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The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened or existed.
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The Fat in the Hat
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Character Information
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The Fat in the Hat was a strange, seemingly friendly anthropomorphic yellow cat that took Bart, Lisa and Maggie out for a ride around town to get candy. The cat had a very strange personality - it rhymed constantly, had highly odd political views and had anger issues.
History
It's Halloween in a rhyming Dr. Seuss-ian Springfield and three young children (Bart, Lisa and Maggie) are home with the mumps, while the rest of the town is trick-or-treating. Their mother (Marge) heads-out to attend a costume party, leaving them home alone and instructing them not to eat any candy. The kids quickly become bored, until, suddenly, they hear a knock on the door - it's The Fat In The Hat, who, according to his business card, is "the expert at this and expert at that."
He promises to save Halloween and, after quickly administering anti-mump shots, tells the children to jump on his cycle and he'll take them trick-or-treating. After knocking Grampa, who threatens to fight, unconscious with his gadget-riddled umbrella, the Fat in the Hat and the children head out.
Once in town, the children become unnerved by the Fat in the Hat's anger issues and his highly unusual political views. He ends up robbing Apu, blowing up Mr. Burns' mansion, killing Moe, knocking out Patty and Selma, blowing up the Town Hall, setting free all the animals at the zoo, and leaving a pile of bodies in his trail.
The kids realize they must escape from their psychotic guide and so they hop on a three-humped gumbammel (Barney), then a Krusty-cow (Krusty) - which ultimately gets beheaded by Sideshow Bob - and then fly back home on a large bee (Bumblebee Man). However, to their dismay, The Fat In The Hat is waiting inside. "I'm staying forever. You're all stuck with that. 'Cause I'm your new daddy, the Fat in the-", before he can finish, Maggie stabs him in the chest with his very own umbrella. "I'm afraid of nothing, not even hellfires. Just please, don't ever let me be played by Mike Myers.", the Fat in the Hat mutters before dying. The children craft the Fat's body into a rug and sit on him eating candy all night until their mother returns.
Appearances