Difference between revisions of "Kearney Zzyzwicz"

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For Kearney, the dwarf in a story based on Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, see Kearney (Four Great Women and a Manicure).

Kearney Zzyzwicz

Character Information Gender: Male ♂ Status: Alive Hair: Buzz cut (Shaved) Occupation: School bully Relatives: Sons: Kearney, Jr. Kearney's Other Son Father: Kearney, Sr. Unknown wife First appearance: "The Telltale Head" Voiced by: Nancy Cartwright v • d • e • h

Kearney Zzyzwicz is one of the school bullies of Springfield Elementary. He appears to be the ugliest and toughest of the bullies, and is very easily distracted.

Biography

Kearney is 23 years old. He has a father named Kearney, Sr., a mother named Mrs. Zzyzwicz. Although he looks (and sounds) to be around Jimbo or Dolph's age, Kearney has a young son named Kearney, Jr. (it is not known who the mother is), he is the only present Springfield Elementary School student that celebrated the United States Bicentennial (that is, was alive in 1976) and shaves his beard. Strangely, he once needed a fake ID to purchase beer.

Kearney drives a Hyundai Stellar. Skinner tried to take off the H to replace the 'H' logo stolen from Superintendent Chalmers' Honda Accord. Kearney catches him in the act, forcing Skinner to flee. Kearney is also seen driving an orange Volkswagen Beetle

Kearney is seen smoking in the room where Bart, Nelson, Jimbo, and Dolph are trapped in, during Superintendent Chalmers's visit.

Otto once stated that he and Kearney both went to Springfield Elementary School together, only for Kearney to reply that they are unable to teach him, which is his reason for why he is still in the school despite being 23. Kearney needs glasses but doesn't use them.

Family

Little Kearney

Son

Main article: Kearney, Jr.

Kearney's son looks exactly like him, though younger and sounding like Ralph Wiggum. He was able to overcome his parent's divorce by sleeping in a drawer at night. He is also considered smarter than Kearney, since when he was sitting on Gil's lap when he was dressed up as Santa Claus, he believed he is the real Santa Claus and his son knew immediately he was a fake. Kearney's son seems to be a young child but Kearney says that is speaking "as a teenager and parent of a teenager" although he probably has some other child that he was talking about.

Wife

Kearney has been married to an unnamed (and unmentioned) wife. The only details given though were that he had to divorce with her, because Kearney didn't want his parents to find out. Kearney has said that he misses having sex with her, though it also mentioned in one episode that Kearney dated Jimbo's mother.

Father

Main article: Kearney, Sr.

Kearney, Sr. is Kearney's gruff, rarely seen father who looks almost identical to his son. One time he attacked Homer in Moe's Tavern after Homer tried to get him and the other fathers to stop their sons from bullying Bart. He hit Homer in the head with a pool stick, which left him stunned yet not knocked out (a condition that would have him become a boxer later). The bullies' fathers then left at gunpoint by Moe, who told them that they could not hit Homer unless they had bought at least two drinks.

Mother

Kearney's mother is not seen but is said to suffer from clinical depression, for which she is being treated with medication. Kearney's points to the medication as the primary reason behind her recent weight gain. She is either in a mental clinic or jail.

She was apparently seeing Moe and she and Kearney joined a cult Moe started in order to get out of jury duty.

Non-canon

The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened or existed.

It was revealed that Kearney, Jimbo, and Dolph were bullied by nerds. Bart then taught them that nerds are "all talk and no action" and they learned to "stand up" for themselves. Bart was later caught in the crossfire when his own creation backfired.

Future

Kearney becomes the Vice-Principal of Springfield Elementary (the principal is still Seymour Skinner), however none of his bullying traits are seen. He will also be Lisa's bodyguard when she becomes the USA president, saying his contract gives him three people to kill in each term. he also was a taxi driver.

The Simpsons Game

Kearney appears as one of the three museum thieves that Bart and Homer must defeat.^[1] He also appears as one of the contestants in the Duff Ultimate Eating Challenge.^[2]

The Simpsons: Tapped Out

This section is transcluded from The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters/Toughies. To edit it, please edit the transcluded page.

