public Domain" DABF08 284 No Gag No Gag "Blame It on Lisa" DABF10 285 No Gag No Gag "Weekend at Burnsie's" DABF11 286 No Gag No Gag "Gump Roast" DABF12 287 No Gag No Gag "I Am Furious (Yellow)" DABF13 288 I will never lie about being cancelled again "The Sweetest Apu" DABF14 289 No Gag No Gag "Little Girl in the Big Ten" DABF15 290 No Gag No Gag "The Frying Game" DABF16 291 No Gag No Gag "Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge" DABF17

Season 14

# Image Gag Episode Code 292 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XIII" DABF19 293 No Gag No Gag "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation" DABF22 294 Fish do not like coffee "Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade" DABF20 295 No Gag No Gag "Large Marge" DABF18 296 Milhouse did not test cootie positive "Helter Shelter" DABF21 297 No Gag No Gag "The Great Louse Detective" EABF01 298 No Gag No Gag "Special Edna" EABF02 299 No Gag No Gag "The Dad Who Knew Too Little" EABF03 300 This school does not need a "regime change" "The Strong Arms of the Ma" EABF04 301 SpongeBob is not a contraceptive "Pray Anything" EABF06 302 I will not (Bart then destroys the chalkboard with an axe and runs out the school laughing.) "Barting Over" EABF05 303 No Gag No Gag "I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can" EABF07 304 No Gag No Gag "A Star Is Born Again" EABF08 305 No Gag No Gag "Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington" EABF09 306 No Gag No Gag "C.E. D'oh" EABF10 307 No Gag No Gag "'Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky" EABF11 308 No Gag No Gag "Three Gays of the Condo" EABF12 309 No Gag No Gag "Dude, Where's My Ranch?" EABF13 310 My pen is not a booger launcher "Old Yeller-Belly" EABF14 311 No Gag No Gag "Brake My Wife, Please" EABF15 312 Sandwiches should not contain sand "The Bart of War" EABF16 313 No Gag No Gag "Moe Baby Blues" EABF17

Season 15

# Image Gag Episode Code 314 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XIV" EABF21 315 No Gag No Gag "My Mother the Carjacker" EABF18 316 No Gag No Gag "The President Wore Pearls" EABF20 317 No Gag No Gag "The Regina Monologues" EABF22 318 No Gag No Gag "The Fat and the Furriest" EABF19 319 Over forty & single is not funny "Today I Am a Clown" FABF01 320 No Gag No Gag "'Tis the Fifteenth Season" FABF02 321 No Gag No Gag "Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens and Gays" FABF03 322 No Gag No Gag "I, (Annoyed Grunt)-bot" FABF04 323 No Gag No Gag "Diatribe of a Mad Housewife" FABF05 324 No Gag No Gag "Margical History Tour" FABF06 325 No Gag No Gag "Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore" FABF07 326 No Gag No Gag "Smart and Smarter" FABF09 327 I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be "The Ziff Who Came to Dinner" FABF08 328 No Gag No Gag "Co-Dependent's Day" FABF10 329 No Gag No Gag "The Wandering Juvie" FABF11 330 No Gag No Gag "My Big Fat Geek Wedding" FABF12 331 No Gag No Gag "Catch 'Em If You Can" FABF14 332 No Gag No Gag "Simple Simpson" FABF15 333 No Gag No Gag "The Way We Weren't" FABF13 334 No Gag No Gag "Bart-Mangled Banner" FABF17 335 No Gag No Gag "Fraudcast News" FABF18

Season 16

# Image Gag Episode Code 336 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XV" FABF23 337 No Gag No Gag "All's Fair in Oven War" FABF20 338 No Gag No Gag "Sleeping with the Enemy" FABF19 339 Poking a dead raccoon is not research "She Used to Be My Girl" FABF22 340 No Gag No Gag "Fat Man and Little Boy" FABF21 341 No Gag No Gag "Midnight Rx" FABF16 342 No Gag No Gag "Mommie Beerest" GABF01 343 No Gag No Gag "Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass" GABF02 344 No Gag No Gag "Pranksta Rap" GABF03 345 No Gag No Gag "There's Something About Marrying" GABF04 346 Beer in a milk carton is not milk "On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister" GABF05 347 No Gag No Gag "Goo Goo Gai Pan" GABF06 348 No Gag No Gag "Mobile Homer" GABF07 349 No Gag No Gag "The Seven-Beer Snitch" GABF08 350 No Gag No Gag "Future-Drama" GABF12 351 No Gag No Gag "Don't Fear the Roofer" GABF10 352 No Gag No Gag "The Heartbroke Kid" GABF11 353 No Gag No Gag "A Star Is Torn" GABF13 354 No Gag No Gag "Thank God It's Doomsday" GABF14 355 A Booger is not a bookmark "Home Away from Homer" GABF15 356 No Gag No Gag "The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star" GABF09

