Difference between revisions of "List of chalkboard gags"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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− | The following is a '''list of [[ | + | The following is a '''list of [[chalkboard gag]]s''' seen on '''[[The Simpsons (show)|The Simpsons]]'''. |
== [[The Simpsons (season 1)|Season 1]] == | == [[The Simpsons (season 1)|Season 1]] == | ||
Line 351: | Line 351: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|61 | |61 | ||
− | |October | + | |October 1, 1992 |
|My name is not "Dr. Death" | |My name is not "Dr. Death" | ||
|[[A Streetcar Named Marge]] | |[[A Streetcar Named Marge]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | |-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | ||
|62 | |62 | ||
− | |October | + | |October 8, 1992 |
|I will not defame New Orleans''(This was due to complaints regarding the [[A Streetcar Named Marge|previous episode]]'s song about New Orleans.)'' | |I will not defame New Orleans''(This was due to complaints regarding the [[A Streetcar Named Marge|previous episode]]'s song about New Orleans.)'' | ||
|[[Homer the Heretic]] | |[[Homer the Heretic]] | ||
Line 371: | Line 371: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|65 | |65 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 3, 1992 |
|I will not bury the new kid ''(During the episode, Marge writes "I will try to raise a better child.")'' | |I will not bury the new kid ''(During the episode, Marge writes "I will try to raise a better child.")'' | ||
|[[:Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie]] | |[[:Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | |-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | ||
|66 | |66 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 5, 1992 |
|I will not teach others to fly | |I will not teach others to fly | ||
|[[Marge Gets a Job]] | |[[Marge Gets a Job]] | ||
Line 391: | Line 391: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|69 | |69 | ||
− | |December | + | |December 3, 1992 |
|Teacher is not a leper | |Teacher is not a leper | ||
|[[Lisa's First Word]] | |[[Lisa's First Word]] | ||
Line 411: | Line 411: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|73 | |73 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 4, 1993 |
|The [[Seymour Skinner|principal]]'s toupée is not a frisbee | |The [[Seymour Skinner|principal]]'s toupée is not a frisbee | ||
|[[Brother from the Same Planet]] | |[[Brother from the Same Planet]] | ||
Line 431: | Line 431: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|77 | |77 | ||
− | |April | + | |April 1, 1993 |
|No one is interested in my underpants | |No one is interested in my underpants | ||
|[[:So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show]] | |[[:So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show]] | ||
Line 446: | Line 446: | ||
|-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | |-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | ||
|80 | |80 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 6, 1993 |
|I do not have diplomatic immunity | |I do not have diplomatic immunity | ||
|[[Marge in Chains]] | |[[Marge in Chains]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|81 | |81 | ||
− | |May 13,1993 | + | |May 13, 1993 |
|I will not charge admission to the bathroom | |I will not charge admission to the bathroom | ||
|[[Krusty Gets Kancelled]] | |[[Krusty Gets Kancelled]] | ||
Line 470: | Line 470: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|83 | |83 | ||
− | |October | + | |October 7, 1993 |
|The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy | |The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy | ||
|[[Cape Feare]] | |[[Cape Feare]] | ||
Line 490: | Line 490: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|87 | |87 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 4, 1993 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Marge on the Lam]] | |[[Marge on the Lam]] | ||
Line 505: | Line 505: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | |-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | ||
|90 | |90 | ||
− | |December | + | |December 9, 1993 |
|All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy | |All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy | ||
|[[The Last Temptation of Homer]] | |[[The Last Temptation of Homer]] | ||
Line 515: | Line 515: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | |-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | ||
|92 | |92 | ||
− | |January | + | |January 6, 1994 |
|I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers | |I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers | ||
|[[Homer the Vigilante]] | |[[Homer the Vigilante]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|93 | |93 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 3, 1994 |
|My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man | |My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man | ||
|[[Bart Gets Famous]] | |[[Bart Gets Famous]] | ||
Line 560: | Line 560: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|101 | |101 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 5, 1994 |
|There are plenty of businesses like show business | |There are plenty of businesses like show business | ||
|[[The Boy Who Knew Too Much]] | |[[The Boy Who Knew Too Much]] | ||
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|-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | ||
|104 | |104 | ||
− | |September | + | |September 4, 1994 |
|Beans are neither a fruit nor musical (This takes us back to "Whacking Day") | |Beans are neither a fruit nor musical (This takes us back to "Whacking Day") | ||
|[[Bart of Darkness]] | |[[Bart of Darkness]] | ||
Line 599: | Line 599: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|107 | |107 | ||
− | |October | + | |October 2, 1994 |
|I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr. | |I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr. | ||
|[[Itchy & Scratchy Land]] | |[[Itchy & Scratchy Land]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | ||
|108 | |108 | ||
− | |October | + | |October 9, 1994 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Sideshow Bob Roberts]] | |[[Sideshow Bob Roberts]] | ||
Line 614: | Line 614: | ||
|-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | ||
|110 | |110 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 6, 1994 |
|I will not send lard through the mail | |I will not send lard through the mail | ||
|[[Bart's Girlfriend]] | |[[Bart's Girlfriend]] | ||
Line 629: | Line 629: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|113 | |113 | ||
− | |December | + | |December 4, 1994 |
|My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man''(recycled from 1F11)'' | |My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man''(recycled from 1F11)'' | ||
|[[Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy]] | |[[Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy]] | ||
Line 639: | Line 639: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|115 | |115 | ||
− | |January | + | |January 8, 1995 |
|Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal | |Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal | ||
|[[Homer the Great]] | |[[Homer the Great]] | ||
Line 649: | Line 649: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|117 | |117 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 5, 1995 |
|Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does | |Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does | ||
|[[Bart's Comet]] | |[[Bart's Comet]] | ||
Line 669: | Line 669: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|121 | |121 | ||
− | |March | + | |March 5, 1995 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[A Star Is Burns]] | |[[A Star Is Burns]] | ||
Line 679: | Line 679: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|123 | |123 | ||
− | |April | + | |April 9, 1995 |
|The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far | |The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far | ||
|[[Two Dozen and One Greyhounds]] | |[[Two Dozen and One Greyhounds]] | ||
Line 694: | Line 694: | ||
|-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | ||
|126 | |126 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 7, 1995 |
|I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface | |I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface | ||
|[[The Springfield Connection]] | |[[The Springfield Connection]] | ||
Line 728: | Line 728: | ||
|-style="background-color:#F1F1F9" | |-style="background-color:#F1F1F9" | ||
|131 | |131 | ||
− | |October | + | |October 1, 1995 |
|No one wants to hear from my armpits | |No one wants to hear from my armpits | ||
|[[Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily]] | |[[Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|132 | |132 | ||
− | |October | + | |October 8, 1995 |
|I am not a lean mean spitting machine | |I am not a lean mean spitting machine | ||
|[[Bart Sells His Soul]] | |[[Bart Sells His Soul]] | ||
Line 748: | Line 748: | ||
|-style="background-color:#F1F1F9" | |-style="background-color:#F1F1F9" | ||
|135 | |135 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 5, 1995 |
|Indian burns are not our cultural heritage | |Indian burns are not our cultural heritage | ||
|[[King-Size Homer]] | |[[King-Size Homer]] | ||
Line 763: | Line 763: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|138 | |138 | ||
− | |December | + | |December 3, 1995 |
|I will only do this once a year ''("[[The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular]]," a clip show)'' | |I will only do this once a year ''("[[The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular]]," a clip show)'' | ||
|[[The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular]] | |[[The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular]] | ||
Line 773: | Line 773: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|140 | |140 | ||
− | |January | + | |January 7, 1996 |
|I am not certified to remove asbestos | |I am not certified to remove asbestos | ||
|[[Team Homer]] | |[[Team Homer]] | ||
Line 783: | Line 783: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|142 | |142 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 4, 1996 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield]] | |[[Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield]] | ||
Line 828: | Line 828: | ||
|-style="background-color:#F1F1F9" | |-style="background-color:#F1F1F9" | ||
|151 | |151 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 5, 1996 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Much Apu About Nothing]] | |[[Much Apu About Nothing]] | ||
Line 857: | Line 857: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|155 | |155 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 3, 1996 |
|I did not learn everything I need to know from kindergarten | |I did not learn everything I need to know from kindergarten | ||
|[[You Only Move Twice]] | |[[You Only Move Twice]] | ||
Line 877: | Line 877: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|159 | |159 | ||
− | |December | + | |December 1, 1996 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[A Milhouse Divided]] | |[[A Milhouse Divided]] | ||
Line 892: | Line 892: | ||
|-style="background-color:#EDF6F8" | |-style="background-color:#EDF6F8" | ||
|162 | |162 | ||
− | |January | + | |January 5, 1997 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)]] | |[[El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)]] | ||
Line 907: | Line 907: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|165 | |165 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 2, 1997 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Mountain of Madness]] | |[[Mountain of Madness]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#EDF6F8" | |-style="background-color:#EDF6F8" | ||
|166 | |166 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 7, 1997 |
|I will not hide the teacher's Prozac | |I will not hide the teacher's Prozac | ||
|[[Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious]] | |[[Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|167 | |167 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 9, 1997 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show]] | |[[The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show]] | ||
Line 932: | Line 932: | ||
|-style="background-color:#EDF6F8" | |-style="background-color:#EDF6F8" | ||
|170 | |170 | ||
