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List of chalkboard gags
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
Template:TableUpdate
The following is a list of chalkboard gags seen on The Simpsons.
| #
|
Airdate
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 1
|
December 17, 1989
|
|
no gag
|
"Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire"
|
| 2
|
January 14, 1990
|
200px
|
I will not waste chalk
|
"Bart the Genius"
|
| 3
|
January 21, 1990
|
200px
|
I will not skateboard in the halls
|
"Homer's Odyssey"
|
| 4
|
January 28, 1990
|
200px
|
I will not burp in class
|
"There's No Disgrace Like Home"
|
| 5
|
February 4, 1990
|
|
no gag
|
"Bart the General"
|
| 6
|
February 11, 1990
|
|
I will not instigate revolution
|
"Moaning Lisa"
|
| 7
|
February 18, 1990
|
|
I will not draw naked ladies in class
|
"The Call of the Simpsons"
|
| 8
|
February 25, 1990
|
|
I did not see Elvis
|
"The Telltale Head"
|
| 9
|
March 18, 1990
|
|
no gag
|
"Life on the Fast Lane"
|
| 10
|
March 25, 1990
|
|
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"
|
"Homer's Night Out"
|
| 11
|
April 15, 1990
|
|
Garlic gum is not funny
|
"The Crepes of Wrath"
|
| 12
|
April 29, 1990
|
200px
|
They are laughing at me, not with me
|
"Krusty Gets Busted"
|
| 13
|
May 13, 1990
|
200px
|
I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom
|
"Some Enchanted Evening"
|
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 14
|
October 11, 1990
|
200px
|
I will not encourage others to fly
|
"Bart Gets an F"
|
|
|
During the episode:
I will not fake my way through life
|
| 15
|
October 18, 1990
|
|
Tar is not a plaything
|
"Simpson and Delilah"
|
| 16
|
October 25, 1990
|
|
no gag
|
"Treehouse of Horror"
|
| 17
|
November 1, 1990
|
|
I will not Xerox my butt
|
"Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish"
|
|
|
Alternate chalkboard gag aired on June 2, 1992 rerun
It's 'potato', not 'potatoe'
|
| 18
|
November 8, 1990
|
|
I will not trade pants with others
|
"Dancin' Homer"
|
| 19
|
November 15, 1990
|
|
I am not a 32 year old woman
|
"Dead Putting Society"
|
| 20
|
November 22, 1990
|
|
I will not do that thing with my tongue
|
"Bart vs. Thanksgiving"
|
| 21
|
December 6, 1990
|
|
I will not drive the principal's car
|
"Bart the Daredevil"
|
| 22
|
December 20, 1990
|
|
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
|
2Itchy & Scratchy & Marge"
|
| 23
|
January 10, 1991
|
|
I will not sell school property
|
"Bart Gets Hit by a Car"
|
| 24
|
January 24, 1991
|
|
I will not cut corners
(This is written for 3 lines. The remaining lines are all "ditto" quotation marks.)
|
"One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"
|
| 25
|
January 31, 1991
|
|
I will not get very far with this attitude
|
"The Way We Was"
|
| 26
|
February 7, 1991
|
|
I will not make flatulent noises in class
|
"Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"
|
| 27
|
February 14, 1991
|
|
I will not belch the national anthem
|
"Principal Charming"
|
| 28
|
February 21, 1991
|
|
I will not sell land in Florida
|
"Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"
|
| 29
|
March 7, 1991
|
|
I will not sell school property
|
"Bart's Dog Gets an F"
|
| 30
|
March 28, 1991
|
200px
|
I will not grease the monkey bars
|
"Old Money"
|
| 31
|
April 11, 1991
|
|
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
|
"Brush with Greatness"
|
| 32
|
April 25, 1991
|
|
no gag
|
"Lisa's Substitute"
|
| 33
|
May 2, 1991
|
|
I will not do anything bad ever again
|
"The War of the Simpsons"
|
| 34
|
May 9, 1991
|
|
I will not show off
(This was written in Blackletter.)
|
"Three Men and a Comic Book"
|
| 35
|
July 11, 1991
|
|
I will not sleep through my education
|
"Blood Feud"
|
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 36
|
September 19, 1991
|
|
I am not a dentist
|
"Stark Raving Dad"
|
| 37
|
September 26, 1991
|
|
Spitwads are not free speech
|
"Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington"
|
| 38
|
October 3, 1991
|
|
Nobody likes sunburn slappers
|
"When Flanders Failed"
|
| 39
|
October 10, 1991
|
|
High explosives and school don't mix
|
"Bart the Murderer"
|
|
|
During the episode:
I will not bribe Principal Skinner
|
| 40
|
October 17, 1991
|
|
I will not squeak chalk
(Bart makes the chalk squeak as he writes this.)
|
"Homer Defined"
|
| 41
|
October 24, 1991
|
|
I will finish what I sta
(written only once)
|
"Like Father, Like Clown"
|
| 42
|
October 31, 1991
|
|
no gag
|
"Treehouse of Horror II"
|
| 43
|
November 7, 1991
|
|
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
|
"Lisa's Pony"
|
| 44
|
November 14, 1991
|
|
I will not fake rabies
|
"Saturdays of Thunder"
|
| 45
|
November 21, 1991
|
|
Underwear should be worn on the inside
|
"Flaming Moe's"
|
| 46
|
December 5, 1991
|
|
The Christmas Pageant does not stink
|
"Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk"
|
| 47
|
December 26, 1991
|
|
I will not torment the emotionally frail
|
"I Married Marge"
|
| 48
|
January 9, 1992
|
|
I will not carve gods
|
"Radio Bart"
|
| 49
|
January 23, 1992
|
|
no gag
|
"Lisa the Greek"
|
| 50
|
February 6, 1992
|
|
I will not spank others
|
"Homer Alone"
|
| 51
|
February 13, 1992
|
|
no gag
|
"Bart the Lover"
|
| 52
|
February 20, 1992
|
|
I will not aim for the head
|
"Homer at the Bat"
|
| 53
|
February 27, 1992
|
|
I will not barf unless I'm sick
|
"Separate Vocations"
|
|
|
During the episode:
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
|
| 54
|
March 12, 1992
|
|
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
|
"Dog of Death"
|
| 55
|
March 26, 1992
|
|
I will not conduct my own fire drills
|
"Colonel Homer"
|
| 56
|
April 9, 1992
|
|
Funny noises are not funny
|
"Black Widower"
|
| 57
|
April 23, 1992
|
|
I will not spin the turtle
|
"The Otto Show"
|
| 58
|
May 7, 1992
|
|
I will not snap bras
|
"Bart's Friend Falls in Love"
|
| 59
|
August 27, 1992
|
|
I will not fake seizures
|
"Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?"