Season 17

# Image Gag Episode Code 357 Does any kid still do this anymore? "The Bonfire of the Manatees" GABF18 358 No Gag No Gag "The Girl Who Slept Too Little" GABF16 359 No Gag No Gag "Milhouse of Sand and Fog" GABF19 360 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XVI" GABF17 361 No Gag No Gag "Marge's Son Poisoning" GABF20 362 No Gag No Gag "See Homer Run" GABF21 363 No Gag No Gag "The Last of the Red Hat Mamas" GABF22 364 No Gag No Gag "The Italian Bob" HABF02 365 No Gag No Gag "Simpsons Christmas Stories" HABF01 366 I am not smarter than the President "Homer's Paternity Coot" HABF03 367 Teacher was not dumped—it was mutual "We're on the Road to D'ohwhere" HABF04 368 No Gag No Gag "My Fair Laddy" HABF05 369 No Gag No Gag "The Seemingly Never-Ending Story" HABF06 370 No Gag No Gag "Bart Has Two Mommies" HABF07 371 250px First airing, live action opening: I will not eat things for money "Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife" HABF08 Subsequent airings: I will not laminate dog doo 372 I will not flip the classroom upside down (The classroom is flipped upside down.) "Million-Dollar Abie" HABF09 373 No Gag No Gag "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore" HABF10 374 No Gag No Gag "The Wettest Stories Ever Told" HABF11 375 No Gag No Gag "Girls Just Want to Have Sums" HABF12 376 I will not leak the plot of the movie "Regarding Margie" HABF13 377 Je ne parle pas français ("I do not speak French.") "The Monkey Suit" HABF14 378 Have a great summer, everyone "Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play" HABF16

Season 18

# Image Gag Episode Code 379 No Gag No Gag "The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer" HABF15 380 No Gag No Gag "Jazzy and the Pussycats" HABF18 381 No Gag No Gag "Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em" HABF20 During the episode, Skinner writes: A baby beat me up 382 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XVII" HABF17 383 We are not all naked under our clothes "G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)" HABF21 384 No Gag No Gag "Moe'N'a Lisa" HABF19 385 No Gag No Gag "Ice Cream of Margie (with the Light Blue Hair)" HABF22 386 No Gag No Gag "The Haw-Hawed Couple" JABF02 387 Frankincense is not a monster "Kill Gil, Volumes I & II" JABF01 388 No Gag No Gag "The Wife Aquatic" JABF03 389 No Gag No Gag "Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Three Times" JABF05 390 No Gag No Gag "Little Big Girl" JABF04 During the episode: So long suckers 391 No Gag No Gag "Springfield Up" JABF07 392 No Gag No Gag "Yokel Chords" JABF09 393 No Gag No Gag "Rome-Old and Juli-Eh" JABF08 394 Global Warming did not eat my homework "Homerazzi" JABF06 395 No Gag No Gag "Marge Gamer" JABF10 396 No Gag No Gag "The Boys of Bummer" JABF11 397 I will not look up how much teacher makes "Crook and Ladder" JABF13 398 Pearls are not oyster barf "Stop, or My Dog Will Shoot!" JABF12 399 No Gag No Gag "24 Minutes" JABF14 400 No Gag No Gag "You Kent Always Say What You Want" JABF15

The Simpsons Movie

Airdate Picture Gag July 27, 2007 I will not illegally download this movie

Season 19

# Image Gag Episode Code 401 I will not wait 20 years to make another movie "He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs" JABF20 402 The Wall Street Journal is better than ever "The Homer of Seville" JABF18 403 No Gag No Gag "Midnight Towboy" JABF21 404 I am not a FDIC-insured bank. "I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" JABF19 405 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XVIII" JABF16 406 There is no such thing as an iPoddy "Little Orphan Millie" JABF22 407 The Pilgrims were not illegal aliens "Husbands and Knives" JABF17 408 No Gag No Gag "Funeral for a Fiend" KABF01 409 The capital of Montana is not "Hannah" "Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind" KABF02 410 Teacher did not pay too much for her condo "E Pluribus Wiggum" KABF03 411 No Gag No Gag "That '90s Show" KABF04 412 No Gag No Gag "Love, Springfieldian Style" KABF05 413 The art teacher is fat, not pregnant "The Debarted" KABF06 414 No Gag No Gag "Dial "N" for Nerder" KABF07 415 No Gag No Gag "Smoke on the Daughter" KABF08 416 No Gag No Gag "Papa Don't Leech" KABF09 417 A person's a person, no mater how Ralph "Apocalypse Cow" KABF10 418 No Gag No Gag "Any Given Sundance" KABF11 419 This punishment is not medieval. [in medieval writing style] "Mona Leaves-a" KABF12 420 No Gag No Gag "All About Lisa" KABF13

