Difference between revisions of "Jasper Beardley"

Revision as of 03:22, October 6, 2014

"That's a paddlin'."

―Jasper Beardly famous phrase^[src]

Jasper Beardly is a resident of the Springfield Retirement Castle, and is often seen around Springfield and is a friend of Abe Simpson .

Biography

Jasper is a World War II veteran. Jasper also tried to avoid the draft by disguising himself as a woman and staying in Springfield to play in the local women's baseball league, along with his friend Abe, who was also avoiding the war. He has been a substitute teacher who confiscated everything made of tin (according to Lisa) and got his beard caught in the pencil sharpener.^[3] He also preceded Reverend Lovejoy as minister at the Simpsons' church in Springfield.

Jasper unsuccessfully auditioned for The Be Sharps by singing "Theme From A Summer Place".^[4]

Health Issues

Vision

It is implied that Jasper is slowly going blind. This ailment was once cured by a laser fired by a house's security protection equipment, but he was blinded again almost immediately. He accepted this very quickly: "Oh well. Easy come, easy go." Despite the sight problem, Jasper is both a light sleeper and is still quick with his reflexes. When Abe Simpson tried to steal his dentures one night, Jasper turned on the light immediately and, with a gun aimed at Abe, foiled the nocturnal theft. Also, when everyone comes to watch the Itchy & Scratchy episode "The Beagle Has Landed", he looks down to Bart and asks "Hey little girl, is this seat taken?", Bart replies angrily with "I'm not a little girl!! Are you blind?!", in which Jasper replies sadly with "Yes".

Other Major Accidents

Jasper was put in crude "suspended animation" in the Kwik-E-Mart's freezer, and under advice from Dr. Nick Riviera, Apu kept him frozen. When Jasper's frozen form became popular with customers, Apu started exploiting the spectacle, and transformed the Kwik-E-Mart into a special interest store dealing with weird items, or perfectly ordinary ones which had been made out to be abnormal (for example, a cash machine that dispenses pictures of "dead presidents"). He put a Viking helmet on Jasper (or "Frostillicus," as Apu renamed him), but when Jasper was accidentally unfrozen and stepped out into what he thought was a future world, Apu's dreams of wealth were once again crushed. Apu was considering selling him to The Rich Texan. Jasper has unfortunate events like Hans Moleman because he has had many accidents.

Minor Accidents

Jasper was shot in his artificial leg by Waylon Smithers, Jr., on the same night of the nearly fatal shooting of Mr. Burns. He also claimed to have "broke" his beard during a Death Race accident with Abe Simpson and Old Jewish Man, and even managed to get his beard stuck in a pencil sharpener while substituting for the striking teachers of Springfield Elementary. He also mentioned that he is diabetic in, and was shot in the arm.^[5] One time, Jasper, under the mistaken belief that it was Wednesday, took some of his Wednesday pills until he learned it was actually Friday, which caused him to morph into a similar creature to a Lorax from the Dr. Seuss stories.^[6]

Fake Leg

Jasper is shown to have a fake left leg while sparring with Old Jewish Man. Smithers also shot Jasper in the wooden leg while in a drunken stupor. However, when he substituted for Lisa's class, he was wearing sandals and clearly had both feet.

Relationships

Jasper is a friend of fellow resident Abe Simpson, but not always. When Abe's girlfriend Bea died, Jasper told him what had happened and comforted him. However, Jasper possibly bullies Abe regularly - on one occasion, he steals Abe's newspaper because he wants to do the crossword puzzle. He had a wife, Estelle, now deceased. He apparently had her cremated and had his successor, Reverend Lovejoy, proceed with the cremation ceremony, although it later became apparent that the ceremony was invalid as it took place during the three months that Lovejoy's ministering license expired.^[7]

Non-canon

The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened or existed.

The Simpsons: Tapped Out

Default

This section is transcluded from The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters/Oldies. To edit it, please edit the transcluded page.

Jasper Image Cost Unlock method Unlocks with Unlock message Yearbook 150 Level 30 Premium Community Center 30 80 Thanksgiving 2018, All American Auction, Blargsgiving, Northward Bound, The Atom Smasher and Cold Turkey Premium (Men Mystery Box) 1 Blargsgiving, Northward Bound, The Atom Smasher and Cold Turkey Gold Mystery Box Technical Information ID Groups Internal Name 2101 Premium Characters, Premium Male, Pessimist, Senior, Adult Jasper Permanent Tasks Task Time Reward Requires Quest with the task Animated? Go Skating 10m 26, 7 Simpsons' Skating Rink Practice Lollipop Song 60m 105, 26 Springfield's Got Talent! Dine at the Overpass Diner 60m 105, 26 Overpass Diner Go Paddling 4h 260, 70 That's A Paddlin! Overpay for Sex on the Beach 4h 260, 70 Smooches on the Beach Stay at the Swelldorado 4h 260, 70 Swelldorado Party at the First Class Lounge 4h 260, 70 The First Class Lounge Try to Win at Blackjack 4h 260, 70 $ Casino Big $ Drink and Babysit 4h 260, 70 The Boiled Potato Pub Daycare Attend Parenting Seminars 4h 260, 70 Universal Panacea Heckle Rich Old Fogeys About to Die 4h 260, 70 Golden Exits Retirement Farm Shop for Cider 4h 260, 70 Mt. Swartzwelder Historic Cider Mill Complain About Lumbargo 6h 350, 90 Springfield Medical Center Relax in the Retirement Home 8h 420, 105 Retirement Castle Retirement Dance the Señor Burns 8h 420, 105 Chez Guevara Señor Burns Retrieve a Box of Pills 10h 525, 135 Geriatric Medicine Rest in a Cryo Chamber 10h 525, 135 Cryo Stasis Memorial Cryogenics Pt. 2 Take Incorrect Medication 12h 600, 150 The Prune Lagoon Enjoy a Night at the Theater 12h 600, 150 Springfield Playhouse Complain About Electric Buzzing 12h 600, 150 The Buzzing Sign Diner Participate in Clinical Trials 12h 600, 150 Hotenhoffer Pharmaceuticals Attend a Viewing 12h 600, 150 Springfield Funeral Home Self-Freeze at the Kwik-E-Mart 24h 1,000, 225 Kwik-E-Mart Back to the Freezer! Buy Groceries at a Kindling Store 24h 1,000, 225 Kevin's Kindling Animated Tasks Practice Lollipop Song Go Paddling Take Incorrect Medication

Number 5

This section is transcluded from The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters/More Stonecutters. To edit it, please edit the transcluded page.

Behind the Laughter

Jasper has become famous over the Internet for his quote, which has became his catchphrase to many online, "That's a paddlin'". The line from the episode "The PTA Disbands" has became a meme over the Internet.

Appearances

References

Wikisimpsons has a collection of images related to Jasper Beardley.

view • talk • edit • past The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters
view • talk • edit • past Oldies Agnes Jasper Lampwick Stacy Lovell Alice Glick Molloy Mona Hollis Hurlbut
All characters