Difference between revisions of "List of chalkboard gags"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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|-style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" | |-style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" | ||
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− | | | + | {|class="wikitable" width="100%" |
− | + | !width="22" style="background-color: #FADA00"|# | |
− | | | + | !width="117" style="background-color: #FADA00"|Airdate |
− | + | !style="background-color: #FADA00"|Gag | |
− | | | + | !width="200" style="background-color: #FADA00"|Episode Name |
− | + | |-style="background-color: #FFF4A7" | |
− | + | |442 | |
− | + | |September 27, 2009 | |
− | + | |"The class hamster isn't just sleeping." | |
− | | | + | |"[[Homer the Whopper]]" |
− | + | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |
− | + | |443 | |
− | + | |October 4, 2009 | |
− | + | |"Chalkboarding is not torture." | |
− | | | + | |"[[Bart Gets a "Z"|Bart Gets a 'Z']]" |
− | + | |-style="background-color: #FFF4A7" | |
− | + | |444 | |
− | + | |October 11, 2009 | |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |"I am not allergic to long division." |
− | | | + | |"[[The Great Wife Hope]]" |
− | | | + | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
− | |' | + | |445 |
− | |[[ | + | |October 18, 2009 |
− | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF | + | |None |
− | | | + | |"[[Treehouse of Horror XX]]" |
− | | | + | |-style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
− | | | + | |446 |
− | |[[ | + | |November 15, 2009 |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |"I do not have the hots for my mom." |
− | | | + | |"[[The Devil Wears Nada]]" |
− | | | + | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
− | | | + | |447 |
− | |[[The | + | |November 22, 2009 |
− | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF | + | |"Halloween doesn't kick Thanksgiving's ass." |
− | | | + | |"[[Pranks and Greens]]" |
− | | | + | |-style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
− | | | + | |448 |
− | |[[ | + | |November 29, 2009 |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |"Teachers' unions are not ruining this country." |
− | | | + | |"[[Rednecks and Broomsticks]]" |
− | | | ||
− | |I | ||
− | | | ||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |-style="background-color: # | ||
− | | | ||
− | | | ||
− | | | ||
− | |[[ | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |449 |
− | | | + | |December 13, 2009 |
− | | | + | |''No gag'' |
− | |[[ | + | |"[[O Brother, Where Bart Thou?]]" |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
− | | | + | |450 |
− | | | + | |January 3, 2010 |
+ | |''No gag'' | ||
+ | |"[[Thursdays with Abie]]" | ||
+ | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
+ | |451 | ||
+ | |January 10, 2010 | ||
+ | |"The world may end in 2012, but this show won't." | ||
+ | |"[[Once Upon a Time in Springfield]]" | ||
+ | |-style="background-color: #FFF4A7" | ||
+ | |452 | ||
+ | |January 31, 2010 | ||
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
− | |[[ | + | |"[[Million Dollar Maybe]]" |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |453 |
− | | | + | |February 14, 2010 |
− | | | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |[[ | + | |"[[Boy Meets Curl]]" |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
− | | | + | |454 |
− | | | + | |February 21, 2010 |
− | | | + | |''No gag'' |
− | |[[ | + | |"[[The Color Yellow]]" |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |455 |
− | | | + | |March 14, 2010 |
− | | | + | |''No gag'' |
− | |[[ | + | |"[[Postcards from the Wedge]]" |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #FFF4A7" |
− | | | + | |456 |
− | | | + | |March 21, 2010 |
− | |I will not | + | |"WWII could not beat up WWI" |
− | |[[ | + | |"[[Stealing First Base]]" |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |} |
− | | | + | |February 4, 1990 |
− | | | + | |''no gag - shortened opening due to time'' |
− | |I will not | + | |[[Bart the General]] |
− | |[[ | + | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |457 march 21 2010 the family comes in as dogs a man picks bart homer gets mad and they fight [[the greatist story ever dohd]] |
− | | | + | |February 11, 1990 |
− | | | + | |I will not instigate revolution |
− | |I | + | |[[Moaning Lisa]] |
− | |[[ | + | |-style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
− | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | + | |7 |
− | | | + | |February 18, 1990 |
− | | | + | |I will not draw naked ladies in class |
− | |I will not | + | |[[Call of the Simpsons]] |
− | |[[ | + | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |8 |
− | | | + | |February 25, 1990 |
− | | | + | |I did not see Elvis |
− | | | + | |[[The Telltale Head]] |
− | |[[ | + | |-style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |9 |
− | | | + | |March 18, 1990 |
− | | | + | |''no gag - shortened opening due to time'' |
− | |I will not | + | |[[Life on the Fast Lane]] |
− | |[[The | + | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" |
+ | |10 | ||
+ | |March 25, 1990 | ||
+ | |I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" | ||
+ | |[[Homer's Night Out]] | ||
+ | |-style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" | ||
+ | |11 | ||
+ | |April 15, 1990 | ||
+ | |Garlic gum is not funny | ||
+ | |[[The Crepes of Wrath]] | ||
+ | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF;" | ||
+ | |12 | ||
+ | |April 29, 1990 | ||
+ | |They are laughing at me, not with me | ||
+ | |[[Krusty Gets Busted]] | ||
+ | |-style="background-color: #F2F2F2;" | ||
+ | |13 | ||
+ | |May 13, 1990 | ||
+ | |I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom | ||
+ | |[[Some Enchanted Evening]] | ||