Season 20

# Image Gag Episode Code 421 No Gag No Gag "Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes" KABF17 422 Teacher's diet is working "Lost Verizon" KABF15 423 There is no such month as Rocktober "Double, Double, Boy in Trouble" KABF14 424 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XIX" KABF16 425 I did not see teacher siphoning gas "Dangerous Curves" KABF18 426 No Gag No Gag "Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words" KABF19 427 Prosperity is just around the corner Additionally, during the couch gag: I will not bring the chalkboard home (The chalkboard Bart is writing on has taken the place of the couch in the Simpsons' living room) "MyPods and Boomsticks" KABF20 428 Jesus is not mad His birthday is on Christmas "The Burns and the Bees" KABF21 429 I will not use permanent ink on the chalkboard "Lisa the Drama Queen" KABF22 430 250px HDTV is worth every cent (This was the first episode to air in HD.) "Take My Life, Please" LABF01 431 "March Madness" is not an excuse for missing school "How the Test Was Won" LABF02 432 I will not have fun with educational toys "No Loan Again, Naturally" LABF03 433 No Gag No Gag "Gone Maggie Gone" LABF04 434 Four leaf clovers are not mutant freaks "In the Name of the Grandfather" LABF11 435 My piggy bank is not entitled to TARP funds "Wedding for Disaster" LABF05 436 No Gag No Gag "Eeny Teeny Maya, Moe" LABF06 437 I will not mock teacher's outdated cell phone "The Good, the Sad, and the Drugly" LABF07 438 I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy "Father Knows Worst" LABF08 439 No Gag No Gag "Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh" LABF10 440 No Gag No Gag "Four Great Women and a Manicure" LABF09 441 It's 'Facebook', not 'Assbook' "Coming to Homerica" LABF12

Season 21

# Image Gag Episode Code 442 The class hamster isn't just sleeping "Homer the Whopper" LABF13 443 Chalkboarding is not torture "Bart Gets a "Z"" LABF15 444 I am not allergic to long division "The Great Wife Hope" LABF16 445 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XX" LABF14 446 I do not have the hots for my mom "The Devil Wears Nada" LABF17 447 Halloween does not kick Thanksgiving's ass "Pranks and Greens" LABF18 448 Teachers' unions are not ruining this country "Rednecks and Broomsticks" LABF19 449 No Gag No Gag "Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou?" MABF01 450 No Gag No Gag "Thursdays with Abie" MABF02 451 The world may end in 2012, but this show won't "Once Upon a Time in Springfield" LABF20 452 No Gag No Gag "Million Dollar Maybe" MABF03 453 No Gag No Gag "Boy Meets Curl" MABF05 454 No Gag No Gag "The Color Yellow" MABF06 455 No Gag No Gag "Postcards from the Wedge" MABF05 456 WWII could not beat up WWI "Stealing First Base" MABF07 457 No Gag No Gag "The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed" MABF10 458 Hot dogs are not bookmarks "American History X-cellent" MABF08 459 This counts as gym and art class "Chief of Hearts" MABF09 460 Original airing: South Park, we'd stand beside you if we weren't so scared International/online version: Je ne suis pas français (I am not French) "The Squirt and the Whale" MABF14 461 No Gag No Gag "To Surveil with Love" MABF12 462 Eating my vegetables IS NOT a Mother's Day present "Moe Letter Blues" MABF13 463 Batman is not 'nothing' without his utility belt "The Bob Next Door" MABF11 464 End of "Lost": It was all the dog's dream. Watch us. "Judge Me Tender" MABF15

Season 22

# Image Gag Episode Code 465 When I slept in class it was not to help Leo DiCaprio "Elementary School Musical" MABF21 466 I did not see Teacher applying for welfare "Loan-a Lisa" MABF17 467 I must not write all over the walls (in the meantime is written all over the walls) "MoneyBart" MABF18 468 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XXI" MABF16 469 No Gag No Gag "Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life" MABF20 470 No Gag No Gag "The Fool Monty" NABF01 471 "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" is as good as "A Charlie Brown Christmas" "How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window?" NABF02 472 No Gag No Gag "The Fight Before Christmas" MABF22 473 Candy canes are not elf bones "Donnie Fatso" MABF19 474 January is not Bart History Month "Moms I'd Like to Forget" NABF03 475 No Gag No Gag "Flaming Moe" NABF04 476 Prince is not the son of Martin Luther King "Homer the Father" NABF05 477 I will not make fun of Cupid's dink "The Blue and the Gray" NABF06 478 No Gag No Gag "Angry Dad: The Movie" NABF07 479 I'm not here on a spitball scholarship "The Scorpion's Tale" NABF08 480 "Daylight Savings" is not a failed bank "A Midsummer's Nice Dreams" NABF09 481 I will not ridicule teacher's Final Four bracket "Love Is a Many-Strangled Thing" NABF10 In-episode (Homer): I'm a grown man who's scared of his own son 482 No Gag No Gag "The Great Simpsina" NABF11 483 No Gag No Gag "The Real Housewives of Fat Tony" NABF12 484 I do not deserve a Mother's Day gift for being "one badass mother" "Homer Scissorhands" NABF13 485 Syndicated version: It's Kristen Schaal, not Kristen Schall "500 Keys" NABF14 International/online version: Guinea Pigs should not be used as "Guinea Pigs" 486 No Gag No Gag "The Ned-liest Catch" NABF15

