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"Thank you, mouthy American child. Please to take my hockey tree."
―Kozlov to Lisa[src]
Character Information
Male ♂
Occupation: Ice hockey player
First appearance: "Helter Shelter"
Voiced by: Dan Castellaneta

Kozlov is a Russian ice hockey player who plays for the Springfield Ice-O-Topes.


The Simpson family attended an Ice-O-Topes game when Homer received skybox tickets as compensation for being injured at work. When Bart, Marge and Homer indulged in the skybox amenities to the point that they were completely ignoring the game, Lisa became disgusted and went to a spot next to the glass to watch the game by herself. She saw Kozlov take a shot on goal which the goaltender stopped easily. When the puck came back out to Kozlov, she hollered, "Hey, Kozlov! Aim for the five-hole! He's got an opening the size of Red Square!" Kozlov followed her advice, took the shot, and scored a goal. In gratitude, he gave her his stick, which he referred to as his "hockey tree".

Behind the Laughter[edit]

  • In ice hockey, "five-hole" is a nickname for the space between the goaltender's legs.
  • The hammer and sickle symbol can be seen in his stick.
  • The Russian word козлов is seen painted on his hockey stick. Pronounced "Kozlov," this word literally means "goats," but colloquially can mean jerk, asshole, or motherfucker.