+ | |} | ||
+ | |||
+ | == [[The Simpsons (season 2)|Season 2]] == | ||
+ | |||
+ | {|class="wikitable" width="100%" | ||
+ | !width="22" style="background-color: #C5E4E1"|# | ||
+ | !width="117" style="background-color: #C5E4E1"|Airdate | ||
+ | !style="background-color: #C5E4E1"|Gag | ||
+ | !width="200" style="background-color: #C5E4E1"|Episode Name | ||
|-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" | |-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" | ||
− | | | + | |14 |
− | | | + | |October 11, 1990 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not encourage others to fly ''(And during the episode:'' I will not fake my way through life'')'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Bart Gets an F]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |15 |
− | | | + | |October 18, 1990 |
− | | | + | |Tar is not a plaything |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Simpson and Delilah]] |
|-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" | |-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" | ||
− | | | + | |16 |
− | | | + | |October 25, 1990 |
− | | | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Treehouse of Horror]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |17 |
− | | | + | |November 1, 1990 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not Xerox my butt (''Alternate chalkboard gag aired on June 2, 1992 rerun'' - "It's 'potato', not 'potatoe'") |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish]] |
|-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" | |-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" | ||
− | | | + | |18 |
− | | | + | |November 8, 1990 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not trade pants with others |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Dancin' Homer]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |19 |
− | | | + | |November 15, 1990 |
− | |I | + | |I am not a 32 year old woman ''(though at the time, the voice of Bart, [[Nancy Cartwright]], was) '' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Dead Putting Society]] |
|-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" | |-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" | ||
− | | | + | |20 |
− | | | + | |November 22, 1990 |
− | | | + | |I will not do that thing with my tongue |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Bart vs. Thanksgiving]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |21 |
− | | | + | |December 6, 1990 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not drive the principal's car (similar chalkboard gag in ''The Months'', with the principal being replaced by December) |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Bart the Daredevil]] |
|-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" | |-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" | ||
− | | | + | |22 |
− | | | + | |December 20, 1990 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not pledge allegiance to Bart |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Itchy & Scratchy & Marge]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |23 |
− | | | + | |January 10, 1991 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not sell school property |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Bart Gets Hit by a Car]] |
− | + | |-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" | |
− | + | |24 | |
− | + | |January 24, 1991 | |
− | + | |I will not cut corners ''(This is written for 3 lines. The remaining lines are all "ditto" quotation marks.)'' | |
− | + | |[[One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish]] | |
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | | | ||
− | | | ||
− | |I | ||
− | |[[ | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |25 |
− | | | + | |January 31, 1991 |
− | | | + | |I will not get very far with this attitude |
− | |[[ | + | |[[The Way We Was]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
− | | | + | |26 |
− | | | + | |February 7, 1991 |
− | | | + | |I will not make flatulent noises in class |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |27 |
− | | | + | |February 14, 1991 |
− | | | + | |I will not belch the national anthem |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Principal Charming]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
− | | | + | |28 |
− | | | + | |February 21, 1991 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not sell land in Florida |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |29 |
− | | | + | |March 7, 1991 |
− | |I will | + | |I will not sell school property |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Bart's Dog Gets an F]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
− | | | + | |30 |
− | | | + | |March 28, 1991 |
+ | |I will not grease the monkey bars | ||
+ | |[[Old Money]] | ||
+ | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
+ | |31 | ||
+ | |April 11, 1991 | ||
+ | |I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment | ||
+ | |[[Brush with Greatness]] | ||
+ | |-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" | ||
+ | |32 | ||
+ | |April 25, 1991 | ||
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
− | |[[ | + | |[[Lisa's Substitute]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |33 |
− | | | + | |May 2, 1991 |
− | | | + | |I will not do anything bad ever again |
− | |[[ | + | |[[The War of the Simpsons]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #EFF8F7" |
− | | | + | |34 |
− | | | + | |May 9, 1991 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not show off ''(This was written in Blackletter.)'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Three Men and a Comic Book]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |35 |
− | | | + | |July 11, 1991 |