Season 23

# Image Gag Episode Code 487 No Gag No Gag "The Falcon and the D'ohman" NABF16 488 It's not too early to speculate about the 2016 election "Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts" NABF17 489 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XXII" NABF19 490 It's November 6th--How come we're not airing a Halloween show? "Replaceable You" NABF21 491 No Gag No Gag "The Food Wife" NABF20 492 No Gag No Gag "The Book Job" NABF22 493 No Gag No Gag "The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants" PABF01 494 "Caucus" is not a dirty word "The Ten-Per-Cent Solution" PABF02 495 Cafeteria trays are not toboggans "Holidays of Future Passed" NABF18 496 Tintin did not sucksuck "Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson" PABF03 497 We do need no education "The D'oh-cial Network" PABF04 498 There's no proven link between raisins and boogers "Moe Goes from Rags to Riches" PABF05 499 I will not replace a candy heart with a frog's heart "The Daughter Also Rises" PABF06 500 Milhouse writes: Bart's earned a day off "At Long Last Leave" PABF07 During the episode, Bart writes on the wall in spray paint: I ♥ the breakdown of society 501 No Gag No Gag "Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart" PABF09 502 No Gag No Gag "How I Wet Your Mother" PABF08 503 No Gag No Gag "Them, Robot" PABF10 504 Original/UK airing: The true location of Springfield is in any state but yours "Beware My Cheating Bart" PABF11 International (except UK)/online version: Teacher does not have to pay an "Ugly Tax" 505 No Gag No Gag "A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again" PABF12 506 No Gag No Gag "The Spy Who Learned Me" PABF13 507 Call your mother during the commercials. "Ned 'n Edna's Blend Agenda" PABF15 508 No Gag No Gag "Lisa Goes Gaga" PABF14

Season 24

# Image Gag Episode Code 509 I will not wear white after Labor Day (He is wearing a white shirt) "Moonshine River" PABF21 510 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XXIII" PABF17 511 No Gag No Gag "Adventures in Baby-Getting" PABF18 512 I will not concede the election till Karl Rove gives me permission "Gone Abie Gone" PABF16 513 I want to secede but don't know which state I'm in "Penny-Wiseguys" PABF19 514 20 more shoplifting days till Christmas "A Tree Grows in Springfield" PABF22 515 No Gag No Gag "The Day the Earth Stood Cool" PABF20 516 No Gag No Gag "To Cur, with Love" RABF01 517 Teacher did not get fat over the holidays "Homer Goes to Prep School" RABF02 518 I will obey Oscar® campaign rules from now on "A Test Before Trying" RABF03 519 No Gag No Gag "The Changing of the Guardian" RABF04 520 I was not nominated for "Best Spoken Swear Word" "Love Is a Many-Splintered Thing" RABF07 521 No Gag No Gag "Hardly Kirk-ing" RABF05 522 No Gag No Gag "Gorgeous Grampa" RABF06 523 I'm sorry I broke the blackboard. (Bart is writing with a black marker on a whiteboard) "Black-Eyed, Please" RABF09 524 Jesus's last words were not "TGIF" "Dark Knight Court" RABF10 525 No Gag No Gag "What Animated Women Want" RABF08 526 No Gag No Gag "Pulpit Friction" RABF11 527 No Gag No Gag "Whiskey Business" RABF13 528 This School is not falling apart (then the blackboard falls apart) "The Fabulous Faker Boy" RABF12 529 No Gag No Gag "The Saga of Carl" RABF14 530 No Gag No Gag "Dangers on a Train" RABF17

Season 25

# Image Gag Episode Code 531 25 years and they can't come up with a new punishment. "Homerland" RABF20 532 300px All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy "Treehouse of Horror XXIV" RABF16 533 We'll really miss you Mrs. K. (Written once, Bart is sad.) (Marcia Wallace, the voice actor for Edna Krabappel, passed away nine days before this episode aired.) "Four Regrettings and a Funeral" RABF18 534 My School Schedule does not include a bye week. "YOLO" RABF22 During the episode: I will not drop a stitch 535 Rocktober is not followed by Blowvember "Labor Pains" RABF19 536 No Gag No Gag "The Kid Is All Right" SABF02 537 I will stop asking when Santa goes to the bathroom "Yellow Subterfuge" SABF04 538 I will not call my teacher "Prancer" and "Vixen" "White Christmas Blues" SABF01 539 No Gag No Gag "Steal This Episode" SABF05 540 Original airing: Judas Priest is not "Death Metal" "Married to the Blob" SABF03 International/online airing: If you haven't broken your Christmas presents yet, you're not trying 541 No Gag No Gag "Specs and the City" SABF06 542 A bracket-style tournament of characters with Homer and Jasper in the finals "Diggs" SABF08 543 No Gag No Gag "The Man Who Grew Too Much" SABF07 544 My dad's already drunk for St. Patrick's. "The Winter of His Content" SABF09 545 No Gag No Gag "The War of Art" SABF10 546 No Gag No Gag "You Don't Have to Live Like a Referee" SABF11 547 No Gag No Gag "Luca$" SABF12 548 No Gag No Gag "Days of Future Future" SABF13 549 You can't play April Fool's jokes on April 27th "What to Expect When Bart's Expecting" SABF14 550 No Gag No Gag "Brick Like Me" RABF21 551 No Gag No Gag "Pay Pal" SABF15 552 No Gag No Gag "The Yellow Badge of Cowardge" SABF18