Kearney Image Cost Unlock method Unlock message Yearbook 60 Level 14 Premium 30 N/A Mystery Box Prize 1 Shattered Dreams Mystery Box Education Technical Information ID Groups Internal Name 30 Premium Characters, Premium Male, Youngster, Parents, Bullies, Krustyland Goers Kearney Permanent Tasks Task Time Reward Requires Quest with the task Animated? Go Skating 10m 26, 7 Simpsons' Skating Rink Dump Spoiled Slaw in Van Houten House 10m 26, 7 Van Houten House Breaking the Slaw Set a High Score at Whack a Real Mole 10m 26, 7 Whack A Real Mole Shoplift from the Kwik-E-Mart 30m 60, 15 Kwik-E-Mart Sneak an Ice Cream 30m 60, 15 Ice Cream Truck The Ice Cream Man Cometh Pt. 1 Overload on Sugar 30m 60, 15 The Candy Shoppe Give a Pink Belly 60m 105, 26 Springfield Elementary Go on a Field Trip 60m 105, 26 Cypress Creek Elementary Catch a Movie 2h 175, 40 Big T Theatre Ride the Carousel 2h 175, 40 Boardwalk Carousel Dance a Jig 4h 260, 70 Bullies On Parade Enjoy a Night Without Kids 4h 260, 70 Resort Hotel Spy on Kids 4h 260, 70 Giant Ferris Wheel Learn by Fun 4h 260, 70 Childrarium Put Coins on the Rails 4h 260, 70 Springfield Union Station Get Fit and Educated 4h 260, 70 Springfield Gymdandee Split a Fancy Mac and Cheese 4h 260, 70 Le Petite Appétit Play With Interactive Exhibits 4h 260, 70 KidZone Elite Attend Parenting Seminars 4h 260, 70 Universal Panacea Look for Rats 4h 260, 70 Mt. Swartzwelder Historic Cider Mill Go to School 6h 350, 90 Springfield Elementary Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 1 Use Fake ID at Moe's 8h 420, 105 Moe's Tavern Just How Old Are You Attend Wizarding School 8h 420, 105 Magic Academy Get Brainfreeze 8h 420, 105 Pinkbeardy Yogurt Get Caught in Webs 8h 420, 105 Big Bug House Counseling with the Ex 12h 600, 150 First Church of Springfield Enjoy a Night at the Theater 12h 600, 150 Springfield Playhouse Complain About Electric Buzzing 12h 600, 150 The Buzzing Sign Diner Take Son for the Night 24h 1,000, 225 Brown House Parental Priorities Buy Groceries at a Kindling Store 24h 1,000, 225 Kevin's Kindling Krustyland Tasks Task Time Reward Requires Quest with the task Animated? Ride the Death Drop 30m 18, 15 Death Drop Visit Duff Pavilion 60m 31, 26 Duff Pavilion Ride Radioactive Man Ride 4h 78, 70 Radioactive Man: The Ride Tour The Haunted Condo 8h 126, 100 Krusty's Haunted Condo Ride Scratchy's Flea Dipper 12h 180, 150 Scratchy's Flea Dipper Ride the Twirl 'N' Hurl 16h 250, 200 Twirl 'N' Hurl Ride the Tooth Chipper 24h 300, 225 The Tooth Chipper Ride Mount Krustmore 24h 300, 225 Mt. Krustmore Animated Tasks Dance a Jig

Behind the Laughter

Kearney was created from "Kearney Street" in Portland, Oregon, where Matt Groening grew up.

Trivia

• He also owns his own tuxedo, although he isn't seen wearing it.
• Kearney needs to wear glasses.^[3]
• He may have Polish ancestry, due to his surname "Zzyzwicz".
• In early comics, he was named "Kearny".
• In Tapped out Luann Van Houten's dialog implies that her and Kearney had dated, though it's unknown whether this statement is canonical.
• Though most likely non-canon, Kearney may have a thing for Miss Hoover as he was once seen giving her a valentine's day card (though she seemed less than impressed).^[4]

Appearances

This article or section is incomplete. Please improve the article, or discuss the issue on the talk page.

References

Wikisimpsons has a collection of images related to Kearney Zzyzwicz.

view • talk • edit • past The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters
view • talk • edit • past Toughies Kearney Nelson Shauna Dolph Jimbo Kearney's Other Son
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