- "You're doing the right thing. Oh, oh, out you go!"
- ―Cornelius Chapman in 1929[src]
| Cornelius Chapman
| Character Information
Cornelius Chapman was Springfield's oldest living resident at 108 years old.
Chapman built the first log cabin in Springfield. He introduced the toothbrush to the citizens of Springfield and for years was the town's only pro basketball player, which put him at a disadvantage during games with other teams but he still entertained the crowds. During the market crash of 1929, he helped people jump out of tall buildings to avoid disgrace, and he once took a bullet for Huey Long. Unfortunately, Long had already been hit by five bullets; Chapman took the sixth bullet of the volley.
At the Springfield Pride Awards, which were co–hosted by Kent Brockman and Britney Spears, Cornelius Chapman received an award for being Springfield's oldest living resident and his many achievements. While accepting his award, Chapman received a kiss from Spears, which caused him to suffer a heart attack, whereupon he immediately died.
After Chapman collapsed, Brockman nonchalantly shoved him behind the podium. After conducting a quick survey of the audience members' ages, Brockman unfastened the award from Chapman's frozen grip and bestowed it on Springfield's next–oldest living resident, Mr. Burns.
The Simpsons characters