Season 26

# Image Gag Episode Code 553 Spoiler Alert: Unfortunately, my Dad Doesn't Die "Clown in the Dumps" SABF20 554 No Gag No Gag "The Wreck of the Relationship" SABF17 555 No Gag No Gag "Super Franchise Me" SABF19 556 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XXV" SABF21 557 No Gag No Gag "Opposites A-Frack" SABF22 558 No Gag No Gag "Simpsorama" SABF16 559 No Gag No Gag "Blazed and Confused" TABF01 560 No Gag No Gag "Covercraft" TABF02 561 Reindeer Meat Does not taste like Chicken "I Won't Be Home for Christmas" TABF03 562 No Gag No Gag "The Man Who Came to Be Dinner" RABF15 563 Snowmen don't have carrot penises "Bart's New Friend" TABF05 564 No Gag No Gag "The Musk Who Fell to Earth" TABF04 565 No Gag No Gag "Walking Big & Tall" TABF06 566 Pixel art is not real art "My Fare Lady" TABF07 567 No Gag No Gag "The Princess Guide" TABF08 568 No Gag No Gag "Sky Police" TABF09 569 No Gag No Gag "Waiting for Duffman" TABF10 570 No Gag No Gag "Peeping Mom" TABF11 571 Lisa writes: I will not pay my sister to do my punishment. "The Kids Are All Fight" TABF12 572 No Gag No Gag "Let's Go Fly a Coot" TABF13 573 No Gag No Gag "Bull-E" "Bull-E" 574 No Gag No Gag "Mathlete's Feat" TABF16 300px During the episode: I will not fight the future

Season 27

# Image Gag Episode Code 575 No Gag No Gag "Every Man's Dream" TABF14 576 No Gag No Gag "'Cue Detective" TABF17 577 No Gag No Gag "Puffless" TABF19 578 No Gag No Gag "Halloween of Horror" TABF22 579 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XXVI" TABF18 580 No Gag No Gag "Friend with Benefit" TABF21 581 No Gag No Gag "Lisa with an "S"" TABF20 582 No Gag No Gag "'Paths of Glory" VABF01 583 No Gag No Gag "Barthood" VABF02 584 No Gag No Gag "The Girl Code" VABF03 585 No Gag No Gag "Teenage Mutant Milk-Caused Hurdles" VABF04 586 No Gag No Gag "Much Apu About Something" VABF05 587 Hershey kisses do not drop from Cupid's butt "Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4" VABF07 588 No Gag No Gag "Gal of Constant Sorrow" VABF06 589 No Gag No Gag "Lisa the Veterinarian" VABF08 590 No Gag No Gag "The Marge-ian Chronicles" VABF09 591 If Villanova doesn't win we lose everything "The Burns Cage" VABF10 592 Skinner writes: Never lose a bet to Bart Simpson "How Lisa Got Her Marge Back" VABF11 593 Dad swears he'll get his taxes in soon "Fland Canyon" VABF12 594 Dirty clothes are not a Mother's Day gift "To Courier with Love" VABF14 595 No Gag No Gag "Simprovised" VABF13 596 Milhouse does not live below the puberty line "Orange Is the New Yellow" VABF15

Season 28

# Image Gag Episode Code 597 This arm needs Tommy John surgery "Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus" VABF20 598 I will stop losing 50% of my NFL lead-in "Friends and Family" VABF18 599 No Gag No Gag "The Town" VABF17 600 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XXVII" VABF16 601 The first episode of the second 600 "Trust but Clarify" VABF21 602 No Gag No Gag "There Will Be Buds" VABF22 603 Being right sucks (This was the first episode to air after the 2016 presidential election, which Donald Trump won, a result predicted in "Bart to the Future") "Havana Wild Weekend" VABF19 604 I will watch all 600 episodes without sleeping "Dad Behavior" WABF01 605 No Gag No Gag "The Last Traction Hero" WABF03 606 No Gag No Gag "The Nightmare After Krustmas" WABF02 607 No Gag No Gag "Pork and Burns" WABF06 608 609 No Gag No Gag "The Great Phatsby" WABF04 WABF05 610 If we're so good at predicting how come my dad bet on Atlanta "Fatzcarraldo" WABF07 611 No Gag No Gag "The Cad and the Hat" WABF08 612 We're the only house where the Christmas tree is still up "Kamp Krustier" WABF09 613 No Gag No Gag "22 for 30" WABF10 614 Studying is not "appropriating nerd culture" "A Father's Watch" WABF11 In-episode (Lisa): Everybody's a winner In-episode (Bart): I did nothing wrong this week 615 No Gag No Gag "The Caper Chase" WABF12 616 No Gag No Gag "Looking for Mr. Goodbart" WABF13 In-episode (Grampa): I just wrote one and I'm already tired 617 No Gag No Gag "Moho House" WABF14 618 Thank you for 28 great years... Taylor Swift "Dogtown" WABF15