− | |March | + | |March 2, 1997 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[My Sister, My Sitter]] | |[[My Sister, My Sitter]] | ||
Line 942: | Line 942: | ||
|-style="background-color:#EDF6F8" | |-style="background-color:#EDF6F8" | ||
|172 | |172 | ||
− | |April | + | |April 6, 1997 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Grade School Confidential]] | |[[Grade School Confidential]] | ||
Line 962: | Line 962: | ||
|-style="background-color:#EDF6F8" | |-style="background-color:#EDF6F8" | ||
|176 | |176 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 4, 1997 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Homer's Enemy]] | |[[Homer's Enemy]] | ||
Line 1,006: | Line 1,006: | ||
|-style="background-color:#F7D6E8" | |-style="background-color:#F7D6E8" | ||
|183 | |183 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 2, 1997 |
|Everyone is tired of that [[Wikipedia:Richard Gere|Richard Gere]] story. | |Everyone is tired of that [[Wikipedia:Richard Gere|Richard Gere]] story. | ||
|[[The Cartridge Family]] | |[[The Cartridge Family]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|184 | |184 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 9, 1997 |
|I did not invent Irish dancing. | |I did not invent Irish dancing. | ||
|[[Bart Star]] | |[[Bart Star]] | ||
Line 1,026: | Line 1,026: | ||
|-style="background-color:#F7D6E8" | |-style="background-color:#F7D6E8" | ||
|187 | |187 | ||
− | |December | + | |December 7, 1997 |
|There was no Roman god named "Fartacus" | |There was no Roman god named "Fartacus" | ||
|[[Realty Bites]] | |[[Realty Bites]] | ||
Line 1,036: | Line 1,036: | ||
|-style="background-color:#F7D6E8" | |-style="background-color:#F7D6E8" | ||
|189 | |189 | ||
− | |January | + | |January 4, 1998 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[All Singing, All Dancing]] | |[[All Singing, All Dancing]] | ||
Line 1,046: | Line 1,046: | ||
|-style="background-color:#F7D6E8" | |-style="background-color:#F7D6E8" | ||
|191 | |191 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 8, 1998 |
|Shooting paintballs is not an art form | |Shooting paintballs is not an art form | ||
|[[The Joy of Sect]] | |[[The Joy of Sect]] | ||
Line 1,061: | Line 1,061: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|194 | |194 | ||
− | |March | + | |March 1, 1998 |
|Silly string is not a nasal spray. | |Silly string is not a nasal spray. | ||
|[[Dumbbell Indemnity]] | |[[Dumbbell Indemnity]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#F7D6E8" | |-style="background-color:#F7D6E8" | ||
|195 | |195 | ||
− | |March | + | |March 8, 1998 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Lisa the Simpson]] | |[[Lisa the Simpson]] | ||
Line 1,081: | Line 1,081: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|198 | |198 | ||
− | |April | + | |April 5, 1998 |
|I will not demand what I'm worth ''(This is a reference to the voice cast's recent demands for higher pay.)'' | |I will not demand what I'm worth ''(This is a reference to the voice cast's recent demands for higher pay.)'' | ||
|[[The Trouble With Trillions]] | |[[The Trouble With Trillions]] | ||
Line 1,096: | Line 1,096: | ||
|-style="background-color:#F7D6E8" | |-style="background-color:#F7D6E8" | ||
|201 | |201 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 3, 1998 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[King of the Hill (The Simpsons)|King of the Hill]] | |[[King of the Hill (The Simpsons)|King of the Hill]] | ||
Line 1,126: | Line 1,126: | ||
|205 | |205 | ||
|September 20, 1998 | |September 20, 1998 | ||
− | |I will not file [http: | + | |I will not file [http://index.php?title=Frivolous_litigation&action=edit&redlink=1 frivolous lawsuits] |
|[[The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace]] | |[[The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | |-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | ||
Line 1,140: | Line 1,140: | ||
|-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | |-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | ||
|208 | |208 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 8, 1998 |
− | |"butt.com" is not my [http: | + | |"butt.com" is not my [http://index.php?title=E-mail_address&action=edit&redlink=1 E-mail address]''(This was changed to "butt.butt" in later airings since butt.com was revealed to be a real website. Butt.com still appeared in syndication, however.)'' |
|[[When You Dish upon a Star]] | |[[When You Dish upon a Star]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|209 | |209 | ||
|November 15, 1998 | |November 15, 1998 | ||
− | |No one cares what my [http: | + | |No one cares what my [http://index.php?title=Lewinsky_scandal&action=edit&redlink=1 definition of "is"] is |
|[[D'oh-in in the Wind]] | |[[D'oh-in in the Wind]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | |-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | ||
|210 | |210 | ||
|November 22, 1998 | |November 22, 1998 | ||
− | |I will not scream for [http: | + | |I will not scream for [http://index.php?title=Ice_cream&action=edit&redlink=1 ice cream] |
|[[Lisa Gets an "A"]] | |[[Lisa Gets an "A"]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|211 | |211 | ||
− | |December | + | |December 6, 1998 |
− | |I am not a licensed [http: | + | |I am not a licensed [http://index.php?title=Hairstylist&action=edit&redlink=1 hairstylist] |
|[[:Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"]] | |[[:Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | |-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | ||
Line 1,166: | Line 1,166: | ||
|213 | |213 | ||
|January 10, 1999 | |January 10, 1999 | ||
− | |My mom is not dating [http: | + | |My mom is not dating [http://index.php?title=Jerry_Seinfeld&action=edit&redlink=1 Jerry Seinfeld] |
|[[Viva Ned Flanders]] | |[[Viva Ned Flanders]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | |-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | ||
|214 | |214 | ||
|January 17, 1999 | |January 17, 1999 | ||
− | |[[Sherri and Terri|Sherri]] does not "[http: | + | |[[Sherri and Terri|Sherri]] does not "[http://index.php?title=Baby_Got_Back&action=edit&redlink=1 got back]" |
|[[Wild Barts Can't Be Broken]] | |[[Wild Barts Can't Be Broken]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|215 | |215 | ||
|January 31, 1999 | |January 31, 1999 | ||
− | |I will not do "[http: | + | |I will not do "[http://index.php?title=Atlanta_Falcons&action=edit&redlink=1 the dirty bird]" ''(This episode aired the night of [http://index.php?title=Super_Bowl_XXXIII&action=edit&redlink=1 Super Bowl XXXIII], in which the [http://index.php?title=Atlanta_Falcons&action=edit&redlink=1 Atlanta Falcons], for whom "The Dirty Bird" was a signature dance/celebration, played.)'' |
|[[Sunday, Cruddy Sunday]] | |[[Sunday, Cruddy Sunday]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | |-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | ||
|216 | |216 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 7, 1999 |
− | |No one cares about my [http: | + | |No one cares about my [http://index.php?title=Sciatica&action=edit&redlink=1 sciatica] |
|[[Homer to the Max]] | |[[Homer to the Max]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|217 | |217 | ||
|February 14, 1999 | |February 14, 1999 | ||
− | |[http: | + | |[http://index.php?title=Hillbilly&action=edit&redlink=1 Hillbillies] are people too |
|[[I'm with Cupid]] | |[[I'm with Cupid]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | |-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | ||
|218 | |218 | ||
|February 21, 1999 | |February 21, 1999 | ||
− | |[http: | + | |[http://index.php?title=Grammar&action=edit&redlink=1 Grammar] is not a time of waste |
|[[:Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"]] | |[[:Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|219 | |219 | ||
|February 28, 1999 | |February 28, 1999 | ||
− | |I do not have [http: | + | |I do not have [http://index.php?title=Diplomatic_immunity&action=edit&redlink=1 diplomatic immunity] (Taken from 9F20) |
|[[Make Room for Lisa]] | |[[Make Room for Lisa]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | |-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | ||
|220 | |220 | ||
|March 28, 1999 | |March 28, 1999 | ||
− | |It does not suck to be you (A reference to a [http: | + | |It does not suck to be you (A reference to a [http://index.php?title=Prozz%C3%A4k&action=edit&redlink=1 Prozzäk] song) |
|[[Maximum Homerdrive]] | |[[Maximum Homerdrive]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|221 | |221 | ||
− | |April | + | |April 4, 1999 |
− | |I cannot [http: | + | |I cannot [http://index.php?title=Absolution&action=edit&redlink=1 absolve] sins ''(And during Lisa's dream in the episode:'' I will not deface'' using hieroglyphics where possible)'' |
|[[Simpsons Bible Stories]] | |[[Simpsons Bible Stories]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | |-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | ||
Line 1,216: | Line 1,216: | ||
|223 | |223 | ||
|April 25, 1999 | |April 25, 1999 | ||
− | |Loose [http: | + | |Loose [http://index.php?title=Tooth&action=edit&redlink=1 teeth] don't need my help |
|[[The Old Man and the "C" Student]] | |[[The Old Man and the "C" Student]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | |-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | ||
|224 | |224 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 2, 1999 |
|I have neither been there nor done that | |I have neither been there nor done that | ||
|[[Monty Can't Buy Me Love]] | |[[Monty Can't Buy Me Love]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|225 | |225 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 9, 1999 |
|No one wants to hear from my armpits (This is from 3F01) | |No one wants to hear from my armpits (This is from 3F01) | ||
|[[They Saved Lisa's Brain]] | |[[They Saved Lisa's Brain]] | ||
Line 1,246: | Line 1,246: | ||
|227 | |227 | ||
|September 26, 1999 | |September 26, 1999 | ||
− | |Fridays are not "[http: | + | |Fridays are not "[http://index.php?title=Clothing_optional&action=edit&redlink=1 pants optional]" ''(In Australia, [http://index.php?title=Hamish_and_Andy&action=edit&redlink=1 Hamish and Andy] (a comedy duo) have decided that Friday should be Pants off Friday.)'' |
|[[Beyond Blunderdome]] | |[[Beyond Blunderdome]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|228 | |228 | ||
− | |October | + | |October 3, 1999 |
− | |[http: | + | |[http://index.php?title=Pork&action=edit&redlink=1 Pork] is not a [http://index.php?title=Verb&action=edit&redlink=1 verb]''(the irony is that "pork" is a verb, albeit a vulgar slang term, meaning "to have sexual intercourse with")'' |
|[[Brother's Little Helper]] | |[[Brother's Little Helper]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | |-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | ||
|229 | |229 | ||
|October 24, 1999 | |October 24, 1999 | ||
− | |I am not [http: | + | |I am not [http://index.php?title=The_Last_Don&action=edit&redlink=1 the last Don]''(Possibly a reference to the 1997 TV minseries of the same name, which starred [[Joe Mantegna]], voice of recurring Simpsons character [[Fat Tony]])'' |
|[[Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?]] | |[[Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
Line 1,265: | Line 1,265: | ||
|-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | |-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | ||
|231 | |231 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 7, 1999 |
− | |I did not win the [http: | + | |I did not win the [http://index.php?title=Nobel_Prize&action=edit&redlink=1 Nobel Fart Prize] |
|[[E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)]] | |[[E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|232 | |232 | ||
|November 14, 1999 | |November 14, 1999 | ||
− | |I won't not use no [http: | + | |I won't not use no [http://index.php?title=Double_negative&action=edit&redlink=1 double negatives]''(since three negatives are used, the sentence is true)'' |
|[[Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder]] | |[[Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | |-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | ||
|233 | |233 | ||
|November 21, 1999 | |November 21, 1999 | ||
− | |[http: | + | |[http://index.php?title=School_prank&action=edit&redlink=1 Indian burns] are not our cultural heritage (This is from 3F05) |
|[[Eight Misbehavin']] | |[[Eight Misbehavin']] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|234 | |234 | ||