− | | | + | |I will not sleep through my education |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Blood Feud]] |
+ | |} | ||
+ | |||
+ | == [[The Simpsons (season 3)|Season 3]] == | ||
+ | |||
+ | {|class="wikitable" width="100%" | ||
+ | !width="22" style="background-color: #E2C7DD"|# | ||
+ | !width="117" style="background-color: #E2C7DD"|Airdate | ||
+ | !style="background-color: #E2C7DD"|Gag | ||
+ | !width="200" style="background-color: #E2C7DD"|Episode Name | ||
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
− | | | + | |36 |
− | | | + | |September 19, 1991 |
− | | | + | |I am not a dentist |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Stark Raving Dad]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |37 |
− | | | + | |September 26, 1991 |
− | | | + | |Spitwads are not free speech |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington]] |
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
− | | | + | |38 |
− | | | + | |October 3, 1991 |
− | | | + | |Nobody likes sunburn slappers |
− | |[[ | + | |[[When Flanders Failed]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |39 |
− | | | + | |October 10, 1991 |
− | |'' | + | |High explosives and school don't mix ''(And during the episode:'' I will not bribe Principal Skinner'')'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Bart the Murderer]] |
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
− | | | + | |40 |
− | | | + | |October 17, 1991 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not squeak chalk''(Bart makes the chalk squeak as he writes this.)'' |
− | |[[Homer | + | |[[Homer Defined]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |41 |
− | | | + | |October 24, 1991 |
− | |'' | + | |I will finish what I sta ''(written only once)'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Like Father, Like Clown]] |
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
− | | | + | |42 |
− | | | + | |October 31, 1991 |
− | | | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Treehouse of Horror II]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |43 |
− | | | + | |November 7, 1991 |
− | | | + | |"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Lisa's Pony]] |
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
− | | | + | |44 |
− | | | + | |November 14, 1991 |
− | |I | + | |I will not fake rabies |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Saturdays of Thunder]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |45 |
− | | | + | |November 21, 1991 |
− | | | + | |Underwear should be worn on the inside |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Flaming Moe's]] |
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
− | | | + | |46 |
− | | | + | |December 5, 1991 |
− | | | + | |The Christmas Pageant does not stink |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |47 |
− | | | + | |December 26, 1991 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not torment the emotionally frail |
− | |[[ | + | |[[I Married Marge]] |
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
− | | | + | |48 |
− | | | + | |January 9, 1992 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not carve gods |
− | |[[Bart | + | |[[Radio Bart]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |49 |
− | | | + | |January 23, 1992 |
− | | | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Lisa the Greek]] |
− | + | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |
− | + | |50 | |
− | + | |February 6, 1992 | |
− | + | |I will not spank others | |
− | + | |[[Homer Alone]] | |
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |-style="background-color: # | ||
− | | | ||
− | | | ||
− | | | ||
− | |[[ | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |51 |
− | | | + | |February 13, 1992 |
− | | | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Bart the Lover]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
− | | | + | |52 |
− | | | + | |February 20, 1992 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not aim for the head''(In this episode, a major character was hit in the head by a pitch during a baseball game.)'' |
− | |[[Homer the | + | |[[Homer at the Bat]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |53 |
− | | | + | |February 27, 1992 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not barf unless I'm sick ''(And during the episode:'' I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty'')'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Separate Vocations]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
− | | | + | |54 |
− | | | + | |March 12, 1992 |
− | |' | + | |I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Dog of Death]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |55 |
− | | | + | |March 26, 1992 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not conduct my own fire drills |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Colonel Homer]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
− | | | + | |56 |
− | | | + | |April 9, 1992 |
− | | | + | |Funny noises are not funny |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Black Widower]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |57 |
− | | | + | |April 23, 1992 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not spin the turtle |
− | |[[ | + | |[[The Otto Show]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" |
− | | | + | |58 |
− | | | + | |May 7, 1992 |
− | | | + | |I will not snap bras |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Bart's Friend Falls in Love]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |59 |
− | | | + | |August 27, 1992 |
− | | | + | |I will not fake seizures |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?]] |
+ | |} | ||
+ | |||
+ | == [[The Simpsons (season 4)|Season 4]] == | ||
+ | |||
+ | {|class="wikitable" width="100%" | ||