Season 29

# Image Gag Episode Code 619 No Gag No Gag "The Serfsons" WABF17 620 No Gag No Gag "Springfield Splendor" WABF22 621 It's unfair to judge a president on his first 300 days "Whistler's Father" WABF16 622 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XXVIII" WABF18 623 Hooligan is not a profession "Grampy Can Ya Hear Me" WABF19 624 I will not ask my guidance counselor why he couldn't get a better job "The Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to Be" WABF20 625 We do not live in our own pee "Singin' in the Lane" WABF21 626 No Gag No Gag "Mr. Lisa's Opus" XABF01 627 Snow Angels are not frozen hobos "Gone Boy" XABF02 628 No Gag No Gag "Haw-Haw Land" XABF03 629 Homer writes: "Strangling is not an effective parenting tool" "Frink Gets Testy" XABF04 630 No Gag No Gag "Homer Is Where the Art Isn't" XABF05 631 No Gag No Gag "3 Scenes Plus a Tag from a Marriage" XABF06 632 Bart writes "This is the last episode", then flips over the blackboard, and "April Fool" is written on it. "Fears of a Clown" XABF08 633 April Showers did not date the President "No Good Read Goes Unpunished" XABF07 634 No Gag No Gag "King Leer" XABF10 635 Homer writes: "I will not bet with Bart on the Final four" "Lisa Gets the Blues" XABF11 636 No Gag No Gag "Forgive and Regret" XABF09 637 No Gag No Gag "Left Behind" XABF12 638 No Gag No Gag "Throw Grampa from the Dane" XABF13 639 No Gag No Gag "Flanders' Ladder" XABF14

Season 30

# Image Gag Episode Code 640 No Gag No Gag "Bart's Not Dead" XABF19 641 No Gag No Gag "Heartbreak Hotel" XABF15 642 No Gag No Gag "My Way or the Highway to Heaven" XABF17 643 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XXIX" XABF16 644 No Gag No Gag "Baby You Can't Drive My Car" XABF18 645 No Gag No Gag "From Russia Without Love" XABF20 In-episode (on the street): I will not order pregnant rats 646 No Gag No Gag "Werking Mom" XABF21 647 No Gag No Gag "Krusty the Clown" XABF22 648 My pre-Christmas behavior really helps the coal industry "Daddicus Finch" YABF01 649 The fat man who works one night a year is my dad "'Tis the 30th Season" YABF02 650 My new year's resolution was to quit school "Mad About the Toy" YABF03 651 No Gag No Gag "The Girl on the Bus" YABF04 652 No Gag No Gag "I'm Dancing as Fat as I Can" YABF06 653 No Gag No Gag "The Clown Stays in the Picture" YABF05 654 Chili fries do not go in like a lamb and out like a lion "101 Mitigations" YABF07 655 Bart draws a bracket tournament of his favorite person, with Krusty winning "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" YABF08 656 No Gag No Gag "E My Sports" YABF09 657 No Gag No Gag "Bart vs. Itchy & Scratchy" YABF10 658 I am not a grandmother "Girl's in the Band" YABF11 659 I will not write "Audit please" on Homer's tax return "I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'oh" YABF12 660 Bart writes "Haw Haw!" on it, but then hits the blackboard, that turning around reveals Nelson attached to it with tape "D'oh Canada" YABF14 661 No Gag No Gag "Woo-Hoo Dunnit?" YABF15 662 In-episode: I will not shirk my responsibilities (also written by Marge) "Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion" YABF16

Season 31

# Image Gag Episode Code 663 No Gag No Gag "The Winter of Our Monetized Content" YABF19 664 No Gag No Gag "Go Big or Go Homer" YABF21 665 No Gag No Gag "The Fat Blue Line" YABF22 666 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XXX" YABF18 667 No Gag No Gag "Gorillas on the Mast" YABF20 668 Daylight savings isn't something I can spend "Marge the Lumberjill" ZABF02 669 No Gag No Gag "Livin La Pura Vida" ZABF03 670 No Gag No Gag "Thanksgiving of Horror" YABF17 671 Todd writes "Idle hands are the Devil's tools" with two hands. "Todd, Todd, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?" ZABF04 672 No Gag No Gag "Bobby, It's Cold Outside" ZABF01 673 Teacher spent New Year's Eve at home by choice "Hail to the Teeth" ZABF05 674 No Gag No Gag "The Miseducation of Lisa Simpson" ZABF06 675 No Gag No Gag "Frinkcoin" ZABF07 676 No Gag No Gag "Bart the Bad Guy" ZABF08 677 No Gag No Gag "Screenless" ZABF09 678 Lisa writes "Bart is at a Doctor's appointment" "Better Off Ned" ZABF11 679 No Gag No Gag "Highway to Well" ZABF10 680 "School Online", written on the school blackboard "The Incredible Lightness of Being a Baby" YABF13 681 Homer writes "How did the boy get me to do this?" with Bart watching "Warrin' Priests: Part One" ZABF12 682 I will stop reminding the principal I have a later bedtime than he does "Warrin' Priests: Part Two" ZABF13 683 No Gag No Gag "The Hateful Eight-Year-Olds" ZABF14 684 No Gag No Gag "The Way of the Dog" ZABF16