|November 28, 1999 | |November 28, 1999 | ||
− | |I can't see dead people (This is a reference to [http: | + | |I can't see dead people (This is a reference to [http://index.php?title=The_Sixth_Sense&action=edit&redlink=1 The Sixth Sense]) |
|[[Take My Wife, Sleaze]] | |[[Take My Wife, Sleaze]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | |-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | ||
|235 | |235 | ||
|December 19, 1999 | |December 19, 1999 | ||
− | |I will not [http: | + | |I will not [http://index.php?title=Organ_transplant&action=edit&redlink=1 sell my kidney] on [http://index.php?title=EBay&action=edit&redlink=1 eBay] (this is impossible now, since eBay prohibits the sale of organs) |
|[[Grift of the Magi]] | |[[Grift of the Magi]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|236 | |236 | ||
|January 9, 2000 | |January 9, 2000 | ||
− | |I will not [http: | + | |I will not [http://index.php?title=Chris_Ofili&action=edit&redlink=1 create art from dung] |
|[[Little Big Mom]] | |[[Little Big Mom]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | |-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | ||
Line 1,305: | Line 1,305: | ||
|-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | |-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | ||
|239 | |239 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 6, 2000 |
− | |Substitute teachers are not [http: | + | |Substitute teachers are not [http://index.php?title=Strike_action&action=edit&redlink=1 scabs] |
|[[Saddlesore Galactica]] | |[[Saddlesore Galactica]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|240 | |240 | ||
|February 13, 2000 | |February 13, 2000 | ||
− | |My [http: | + | |My [http://index.php?title=Suspension_(school_punishment)&action=edit&redlink=1 suspension] was not mutual |
|[[Alone Again, Natura-Diddily]] | |[[Alone Again, Natura-Diddily]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | |-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | ||
|241 | |241 | ||
|February 20, 2000 | |February 20, 2000 | ||
− | |A [http: | + | |A [http://index.php?title=Belch&action=edit&redlink=1 belch] is not an oral report |
|[[:Missionary: Impossible]] | |[[:Missionary: Impossible]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|242 | |242 | ||
|February 27, 2000 | |February 27, 2000 | ||
− | |[http: | + | |[http://index.php?title=Dodgeball&action=edit&redlink=1 Dodgeball] stops at the gym door |
|[[Pygmoelian]] | |[[Pygmoelian]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | |-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | ||
|243 | |243 | ||
|March 19, 2000 | |March 19, 2000 | ||
− | |[http: | + | |[http://index.php?title=Flammable&action=edit&redlink=1 Non-flammable] is not a challenge |
|[[Bart to the Future]] | |[[Bart to the Future]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|244 | |244 | ||
− | |April | + | |April 9, 2000 |
− | |I was not [http: | + | |I was not [http://index.php?title=Sexual_harassment&action=edit&redlink=1 touched][http://index.php?title=Penis&action=edit&redlink=1 "there"][http://index.php?title=Touched_by_an_Angel&action=edit&redlink=1 by an angel] |
|[[Days of Wine and D'oh'ses]] | |[[Days of Wine and D'oh'ses]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | |-style="background-color:#D0E0E5" | ||
|245 | |245 | ||
|April 30, 2000 | |April 30, 2000 | ||
− | |I am not here on a fartball [http: | + | |I am not here on a fartball [http://index.php?title=Scholarship&action=edit&redlink=1 scholarship] |
|[[Kill the Alligator and Run]] | |[[Kill the Alligator and Run]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|246 | |246 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 7, 2000 |
|I will not dance on anyone's grave | |I will not dance on anyone's grave | ||
|[[Last Tap Dance in Springfield]] | |[[Last Tap Dance in Springfield]] | ||
Line 1,364: | Line 1,364: | ||
|-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | |-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | ||
|249 | |249 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 1, 2000 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Treehouse of Horror XI]] | |[[Treehouse of Horror XI]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|250 | |250 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 5, 2000 |
− | |I will not plant sublimin<span style="color: green;">'''al'''</span> messa'''[http: | + | |I will not plant sublimin<span style="color: green;">'''al'''</span> messa'''[http://index.php?title=Al_Gore&action=edit&redlink=1 <span style="color: green;">gore</span>]'''s (aired two days before the [http://index.php?title=United_States_presidential_election,_2000&action=edit&redlink=1 2000 U.S. presidential election]) |
|[[A Tale of Two Springfields]] | |[[A Tale of Two Springfields]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | |-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | ||
|251 | |251 | ||
|November 12, 2000 | |November 12, 2000 | ||
− | |I will not surprise the [http: | + | |I will not surprise the [http://index.php?title=Incontinence&action=edit&redlink=1 incontinent] |
|[[Insane Clown Poppy]] | |[[Insane Clown Poppy]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|252 | |252 | ||
|November 19, 2000 | |November 19, 2000 | ||
− | |I am not the [http: | + | |I am not the [http://index.php?title=Acting_President_of_the_United_States&action=edit&redlink=1 acting president] (aired during the legal contest over the results of the 2000 presidential election) |
|[[Lisa the Tree Hugger]] | |[[Lisa the Tree Hugger]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | |-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | ||
|253 | |253 | ||
|November 26, 2000 | |November 26, 2000 | ||
− | |I was not the [http: | + | |I was not the [http://index.php?title=Fifth_Beatle&action=edit&redlink=1 sixth Beatle] |
|[[Homer vs. Dignity]] | |[[Homer vs. Dignity]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|254 | |254 | ||
− | |December | + | |December 3, 2000 |
|I will only provide a urine sample when asked | |I will only provide a urine sample when asked | ||
|[[The Computer Wore Menace Shoes]] | |[[The Computer Wore Menace Shoes]] | ||
Line 1,400: | Line 1,400: | ||
|256 | |256 | ||
|December 17, 2000 | |December 17, 2000 | ||
− | |Science class should not end in [http: | + | |Science class should not end in [http://index.php?title=Tragedy&action=edit&redlink=1 tragedy]''(During the episode, Skinner writes "I ain't not a dorkus")'' |
|[[Skinner's Sense of Snow]] | |[[Skinner's Sense of Snow]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | |-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | ||
|257 | |257 | ||
− | |January | + | |January 7, 2001 |
|Network TV is not dead | |Network TV is not dead | ||
|[[HOMR]] | |[[HOMR]] | ||
Line 1,410: | Line 1,410: | ||
|258 | |258 | ||
|January 14, 2001 | |January 14, 2001 | ||
− | |I will not "[http: | + | |I will not "[http://index.php?title=Who_Let_the_Dogs_Out&action=edit&redlink=1 let the dogs out]" ''(reference a song made popular by the [[Baha Men]])'' |
|[[Pokey Mom]] | |[[Pokey Mom]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | |-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | ||
|259 | |259 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 4, 2001 |
|I will not hide the teacher's medication | |I will not hide the teacher's medication | ||
|[[Worst Episode Ever]] | |[[Worst Episode Ever]] | ||
Line 1,420: | Line 1,420: | ||
|260 | |260 | ||
|February 11, 2001 | |February 11, 2001 | ||
− | |I will not publish the principal's [http: | + | |I will not publish the principal's [http://index.php?title=Credit_history&action=edit&redlink=1 credit report] |
|[[Tennis the Menace]] | |[[Tennis the Menace]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | |-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | ||
Line 1,430: | Line 1,430: | ||
|262 | |262 | ||
|February 25, 2001 | |February 25, 2001 | ||
− | |I will not buy a [http: | + | |I will not buy a [http://index.php?title=Presidential_pardon&action=edit&redlink=1 presidential pardon]''(This refers to the [http://index.php?title=Bill_Clinton_pardons_controversy&action=edit&redlink=1 Bill Clinton pardons controversy], involving 140 pardons he issued on his last day in office.)'' |
|[[New Kids on the Blecch]] | |[[New Kids on the Blecch]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | |-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | ||
|263 | |263 | ||
− | |March | + | |March 4, 2001 |
− | |"[http: | + | |"[http://index.php?title=Temptation_Island&action=edit&redlink=1 Temptation Island]" was not a sleazy piece of crap |
|[[Hungry, Hungry Homer]] | |[[Hungry, Hungry Homer]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|264 | |264 | ||
|March 11, 2001 | |March 11, 2001 | ||
− | |I will not scare the [http: | + | |I will not scare the [http://index.php?title=Dick_Cheney&action=edit&redlink=1 vice president]''(a reference to VP Cheney's heart condition)'' |
|[[Bye Bye Nerdie]] | |[[Bye Bye Nerdie]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | |-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | ||
|265 | |265 | ||
− | |April | + | |April 1, 2001 |
|I will not flush evidence | |I will not flush evidence | ||
|[[Simpson Safari]] | |[[Simpson Safari]] | ||
Line 1,454: | Line 1,454: | ||
|-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | |-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | ||
|267 | |267 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 6, 2001 |
− | |[http: | + | |[http://index.php?title=Genetics&action=edit&redlink=1 Genetics] is not an excuse |
|[[I'm Goin' to Praiseland]] | |[[I'm Goin' to Praiseland]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|268 | |268 | ||
|May 13, 2001 | |May 13, 2001 | ||
− | |Today is not [http: | + | |Today is not [http://index.php?title=Mothra&action=edit&redlink=1 Mothra]'s Day ''(This episode aired on [http://index.php?title=Mother%27s_Day&action=edit&redlink=1 Mother's Day].)'' |
|[[Children of a Lesser Clod]] | |[[Children of a Lesser Clod]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | |-style="background-color:#F0A1A6" | ||
Line 1,504: | Line 1,504: | ||
|275 | |275 | ||
|December 16, 2001 | |December 16, 2001 | ||
− | |I do not have a cereal named after me ''(In fact, he did: "[http: | + | |I do not have a cereal named after me ''(In fact, he did: "[http://index.php?title=Bart_Simpson_Peanut_Butter_Chocolate_Crunch&action=edit&redlink=1 Bart Simpson Peanut Butter Chocolate Crunch]". In the UK they released "[http://index.php?title=Bart_Simpson%27s_No_Problem-os&action=edit&redlink=1 Bart Simpson's No Problem-os])'' |
|[[She of Little Faith]] | |[[She of Little Faith]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#D0B2F0" | |-style="background-color:#D0B2F0" | ||
Line 1,597: | Line 1,597: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
|292 | |292 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 3, 2002 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Treehouse of Horror XIII]] | |[[Treehouse of Horror XIII]] | ||
Line 1,608: | Line 1,608: | ||
|294 | |294 | ||
|November 17, 2002 | |November 17, 2002 | ||
− | |Fish do not like [http: | + | |Fish do not like [http://index.php?title=Coffee&action=edit&redlink=1 coffee] |
|[[Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade]] | |[[Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
Line 1,617: | Line 1,617: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
|296 | |296 | ||
− | |December | + | |December 1, 2002 |
− | |[[Milhouse Van Houten|Milhouse]] did not test [http: | + | |[[Milhouse Van Houten|Milhouse]] did not test [http://index.php?title=Cooties&action=edit&redlink=1 cootie] positive |
|[[Helter Shelter]] | |[[Helter Shelter]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
Line 1,627: | Line 1,627: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
|298 | |298 | ||
− | |January | + | |January 5, 2003 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Special Edna]] | |[[Special Edna]] | ||
Line 1,637: | Line 1,637: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
|300 | |300 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 2, 2003 |
− | |This school does not need a "[http: | + | |This school does not need a "[http://index.php?title=Regime_change&action=edit&redlink=1 regime change]" ''(reference to the then-upcoming [http://index.php?title=2003_Invasion_of_Iraq&action=edit&redlink=1 War In Iraq])'' |
