Kirk Van Houten
Kirk Van Houten
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Character Information
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Kirk Van Houten is the father of Milhouse, and the remarried husband of Luann.
Contents
Early Life and Marriage
Kirk graduated from Gudger College.[1] He worked at his father-in-law's cracker factory, 'Southern Cracker' (the Dryyyyy Cracker), in middle management, but when Luann left him, he was fired from the factory. According to Luann, Kirk was not a very good provider, and she had to borrow money from her sister and steal clothes from the church donation box.
Kirk After Divorce
After the divorce, Kirk was stereotypical middle-aged male loser and deadbeat dad, with extreme emotional depression after his divorce from his wife Luann.[1] He has been seen with one girlfriend since - Starla, a chainsmoking alcoholic who stole his car. Luann got custody of Milhouse when they divorced, but Kirk has visiting rights. Much to his displeasure, Milhouse often addressed him as "Weekend Dad". Kirk sufferd from the need to cry all the time after his divorce, even in good times. He once cut his foot off to try and get his wife back.[2]
After being fired from the Cracker factory, he struggled to hold down a job. He was once employed as an assistant to the guy who puts fliers under people's windshield wipers.[3] Kirk also had a job standing on the curb holding a sign directing people to a condo development and worked as a scarecrow protecting a soy-bean crop, which resulted in his eye being gouged by a crow. Since being fired from the cracker company, Kirk seems to be unable to maintain a steady job. He atteneded Leavelle's Bodyguard Academy and he was also was a singer who sold his tapes from the trunk of his car. His song was titled "Can I Borrow A Feeling" and the album featured a picture of Kirk on the front in a robe, which he was using in an attempt to be a smoking jacket. He was also unemployed at some point, surviving on alimony payments and unemployment benefits.
Arrest
He was once arrest for kidnapping. When Bart went to a concert his parents banned him from, he hides at Kirk's apartment which leads to his arrest. Despite liking the attraction from the ladies outside the prison, he is released when Principal Skinner, Lisa and Alcatraaz find out Bart was lying.[4]
Remarriage
Kirk and Luann later remarried and while on honeymoon, were presumed dead. They were later found on a desert island when Milhouse's uncle's balloon crashed.
Trivia
- His arm was once cut off by wire Snake planted to kill Homer Simpson.[5]
- He seems to dislike children singing.
Non-canon
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The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened or existed. |
Kirk died in an episode of Treehouse of Horror when Homer became death and touched him at a baseball match, killing him.[6]
Appearances
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This article or section is incomplete.
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References
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Wikisimpsons has a collection of images related to Kirk Van Houten. |
Stonecutters
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Van Houten Family
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| Main family | ||
| Kirk Van Houten • Luann Van Houten • Milhouse Van Houten | ||
| Other family | ||
| Bastardo Mussolini • Grandma Van Houten • Grandpa Van Houten • Grandpa Van Houten's second wife • Luann's sister • Nana Sophie Mussolini • Norbert Van Houten • Annika Van Houten | ||
| Deceased members | ||
| Eliza Van Houten • Eustace Van Houten • Kirkedemious Van Houten • Milford Van Houten | ||
| Pets | ||
| Milhouse's dog • Taquito |