Season 32

# Image Gag Episode Code 685 No Gag No Gag "Undercover Burns" ZABF19 686 No Gag No Gag "I, Carumbus" ZABF18 687 No Gag No Gag "Now Museum, Now You Don't" ZABF21 688 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XXXI" ZABF17 689 No Gag No Gag "The 7 Beer Itch" ZABF15 690 No Gag No Gag "Podcast News" ZABF22 691 No Gag No Gag "Three Dreams Denied" QABF02 692 No Gag No Gag "The Road to Cincinnati" ZABF20 693 I will not put laxatives in Santa's cookies "Sorry Not Sorry" QABF01 694 No Gag No Gag "A Springfield Summer Christmas for Christmas" QABF03 695 No Gag No Gag "The Dad-Feelings Limited" QABF04 696 I will never be a teacher's pet (During the episode.) "Diary Queen" QABF05 697 No Gag No Gag "Wad Goals" QABF06 698 No Gag No Gag "Yokel Hero" QABF07 699 No Gag No Gag "Do PizzaBots Dream of Electric Guitars?" QABF08 700 No Gag No Gag "Manger Things" QABF09 701 No Gag No Gag "Uncut Femmes" QABF10 702 No Gag No Gag "Burger Kings" QABF11 703 No Gag No Gag "Panic on the Streets of Springfield" QABF12 704 No Gag No Gag "Mother and Child Reunion" QABF14 705 I will not take advantage of Milhouse Written by Milhouse while Bart escapes through the window. (During the episode, on Terrance's evidence board.) "The Man from G.R.A.M.P.A." QABF13 706 No Gag No Gag "The Last Barfighter" QABF14

Season 33

# Image Gag Episode Code 707 No Gag No Gag "The Star of the Backstage" QABF17 708 No Gag No Gag "Bart's in Jail!" QABF18 709 During the episode: I hate rhyming couplets "Treehouse of Horror XXXII" QABF16 710 No Gag No Gag "The Wayz We Were" QABF19 711 No Gag No Gag "Lisa's Belly" QABF20 712 No Gag No Gag "A Serious Flanders (Part 1)" QABF21 713 No Gag No Gag "A Serious Flanders (Part 2)" QABF22 714 No Gag No Gag "Portrait of a Lackey on Fire" UABF01 715 No Gag No Gag "Mothers and Other Strangers" UABF02 716 No Gag No Gag "A Made Maggie" UABF03 717 No Gag No Gag "The Longest Marge" UABF05 718 No Gag No Gag "Pixelated and Afraid" UABF04 719 No Gag No Gag "Boyz N the Highlands" UABF06 720 No Gag No Gag "You Won't Believe What This Episode Is About – Act Three Will Shock You!" UABF07 721 No Gag No Gag "Bart the Cool Kid" UABF08 722 No Gag No Gag "Pretty Whittle Liar" UABF09 723 No Gag No Gag "The Sound of Bleeding Gums" UABF10 724 During the episode: I will not express my feelings through chaos "My Octopus and a Teacher" UABF11 725 No Gag No Gag "Girls Just Shauna Have Fun" UABF12 726 During the end credits: I will not violate the law of entropy "Marge the Meanie" UABF15 727 No Gag No Gag "Meat Is Murder" UABF13 728 No Gag No Gag UABF14 "Poorhouse Rock"

Season 34

# Image Gag Episode Code 729 No Gag No Gag "Habeas Tortoise" UABF16 730 No Gag No Gag "One Angry Lisa" UABF19 731 No Gag No Gag "Lisa the Boy Scout" UABF21 732 No Gag No Gag "The King of Nice" UABF20 733 No Gag No Gag "Not It" UABF17 734 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XXXIII" UABF18 735 No Gag No Gag "From Beer to Paternity" OABF01 736 No Gag No Gag "Step Brother from the Same Planet" UABF22 737 No Gag No Gag "When Nelson Met Lisa" OABF02 738 No Gag No Gag "Game Done Changed" OABF03 739 No Gag No Gag "Top Goon" OABF04 740 No Gag No Gag "My Life as a Vlog" OABF05 741 No Gag No Gag "The Many Saints of Springfield" OABF06 742 No Gag No Gag "Carl Carlson Rides Again" OABF07 743 No Gag No Gag "Bartless" OABF08 744 No Gag No Gag "Hostile Kirk Place" OABF09 745 No Gag No Gag "Pin Gal" OABF10 746 No Gag No Gag "Fan-ily Feud" OABF11 747 No Gag No Gag "Write Off This Episode" OABF12 748 No Gag No Gag "The Very Hungry Caterpillars" OABF14 749 No Gag No Gag "Clown V. Board of Education" OABF15 750 I will not try to cram 750 characters into the opening credits... "Homer's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass" OABF13