+ | !width="22" style="background-color: #85CAFF"|# | ||
+ | !width="117" style="background-color: #85CAFF"|Airdate | ||
+ | !style="background-color: #85CAFF"|Gag | ||
+ | !width="200" style="background-color: #85CAFF"|Episode Name | ||
|-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | |-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | ||
− | | | + | |60 |
− | | | + | |September 24, 1992 |
− | | | + | |This punishment is not boring and pointless |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Kamp Krusty]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |61 |
− | | | + | |October 01, 1992 |
− | | | + | |My name is not "Dr. Death" |
− | |[[Marge | + | |[[A Streetcar Named Marge]] |
|-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | |-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | ||
− | | | + | |62 |
− | | | + | |October 08, 1992 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not defame New Orleans''(This was due to complaints regarding the [[A Streetcar Named Marge|previous episode]]'s song about New Orleans.)'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Homer the Heretic]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |63 |
− | | | + | |October 15, 1992 |
− | | | + | |I will not prescribe medication |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Lisa the Beauty Queen]] |
|-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | |-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | ||
− | | | + | |64 |
− | | | + | |October 29, 1992 |
− | | | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Treehouse of Horror III]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |65 |
− | | | + | |November 03, 1992 |
− | | | + | |I will not bury the new kid ''(During the episode, Marge writes "I will try to raise a better child.")'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[:Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie]] |
|-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | |-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | ||
− | | | + | |66 |
− | | | + | |November 05, 1992 |
− | | | + | |I will not teach others to fly |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Marge Gets a Job]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |67 |
− | | | + | |November 12, 1992 |
− | | | + | |I will not bring sheep to class |
− | |[[ | + | |[[New Kid on the Block]] |
|-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | |-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | ||
− | | | + | |68 |
− | | | + | |November 19, 1992 |
− | | | + | |A burp is not an answer |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Mr. Plow]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |69 |
− | | | + | |December 03, 1992 |
− | | | + | |Teacher is not a leper |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Lisa's First Word]] |
|-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | |-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" | ||
− | | | + | |70 |
− | | | + | |December 17, 1992 |
− | | | + | |Coffee is not for kids ''(Each line becomes less legible and more scrawled.)'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Homer's Triple Bypass]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |71 |
− | | | + | |January 14, 1993 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not eat things for money |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Marge vs. the Monorail]] |
− | | | + | |-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
− | + | |72 | |
− | + | |January 21, 1993 | |
− | + | |I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call | |
− | + | |[[Selma's Choice]] | |
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |I will | ||
− | |[[ | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |73 |
− | | | + | |February 04, 1993 |
− | |The | + | |The [[Seymour Skinner|principal]]'s toupée is not a frisbee |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Brother from the Same Planet]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
− | | | + | |74 |
− | | | + | |February 11, 1993 |
− | | | + | |I will not call the principal "spud head" |
− | |[[ | + | |[[I Love Lisa]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |75 |
− | | | + | |February 18, 1993 |
− | |' | + | |Goldfish don't bounce |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Duffless]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
− | | | + | |76 |
− | | | + | |March 11, 1993 |
− | | | + | |Mud is not one of the 4 food groups |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Last Exit to Springfield]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |77 |
− | | | + | |April 01, 1993 |
− | | | + | |No one is interested in my underpants |
− | |[[ | + | |[[:So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
− | | | + | |78 |
− | | | + | |April 15, 1993 |
− | | | + | |I will not sell miracle cures |
− | |[[ | + | |[[The Front]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |79 |
− | | | + | |April 29, 1993 |
− | | | + | |I will return the seeing-eye dog |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Whacking Day]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #E3F2FF" |
− | | | + | |80 |
− | | | + | |May 06, 1993 |
− | | | + | |I do not have diplomatic immunity |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Marge in Chains]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |81 |
− | | | + | |May 13,1993 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not charge admission to the bathroom |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Krusty Gets Kancelled]] |
+ | |} | ||
+ | |||
+ | == [[The Simpsons (season 5)|Season 5]] == | ||
+ | |||
+ | {|class="wikitable" width="100%" | ||
+ | !width="22" style="background-color: #FD9D83"|# | ||