|
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 60
|
September 24, 1992
|
|
This punishment is not boring and pointless
|
"Kamp Krusty"
|
| 61
|
October 1, 1992
|
|
My name is not "Dr. Death"
|
"A Streetcar Named Marge"
|
| 62
|
October 8, 1992
|
|
I will not defame New Orleans
|
"Homer the Heretic"
|
| 63
|
October 15, 1992
|
|
I will not prescribe medication
|
Lisa the Beauty Queen
|
| 64
|
October 29, 1992
|
|
no gag
|
"Treehouse of Horror III"
|
| 65
|
November 3, 1992
|
|
I will not bury the new kid
|
"Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie"
|
|
|
During the episode, Marge writes:
I will try to raise a better child
|
| 66
|
November 5, 1992
|
|
I will not teach others to fly
|
"Marge Gets a Job"
|
| 67
|
November 12, 1992
|
|
I will not bring sheep to class
|
"New Kid on the Block"
|
| 68
|
November 19, 1992
|
|
A burp is not an answer
|
"Mr. Plow"
|
| 69
|
December 3, 1992
|
|
Teacher is not a leper
|
"Lisa's First Word"
|
| 70
|
December 17, 1992
|
|
Coffee is not for kids
(Each line becomes less legible and more scrawled)
|
"Homer's Triple Bypass"
|
| 71
|
January 14, 1993
|
|
I will not eat things for money
|
"Marge vs. the Monorail"
|
| 72
|
January 21, 1993
|
|
I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
|
"Selma's Choice"
|
| 73
|
February 4, 1993
|
|
The principal's toupée is not a frisbee
|
2Brother from the Same Planet"
|
| 74
|
February 11, 1993
|
|
I will not call the principal "spud head"
|
"I Love Lisa"
|
| 75
|
February 18, 1993
|
|
Goldfish don't bounce
|
"Duffless"
|
| 76
|
March 11, 1993
|
|
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
|
"Last Exit to Springfield"
|
| 77
|
April 1, 1993
|
|
No one is interested in my underpants
|
"So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show"
|
| 78
|
April 15, 1993
|
|
I will not sell miracle cures
|
"The Front"
|
| 79
|
April 29, 1993
|
|
I will return the seeing-eye dog
|
"Whacking Day"
|
| 80
|
May 6, 1993
|
|
I do not have diplomatic immunity
|
"Marge in Chains"
|
| 81
|
May 13, 1993
|
|
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
|
"Krusty Gets Kancelled"
|
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 82
|
September 30, 1993
|
|
I will never win an Emmy
|
"Homer's Barbershop Quartet"
|
| 83
|
October 7, 1993
|
|
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
|
"Cape Feare"
|
| 84
|
October 14, 1993
|
|
no gag
|
"Homer Goes to College"
|
| 85
|
October 21, 1993
|
|
no gag
|
"Rosebud"
|
| 86
|
October 28, 1993
|
|
no gag
|
"Treehouse of Horror IV"
|
| 87
|
November 4, 1993
|
|
no gag
|
"Marge on the Lam"
|
| 88
|
November 11, 1993
|
|
no gag
|
"Bart's Inner Child"
|
| 89
|
November 18, 1993
|
|
no gag
|
"Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood"
|
| 90
|
December 9, 1993
|
|
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
|
"The Last Temptation of Homer"
|
| 91
|
December 16, 1993
|
|
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
|
"$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)"
|
| 92
|
January 6, 1994
|
|
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
|
"Homer the Vigilante"
|
| 93
|
February 3, 1994
|
|
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
|
"Bart Gets Famous"
|
| 94
|
February 10, 1994
|
|
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
|
"Homer and Apu"
|
| 95
|
February 17, 1994
|
|
no gag
|
"Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy"
|
| 96
|
February 24, 1994
|
|
no gag
|
"Deep Space Homer"
|
| 97
|
March 17, 1994
|
|
I am not delightfully saucy
|
"Homer Loves Flanders"
|
| 98
|
March 31, 1994
|
|
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
|
"Bart Gets an Elephant"
|
| 99
|
April 14, 1994
|
|
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan"
|
"Burns' Heir"
|
| 100
|
April 28, 1994
|
|
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
|
"Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song"
|
| 101
|
May 5, 1994
|
|
There are plenty of businesses like show business
|
"The Boy Who Knew Too Much"
|
| 102
|
May 12, 1994
|
|
I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
|
"Lady Bouvier's Lover"
|
| 103
|
May 19, 1994
|
|
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
|
"Secrets of a Successful Marriage"
|
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 104
|
September 4, 1994
|
|
Beans are neither a fruit nor musical
|
"Bart of Darkness"
|
| 105
|
September 11, 1994
|
|
No one is interested in my underpants
|
"Lisa's Rival"
|
| 106
|
September 25, 1994
|
|
I will not use abbrev.