Season 35

# Image Gag Episode Code 751 No Gag No Gag "Homer's Crossing" OABF18 752 No Gag No Gag "A Mid-Childhood Night's Dream" OABF16 753 No Gag No Gag "McMansion & Wife" OABF20 754 No Gag No Gag "Thirst Trap: A Corporate Love Story" OABF21 755 No Gag No Gag "Treehouse of Horror XXXIV" OABF17 756 No Gag No Gag "Iron Marge" OABF22 757 No Gag No Gag "It's a Blunderful Life" OABF19 758 No Gag No Gag "Ae Bonny Romance" 35ABF02 759 No Gag No Gag "Murder, She Boat" 35ABF04 760 No Gag No Gag "Do the Wrong Thing" 35ABF01

Specials

Airdate Picture Gag Special September 28, 2014 During the episode: I will not think about Bart anymore (written by Stewie Griffin) "The Simpsons Guy" October 13, 2016 I will not make celebrities read mean tweets Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Comics

Simpsons Illustrated

# Release date Picture Gag Comic story 1 April 4, 1991 I will not read this magazine in class N/A (front cover) 8 Winter 1992 The armpit is not a musical instrument Return to Slander

Simpsons Comics

# Release date Picture Gag Comic story 1 November 1993 I will not exaggerate my father's weight problem The Amazing Colossal Homer 3 March 1994 I will not run amok while Principal Skinner is away The Perplexing Puzzle of the Springfield Puma 12 September 1995 A soldier of Skinner writes I will not practice Communist idealogy White-Knuckled War Stories: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Grunt! 75 October 2002 I will not blame cause and effect for my juvenile delinquency ...The Permanent Record Room! 123 October 2006 I will not watch TV in class Bobbing for Vengeance I will not survive the school year

Bart Simpson

# Release date Picture Gag Comic story 28 February 2006 Wienerful is not a real word Lisa the Vampire Croaker 99 November 2015 I Will Do Better Tomorrow Back Words

Books

# Release date Picture Gag Books July 31, 1991 I will not juggle food in the cafeteria The Simpsons Magic Paint and Colour Book ‎ June 12, 2007 Snail mail is not dead Greetings from the Simpsons (2007)

Products

# Release date Picture Gag Product Underwear should be worn on the inside Mud is not one of the four food groups I will not eat things for money Funny noises are not funny I will not sell school property I will not charge admission to the bathroom Bart Simpson Talking Alarm Clock

Adverts

Picture Gag Advert I will not take part in shameless commercial promotion. Sky 1 400th episode ad

Calendar

Picture Gag Note I will not tell a lie I will be a better principal and son Written by Principal Skinner Name here is not wasting the watching prime-time animated cartoons Name here is a name that is personalized for the calendar

Trading cards

The Simpsons Topps

# Picture Gag 1 Biting is unsanitary and rude 2 I will not belch the national anthem 3 I will not encourage others to fly 4 Giving people wedgies is not clever 5 I will not do anything bad ever again 6 I will not drive the principal's car 7 I will spend my time productively 8 Tar is not a plaything 9 I will not lie, cheat, or spit 10 I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom 11 I will not add to our nation's problems 12 Krusty the Clown is not God 13 Hamsters do not eat onion rings 14 I will not trade pants with others 15 I will not do that thing with my tongue 16 I will not undermine traditional American values 17 Cursing is a crutch 18 I am not a 32 year old woman 19 I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment 20 I will not sell school property 21 I will not get very far with this attitude 22 I will not overestimate my own popularity

Video games/Applications

Picture Gag Video game/Application Note I am not a 32 year old woman The Simpsons: Bart's House of Weirdness Reused from the episode "Dead Putting Society". I will not call my teacher hot cakes Reused from the episode "Homer's Night Out". I will not skateboard in the halls Reused from the episode "Homer's Odyssey". Tar is not a plaything Reused from the episode "Simpson and Delilah". I will not burp in class. The Simpsons Screen Saver At one point, the gag is written "I will not burp u", before the "u" is rubbed out and replaced with "i". Reused from the episode "There's No Disgrace Like Home". This is not a clue... or is it? The Simpsons Road Rage Reused from the episode "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)".

Other

EA Gamescom Press Conference 2012

Picture Gag Note I will not under-provision servers. Written in Comic Sans.

Table Reading Room

Picture Gag Note I Will Turn off my Cell Phone at Table Reads It is located outside the room where the table reads for the series are done.

Visual gags
Opening sequence gags Billboard gag (List) • Chalkboard gag (List) • Couch gag (List) • Title screen gag (List) Other gags A113 • Eyes Without a Face • First Church of Springfield marquee • Floorboard gag • Gravestones • Springfield Shopper headlines • Strangling