|[[Strong Arms of the Ma]] | |[[Strong Arms of the Ma]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|301 | |301 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 9, 2003 |
− | |[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] is not a [http: | + | |[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] is not a [http://index.php?title=Contraceptive&action=edit&redlink=1 contraceptive] |
|[[Pray Anything]] | |[[Pray Anything]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
Line 1,657: | Line 1,657: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
|304 | |304 | ||
− | |March | + | |March 2, 2003 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[A Star Is Born-Again]] | |[[A Star Is Born-Again]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|305 | |305 | ||
− | |March | + | |March 9, 2003 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington]] | |[[Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington]] | ||
Line 1,687: | Line 1,687: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
|310 | |310 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 4, 2003 |
− | |My pen is not a [http: | + | |My pen is not a [http://index.php?title=Booger&action=edit&redlink=1 booger] launcher |
|[[Old Yeller Belly]] | |[[Old Yeller Belly]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
Line 1,698: | Line 1,698: | ||
|312 | |312 | ||
|May 18, 2003 | |May 18, 2003 | ||
− | |[http: | + | |[http://index.php?title=Sandwich&action=edit&redlink=1 Sandwiches] should not contain [http://index.php?title=Sand&action=edit&redlink=1 sand] |
|[[Bart of War]] | |[[Bart of War]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
Line 1,716: | Line 1,716: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
|314 | |314 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 2, 2003 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Treehouse of Horror XIV]] | |[[Treehouse of Horror XIV]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|315 | |315 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 9, 2003 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[My Mother the Carjacker]] | |[[My Mother the Carjacker]] | ||
Line 1,741: | Line 1,741: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|319 | |319 | ||
− | |December | + | |December 7, 2003 |
|Over forty & single is not funny | |Over forty & single is not funny | ||
|[[Today I Am a Clown]] | |[[Today I Am a Clown]] | ||
Line 1,751: | Line 1,751: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|321 | |321 | ||
− | |January | + | |January 4, 2004 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays]] | |[[Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays]] | ||
Line 1,766: | Line 1,766: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
|324 | |324 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 8, 2004 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Margical History Tour]] | |[[Margical History Tour]] | ||
Line 1,806: | Line 1,806: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
|332 | |332 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 2, 2004 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Simple Simpson]] | |[[Simple Simpson]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|333 | |333 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 9, 2004 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[The Way We Weren't]] | |[[The Way We Weren't]] | ||
Line 1,836: | Line 1,836: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
|336 | |336 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 7, 2004 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Treehouse of Horror XV]] | |[[Treehouse of Horror XV]] | ||
Line 1,851: | Line 1,851: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|339 | |339 | ||
− | |December | + | |December 5, 2004 |
− | |Poking a dead [http: | + | |Poking a dead [http://index.php?title=Raccoon&action=edit&redlink=1 raccoon] is not research |
|[[She Used to Be My Girl]] | |[[She Used to Be My Girl]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
Line 1,871: | Line 1,871: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|343 | |343 | ||
− | |February | + | |February 6, 2005 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass]] | |[[Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass]] | ||
Line 1,886: | Line 1,886: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
|346 | |346 | ||
− | |March | + | |March 6, 2005 |
− | |Beer in a [http: | + | |Beer in a [http://index.php?title=Milk_carton&action=edit&redlink=1 milk carton] is not milk |
|[[On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister]] | |[[On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
Line 1,901: | Line 1,901: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|349 | |349 | ||
− | |April | + | |April 3, 2005 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[The Seven-Beer Snitch]] | |[[The Seven-Beer Snitch]] | ||
Line 1,911: | Line 1,911: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|351 | |351 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 1, 2005 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Don't Fear the Roofer]] | |[[Don't Fear the Roofer]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
|352 | |352 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 1, 2005 |
|''There is no gag in the opening scene. In the middle of the episode, the chalkboard gag is replaced with Bart buying snacks from the vending machine.'' | |''There is no gag in the opening scene. In the middle of the episode, the chalkboard gag is replaced with Bart buying snacks from the vending machine.'' | ||
|[[The Heartbroke Kid]] | |[[The Heartbroke Kid]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|353 | |353 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 8, 2005 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[A Star Is Torn]] | |[[A Star Is Torn]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
|354 | |354 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 8, 2005 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Thank God It's Doomsday]] | |[[Thank God It's Doomsday]] | ||
Line 1,932: | Line 1,932: | ||
|355 | |355 | ||
|May 15, 2005 | |May 15, 2005 | ||
− | |A [http: | + | |A [http://index.php?title=Booger&action=edit&redlink=1 booger] is not a bookmark |
|[[Home Away from Homer]] | |[[Home Away from Homer]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
Line 1,965: | Line 1,965: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|360 | |360 | ||
− | |November | + | |November 6, 2005 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Treehouse of Horror XVI]] | |[[Treehouse of Horror XVI]] | ||
Line 1,995: | Line 1,995: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|366 | |366 | ||
− | |January | + | |January 8, 2006 |
− | |I am not smarter than the [http: | + | |I am not smarter than the [http://index.php?title=George_W._Bush&action=edit&redlink=1 President] |
|[[Homer's Paternity Coot]] | |[[Homer's Paternity Coot]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
Line 2,021: | Line 2,021: | ||
|371 | |371 | ||
|March 26, 2006 | |March 26, 2006 | ||
− | |I will not laminate dog doo ''(The first airing of this episode included a special [http: | + | |I will not laminate dog doo ''(The first airing of this episode included a special [http://index.php?title=Live-action&action=edit&redlink=1 live action] opening with'' 'I will not eat things for money' ''as the gag.)'' |
|[[Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife]] | |[[Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|372 | |372 | ||
− | |April | + | |April 2, 2006 |
− | |I will not flip the [http: | + | |I will not flip the [http://index.php?title=Classroom&action=edit&redlink=1 classroom] upside down ''(The classroom is flipped upside down.)'' |
|[[Million Dollar Abie]] | |[[Million Dollar Abie]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
|373 | |373 | ||
− | |April | + | |April 9, 2006 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Kiss Kiss, Bang Bangalore]] | |[[Kiss Kiss, Bang Bangalore]] | ||
Line 2,045: | Line 2,045: | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
|376 | |376 | ||
− | |May | + | |May 7, 2006 |
|I will not leak the plot of [[The Simpsons Movie|the movie]] | |I will not leak the plot of [[The Simpsons Movie|the movie]] | ||
|[[Regarding Margie]] | |[[Regarding Margie]] | ||
Line 2,051: | Line 2,051: | ||
|377 | |377 | ||
|May 14, 2006 | |May 14, 2006 | ||
− | |Je ne parle pas français ''("I do not speak [http: | + | |Je ne parle pas français ''("I do not speak [http://index.php?title=French_language&action=edit&redlink=1 French].") '' |
|[[The Monkey Suit]] | |[[The Monkey Suit]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
Line 2,111: | Line 2,111: | ||
|387 | |387 | ||
|December 17, 2006 | |December 17, 2006 | ||
− | |[http: | + | |[http://index.php?title=Frankincense&action=edit&redlink=1 Frankincense] is not [http://index.php?title=Frankenstein%27s_monster&action=edit&redlink=1 a monster] |
|"[[:Kill Gil: Vols. 1 & 2]]" | |"[[:Kill Gil: Vols. 1 & 2]]" | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
Line 2,146: | Line 2,146: | ||
|394 | |394 | ||
|March 25, 2007 | |March 25, 2007 | ||
− | |[http: | + | |[http://index.php?title=Global_Warming&action=edit&redlink=1 Global Warming] did not eat my homework |
|"[[Homerazzi]]" | |"[[Homerazzi]]" | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color:#FFF4A7" | ||
Line 2,176: | Line 2,176: | ||
|400 | |400 | ||
|May 20, 2007 | |May 20, 2007 | ||
− | |''no gag''''(normal opening sequence replaced with a black screen that says "20 years ago", followed by a full showing of the [http: | + | |''no gag''''(normal opening sequence replaced with a black screen that says "20 years ago", followed by a full showing of the [http://index.php?title=Tracy_Ullman_Show&action=edit&redlink=1 Tracy Ullman Show] Simpsons short "Family Portrait")''''' |
|"[[You Kent Always Say What You Want]]" | |"[[You Kent Always Say What You Want]]" | ||
|} | |} | ||
Line 2,196: | Line 2,196: | ||
|402 | |402 | ||
|September 30, 2007 | |September 30, 2007 | ||
− | |[http: | + | |[http://index.php?title=The_Wall_Street_Journal&action=edit&redlink=1 The Wall Street Journal] is better than ever |
|"[[The Homer of Seville]]" | |"[[The Homer of Seville]]" | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color: #FFF4A7" | ||
Line 2,206: | Line 2,206: | ||
|404 | |404 | ||
|October 14, 2007 | |October 14, 2007 | ||
− | |I am not a [http: | + | |I am not a [http://index.php?title=Federal_Deposit_Insurance_Corporation&action=edit&redlink=1 FDIC]-insured bank. |
|"[[I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings]]" | |"[[I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings]]" | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color: #FFF4A7" | ||
Line 2,216: | Line 2,216: | ||
|406 | |406 | ||
|November 11, 2007 | |November 11, 2007 | ||
− | |There is no such thing as an [http: | + | |There is no such thing as an [http://index.php?title=IPod&action=edit&redlink=1 iPoddy]''(NOTE: This episode has some added laughing from Bart while he runs out of the classroom.)'' |
|"[[Little Orphan Millie]]" | |"[[Little Orphan Millie]]" | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFF4A7" | |-style="background-color: #FFF4A7" | ||
|407 | |407 | ||
|November 18, 2007 | |November 18, 2007 | ||
− | |The [http: | + | |The [http://index.php?title=Pilgrim&action=edit&redlink=1 Pilgrims] were not [http://index.php?title=Illegal_alien&action=edit&redlink=1 illegal aliens] |
|"[[Husbands and Knives]]" | |"[[Husbands and Knives]]" | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
Line 2,231: | Line 2,231: | ||
|409 | |409 | ||
|December 16, 2007 | |December 16, 2007 | ||
− | |The capital of [http: | + | |The capital of [http://index.php?title=Montana&action=edit&redlink=1 Montana] is not "[http://index.php?title=Hannah_Montana&action=edit&redlink=1 Hannah]" |
|"[[Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind]]" | |"[[Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind]]" | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
Line 2,344: | Line 2,344: | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|430 | |430 | ||
− | | | + | |February 15, 2009 |
| | | | ||
HDTV is Worth Every Cent (The episode was the first one in HD) | HDTV is Worth Every Cent (The episode was the first one in HD) |
Revision as of 21:23, December 23, 2010
The following is a list of chalkboard gags seen on The Simpsons.