+ | !width="117" style="background-color: #FD9D83"|Airdate | ||
+ | !style="background-color: #FD9D83"|Gag | ||
+ | !width="200" style="background-color: #FD9D83"|Episode Name | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | |-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | ||
− | | | + | |82 |
− | | | + | |September 30, 1993 |
− | |I | + | |I will never win an [[Emmy Award|Emmy]] (''Nine Emmy awards had been won by the show and cast by show's date'') |
− | |[[Homer | + | |[[Homer's Barbershop Quartet]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |83 |
− | | | + | |October 07, 1993 |
− | | | + | |The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Cape Feare]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | |-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | ||
− | | | + | |84 |
− | | | + | |October 14, 1993 |
− | | | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |[[Homer | + | |[[Homer Goes to College]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |85 |
− | | | + | |October 21, 1993 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
− | |[[ | + | |[[Rosebud (The Simpsons)|Rosebud]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | |-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | ||
− | | | + | |86 |
− | | | + | |October 28, 1993 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
− | |[[ | + | |[[Treehouse of Horror IV]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |87 |
− | | | + | |November 04, 1993 |
− | | | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Marge on the Lam]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | |-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | ||
− | | | + | |88 |
− | | | + | |November 11, 1993 |
− | | | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |[[Bart | + | |[[Bart's Inner Child]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |89 |
− | | | + | |November 18, 1993 |
− | | | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Boy-Scoutz N the Hood]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | |-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | ||
− | | | + | |90 |
− | | | + | |December 09, 1993 |
− | | | + | |All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy |
− | |[[ | + | |[[The Last Temptation of Homer]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |91 |
− | | | + | |December 16, 1993 |
− | | | + | |I will not say "[[Springfield]]" just to get applause |
− | |[[ | + | |[[$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | |-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | ||
− | | | + | |92 |
− | | | + | |January 06, 1994 |
− | |I | + | |I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Homer the Vigilante]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |93 |
− | | | + | |February 03, 1994 |
− | | | + | |My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Bart Gets Famous]] |
− | + | |-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" | |
− | + | |94 | |
− | + | |February 10, 1994 | |
− | + | |I will not go near the kindergarten turtle | |
− | + | |[[Homer and Apu]] | |
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |-style="background-color: # | ||
− | | | ||
− | | | ||
− | | | ||
− | |[[ | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |95 |
− | | | + | |February 17, 1994 |
− | | | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |[[Lisa | + | |[[Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
− | | | + | |96 |
− | | | + | |February 24, 1994 |
− | | | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Deep Space Homer]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |97 |
− | | | + | |March 17, 1994 |
− | |I am not | + | |I am not delightfully saucy |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Homer Loves Flanders]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
− | | | + | |98 |
− | | | + | |March 31, 1994 |
− | | | + | |Organ transplants are best left to the professionals |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Bart Gets an Elephant]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |99 |
− | | | + | |April 14, 1994 |
− | | | + | |The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail [[Satan]]" |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Burns' Heir]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
− | | | + | |100 |
− | | | + | |April 28, 1994 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not celebrate meaningless milestones''([[Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song|100th episode]])'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |101 |
− | | | + | |May 05, 1994 |
− | | | + | |There are plenty of businesses like show business |
− | |[[ | + | |[[The Boy Who Knew Too Much]] |
− | |-style="background-color: # | + | |-style="background-color: #FFEBD9" |
− | | | + | |102 |
− | | | + | |May 12, 1994 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Lady Bouvier's Lover]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |103 |
− | | | + | |May 19, 1994 |
− | | | + | |Five days is not too long to wait for a gun |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Secrets of a Successful Marriage]] |
+ | |} | ||
+ | |||
+ | == [[The Simpsons (season 6)|Season 6]] == | ||
+ | |||
+ | {|class="wikitable" width="100%" | ||
+ | !width="22" style="background-color: #BCBCBC"|# | ||
+ | !width="117" style="background-color: #BCBCBC"|Airdate | ||
+ | !style="background-color: #BCBCBC"|Gag | ||
+ | !width="200" style="background-color: #BCBCBC"|Episode Name | ||
|-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | ||
− | | | + | |104 |
− | | | + | |September 04, 1994 |
− | | | + | |Beans are neither a fruit nor musical (This takes us back to "Whacking Day") |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Bart of Darkness]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |105 |