|
"Another Simpsons Clip Show"
|
| 107
|
October 2, 1994
|
|
I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
|
"Itchy & Scratchy Land"
|
| 108
|
October 9, 1994
|
|
no gag
|
"Sideshow Bob Roberts"
|
| 109
|
October 30, 1994
|
|
no gag
|
"Treehouse of Horror V"
|
| 110
|
November 6, 1994
|
|
I will not send lard through the mail
|
"Bart's Girlfriend"
|
| 111
|
November 13, 1994
|
|
I will not dissect things unless instructed
|
"Lisa on Ice"
|
| 112
|
November 27, 1994
|
|
I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
|
"Homer Badman"
|
| 113
|
December 4, 1994
|
|
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
|
"Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"
|
| 114
|
December 18, 1994
|
|
Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough
|
"Fear of Flying"
|
| 115
|
January 8, 1995
|
|
Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal
|
"Homer the Great"
|
| 116
|
January 22, 1995
|
|
'Bagman' is not a legitimate career choice
|
"And Maggie Makes Three"
|
| 117
|
February 5, 1995
|
|
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
|
"Bart's Comet"
|
| 118
|
February 12, 1995
|
|
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
|
"Homie the Clown"
|
| 119
|
February 19, 1995
|
|
I will not hang donuts on my person
|
"Bart vs. Australia"
|
| 120
|
February 26, 1995
|
|
I will remember to take my medication
|
"Homer vs. Patty & Selma"
|
| 121
|
March 5, 1995
|
|
no gag
|
"A Star Is Burns"
|
| 122
|
March 19, 1995
|
|
I will not strut around like I own the place
|
"Lisa's Wedding"
|
| 123
|
April 9, 1995
|
|
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
|
"Two Dozen and One Greyhounds"
|
| 124
|
April 16, 1995
|
|
I do not have power of attorney over first graders
|
"The PTA Disbands"
|
| 125
|
April 30, 1995
|
|
Nerve gas is not a toy
|
"'Round Springfield"
|
| 126
|
May 7, 1995
|
|
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
|
"The Springfield Connection"
|
| 127
|
May 14, 1995
|
|
The First Amendment does not cover burping
|
"Lemon of Troy"
|
| 128
|
May 21, 1995
|
|
This is not a clue... or is it?
|
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)"
|
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 129
|
September 17, 1995
|
|
I will not complain about the solution when I hear it
|
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)"
|
| 130
|
September 24, 1995
|
|
"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism
|
"Radioactive Man"
|
| 131
|
October 1, 1995
|
|
No one wants to hear from my armpits
|
"Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily"
|
| 132
|
October 8, 1995
|
|
I am not a lean mean spitting machine
|
"Bart Sells His Soul"
|
| 133
|
October 15, 1995
|
|
The boys' room is not a water park
|
"Lisa the Vegetarian"
|
| 134
|
October 29, 1995
|
|
no gag
|
"Treehouse of Horror VI"
|
| 135
|
November 5, 1995
|
|
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
|
"King-Size Homer"
|
| 136
|
November 19, 1995
|
|
no gag
|
"Mother Simpson"
|
| 137
|
November 26, 1995
|
|
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
|
"Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming"
|
| 138
|
December 3, 1995
|
|
I will only do this once a year
(by "this", it means a clip show)
|
"The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
|
| 139
|
December 17, 1995
|
|
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
|
"Marge Be Not Proud"
|
| 140
|
January 7, 1996
|
|
I am not certified to remove asbestos
|
"Team Homer"
|
| 141
|
January 14, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Two Bad Neighbors"
|
| 142
|
February 4, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Scenes From the Class Struggle in Springfield"
|
| 143
|
February 11, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Bart the Fink"
|
| 144
|
February 18, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Lisa the Iconoclast"
|
| 145
|
February 25, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Homer the Smithers"
|
| 146
|
March 17, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"The Day the Violence Died"
|
| 147
|
March 24, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"A Fish Called Selma"
|
| 148
|
March 31, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Bart on the Road"
|
| 149
|
April 14, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"22 Short Films About Springfield"
|
| 150
|
April 28, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish""
|
| 151
|
May 5, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Much Apu About Nothing"
|
| 152
|
May 19, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Homerpalooza"
|
| 153
|
May 19, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Summer of 4 Ft. 2"
|
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 154
|
October 27, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Treehouse of Horror VII"
|
| 155
|
November 3, 1996
|
|
I did not learn everything I need to know from kindergarten
|
"You Only Move Twice"
|
| 156
|
November 10, 1996
|
|
I am not my long-lost twin
|
"The Homer They Fall"
|
| 157
|
November 17, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Burns, Baby Burns"
|
| 158
|
November 24, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Bart After Dark"
|
| 159
|
December 1, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"A Milhouse Divided"
|
| 160
|
December 15, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Lisa's Date with Density"
|
|
|
During the episode, Lisa writes: I will not be a snickerpuss.
|
| 161
|
December 29, 1996
|
|
no gag
|
"Hurricane Neddy"
|
| 162
|
January 5, 1997
|
|
no gag
|
"El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)"
|
| 163
|
January 12, 1997
|
|
The truth is not out there
|
"The Springfield Files"
|
| 164
|
January 19, 1997
|
|
I am not licensed to do anything
|
"The Twisted World of Marge Simpson"
|
| 165
|
February 2, 1997
|
|
no gag
|
"Mountain of Madness"
|
| 166
|
February 7, 1997
|
|
I will not hide the teacher's Prozac
|
"Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious"
|
| 167
|
February 9, 1997
|
|
no gag
|
"The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show"
|
| 168
|
February 16, 1997
|
|
no gag
|
"Homer's Phobia"
|
| 169
|
February 23, 1997
|
|
no gag
|
"Brother from Another Series"
|
| 170
|
March 2, 1997
|
|
no gag
|
"My Sister, My Sitter"
|
| 171
|
March 16, 1997
|
|
no gag
|
"Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment"
|
| 172
|
April 6, 1997
|
|
no gag
|
"Grade School Confidential"
|
| 173
|
April 13, 1997
|
|
A fire drill does not demand a fire
|
"The Canine Mutiny"
|
| 174
|
April 20, 1997
|
|
no gag
|
"The Old Man and the Lisa"
|
| 175
|
April 27, 1997
|
|
no gag
|
"In Marge We Trust"
|
| 176
|
May 4, 1997
|
|
no gag
|
"Homer's Enemy"
|
| 177
|
May 11, 1997
|
|
no gag
|
"The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase"
|
| 178
|
May 18, 1997
|
|
no gag
|
"The Secret War of Lisa Simpson"
|
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 179
|
September 21, 1997
|
no gag
|
The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson
|
| 180
|
September 28, 1997
|
no gag
|
The Principal and the Pauper
|
| 181
|
October 19, 1997
|
I no longer want my MTV(reference to the lyrics of the Dire Straits song Money for Nothing (song), and a possible jab at MTV's declining quality due to lack of music videos and music-related programming)
|
Lisa's Sax
|
| 182
|
October 26, 1997
|
no gag
|
Treehouse of Horror VIII
|
| 183
|
November 2, 1997
|
Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story.
|
The Cartridge Family
|
| 184
|
November 9, 1997
|
I did not invent Irish dancing.
|
Bart Star
|
| 185
|
November 16, 1997
|
no gag
|
The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons
|
| 186
|
November 23, 1997
|
I will not tease Fatty.
