| Dan Gillick
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| Character Information
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Dan Gillick was a former accountant for the Springfield Mafia. He currently works as an ear-piercing clerk in the Mall.
History
Homer met Dan, when his frisbee landed in Dan's backyard and he threw Bart after it. Dan enjoyed meeting him too.
At the beginning of the episode, Dan joins with the Pin Pals against the Holy Rollers, replacing Otto Mann who is suffering from a psychotic breakdown. When Dan was about to throw his ball, he receives a call from Fat Tony and has to forfeit the match, giving the Holy Rollers the victory.
Dan arrives at Luigi's, where Fat Tony announces that he'll be serving jury duty and due this, they have to appoint a temporary don and Fat Tony chooses Dan, much to the ire of the mobsters. Dan inmediately tells Fat Tony his concerns, that he won't blend-in, but Fat Tony gets angry and slams his fist in the table claiming that he knows what he's doing. After he's gone, Dan tries to blend in with the mobsters by doing an ice-breaking exercise, in which they will say something they're afraid of, which for Dan is the mobsters. Johnny Tightlips threatens Dan by telling him that he's afraid he'll kill him right now. So Dan fakes a call with his daughter (named Cassidy) and hypothetically "asks her" how does she would feel if Dan just "dissappears"?, to which "she answers" that she would feel sad and "starts to cry". Dan points this to the mobsters, which causes Louie call out Johnny asking him if he's proud of himself. Johnny only wonders if "Cassidy is a girls name now?".
Later that night, Dan has to cut expenses and shows the mobsters how much money they're spending and tries to suggest measures to save money. But the mobsters instead bully and disrespect Dan at every chance. Dan then tries to propose a new plan to save money, when they put a horse's head in someone's bed, they shouldn't let the rest of the animal go to waste and use other body parts, because according to him, there's not a body part of a horse that won't scare anyone. In answer the mobsters throw him body parts of horses, including a saddle and a dead jockey, which causes Dan to flinch and wonder if that was real.
The next night, Dan goes to Moe's Tavern, in which Homer and Moe are still sore because he forfeited the last night, enough that Homer doesn't want to see him, but he's scared by Moe to interact with Dan and Moe forces Dan to invite the barflies a beer. Dan then tells them that he's sorry for that, but he got the kind of job he can't just play hooky from and tells them how he's doing in his work. Moe gives him a tip: If he acts aggresive and twists the knife in his coworkers they leave him alone, claiming that he knows from experience. Dan decides to take Moe's tip into consideration and thanks him for giving him both an edge and an attitude, he drinks his beer and exits the bar.
That same night, Dan resumes his plans of cutting expenses and tests Moe's tip, so he behaves more aggressive towards the mobsters. Dan almost stabs Legs' hand, which he calls Dan out, Dan tells Legs that he will lose his hand for real if he keeps charging his manicure to them. He then asks the mobsters if they have a trouble with that and tells the mobsters that they won't have more tortellini and declares he's now dominating them. Luigi Risotto comes and overhears that and wonders if it's true they won't have more tortellini, Dan tells him firmly that only for christmas and funerals. Luigi doesn't like that and says that he needs the money for his english lessons and gives Dan a demostration, Dan is not impressed and Luigi smiles shakily.
Appearances