− | | | + | |September 11, 1994 |
− | | | + | |No one is interested in my underpants |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Lisa's Rival]] |
|-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | ||
− | | | + | |106 |
− | | | + | |September 25, 1994 |
− | | | + | |I will not use abbrev. |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Another Simpsons Clip Show]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |107 |
− | | | + | |October 02, 1994 |
− | | | + | |I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr. |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Itchy & Scratchy Land]] |
|-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | ||
− | | | + | |108 |
− | | | + | |October 09, 1994 |
− | | | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Sideshow Bob Roberts]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |109 |
− | | | + | |October 30, 1994 |
− | | | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Treehouse of Horror V]] |
|-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | ||
− | | | + | |110 |
− | | | + | |November 06, 1994 |
− | |I will | + | |I will not send lard through the mail |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Bart's Girlfriend]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |111 |
− | | | + | |November 13, 1994 |
− | | | + | |I will not dissect things unless instructed |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Lisa on Ice]] |
− | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | + | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
− | | | + | |112 |
− | | | + | |November 27, 1994 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not whittle hall passes out of soap |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Homer Badman]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |113 |
− | | | + | |December 04, 1994 |
− | | | + | |My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man''(recycled from 1F11)'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy]] |
|-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | ||
− | | | + | |114 |
− | | | + | |December 18, 1994 |
− | | | + | |[[Ralph Wiggum|Ralph]] won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Fear of Flying]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |115 |
− | | | + | |January 08, 1995 |
− | | | + | |Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Homer the Great]] |
− | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | + | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
− | | | + | |116 |
− | | | + | |January 22, 1995 |
− | | | + | |'Bagman' is not a legitimate career choice |
− | |[[ | + | |[[And Maggie Makes Three]] |
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
− | | | + | |117 |
− | | | + | |February 05, 1995 |
− | | | + | |Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Bart's Comet]] |
|-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | ||
− | | | + | |118 |
− | | | + | |February 12, 1995 |
− | | | + | |Next time it could be me on the scaffolding |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Homie the Clown]] |
− | | | + | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
− | + | |119 | |
− | + | |February 19, 1995 | |
− | + | |I will not hang [[donuts]] on my person | |
− | + | |[[Bart vs. Australia]] | |
− | + | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | |
− | + | |120 | |
− | + | |February 26, 1995 | |
− | + | |I will remember to take my medication | |
− | |-style="background-color:# | + | |[[Homer vs. Patty & Selma]] |
− | | | + | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
− | | | + | |121 |
− | |I | + | |March 05, 1995 |
− | |[[ | + | |''no gag'' |
− | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | + | |[[A Star Is Burns]] |
− | | | + | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
− | | | + | |122 |
− | | | + | |March 19, 1995 |
− | |[[ | + | |I will not strut around like I own the place |
− | |-style="background-color:# | + | |[[Lisa's Wedding]] |
− | | | + | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
− | | | + | |123 |
− | | | + | |April 09, 1995 |
− | |[[ | + | |The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far |
− | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | + | |[[Two Dozen and One Greyhounds]] |
− | | | + | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
− | | | + | |124 |
− | | | + | |April 16, 1995 |
− | |[[ | + | |I do not have power of attorney over first graders |
− | |-style="background-color:# | + | |[[The PTA Disbands]] |
− | | | + | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" |
− | | | + | |125 |
− | | | + | |April 30, 1995 |
− | |[[ | + | |Nerve gas is not a toy |
− | | | + | |[['Round Springfield]] |
− | | | + | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" |
− | | | + | |126 |
− | | | + | |May 07, 1995 |
− | | | + | |I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface |
+ | |[[The Springfield Connection]] | ||
+ | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
+ | |127 | ||
+ | |May 14, 1995 | ||
+ | |The First Amendment does not cover burping | ||
+ | |[[Lemon of Troy]] | ||
+ | |-style="background-color: #EAEAEA" | ||
+ | |128 | ||
+ | |May 21, 1995 | ||
+ | |This is not a clue... or is it? ''(part 1 of "[[Who Shot Mr. Burns?]]")'' | ||
+ | |[[Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)]] | ||
+ | |} | ||
+ | |||
+ | == [[The Simpsons (season 7)|Season 7]] == | ||
+ | |||
+ | {|class="wikitable" width="100%" | ||
+ | !width="22" style="background-color: #9B98D8"|# | ||
+ | !width="117" style="background-color: #9B98D8"|Airdate | ||
+ | !style="background-color: #9B98D8"|Gag | ||
+ | !width="200" style="background-color: #9B98D8"|Episode Name | ||
|-style="background-color:#F1F1F9" | |-style="background-color:#F1F1F9" | ||