|
Lisa the Skeptic
|
| 187
|
December 7, 1997
|
There was no Roman god named "Fartacus"
|
Realty Bites
|
| 188
|
December 21, 1997
|
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer's red nose is not alcohol-related
|
Miracle on Evergreen Terrace
|
| 189
|
January 4, 1998
|
no gag
|
All Singing, All Dancing
|
| 190
|
January 11, 1998
|
no gag
|
Bart Carny
|
| 191
|
February 8, 1998
|
Shooting paintballs is not an art form
|
The Joy of Sect
|
| 192
|
February 15, 1998
|
no gag
|
Das Bus
|
| 193
|
February 22, 1998
|
Pain is not the cleanser (Surprisingly, Ned Flanders shouted "Pain is the cleanser!" as he yanked his moustache in the episode Home Away from Homer.)
|
The Last Temptation of Krust
|
| 194
|
March 1, 1998
|
Silly string is not a nasal spray.
|
Dumbbell Indemnity
|
| 195
|
March 8, 1998
|
no gag
|
Lisa the Simpson
|
| 196
|
March 22, 1998
|
I was told not to do this
|
This Little Wiggy
|
| 197
|
March 29, 1998
|
My butt does not deserve a website.
|
Simpson Tide
|
| 198
|
April 5, 1998
|
I will not demand what I'm worth (This is a reference to the voice cast's recent demands for higher pay.)
|
The Trouble With Trillions
|
| 199
|
April 19, 1998
|
no gag
|
Girly Edition
|
| 200
|
April 26, 1998
|
I will not mess with the opening credits(This was actually the couch gag for this episode; the rest of the family runs into the classroom to find Bart already there writing on the board.)
|
Trash of the Titans
|
| 201
|
May 3, 1998
|
no gag
|
King of the Hill
|
| 202
|
May 10, 1998
|
I am not the new Dalai Lama.
|
Lost Our Lisa
|
| 203
|
May 17, 1998
|
I was not the inspiration for "Kramer" (This episode aired three days after the last episode of "Seinfeld".)
|
Natural Born Kissers
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 204
|
August 23, 1998
|
no gag
|
Lard of the Dance
|
| 205
|
September 20, 1998
|
I will not file frivolous lawsuits
|
The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace
|
| 206
|
September 27, 1998
|
no gag
|
Bart the Mother
|
| 207
|
October 25, 1998
|
The Simpsons Halloween Special IX (This is written in blood with a paintbrush.)
|
Treehouse of Horror IX
|
| 208
|
November 8, 1998
|
"butt.com" is not my E-mail address(This was changed to "butt.butt" in later airings since butt.com was revealed to be a real website. Butt.com still appeared in syndication, however.)
|
When You Dish upon a Star
|
| 209
|
November 15, 1998
|
No one cares what my definition of "is" is
|
D'oh-in in the Wind
|
| 210
|
November 22, 1998
|
I will not scream for ice cream
|
Lisa Gets an "A"
|
| 211
|
December 6, 1998
|
I am not a licensed hairstylist
|
Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"
|
| 212
|
December 20, 1998
|
"The President did it" is not an excuse (This aired a day after impeachment proceedings started against Bill Clinton)
|
Mayored to the Mob
|
| 213
|
January 10, 1999
|
My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld
|
Viva Ned Flanders
|
| 214
|
January 17, 1999
|
Sherri does not "got back"
|
Wild Barts Can't Be Broken
|
| 215
|
January 31, 1999
|
I will not do "the dirty bird" (This episode aired the night of Super Bowl XXXIII, in which the Atlanta Falcons, for whom "The Dirty Bird" was a signature dance/celebration, played.)
|
Sunday, Cruddy Sunday
|
| 216
|
February 7, 1999
|
No one cares about my sciatica
|
Homer to the Max
|
| 217
|
February 14, 1999
|
Hillbillies are people too
|
I'm with Cupid
|
| 218
|
February 21, 1999
|
Grammar is not a time of waste
|
Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"
|
| 219
|
February 28, 1999
|
I do not have diplomatic immunity (Taken from 9F20)
|
Make Room for Lisa
|
| 220
|
March 28, 1999
|
It does not suck to be you (A reference to a Prozzäk song)
|
Maximum Homerdrive
|
| 221
|
April 4, 1999
|
I cannot absolve sins (And during Lisa's dream in the episode: I will not deface using hieroglyphics where possible)
|
Simpsons Bible Stories
|
| 222
|
April 11, 1999
|
A trained ape could not teach gym
|
Mom and Pop Art
|
| 223
|
April 25, 1999
|
Loose teeth don't need my help
|
The Old Man and the "C" Student
|
| 224
|
May 2, 1999
|
I have neither been there nor done that
|
Monty Can't Buy Me Love
|
| 225
|
May 9, 1999
|
No one wants to hear from my armpits (This is from 3F01)
|
They Saved Lisa's Brain
|
| 226
|
May 16, 1999
|
I'm so very tired (At this point, Bart had been doing these gags for ten seasons.)
|
Thirty Minutes over Tokyo
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 227
|
September 26, 1999
|
Fridays are not "pants optional" (In Australia, Hamish and Andy (a comedy duo) have decided that Friday should be Pants off Friday.)
|
Beyond Blunderdome
|
| 228
|
October 3, 1999
|
Pork is not a verb(the irony is that "pork" is a verb, albeit a vulgar slang term, meaning "to have sexual intercourse with")
|
Brother's Little Helper
|
| 229
|
October 24, 1999
|
I am not the last Don(Possibly a reference to the 1997 TV minseries of the same name, which starred Joe Mantegna, voice of recurring Simpsons character Fat Tony)
|
Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?