Contents
Season 1
# | Airdate | Picture | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | December 17, 1989 | no gag | Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire | |
2 | January 14, 1990 | 200px | I will not waste chalk | Bart the Genius |
3 | January 21, 1990 | 200px | I will not skateboard in the halls | Homer's Odyssey |
4 | January 28, 1990 | 200px | I will not burp in class | There's No Disgrace Like Home |
5 | February 4, 1990 | no gag - shortened opening due to time | Bart the General | |
6 | February 11, 1990 | 200px | I will not instigate revolution | Moaning Lisa |
7 | February 18, 1990 | I will not draw naked ladies in class | Call of the Simpsons | |
8 | February 25, 1990 | I did not see Elvis | The Telltale Head | |
9 | March 18, 1990 | no gag - shortened opening due to time | Life on the Fast Lane | |
10 | March 25, 1990 | I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" | Homer's Night Out | |
11 | April 15, 1990 | Garlic gum is not funny | The Crepes of Wrath | |
12 | April 29, 1990 | 200px | They are laughing at me, not with me | Krusty Gets Busted |
13 | May 13, 1990 | 200px | I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom | Some Enchanted Evening |
Season 2
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
14 | October 11, 1990 | I will not encourage others to fly (And during the episode: I will not fake my way through life) | Bart Gets an F |
15 | October 18, 1990 | Tar is not a plaything | Simpson and Delilah |
16 | October 25, 1990 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror |
17 | November 1, 1990 | I will not Xerox my butt (Alternate chalkboard gag aired on June 2, 1992 rerun - "It's 'potato', not 'potatoe'") | Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish |
18 | November 8, 1990 | I will not trade pants with others | Dancin' Homer |
19 | November 15, 1990 | I am not a 32 year old woman (at the time, the voice of Bart, Nancy Cartwright, was) | Dead Putting Society |
20 | November 22, 1990 | I will not do that thing with my tongue | Bart vs. Thanksgiving |
21 | December 6, 1990 | I will not drive the principal's car (similar chalkboard gag in The Months, with the principal being replaced by December) | Bart the Daredevil |
22 | December 20, 1990 | I will not pledge allegiance to Bart | Itchy & Scratchy & Marge |
23 | January 10, 1991 | I will not sell school property | Bart Gets Hit by a Car |
24 | January 24, 1991 | I will not cut corners (This is written for 3 lines. The remaining lines are all "ditto" quotation marks.) | One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish |
25 | January 31, 1991 | I will not get very far with this attitude | The Way We Was |
26 | February 7, 1991 | I will not make flatulent noises in class | Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment |
27 | February 14, 1991 | I will not belch the national anthem | Principal Charming |
28 | February 21, 1991 | I will not sell land in Florida | Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? |
29 | March 7, 1991 | I will not sell school property | Bart's Dog Gets an F |
30 | March 28, 1991 | I will not grease the monkey bars | Old Money |
31 | April 11, 1991 | I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment | Brush with Greatness |
32 | April 25, 1991 | no gag | Lisa's Substitute |
33 | May 2, 1991 | I will not do anything bad ever again | The War of the Simpsons |
34 | May 9, 1991 | I will not show off (This was written in Blackletter.) | Three Men and a Comic Book |
35 | July 11, 1991 | I will not sleep through my education | Blood Feud |
Season 3
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
36 | September 19, 1991 | I am not a dentist | Stark Raving Dad |
37 | September 26, 1991 | Spitwads are not free speech | Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington |
38 | October 3, 1991 | Nobody likes sunburn slappers | When Flanders Failed |
39 | October 10, 1991 | High explosives and school don't mix (And during the episode: I will not bribe Principal Skinner) | Bart the Murderer |
40 | October 17, 1991 | I will not squeak chalk(Bart makes the chalk squeak as he writes this.) | Homer Defined |
41 | October 24, 1991 | I will finish what I sta (written only once) | Like Father, Like Clown |
42 | October 31, 1991 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror II |
43 | November 7, 1991 | "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender | Lisa's Pony |
44 | November 14, 1991 | I will not fake rabies | Saturdays of Thunder |
45 | November 21, 1991 | Underwear should be worn on the inside | Flaming Moe's |
46 | December 5, 1991 | The Christmas Pageant does not stink | Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk |
47 | December 26, 1991 | I will not torment the emotionally frail | I Married Marge |
48 | January 9, 1992 | I will not carve gods | Radio Bart |
49 | January 23, 1992 | no gag | Lisa the Greek |
50 | February 6, 1992 | I will not spank others | Homer Alone |
51 | February 13, 1992 | no gag | Bart the Lover |
52 | February 20, 1992 | I will not aim for the head(In this episode, a major character was hit in the head by a pitch during a baseball game.) | Homer at the Bat |
53 | February 27, 1992 | I will not barf unless I'm sick (And during the episode: I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty) | Separate Vocations |
54 | March 12, 1992 | I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge | Dog of Death |
55 | March 26, 1992 | I will not conduct my own fire drills | Colonel Homer |
56 | April 9, 1992 | Funny noises are not funny | Black Widower |
57 | April 23, 1992 | I will not spin the turtle | The Otto Show |
58 | May 7, 1992 | I will not snap bras | Bart's Friend Falls in Love |
59 | August 27, 1992 | I will not fake seizures | Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes? |
Season 4
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
60 | September 24, 1992 | This punishment is not boring and pointless | Kamp Krusty |
61 | October 1, 1992 | My name is not "Dr. Death" | A Streetcar Named Marge |
62 | October 8, 1992 | I will not defame New Orleans(This was due to complaints regarding the previous episode's song about New Orleans.) | Homer the Heretic |
63 | October 15, 1992 | I will not prescribe medication | Lisa the Beauty Queen |
64 | October 29, 1992 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror III |
65 | November 3, 1992 | I will not bury the new kid (During the episode, Marge writes "I will try to raise a better child.") | Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie |
66 | November 5, 1992 | I will not teach others to fly | Marge Gets a Job |
67 | November 12, 1992 | I will not bring sheep to class | New Kid on the Block |
68 | November 19, 1992 | A burp is not an answer | Mr. Plow |
69 | December 3, 1992 | Teacher is not a leper | Lisa's First Word |
70 | December 17, 1992 | Coffee is not for kids (Each line becomes less legible and more scrawled.) | Homer's Triple Bypass |
71 | January 14, 1993 | I will not eat things for money | Marge vs. the Monorail |
72 | January 21, 1993 | I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call | Selma's Choice |
73 | February 4, 1993 | The principal's toupée is not a frisbee | Brother from the Same Planet |
74 | February 11, 1993 | I will not call the principal "spud head" | I Love Lisa |
75 | February 18, 1993 | Goldfish don't bounce | Duffless |
76 | March 11, 1993 | Mud is not one of the 4 food groups | Last Exit to Springfield |
77 | April 1, 1993 | No one is interested in my underpants | So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show |
78 | April 15, 1993 | I will not sell miracle cures | The Front |
79 | April 29, 1993 | I will return the seeing-eye dog | Whacking Day |
80 | May 6, 1993 | I do not have diplomatic immunity | Marge in Chains |
81 | May 13, 1993 | I will not charge admission to the bathroom | Krusty Gets Kancelled |
Season 5
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
82 | September 30, 1993 | I will never win an Emmy (Nine Emmy awards had been won by the show and cast by show's date) | Homer's Barbershop Quartet |
83 | October 7, 1993 | The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy | Cape Feare |
84 | October 14, 1993 | no gag | Homer Goes to College |
85 | October 21, 1993 | no gag | Rosebud |
86 | October 28, 1993 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror IV |
87 | November 4, 1993 | no gag | Marge on the Lam |
88 | November 11, 1993 | no gag | Bart's Inner Child |
89 | November 18, 1993 | no gag | Boy-Scoutz N the Hood |
90 | December 9, 1993 | All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy | The Last Temptation of Homer |
91 | December 16, 1993 | I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause | $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling) |
92 | January 6, 1994 | I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers | Homer the Vigilante |
93 | February 3, 1994 | My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man | Bart Gets Famous |
94 | February 10, 1994 | I will not go near the kindergarten turtle | Homer and Apu |
95 | February 17, 1994 | no gag | Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy |
96 | February 24, 1994 | no gag | Deep Space Homer |
97 | March 17, 1994 | I am not delightfully saucy | Homer Loves Flanders |
98 | March 31, 1994 | Organ transplants are best left to the professionals | Bart Gets an Elephant |
99 | April 14, 1994 | The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan" | Burns' Heir |
100 | April 28, 1994 | I will not celebrate meaningless milestones(100th episode) | Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song |
101 | May 5, 1994 | There are plenty of businesses like show business | The Boy Who Knew Too Much |
102 | May 12, 1994 | I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball | Lady Bouvier's Lover |
103 | May 19, 1994 | Five days is not too long to wait for a gun | Secrets of a Successful Marriage |
Season 6
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
104 | September 4, 1994 | Beans are neither a fruit nor musical (This takes us back to "Whacking Day") | Bart of Darkness |
105 | September 11, 1994 | No one is interested in my underpants (same as episode 77) | Lisa's Rival |
106 | September 25, 1994 | I will not use abbrev. | Another Simpsons Clip Show |
107 | October 2, 1994 | I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr. | Itchy & Scratchy Land |
108 | October 9, 1994 | no gag | Sideshow Bob Roberts |
109 | October 30, 1994 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror V |
110 | November 6, 1994 | I will not send lard through the mail | Bart's Girlfriend |
111 | November 13, 1994 | I will not dissect things unless instructed | Lisa on Ice |
112 | November 27, 1994 | I will not whittle hall passes out of soap | Homer Badman |
