|The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened or existed.
| Simon Stoolowitz
| Character Information
Simon Stoolowitz is a stool.
After Comic Book Guy had been stabbed by the Mutton Chop Murderer in his store, the Emporium of Exotica, he tried to use Prof. Lazarus' Dead-No-More Elixir. However, he knocked it onto a stool, which then came to life and became Simon Stoolowitz. Stoolowitz then decided to go to America so he could be in movies and the whole world would know his name.