|
| 230
|
October 31, 1999
|
no gag
|
Treehouse of Horror X
|
| 231
|
November 7, 1999
|
I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize
|
E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)
|
| 232
|
November 14, 1999
|
I won't not use no double negatives(since three negatives are used, the sentence is true)
|
Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder
|
| 233
|
November 21, 1999
|
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage (This is from 3F05)
|
Eight Misbehavin'
|
| 234
|
November 28, 1999
|
I can't see dead people (This is a reference to The Sixth Sense)
|
Take My Wife, Sleaze
|
| 235
|
December 19, 1999
|
I will not sell my kidney on eBay (this is impossible now, since eBay prohibits the sale of organs)
|
Grift of the Magi
|
| 236
|
January 9, 2000
|
I will not create art from dung
|
Little Big Mom
|
| 237
|
January 16, 2000
|
I will stop phoning it in
|
Faith Off
|
| 238
|
January 23, 2000
|
Class clown is not a paid position
|
The Mansion Family
|
| 239
|
February 6, 2000
|
Substitute teachers are not scabs
|
Saddlesore Galactica
|
| 240
|
February 13, 2000
|
My suspension] was not mutual
|
Alone Again, Natura-Diddily
|
| 241
|
February 20, 2000
|
A belch is not an oral report
|
Missionary: Impossible
|
| 242
|
February 27, 2000
|
Dodgeball stops at the gym door
|
Pygmoelian
|
| 243
|
March 19, 2000
|
Non-flammable is not a challenge
|
Bart to the Future
|
| 244
|
April 9, 2000
|
I was not touched "there" by an angel
|
Days of Wine and D'oh'ses
|
| 245
|
April 30, 2000
|
I am not here on a fartball scholarship
|
Kill the Alligator and Run
|
| 246
|
May 7, 2000
|
I will not dance on anyone's grave
|
Last Tap Dance in Springfield
|
| 247
|
May 14, 2000
|
I cannot hire a substitute student
|
It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge
|
| 248
|
May 21, 2000
|
"I will not obey the voices in my head"
|
Behind the Laughter
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 249
|
November 1, 2000
|
no gag
|
Treehouse of Horror XI
|
| 250
|
November 5, 2000
|
I will not plant subliminal messagore]s (aired two days before the 2000 U.S. presidential election)
|
A Tale of Two Springfields
|
| 251
|
November 12, 2000
|
I will not surprise the incontinent
|
Insane Clown Poppy
|
| 252
|
November 19, 2000
|
I am not the acting president (aired during the legal contest over the results of the 2000 presidential election)
|
Lisa the Tree Hugger
|
| 253
|
November 26, 2000
|
I was not the sixth Beatle
|
Homer vs. Dignity
|
| 254
|
December 3, 2000
|
I will only provide a urine sample when asked
|
The Computer Wore Menace Shoes
|
| 255
|
December 10, 2000
|
The nurse is not dealing
|
The Great Money Caper
|
| 256
|
December 17, 2000
|
Science class should not end in tragedy(During the episode, Skinner writes "I ain't not a dorkus")
|
Skinner's Sense of Snow
|
| 257
|
January 7, 2001
|
Network TV is not dead
|
HOMR
|
| 258
|
January 14, 2001
|
I will not "let the dogs out" (reference a song made popular by the Baha Men)
|
Pokey Mom
|
| 259
|
February 4, 2001
|
I will not hide the teacher's medication
|
Worst Episode Ever
|
| 260
|
February 11, 2001
|
I will not publish the principal's credit report
|
Tennis the Menace
|
| 261
|
February 18, 2001
|
The hamster did not have a "full life"
|
Day of the Jackanapes
|
| 262
|
February 25, 2001
|
I will not buy a presidential pardon(This refers to the Bill Clinton pardons controversy, involving 140 pardons he issued on his last day in office.)
|
New Kids on the Blecch
|
| 263
|
March 4, 2001
|
"Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap
|
Hungry, Hungry Homer
|
| 264
|
March 11, 2001
|
I will not scare the vice president(a reference to VP Cheney's heart condition)
|
Bye Bye Nerdie
|
| 265
|
April 1, 2001
|
I will not flush evidence
|
Simpson Safari
|
| 266
|
April 29, 2001
|
Fire is not the cleanser
|
Trilogy of Error
|
| 267
|
May 6, 2001
|
Genetics is not an excuse
|
I'm Goin' to Praiseland
|
| 268
|
May 13, 2001
|
Today is not Mothra's Day (This episode aired on Mother's Day.)
|
Children of a Lesser Clod
|
| 269
|
May 20, 2001
|
I should not be twenty-one by now (Referring to the fact that Bart has been the age of ten for over eleven years.)
|
Simpsons Tall Tales
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 270
|
November 6, 2001
|
no gag
|
Treehouse of Horror XII
|
| 271
|
November 11, 2001
|
Nobody reads these anymore
|
The Parent Rap
|
| 272
|
November 18, 2001
|
A burp in a jar is not a science project
|
Homer the Moe
|
| 273
|
December 2, 2001
|
Fun does not have a size
|
A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love
|
| 274
|
December 9, 2001
|
I am not Charlie Brown on acid (reference to how critics described "South Park")
|
The Blunder Years
|
| 275
|
December 16, 2001
|
I do not have a cereal named after me (In fact, he did: "Bart Simpson Peanut Butter Chocolate Crunch". In the UK they released "Bart Simpson's No Problem-os)
|
She of Little Faith
|
| 276
|
January 6, 2002
|
no gag
|
Brawl in the Family
|
| 277
|
January 20, 2002
|
no gag
|
Sweets and Sour Marge
|
| 278
|
January 27, 2002
|
no gag
|
Jaws Wired Shut
|
| 279
|
February 10, 2002
|
I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers(A reference to his Butterfinger commercials and how, after a blatant jab two episodes earlier, the ads had been canceled.)