113 | December 4, 1994 | My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man(recycled from 1F11) | Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy |
114 | December 18, 1994 | Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough | Fear of Flying |
115 | January 8, 1995 | Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal | Homer the Great |
116 | January 22, 1995 | 'Bagman' is not a legitimate career choice | And Maggie Makes Three |
117 | February 5, 1995 | Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does | Bart's Comet |
118 | February 12, 1995 | Next time it could be me on the scaffolding | Homie the Clown |
119 | February 19, 1995 | I will not hang donuts on my person | Bart vs. Australia |
120 | February 26, 1995 | I will remember to take my medication | Homer vs. Patty & Selma |
121 | March 5, 1995 | no gag | A Star Is Burns |
122 | March 19, 1995 | I will not strut around like I own the place | Lisa's Wedding |
123 | April 9, 1995 | The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far | Two Dozen and One Greyhounds |
124 | April 16, 1995 | I do not have power of attorney over first graders | The PTA Disbands |
125 | April 30, 1995 | Nerve gas is not a toy | 'Round Springfield |
126 | May 7, 1995 | I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface | The Springfield Connection |
127 | May 14, 1995 | The First Amendment does not cover burping | Lemon of Troy |
128 | May 21, 1995 | This is not a clue... or is it? (part 1 of "Who Shot Mr. Burns?") | Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One) |
Season 7
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
129 | September 17, 1995 | I will not complain about the solution when I hear it (part 2 of "Who Shot Mr. Burns?") | Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two) |
130 | September 24, 1995 | "Bewitched" does not promote Satanism | Radioactive Man |
131 | October 1, 1995 | No one wants to hear from my armpits | Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily |
132 | October 8, 1995 | I am not a lean mean spitting machine | Bart Sells His Soul |
133 | October 15, 1995 | The boys' room is not a water park | Lisa the Vegetarian |
134 | October 29, 1995 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror VI |
135 | November 5, 1995 | Indian burns are not our cultural heritage | King-Size Homer |
136 | November 19, 1995 | no gag | Mother Simpson |
137 | November 26, 1995 | Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things | Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming |
138 | December 3, 1995 | I will only do this once a year ("The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular," a clip show) | The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular |
139 | December 17, 1995 | I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist | Marge Be Not Proud |
140 | January 7, 1996 | I am not certified to remove asbestos | Team Homer |
141 | January 14, 1996 | no gag | Two Bad Neighbors |
142 | February 4, 1996 | no gag | Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield |
143 | February 11, 1996 | no gag | Bart the Fink |
144 | February 18, 1996 | no gag | Lisa the Iconoclast |
145 | February 25, 1996 | no gag | Homer the Smithers |
146 | March 17, 1996 | no gag | The Day the Violence Died |
147 | March 24, 1996 | no gag | A Fish Called Selma |
148 | March 31, 1996 | no gag | Bart on the Road |
149 | April 14, 1996 | no gag | 22 Short Films About Springfield |
150 | April 28, 1996 | no gag | Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish" |
151 | May 5, 1996 | no gag | Much Apu About Nothing |
152 | May 19, 1996 | no gag | Homerpalooza |
153 | May 19, 1996 | no gag | Summer of 4 Ft. 2 |
Season 8
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
154 | October 27, 1996 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror VII |
155 | November 3, 1996 | I did not learn everything I need to know from kindergarten | You Only Move Twice |
156 | November 10, 1996 | I am not my long-lost twin | The Homer They Fall |
157 | November 17, 1996 | no gag | Burns, Baby Burns |
158 | November 24, 1996 | no gag | Bart After Dark |
159 | December 1, 1996 | no gag | A Milhouse Divided |
160 | December 15, 1996 | no gag (But during the episode, Lisa writes "I will not be a snickerpuss.") | Lisa's Date with Density |
161 | December 29, 1996 | no gag | Hurricane Neddy |
162 | January 5, 1997 | no gag | El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer) |
163 | January 12, 1997 | The truth is not out there("The Springfield Files," an X-Files parody episode) | The Springfield Files |
164 | January 19, 1997 | I am not licensed to do anything (referencing a James Bond movie) | The Twisted World of Marge Simpson |
165 | February 2, 1997 | no gag | Mountain of Madness |
166 | February 7, 1997 | I will not hide the teacher's Prozac | Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious |
167 | February 9, 1997 | no gag | The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show |
168 | February 16, 1997 | no gag | Homer's Phobia |
169 | February 23, 1997 | no gag | Brother from Another Series |
170 | March 2, 1997 | no gag | My Sister, My Sitter |
171 | March 16, 1997 | no gag | Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment |
172 | April 6, 1997 | no gag | Grade School Confidential |
173 | April 13, 1997 | A fire drill does not demand a fire | The Canine Mutiny |
174 | April 20, 1997 | no gag | The Old Man and the Lisa |
175 | April 27, 1997 | no gag | In Marge We Trust |
176 | May 4, 1997 | no gag | Homer's Enemy |
177 | May 11, 1997 | no gag | The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase |
178 | May 18, 1997 | no gag | The Secret War of Lisa Simpson |
Season 9
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
179 | September 21, 1997 | no gag | The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson |
180 | September 28, 1997 | no gag | The Principal and the Pauper |
181 | October 19, 1997 | I no longer want my MTV(reference to the lyrics of the Dire Straits song Money for Nothing (song), and a possible jab at MTV's declining quality due to lack of music videos and music-related programming) | Lisa's Sax |
182 | October 26, 1997 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror VIII |
183 | November 2, 1997 | Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story. | The Cartridge Family |
184 | November 9, 1997 | I did not invent Irish dancing. | Bart Star |
185 | November 16, 1997 | no gag | The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons |
186 | November 23, 1997 | I will not tease Fatty. | Lisa the Skeptic |
187 | December 7, 1997 | There was no Roman god named "Fartacus" | Realty Bites |
188 | December 21, 1997 | Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer's red nose is not alcohol-related | Miracle on Evergreen Terrace |
189 | January 4, 1998 | no gag | All Singing, All Dancing |
190 | January 11, 1998 | no gag | Bart Carny |
191 | February 8, 1998 | Shooting paintballs is not an art form | The Joy of Sect |
192 | February 15, 1998 | no gag | Das Bus |
193 | February 22, 1998 | Pain is not the cleanser (Surprisingly, Ned Flanders shouted "Pain is the cleanser!" as he yanked his moustache in the episode Home Away from Homer.) | The Last Temptation of Krust |
194 | March 1, 1998 | Silly string is not a nasal spray. | Dumbbell Indemnity |
195 | March 8, 1998 | no gag | Lisa the Simpson |
196 | March 22, 1998 | I was told not to do this | This Little Wiggy |
197 | March 29, 1998 | My butt does not deserve a website. | Simpson Tide |
198 | April 5, 1998 | I will not demand what I'm worth (This is a reference to the voice cast's recent demands for higher pay.) | The Trouble With Trillions |
199 | April 19, 1998 | no gag | Girly Edition |
200 | April 26, 1998 | I will not mess with the opening credits(This was actually the couch gag for this episode; the rest of the family runs into the classroom to find Bart already there writing on the board.) | Trash of the Titans |
201 | May 3, 1998 | no gag | King of the Hill |
202 | May 10, 1998 | I am not the new Dalai Lama. | Lost Our Lisa |
203 | May 17, 1998 | I was not the inspiration for "Kramer" (This episode aired three days after the last episode of "Seinfeld".) | Natural Born Kissers |
Season 10
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
204 | August 23, 1998 | no gag | Lard of the Dance |
205 | September 20, 1998 | I will not file frivolous lawsuits | The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace |
206 | September 27, 1998 | no gag | Bart the Mother |
207 | October 25, 1998 | The Simpsons Halloween Special IX (This is written in blood with a paintbrush.) | Treehouse of Horror IX |
208 | November 8, 1998 | "butt.com" is not my E-mail address(This was changed to "butt.butt" in later airings since butt.com was revealed to be a real website. Butt.com still appeared in syndication, however.) | When You Dish upon a Star |
209 | November 15, 1998 | No one cares what my definition of "is" is | D'oh-in in the Wind |
210 | November 22, 1998 | I will not scream for ice cream | Lisa Gets an "A" |
211 | December 6, 1998 | I am not a licensed hairstylist | Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble" |
212 | December 20, 1998 | "The President did it" is not an excuse (This aired a day after impeachment proceedings started against Bill Clinton) | Mayored to the Mob |
213 | January 10, 1999 | My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld | Viva Ned Flanders |
214 | January 17, 1999 | Sherri does not "got back" | Wild Barts Can't Be Broken |
215 | January 31, 1999 | I will not do "the dirty bird" (This episode aired the night of Super Bowl XXXIII, in which the Atlanta Falcons, for whom "The Dirty Bird" was a signature dance/celebration, played.) | Sunday, Cruddy Sunday |
216 | February 7, 1999 | No one cares about my sciatica | Homer to the Max |
217 | February 14, 1999 | Hillbillies are people too | I'm with Cupid |
218 | February 21, 1999 | Grammar is not a time of waste | Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers" |
219 | February 28, 1999 | I do not have diplomatic immunity (Taken from 9F20) | Make Room for Lisa |
220 | March 28, 1999 | It does not suck to be you (A reference to a Prozzäk song) | Maximum Homerdrive |
221 | April 4, 1999 | I cannot absolve sins (And during Lisa's dream in the episode: I will not deface using hieroglyphics where possible) | Simpsons Bible Stories |
222 | April 11, 1999 | A trained ape could not teach gym | Mom and Pop Art |
223 | April 25, 1999 | Loose teeth don't need my help | The Old Man and the "C" Student |
224 | May 2, 1999 | I have neither been there nor done that | Monty Can't Buy Me Love |
225 | May 9, 1999 | No one wants to hear from my armpits (This is from 3F01) | They Saved Lisa's Brain |