− | | | + | |129 |
− | | | + | |September 17, 1995 |
− | | | + | |I will not complain about the solution when I hear it ''(part 2 of "[[Who Shot Mr. Burns?]]")'' |
− | |[[ | + | |[[Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)]] |
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
− | |136 | + | |130 |
− | |November 19, 1995 | + | |September 24, 1995 |
+ | |"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism | ||
+ | |[[Radioactive Man (episode)|Radioactive Man]] | ||
+ | |-style="background-color:#F1F1F9" | ||
+ | |131 | ||
+ | |October 01, 1995 | ||
+ | |No one wants to hear from my armpits | ||
+ | |[[Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily]] | ||
+ | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
+ | |132 | ||
+ | |October 08, 1995 | ||
+ | |I am not a lean mean spitting machine | ||
+ | |[[Bart Sells His Soul]] | ||
+ | |-style="background-color:#F1F1F9" | ||
+ | |133 | ||
+ | |October 15, 1995 | ||
+ | |The boys' room is not a water park | ||
+ | |[[Lisa the Vegetarian]] | ||
+ | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
+ | |134 | ||
+ | |October 29, 1995 | ||
+ | |''no gag'' | ||
+ | |[[Treehouse of Horror VI]] | ||
+ | |-style="background-color:#F1F1F9" | ||
+ | |135 | ||
+ | |November 05, 1995 | ||
+ | |Indian burns are not our cultural heritage | ||
+ | |[[King-Size Homer]] | ||
+ | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
+ | |136 | ||
+ | |November 19, 1995 | ||
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Mother Simpson]] | |[[Mother Simpson]] | ||
Line 832: | Line 913: | ||
{|width="100%" class="wikitable" | {|width="100%" class="wikitable" | ||
− | !width="22" style="background-color: #8BC7D7"|[[Chalkboard gag]] | + | !width="22" style="background-color: #8BC7D7"|[[Chalkboard gag]] |
− | !width="117" style="background-color: #8BC7D7"|Airdate | + | !width="117" style="background-color: #8BC7D7"|Airdate |
− | !style="background-color: #8BC7D7"|Gag | + | !style="background-color: #8BC7D7"|Gag |
!width="200" style="background-color: #8BC7D7"|Episode Name | !width="200" style="background-color: #8BC7D7"|Episode Name | ||
|-style="background-color:#EDF6F8" | |-style="background-color:#EDF6F8" | ||
Line 966: | Line 1,047: | ||
{|class="wikitable" width="100%" | {|class="wikitable" width="100%" | ||
− | !width="22" style="background-color: #E08DBE"|# | + | !width="22" style="background-color: #E08DBE"|# |
− | !width="117" style="background-color: #E08DBE"|Airdate | + | !width="117" style="background-color: #E08DBE"|Airdate |
− | !style="background-color: #E08DBE"|Gag | + | !style="background-color: #E08DBE"|Gag |
!width="200" style="background-color: #E08DBE"|Episode Name | !width="200" style="background-color: #E08DBE"|Episode Name | ||
|-style="background-color:#F7D6E8" | |-style="background-color:#F7D6E8" | ||
Line 1,101: | Line 1,182: | ||
{|width="100%" class="wikitable" | {|width="100%" class="wikitable" | ||
− | !width="22" style="background-color: #bca56a"|# | + | !width="22" style="background-color: #bca56a"|# |
− | !width="117" style="background-color: #bca56a"|Airdate | + | !width="117" style="background-color: #bca56a"|Airdate |
− | !style="background-color: #bca56a"|Gag | + | !style="background-color: #bca56a"|Gag |
!width="200" style="background-color: #bca56a"|Episode Name | !width="200" style="background-color: #bca56a"|Episode Name | ||
|-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | |-style="background-color:#efe6d0" | ||
Line 1,128: | Line 1,209: | ||
|208 | |208 | ||
|[http:///index.php?title=November_08&action=edit&redlink=1 November 08], [http:///index.php?title=1998&action=edit&redlink=1 1998] | |[http:///index.php?title=November_08&action=edit&redlink=1 November 08], [http:///index.php?title=1998&action=edit&redlink=1 1998] | ||
− | |"butt.com" is not my [http:///index.php?title=E-mail_address&action=edit&redlink=1 E-mail address]''(This was changed to "butt.butt" in later airings since butt.com was revealed to be a real website. | + | |"butt.com" is not my [http:///index.php?title=E-mail_address&action=edit&redlink=1 E-mail address]''(This was changed to "butt.butt" in later airings since butt.com was revealed to be a real website. Butt.com still appeared in syndication, however.)'' |
|[[When You Dish upon a Star]] | |[[When You Dish upon a Star]] | ||
|-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color:#FFFFFF" | ||
Line 1,226: | Line 1,307: | ||
{|class="wikitable" width="100%" | {|class="wikitable" width="100%" | ||
− | !width="22" style="background-color: #FADA00"|# | + | !width="22" style="background-color: #FADA00"|# |
− | !width="117" style="background-color: #FADA00"|Airdate | + | !width="117" style="background-color: #FADA00"|Airdate |
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|[http:///index.php?title=December_17&action=edit&redlink=1 December 17], [http:///index.php?title=2006&action=edit&redlink=1 2006] | |[http:///index.php?title=December_17&action=edit&redlink=1 December 17], [http:///index.php?title=2006&action=edit&redlink=1 2006] | ||
|[http:///index.php?title=Frankincense&action=edit&redlink=1 Frankincense] is not [http:///index.php?title=Frankenstein%27s_monster&action=edit&redlink=1 a monster] | |[http:///index.php?title=Frankincense&action=edit&redlink=1 Frankincense] is not [http:///index.php?title=Frankenstein%27s_monster&action=edit&redlink=1 a monster] | ||
− | |"[[: | + | |"[[:Kill Gil: Vols. 1 & 2]]" |
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==[[Season 21]]== | ==[[Season 21]]== | ||
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== ''The Simpsons Movie'' == | == ''The Simpsons Movie'' == | ||
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Revision as of 16:59, April 2, 2010
The following is a list of chalkboard gags seen on The Simpsons.