|
Half-Decent Proposal
|
| 280
|
February 17, 2002
|
The Giving Tree is not a chump
|
The Bart Wants What It Wants
|
| 281
|
February 24, 2002
|
Making Milhouse cry is not a science project
|
The Lastest Gun in the West
|
| 282
|
March 10, 2002
|
no gag
|
The Old Man and the Key
|
| 283
|
March 17, 2002
|
Vampire is not a career choice
|
Tales from the Public Domain
|
| 284
|
March 31, 2002
|
no gag
|
Blame It on Lisa
|
| 285
|
April 7, 2002
|
no gag
|
Weekend at Burnsie's
|
| 286
|
April 21, 2002
|
no gag
|
Gump Roast
|
| 287
|
April 28, 2002
|
no gag
|
I Am Furious Yellow
|
| 288
|
May 5, 2002
|
I will never lie about being cancelled again (a reference to Matt Groening spreading a rumor that The Simpsons was going to end its run after this season)
|
The Sweetest Apu
|
| 289
|
May 12, 2002
|
no gag
|
Little Girl in the Big Ten
|
| 290
|
May 19, 2002
|
no gag
|
The Frying Game
|
| 291
|
May 22, 2002
|
no gag
|
Papa's Got a Brand New Badge
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 292
|
November 3, 2002
|
no gag
|
Treehouse of Horror XIII
|
| 293
|
November 10, 2002
|
no gag
|
How I Spent My Strummer Vacation
|
| 294
|
November 17, 2002
|
Fish do not like coffee
|
Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade
|
| 295
|
November 24, 2002
|
no gag
|
Large Marge
|
| 296
|
December 1, 2002
|
Milhouse did not test cootie positive
|
Helter Shelter
|
| 297
|
December 15, 2002
|
no gag
|
The Great Louse Detective
|
| 298
|
January 5, 2003
|
no gag
|
Special Edna
|
| 299
|
January 12, 2003
|
no gag
|
The Dad Who Knew Too Little
|
| 300
|
February 2, 2003
|
This school does not need a "regime change" (reference to the then-upcoming War In Iraq)
|
Strong Arms of the Ma
|
| 301
|
February 9, 2003
|
SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
|
Pray Anything
|
| 302
|
February 16, 2003
|
I will not (Bart then destroys the chalkboard with an axe and runs out the school laughing.)
|
Barting Over
|
| 303
|
February 16, 2003
|
no gag
|
I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can
|
| 304
|
March 2, 2003
|
no gag
|
A Star Is Born-Again
|
| 305
|
March 9, 2003
|
no gag
|
Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington
|
| 306
|
March 16, 2003
|
no gag
|
C.E. D'oh
|
| 307
|
March 30, 2003
|
no gag
|
'Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky
|
| 308
|
April 13, 2003
|
no gag
|
Three Gays of the Condo
|
| 309
|
April 27, 2003
|
no gag
|
Dude, Where's My Ranch?
|
| 310
|
May 4, 2003
|
My pen is not a booger launcher
|
Old Yeller Belly
|
| 311
|
May 11, 2003
|
no gag
|
Brake My Wife, Please
|
| 312
|
May 18, 2003
|
Sandwiches should not contain sand
|
Bart of War
|
| 313
|
May 18, 2003
|
no gag
|
Moe Baby Blues
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 314
|
November 2, 2003
|
no gag
|
Treehouse of Horror XIV
|
| 315
|
November 9, 2003
|
no gag
|
My Mother the Carjacker
|
| 316
|
November 16, 2003
|
no gag
|
The President Wore Pearls
|
| 317
|
November 23, 2003
|
no gag
|
The Regina Monologues
|
| 318
|
November 30, 2003
|
no gag
|
The Fat and the Furriest
|
| 319
|
December 7, 2003
|
Over forty & single is not funny
|
Today I Am a Clown
|
| 320
|
December 14, 2003
|
no gag
|
'Tis the Fifteenth Season
|
| 321
|
January 4, 2004
|
no gag
|
Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays
|
| 322
|
January 11, 2004
|
no gag
|
I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot
|
| 323
|
January 25, 2004
|
no gag
|
Diatribe of a Mad Housewife
|
| 324
|
February 8, 2004
|
no gag
|
Margical History Tour
|
| 325
|
February 15, 2004
|
no gag
|
Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore
|
| 326
|
February 22, 2004
|
no gag
|
Smart and Smarter
|
| 327
|
March 14, 2004
|
I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
|
The Ziff Who Came to Dinner
|
| 328
|
March 21, 2004
|
no gag
|
Co-Dependent's Day
|
| 329
|
March 28, 2004
|
no gag
|
The Wandering Juvie
|
| 330
|
April 18, 2004
|
no gag
|
My Big Fat Geek Wedding
|
| 331
|
April 25, 2004
|
no gag
|
Catch 'Em if You Can
|
| 332
|
May 2, 2004
|
no gag
|
Simple Simpson
|
| 333
|
May 9, 2004
|
no gag
|
The Way We Weren't
|
| 334
|
May 16, 2004
|
no gag
|
Bart-Mangled Banner
|
| 335
|
May 23, 2004
|
no gag
|
Fraudcast News
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 336
|
November 7, 2004
|
no gag
|
Treehouse of Horror XV
|
| 337
|
November 14, 2004
|
no gag
|
All's Fair in Oven War
|
| 338
|
November 21, 2004
|
no gag
|
Sleeping with the Enemy
|
| 339
|
December 5, 2004
|
Poking a dead raccoon is not research
|
She Used to Be My Girl
|
| 340
|
December 12, 2004
|
no gag
|
Fat Man and Little Boy
|
| 341
|
January 16, 2005
|
no gag
|
Midnight Rx
|
| 342
|
January 30, 2005
|
no gag
|
Mommie Beerest
|
| 343
|
February 6, 2005
|
no gag
|
Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass
|
| 344
|
February 13, 2005
|
no gag
|
Pranksta Rap
|
| 345
|
February 20, 2005
|
no gag
|
There's Something About Marrying
|
| 346
|
March 6, 2005
|
Beer in a milk carton is not milk
|
On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister
|
| 347
|
March 13, 2005
|
no gag
|
Goo Goo Gai Pan
|
| 348
|
March 20, 2005
|
no gag
|
Mobile Homer
|
| 349
|
April 3, 2005
|
no gag
|
The Seven-Beer Snitch
|
| 350
|
April 17, 2005
|
no gag
|
Future-Drama
|
| 351
|
May 1, 2005
|
no gag
|
Don't Fear the Roofer
|
| 352
|
May 1, 2005
|
There is no gag in the opening scene. In the middle of the episode, the chalkboard gag is replaced with Bart buying snacks from the vending machine.