226 | May 16, 1999 | I'm so very tired (At this point, Bart had been doing these gags for ten seasons.) | Thirty Minutes over Tokyo |
Season 11
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
227 | September 26, 1999 | Fridays are not "pants optional" (In Australia, Hamish and Andy (a comedy duo) have decided that Friday should be Pants off Friday.) | Beyond Blunderdome |
228 | October 3, 1999 | Pork is not a verb(the irony is that "pork" is a verb, albeit a vulgar slang term, meaning "to have sexual intercourse with") | Brother's Little Helper |
229 | October 24, 1999 | I am not the last Don(Possibly a reference to the 1997 TV minseries of the same name, which starred Joe Mantegna, voice of recurring Simpsons character Fat Tony) | Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner? |
230 | October 31, 1999 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror X |
231 | November 7, 1999 | I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize | E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt) |
232 | November 14, 1999 | I won't not use no double negatives(since three negatives are used, the sentence is true) | Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder |
233 | November 21, 1999 | Indian burns are not our cultural heritage (This is from 3F05) | Eight Misbehavin' |
234 | November 28, 1999 | I can't see dead people (This is a reference to The Sixth Sense) | Take My Wife, Sleaze |
235 | December 19, 1999 | I will not sell my kidney on eBay (this is impossible now, since eBay prohibits the sale of organs) | Grift of the Magi |
236 | January 9, 2000 | I will not create art from dung | Little Big Mom |
237 | January 16, 2000 | I will stop phoning it in | Faith Off |
238 | January 23, 2000 | Class clown is not a paid position | The Mansion Family |
239 | February 6, 2000 | Substitute teachers are not scabs | Saddlesore Galactica |
240 | February 13, 2000 | My suspension was not mutual | Alone Again, Natura-Diddily |
241 | February 20, 2000 | A belch is not an oral report | Missionary: Impossible |
242 | February 27, 2000 | Dodgeball stops at the gym door | Pygmoelian |
243 | March 19, 2000 | Non-flammable is not a challenge | Bart to the Future |
244 | April 9, 2000 | I was not touched"there"by an angel | Days of Wine and D'oh'ses |
245 | April 30, 2000 | I am not here on a fartball scholarship | Kill the Alligator and Run |
246 | May 7, 2000 | I will not dance on anyone's grave | Last Tap Dance in Springfield |
247 | May 14, 2000 | I cannot hire a substitute student | It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge |
248 | May 21, 2000 | "I will not obey the voices in my head" | Behind the Laughter |
Season 12
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
249 | November 1, 2000 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror XI |
250 | November 5, 2000 | I will not plant subliminal messagores (aired two days before the 2000 U.S. presidential election) | A Tale of Two Springfields |
251 | November 12, 2000 | I will not surprise the incontinent | Insane Clown Poppy |
252 | November 19, 2000 | I am not the acting president (aired during the legal contest over the results of the 2000 presidential election) | Lisa the Tree Hugger |
253 | November 26, 2000 | I was not the sixth Beatle | Homer vs. Dignity |
254 | December 3, 2000 | I will only provide a urine sample when asked | The Computer Wore Menace Shoes |
255 | December 10, 2000 | The nurse is not dealing | The Great Money Caper |
256 | December 17, 2000 | Science class should not end in tragedy(During the episode, Skinner writes "I ain't not a dorkus") | Skinner's Sense of Snow |
257 | January 7, 2001 | Network TV is not dead | HOMR |
258 | January 14, 2001 | I will not "let the dogs out" (reference a song made popular by the Baha Men) | Pokey Mom |
259 | February 4, 2001 | I will not hide the teacher's medication | Worst Episode Ever |
260 | February 11, 2001 | I will not publish the principal's credit report | Tennis the Menace |
261 | February 18, 2001 | The hamster did not have a "full life" | Day of the Jackanapes |
262 | February 25, 2001 | I will not buy a presidential pardon(This refers to the Bill Clinton pardons controversy, involving 140 pardons he issued on his last day in office.) | New Kids on the Blecch |
263 | March 4, 2001 | "Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap | Hungry, Hungry Homer |
264 | March 11, 2001 | I will not scare the vice president(a reference to VP Cheney's heart condition) | Bye Bye Nerdie |
265 | April 1, 2001 | I will not flush evidence | Simpson Safari |
266 | April 29, 2001 | Fire is not the cleanser | Trilogy of Error |
267 | May 6, 2001 | Genetics is not an excuse | I'm Goin' to Praiseland |
268 | May 13, 2001 | Today is not Mothra's Day (This episode aired on Mother's Day.) | Children of a Lesser Clod |
269 | May 20, 2001 | I should not be twenty-one by now (Referring to the fact that Bart has been the age of ten for over eleven years.) | Simpsons Tall Tales |
Season 13
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
270 | November 6, 2001 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror XII |
271 | November 11, 2001 | Nobody reads these anymore | The Parent Rap |
272 | November 18, 2001 | A burp in a jar is not a science project | Homer the Moe |
273 | December 2, 2001 | Fun does not have a size | A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love |
274 | December 9, 2001 | I am not Charlie Brown on acid (reference to how critics described "South Park") | The Blunder Years |
275 | December 16, 2001 | I do not have a cereal named after me (In fact, he did: "Bart Simpson Peanut Butter Chocolate Crunch". In the UK they released "Bart Simpson's No Problem-os) | She of Little Faith |
276 | January 6, 2002 | no gag | Brawl in the Family |
277 | January 20, 2002 | no gag | Sweets and Sour Marge |
278 | January 27, 2002 | no gag | Jaws Wired Shut |
279 | February 10, 2002 | I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers(A reference to his Butterfinger commercials and how, after a blatant jab two episodes earlier, the ads had been canceled.) | Half-Decent Proposal |
280 | February 17, 2002 | The Giving Tree is not a chump | The Bart Wants What It Wants |
281 | February 24, 2002 | Making Milhouse cry is not a science project | The Lastest Gun in the West |
282 | March 10, 2002 | no gag | The Old Man and the Key |
283 | March 17, 2002 | Vampire is not a career choice | Tales from the Public Domain |
284 | March 31, 2002 | no gag | Blame It on Lisa |
285 | April 7, 2002 | no gag | Weekend at Burnsie's |
286 | April 21, 2002 | no gag | Gump Roast |
287 | April 28, 2002 | no gag | I Am Furious Yellow |
288 | May 5, 2002 | I will never lie about being cancelled again (a reference to Matt Groening spreading a rumor that The Simpsons was going to end its run after this season) | The Sweetest Apu |
289 | May 12, 2002 | no gag | Little Girl in the Big Ten |
290 | May 19, 2002 | no gag | The Frying Game |
291 | May 22, 2002 | no gag | Papa's Got a Brand New Badge |
Season 14
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
292 | November 3, 2002 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror XIII |
293 | November 10, 2002 | no gag | How I Spent My Strummer Vacation |
294 | November 17, 2002 | Fish do not like coffee | Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade |
295 | November 24, 2002 | no gag | Large Marge |
296 | December 1, 2002 | Milhouse did not test cootie positive | Helter Shelter |
297 | December 15, 2002 | no gag | The Great Louse Detective |
298 | January 5, 2003 | no gag | Special Edna |
299 | January 12, 2003 | no gag | The Dad Who Knew Too Little |
300 | February 2, 2003 | This school does not need a "regime change" (reference to the then-upcoming War In Iraq) | Strong Arms of the Ma |
301 | February 9, 2003 | SpongeBob is not a contraceptive | Pray Anything |
302 | February 16, 2003 | I will not (Bart then destroys the chalkboard with an axe and runs out the school laughing.) | Barting Over |
303 | February 16, 2003 | no gag | I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can |
304 | March 2, 2003 | no gag | A Star Is Born-Again |
305 | March 9, 2003 | no gag | Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington |
306 | March 16, 2003 | no gag | C.E. D'oh |
307 | March 30, 2003 | no gag | 'Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky |
308 | April 13, 2003 | no gag | Three Gays of the Condo |
309 | April 27, 2003 | no gag | Dude, Where's My Ranch? |
310 | May 4, 2003 | My pen is not a booger launcher | Old Yeller Belly |
311 | May 11, 2003 | no gag | Brake My Wife, Please |
312 | May 18, 2003 | Sandwiches should not contain sand | Bart of War |
313 | May 18, 2003 | no gag | Moe Baby Blues |
Season 15
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
314 | November 2, 2003 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror XIV |
315 | November 9, 2003 | no gag | My Mother the Carjacker |
316 | November 16, 2003 | no gag | The President Wore Pearls |
317 | November 23, 2003 | no gag | The Regina Monologues |
318 | November 30, 2003 | no gag | The Fat and the Furriest |
319 | December 7, 2003 | Over forty & single is not funny | Today I Am a Clown |
320 | December 14, 2003 | no gag | 'Tis the Fifteenth Season |
321 | January 4, 2004 | no gag | Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays |
322 | January 11, 2004 | no gag | I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot |
323 | January 25, 2004 | no gag | Diatribe of a Mad Housewife |
324 | February 8, 2004 | no gag | Margical History Tour |
325 | February 15, 2004 | no gag | Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore |
326 | February 22, 2004 | no gag | Smart and Smarter |
327 | March 14, 2004 | I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be | The Ziff Who Came to Dinner |
328 | March 21, 2004 | no gag | Co-Dependent's Day |
329 | March 28, 2004 | no gag | The Wandering Juvie |
330 | April 18, 2004 | no gag | My Big Fat Geek Wedding |
331 | April 25, 2004 | no gag | Catch 'Em if You Can |
332 | May 2, 2004 | no gag | Simple Simpson |
333 | May 9, 2004 | no gag | The Way We Weren't |
334 | May 16, 2004 | no gag | Bart-Mangled Banner |
335 | May 23, 2004 | no gag | Fraudcast News |
Season 16
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
336 | November 7, 2004 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror XV |
337 | November 14, 2004 | no gag | All's Fair in Oven War |
338 | November 21, 2004 | no gag | Sleeping with the Enemy |
339 | December 5, 2004 | Poking a dead raccoon is not research | She Used to Be My Girl |
340 | December 12, 2004 | no gag | Fat Man and Little Boy |
341 | January 16, 2005 | no gag | Midnight Rx |
342 | January 30, 2005 | no gag | Mommie Beerest |
343 | February 6, 2005 | no gag | Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass |
344 | February 13, 2005 | no gag | Pranksta Rap |
345 | February 20, 2005 | no gag | There's Something About Marrying |
346 | March 6, 2005 | Beer in a milk carton is not milk | On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister |
347 | March 13, 2005 | no gag | Goo Goo Gai Pan |
348 | March 20, 2005 | no gag | Mobile Homer |
349 | April 3, 2005 | no gag | The Seven-Beer Snitch |
350 | April 17, 2005 | no gag | Future-Drama |
351 | May 1, 2005 | no gag | Don't Fear the Roofer |
352 | May 1, 2005 | There is no gag in the opening scene. In the middle of the episode, the chalkboard gag is replaced with Bart buying snacks from the vending machine. | The Heartbroke Kid |
353 | May 8, 2005 | no gag | A Star Is Torn |
354 | May 8, 2005 | no gag | Thank God It's Doomsday |
355 | May 15, 2005 | A booger is not a bookmark | Home Away from Homer |
356 | May 15, 2005 | no gag | The Father, The Son & The Holy Guest Star |
Season 17
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
357 | September 11, 2005 | Does any kid still do this anymore? (refers to the diminishing frequency of the chalkboard gag, as well as the real-life punishment) | Bonfire of the Manatees |
358 | September 18, 2005 | no gag | The Girl Who Slept Too Little |
359 | September 25, 2005 | no gag | Milhouse of Sand and Fog |
360 | November 6, 2005 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror XVI |
361 | November 13, 2005 | no gag | Marge's Son Poisoning |
362 | November 20, 2005 | no gag | See Homer Run |
363 | November 27, 2005 | no gag | The Last of the Red Hat Mamas |
364 | December 11, 2005 | no gag | The Italian Bob |
365 | December 18, 2005 | no gag | Simpsons Christmas Stories |
366 | January 8, 2006 | I am not smarter than the President | Homer's Paternity Coot |
367 | January 29, 2006 | Teacher was not dumped—it was mutual | We're on the Road to D'ohwhere |
368 | February 26, 2006 | no gag | My Fair Laddy |
369 | March 12, 2006 | no gag | The Seemingly Never-Ending Story |
370 | March 19, 2006 | no gag | Bart Has Two Mommies |
371 | March 26, 2006 | I will not laminate dog doo (The first airing of this episode included a special live action opening with 'I will not eat things for money' as the gag.) | Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife |
372 | April 2, 2006 | I will not flip the classroom upside down (The classroom is flipped upside down.) | Million Dollar Abie |
373 | April 9, 2006 | no gag | Kiss Kiss, Bang Bangalore |
374 | April 23, 2006 | no gag | The Wettest Stories Ever Told |
375 | April 30, 2006 | no gag | Girls Just Want to Have Sums |
376 | May 7, 2006 | I will not leak the plot of the movie | Regarding Margie |
377 | May 14, 2006 | Je ne parle pas français ("I do not speak French.") | The Monkey Suit |
378 | May 21, 2006 | Have a great summer, everyone (last episode of the season) | Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play |
Season 18
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
379 | September 10, 2006 | no gag | "The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer" |
380 | September 17, 2006 | no gag | "Jazzy and the Pussycats" |
381 | September 24, 2006 | no gag'(But during the episode, Skinner writes "A baby beat me up" when Bart begins torturing Skinner by taking advantage of his peanut allergy) | "Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em" |
382 | November 5, 2006 | no gag | "Treehouse of Horror XVII" |
383 | November 12, 2006 | We are not all naked under our clothes | "G.I. D'oh" |
384 | November 19, 2006 | no gag | "Moe'N'a Lisa" |
385 | November 26, 2006 | no gag | "Ice Cream of Margie (With the Light Blue Hair)" |
386 | December 10, 2006 | no gag | "The Haw-Hawed Couple" |
387 | December 17, 2006 | Frankincense is not a monster | "Kill Gil: Vols. 1 & 2" |
388 | January 7, 2007 | no gag | "The Wife Aquatic" |
389 | January 28, 2007 | no gag | "Revenge is a Dish Best Served Three Times" |
390 | February 11, 2007 | no gag'(But during the episode, Bart writes "So long suckers") | "Little Big Girl" |
391 | February 18, 2007 | no gag | "Springfield Up" |
392 | March 4, 2007 | no gag | "Yokel Chords" |
393 | March 11, 2007 | no gag | "Rome-old and Juli-eh" |
394 | March 25, 2007 | Global Warming did not eat my homework | "Homerazzi" |
395 | April 22, 2007 | no gag | "Marge Gamer" |
396 | April 29, 2007 | no gag | "The Boys of Bummer" |
397 | May 6, 2007 | I will not look up how much teacher makes | "Crook and Ladder" |
398 | May 13, 2007 | Pearls are not oyster barf | "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot" |
399 | May 20, 2007 | no gag'(special 24-style opening) | "24 Minutes" |
400 | May 20, 2007 | no gag'(normal opening sequence replaced with a black screen that says "20 years ago", followed by a full showing of the Tracy Ullman Show Simpsons short "Family Portrait") | "You Kent Always Say What You Want" |
Season 19
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
401 | September 23, 2007 | I will not wait 20 years to make another movie | "He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs" |
402 | September 30, 2007 | The Wall Street Journal is better than ever | "The Homer of Seville" |
403 | October 7, 2007 | no gag | "Midnight Towboy" |
404 | October 14, 2007 | I am not a FDIC-insured bank. | "I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" |
405 | November 4, 2007 | no gag | "Treehouse of Horror XVIII" |
406 | November 11, 2007 | There is no such thing as an iPoddy(NOTE: This episode has some added laughing from Bart while he runs out of the classroom.) | "Little Orphan Millie" |
407 | November 18, 2007 | The Pilgrims were not illegal aliens | "Husbands and Knives" |
408 | November 25, 2007 | no gag | "Funeral for a Fiend" |
409 | December 16, 2007 | The capital of Montana is not "Hannah" | "Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind" |
410 | January 6, 2008 | Teacher did not pay too much for her condo | "E Pluribus Wiggum" |
411 | January 27, 2008 | no gag | "That 90's Show" |
412 | February 17, 2008 | no gag | "Love, Springfieldian Style" |
413 | March 2, 2008 | The art teacher is fat, not pregnant | "The Debarted" |
414 | March 9, 2008 | no gag | "Dial 'N' for Nerder" |
415 | March 30, 2008 | no gag | "Smoke On The Daughter" |
416 | April 13, 2008 | no gag | "Papa Don't Leech" |
417 | April 27, 2008 | A persons a person, no mater how Ralph. | "Apocalypse Cow" |
418 | May 4, 2008 | no gag | "Any Given Sundance" |
419 | May 11, 2008 | This punishment is not medivial. (in medivial writing style.) | "Mona Leaves-a" |
420 | MAy 18, 2008 | no gag | "All About Lisa" |
Season 20
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
421 | September 28, 2008 | no gag | "Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes" |
422 | October 5, 2008 | Teachers diet is working. | "Lost Verizon" |
423 | October 19, 2008 | There is no such month as Rocktober | "Double, Double, Boy in Trouble" |
424 | November 2, 2008 | None | "Treehouse of Horror XIX" |
425 | November 9, 2008 | I did not see Teacher siphoning gas. | "Dangerous Curves" |
426 | November 16, 2008 | No gag | "Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words" |
427 | November 30, 2008 | Prosperity is just around the corner. | "Mypods and Boomsticks" |
428 | December 7, 2008 | Jesus is not mad His birthday is on Christmas | "The Burns and the Bees" |
429 | January 25, 2009 | I Will Not use Permanet ink on the Chalkboard | "Lisa The Drama Queen" |
430 | February 15, 2009 |
HDTV is Worth Every Cent (The episode was the first one in HD) |
"Take My Life, Please" |
431 | March 1, 2009 | "March Madness" is Not an Excuse for Missing School | "How the Test Was Won" |
432 | March 8, 2009 | "I will not have fun with educational toys." | "No Loan Again, Naturally |
433 | MArch 15, 2009 | No gag | "Gone Maggie Gone" |
434 | March 22, 2009 | "Four leaf clovers are not mutant freaks." | "In the Name of the Grandfather" |
435 | March 29, 2009 | "My piggy bank is not entitled to TARP funds." | "Wedding for Disaster" |
436 | April 5, 2009 | No gag | "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe" |
437 | April 19, 2009 | "I will not mock teacher's outdated cell phone." | "The Good, the Sad and the Drugly" |
438 | April 26, 2009 | "I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy." | "Father Knows Worst" |
439 | May 3, 2009 | No gag | "Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh" |
440 | May 10, 2009 | No gag | "Four Great Women and a Manicure" |
441 | May 17, 2009 | "It's 'Facebook,' not 'Assbook.'" | "Coming to Homerica" |
Season 21
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
442 | September 27, 2009 | "The class hamster isn't just sleeping." | "Homer the Whopper" |
443 | October 4, 2009 | "Chalkboarding is not torture." | "Bart Gets a 'Z'" |
444 | October 11, 2009 | "I am not allergic to long division." | "The Great Wife Hope" |
445 | October 18, 2009 | None | "Treehouse of Horror XX" |
446 | November 15, 2009 | "I do not have the hots for my mom." | "The Devil Wears Nada" |
447 | November 22, 2009 | "Halloween doesn't kick Thanksgiving's ass." | "Pranks and Greens" |
448 | November 29, 2009 | "Teachers' unions are not ruining this country." | "Rednecks and Broomsticks" |
449 | December 13, 2009 | No gag | "O Brother, Where Bart Thou?" |
450 | January 3, 2010 | No gag | "Thursdays with Abie" |
451 | January 10, 2010 | "The world may end in 2012, but this show won't." | "Once Upon a Time in Springfield" |
452 | January 31, 2010 | no gag | "Million Dollar Maybe" |
453 | February 14, 2010 | no gag | "Boy Meets Curl" |
454 | February 21, 2010 | No gag | "The Color Yellow" |
455 | March 14, 2010 | No gag | "Postcards from the Wedge" |
456 | March 21, 2010 | "WWII could not beat up WWI" | "Stealing First Base" |
457 | March 28, 2010 | no gag | "The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed" |
458 | April 11, 2010 | "Hot dogs are not bookmarks." | "American History X-cellent" |
459 | April 18, 2010 | "This counts as gym and art class" | "Chief of Hearts" |
460 | April 25, 2010 | "South Park, We'd Stand Beside You If We Weren't So Scared" (The South Park Creators had death threats) | "The Squirt and the Whale" |
461 | May 2, 2010 | No Gag | |
462 | May 9, 2010 | "Eating my vegetables IS NOT a Mother's Day present". | "Moe Letter Blues" |
463 | May 16, 2010 | "Batman Is Not 'Nothing' Without His Utility Belt" | "The Bob Next Door" |
464 | May 23, 2010 | "End of Lost: It was all the dog's dream. Watch Us." | "Judge Me Tender" |
Season 22
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
465 | September 26, 2010 | "When I slept in class it was not to help Leo DiCaprio." | "Elementary School Musical" |
The Simpsons Movie
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
1 | July 27, 2007 | I will not illegally download this movie | The Simpsons Movie |