|
The Heartbroke Kid
|
| 353
|
May 8, 2005
|
no gag
|
A Star Is Torn
|
| 354
|
May 8, 2005
|
no gag
|
Thank God It's Doomsday
|
| 355
|
May 15, 2005
|
A booger is not a bookmark
|
Home Away from Homer
|
| 356
|
May 15, 2005
|
no gag
|
The Father, The Son & The Holy Guest Star
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 357
|
September 11, 2005
|
Does any kid still do this anymore? (refers to the diminishing frequency of the chalkboard gag, as well as the real-life punishment)
|
Bonfire of the Manatees
|
| 358
|
September 18, 2005
|
no gag
|
The Girl Who Slept Too Little
|
| 359
|
September 25, 2005
|
no gag
|
Milhouse of Sand and Fog
|
| 360
|
November 6, 2005
|
no gag
|
Treehouse of Horror XVI
|
| 361
|
November 13, 2005
|
no gag
|
Marge's Son Poisoning
|
| 362
|
November 20, 2005
|
no gag
|
See Homer Run
|
| 363
|
November 27, 2005
|
no gag
|
The Last of the Red Hat Mamas
|
| 364
|
December 11, 2005
|
no gag
|
The Italian Bob
|
| 365
|
December 18, 2005
|
no gag
|
Simpsons Christmas Stories
|
| 366
|
January 8, 2006
|
I am not smarter than the President
|
Homer's Paternity Coot
|
| 367
|
January 29, 2006
|
Teacher was not dumped—it was mutual
|
We're on the Road to D'ohwhere
|
| 368
|
February 26, 2006
|
no gag
|
My Fair Laddy
|
| 369
|
March 12, 2006
|
no gag
|
The Seemingly Never-Ending Story
|
| 370
|
March 19, 2006
|
no gag
|
Bart Has Two Mommies
|
| 371
|
March 26, 2006
|
I will not laminate dog doo (The first airing of this episode included a special live action opening with 'I will not eat things for money' as the gag.)
|
Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife
|
| 372
|
April 2, 2006
|
I will not flip the classroom upside down (The classroom is flipped upside down.)
|
Million Dollar Abie
|
| 373
|
April 9, 2006
|
no gag
|
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bangalore
|
| 374
|
April 23, 2006
|
no gag
|
The Wettest Stories Ever Told
|
| 375
|
April 30, 2006
|
no gag
|
Girls Just Want to Have Sums
|
| 376
|
May 7, 2006
|
I will not leak the plot of the movie
|
Regarding Margie
|
| 377
|
May 14, 2006
|
Je ne parle pas français ("I do not speak French.")
|
The Monkey Suit
|
| 378
|
May 21, 2006
|
Have a great summer, everyone (last episode of the season)
|
Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 379
|
September 10, 2006
|
no gag
|
"The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer"
|
| 380
|
September 17, 2006
|
no gag
|
"Jazzy and the Pussycats"
|
| 381
|
September 24, 2006
|
no gag'(But during the episode, Skinner writes "A baby beat me up" when Bart begins torturing Skinner by taking advantage of his peanut allergy)
|
"Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em"
|
| 382
|
November 5, 2006
|
no gag
|
"Treehouse of Horror XVII"
|
| 383
|
November 12, 2006
|
We are not all naked under our clothes
|
"G.I. D'oh"
|
| 384
|
November 19, 2006
|
no gag
|
"Moe'N'a Lisa"
|
| 385
|
November 26, 2006
|
no gag
|
"Ice Cream of Margie (With the Light Blue Hair)"
|
| 386
|
December 10, 2006
|
no gag
|
"The Haw-Hawed Couple"
|
| 387
|
December 17, 2006
|
Frankincense is not a monster
|
"Kill Gil: Vols. 1 & 2"
|
| 388
|
January 7, 2007
|
no gag
|
"The Wife Aquatic"
|
| 389
|
January 28, 2007
|
no gag
|
"Revenge is a Dish Best Served Three Times"
|
| 390
|
February 11, 2007
|
no gag'(But during the episode, Bart writes "So long suckers")
|
"Little Big Girl"
|
| 391
|
February 18, 2007
|
no gag
|
"Springfield Up"
|
| 392
|
March 4, 2007
|
no gag
|
"Yokel Chords"
|
| 393
|
March 11, 2007
|
no gag
|
"Rome-old and Juli-eh"
|
| 394
|
March 25, 2007
|
Global Warming did not eat my homework
|
"Homerazzi"
|
| 395
|
April 22, 2007
|
no gag
|
"Marge Gamer"
|
| 396
|
April 29, 2007
|
no gag
|
"The Boys of Bummer"
|
| 397
|
May 6, 2007
|
I will not look up how much teacher makes
|
"Crook and Ladder"
|
| 398
|
May 13, 2007
|
Pearls are not oyster barf
|
"Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot"
|
| 399
|
May 20, 2007
|
no gag'(special 24-style opening)
|
"24 Minutes"
|
| 400
|
May 20, 2007
|
no gag'(normal opening sequence replaced with a black screen that says "20 years ago", followed by a full showing of the Tracy Ullman Show Simpsons short "Family Portrait")
|
"You Kent Always Say What You Want"
|
The Simpsons Movie
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Movie Name
|
| 1
|
July 27, 2007
|
I will not illegally download this movie
|
The Simpsons Movie
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 401
|
September 23, 2007
|
I will not wait 20 years to make another movie
|
"He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs"
|
| 402
|
September 30, 2007
|
The Wall Street Journal is better than ever
|
"The Homer of Seville"
|
| 403
|
October 7, 2007
|
no gag
|
"Midnight Towboy"
|
| 404
|
October 14, 2007
|
I am not a FDIC-insured bank.
|
"I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings"
|
| 405
|
November 4, 2007
|
no gag
|
"Treehouse of Horror XVIII"
|
| 406
|
November 11, 2007
|
There is no such thing as an iPoddy(NOTE: This episode has some added laughing from Bart while he runs out of the classroom.)
|
"Little Orphan Millie"
|
| 407
|
November 18, 2007
|
The Pilgrims were not illegal aliens
|
"Husbands and Knives"
|
| 408
|
November 25, 2007
|
no gag
|
"Funeral for a Fiend"
|
| 409
|
December 16, 2007
|
The capital of Montana is not "Hannah"
|
"Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind"
|
| 410
|
January 6, 2008
|
Teacher did not pay too much for her condo
|
"E Pluribus Wiggum"
|
| 411
|
January 27, 2008
|
no gag
|
"That '90s Show"
|
| 412
|
February 17, 2008
|
no gag
|
"Love, Springfieldian Style"
|
| 413
|
March 2, 2008
|
The art teacher is fat, not pregnant
|
"The Debarted"
|
| 414
|
March 9, 2008
|
no gag
|
"Dial 'N' for Nerder"
|
| 415
|
March 30, 2008
|
no gag
|
"Smoke On The Daughter"
|
| 416
|
April 13, 2008
|
no gag
|
"Papa Don't Leech"
|
| 417
|
April 27, 2008
|
A persons a person, no mater how Ralph.
|
"Apocalypse Cow"
|
| 418
|
May 4, 2008
|
no gag
|
"Any Given Sundance"
|
| 419
|
May 11, 2008
|
This punishment is not medivial. (in medivial writing style.)
|
"Mona Leaves-a"
|
| 420
|
MAy 18, 2008
|
no gag
|
"All About Lisa"
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 421
|
September 28, 2008
|
no gag
|
"Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes"
|
| 422
|
October 5, 2008
|
Teachers diet is working.
|
"Lost Verizon"
|
| 423
|
October 19, 2008
|
There is no such month as Rocktober
|
"Double, Double, Boy in Trouble"
|
| 424
|
November 2, 2008
|
None
|
"Treehouse of Horror XIX"
|
| 425
|
November 9, 2008
|
I did not see Teacher siphoning gas.
|
"Dangerous Curves"
|
| 426
|
November 16, 2008
|
No gag
|
"Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words"
|
| 427
|
November 30, 2008
|
Prosperity is just around the corner.
|
"Mypods and Boomsticks"
|
| 428
|
December 7, 2008
|
Jesus is not mad His birthday is on Christmas
|
"The Burns and the Bees"
|
| 429
|
January 25, 2009
|
I Will Not use Permanet ink on the Chalkboard
|
"Lisa The Drama Queen"
|
| 430
|
February 15, 2009
|
HDTV is Worth Every Cent (The episode was the first one in HD)
|
"Take My Life, Please"
|
| 431
|
March 1, 2009
|
"March Madness" is Not an Excuse for Missing School
|
"How the Test Was Won"
|
| 432
|
March 8, 2009
|
"I will not have fun with educational toys."
|
"No Loan Again, Naturally
|
| 433
|
March 15, 2009
|
No gag
|
"Gone Maggie Gone"
|
| 434
|
March 22, 2009
|
"Four leaf clovers are not mutant freaks."
|
"In the Name of the Grandfather"
|
| 435
|
March 29, 2009
|
"My piggy bank is not entitled to TARP funds."
|
"Wedding for Disaster"
|
| 436
|
April 5, 2009
|
No gag
|
"Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"
|
| 437
|
April 19, 2009
|
"I will not mock teacher's outdated cell phone."
|
"The Good, the Sad and the Drugly"
|
| 438
|
April 26, 2009
|
"I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy."
|
"Father Knows Worst"
|
| 439
|
May 3, 2009
|
No gag
|
"Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh"
|
| 440
|
May 10, 2009
|
No gag
|
"Four Great Women and a Manicure"
|
| 441
|
May 17, 2009
|
"It's 'Facebook,' not 'Assbook.'"
|
"Coming to Homerica"
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 442
|
September 27, 2009
|
"The class hamster isn't just sleeping."
|
"Homer the Whopper"
|
| 443
|
October 4, 2009
|
"Chalkboarding is not torture."
|
"Bart Gets a 'Z'"
|
| 444
|
October 11, 2009
|
"I am not allergic to long division."
|
"The Great Wife Hope"
|
| 445
|
October 18, 2009
|
None
|
"Treehouse of Horror XX"
|
| 446
|
November 15, 2009
|
"I do not have the hots for my mom."
|
"The Devil Wears Nada"
|
| 447
|
November 22, 2009
|
"Halloween doesn't kick Thanksgiving's ass."
|
"Pranks and Greens"
|
| 448
|
November 29, 2009
|
"Teachers' unions are not ruining this country."
|
"Rednecks and Broomsticks"
|
| 449
|
December 13, 2009
|
No gag
|
"O Brother, Where Bart Thou?"
|
| 450
|
January 3, 2010
|
No gag
|
"Thursdays with Abie"
|
| 451
|
January 10, 2010
|
"The world may end in 2012, but this show won't."
|
"Once Upon a Time in Springfield"
|
| 452
|
January 31, 2010
|
no gag
|
"Million Dollar Maybe"
|
| 453
|
February 14, 2010
|
no gag
|
"Boy Meets Curl"
|
| 454
|
February 21, 2010
|
No gag
|
"The Color Yellow"
|
| 455
|
March 14, 2010
|
No gag
|
"Postcards from the Wedge"
|
| 456
|
March 21, 2010
|
"WWII could not beat up WWI"
|
"Stealing First Base"
|
| 457
|
March 28, 2010
|
no gag
|
"The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed"
|
| 458
|
April 11, 2010
|
"Hot dogs are not bookmarks."
|
"American History X-cellent"
|
| 459
|
April 18, 2010
|
"This counts as gym and art class"
|
"Chief of Hearts"
|
| 460
|
April 25, 2010
|
"South Park, We'd Stand Beside You If We Weren't So Scared" (The South Park Creators had death threats)
|
"The Squirt and the Whale"
|
| 461
|
May 2, 2010
|
No Gag
|
"To Surveil With Love"
|
| 462
|
May 9, 2010
|
"Eating my vegetables IS NOT a Mother's Day present".
|
"Moe Letter Blues"
|
| 463
|
May 16, 2010
|
"Batman Is Not 'Nothing' Without His Utility Belt"
|
"The Bob Next Door"
|
| 464
|
May 23, 2010
|
"End of Lost: It was all the dog's dream. Watch Us."
|
"Judge Me Tender"
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 465
|
September 26, 2010
|
"When I slept in class it was not to help Leo DiCaprio"
|
"Elementary School Musical"
|
| 466
|
October 3, 2010
|
"I did not see Teacher applying for welfare"
|
"Loan-a Lisa"
|
| 467
|
October 10, 2010
|
"I will not write on the walls"
|
"MoneyBART"
|
| 468
|
November 7, 2010
|
No gag
|
"Treehouse of Horror XXI"
|
| 469
|
November 14, 2010
|
No gag
|
"Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life"
|
| 470
|
November 21, 2010
|
No gag
|
"The Fool Monty"
|
| 471
|
November 28, 2010
|
"A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" is as good as "A Charlie Brown Christmas"
|
"How Munched Is that Birdie in the Window?"
|
| 472
|
December 5, 2010
|
No gag
|
"The Fight Before Christmas"
|
| 473
|
December 12, 2010
|
"Candy canes are not elf bones"
|
"Donnie Fatso"
|
|