Contents
Season 1
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | December 17, 1989 | no gag | Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
2 | January 14, 1990 | I will not waste chalk | Bart the Genius | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
3 | January 21, 1990 | I will not skateboard in the halls | Homer's Odyssey | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
4 | January 28, 1990 | I will not burp in class | There's No Disgrace Like Home | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
5
|
February 4, 1990 | no gag - shortened opening due to time | Bart the General | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
457 march 21 2010 the family comes in as dogs a man picks bart homer gets mad and they fight the greatist story ever dohd | February 11, 1990 | I will not instigate revolution | Moaning Lisa | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
7 | February 18, 1990 | I will not draw naked ladies in class | Call of the Simpsons | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
8 | February 25, 1990 | I did not see Elvis | The Telltale Head | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
9 | March 18, 1990 | no gag - shortened opening due to time | Life on the Fast Lane | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
10 | March 25, 1990 | I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" | Homer's Night Out | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
11 | April 15, 1990 | Garlic gum is not funny | The Crepes of Wrath | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
12 | April 29, 1990 | They are laughing at me, not with me | Krusty Gets Busted | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
13 | May 13, 1990 | I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom | Some Enchanted Evening |
Season 2
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
14 | October 11, 1990 | I will not encourage others to fly (And during the episode: I will not fake my way through life) | Bart Gets an F |
15 | October 18, 1990 | Tar is not a plaything | Simpson and Delilah |
16 | October 25, 1990 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror |
17 | November 1, 1990 | I will not Xerox my butt (Alternate chalkboard gag aired on June 2, 1992 rerun - "It's 'potato', not 'potatoe'") | Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish |
18 | November 8, 1990 | I will not trade pants with others | Dancin' Homer |
19 | November 15, 1990 | I am not a 32 year old woman (though at the time, the voice of Bart, Nancy Cartwright, was) | Dead Putting Society |
20 | November 22, 1990 | I will not do that thing with my tongue | Bart vs. Thanksgiving |
21 | December 6, 1990 | I will not drive the principal's car (similar chalkboard gag in The Months, with the principal being replaced by December) | Bart the Daredevil |
22 | December 20, 1990 | I will not pledge allegiance to Bart | Itchy & Scratchy & Marge |
23 | January 10, 1991 | I will not sell school property | Bart Gets Hit by a Car |
24 | January 24, 1991 | I will not cut corners (This is written for 3 lines. The remaining lines are all "ditto" quotation marks.) | One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish |
25 | January 31, 1991 | I will not get very far with this attitude | The Way We Was |
26 | February 7, 1991 | I will not make flatulent noises in class | Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment |
27 | February 14, 1991 | I will not belch the national anthem | Principal Charming |
28 | February 21, 1991 | I will not sell land in Florida | Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? |
29 | March 7, 1991 | I will not sell school property | Bart's Dog Gets an F |
30 | March 28, 1991 | I will not grease the monkey bars | Old Money |
31 | April 11, 1991 | I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment | Brush with Greatness |
32 | April 25, 1991 | no gag | Lisa's Substitute |
33 | May 2, 1991 | I will not do anything bad ever again | The War of the Simpsons |
34 | May 9, 1991 | I will not show off (This was written in Blackletter.) | Three Men and a Comic Book |
35 | July 11, 1991 | I will not sleep through my education | Blood Feud |
Season 3
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
36 | September 19, 1991 | I am not a dentist | Stark Raving Dad |
37 | September 26, 1991 | Spitwads are not free speech | Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington |
38 | October 3, 1991 | Nobody likes sunburn slappers | When Flanders Failed |
39 | October 10, 1991 | High explosives and school don't mix (And during the episode: I will not bribe Principal Skinner) | Bart the Murderer |
40 | October 17, 1991 | I will not squeak chalk(Bart makes the chalk squeak as he writes this.) | Homer Defined |
41 | October 24, 1991 | I will finish what I sta (written only once) | Like Father, Like Clown |
42 | October 31, 1991 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror II |
43 | November 7, 1991 | "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender | Lisa's Pony |
44 | November 14, 1991 | I will not fake rabies | Saturdays of Thunder |
45 | November 21, 1991 | Underwear should be worn on the inside | Flaming Moe's |
46 | December 5, 1991 | The Christmas Pageant does not stink | Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk |
47 | December 26, 1991 | I will not torment the emotionally frail | I Married Marge |
48 | January 9, 1992 | I will not carve gods | Radio Bart |
49 | January 23, 1992 | no gag | Lisa the Greek |
50 | February 6, 1992 | I will not spank others | Homer Alone |
51 | February 13, 1992 | no gag | Bart the Lover |
52 | February 20, 1992 | I will not aim for the head(In this episode, a major character was hit in the head by a pitch during a baseball game.) | Homer at the Bat |
53 | February 27, 1992 | I will not barf unless I'm sick (And during the episode: I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty) | Separate Vocations |
54 | March 12, 1992 | I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge | Dog of Death |
55 | March 26, 1992 | I will not conduct my own fire drills | Colonel Homer |
56 | April 9, 1992 | Funny noises are not funny | Black Widower |
57 | April 23, 1992 | I will not spin the turtle | The Otto Show |
58 | May 7, 1992 | I will not snap bras | Bart's Friend Falls in Love |
59 | August 27, 1992 | I will not fake seizures | Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes? |
Season 4
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
60 | September 24, 1992 | This punishment is not boring and pointless | Kamp Krusty |
61 | October 01, 1992 | My name is not "Dr. Death" | A Streetcar Named Marge |
62 | October 08, 1992 | I will not defame New Orleans(This was due to complaints regarding the previous episode's song about New Orleans.) | Homer the Heretic |
63 | October 15, 1992 | I will not prescribe medication | Lisa the Beauty Queen |
64 | October 29, 1992 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror III |
65 | November 03, 1992 | I will not bury the new kid (During the episode, Marge writes "I will try to raise a better child.") | Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie |
66 | November 05, 1992 | I will not teach others to fly | Marge Gets a Job |
67 | November 12, 1992 | I will not bring sheep to class | New Kid on the Block |
68 | November 19, 1992 | A burp is not an answer | Mr. Plow |
69 | December 03, 1992 | Teacher is not a leper | Lisa's First Word |
70 | December 17, 1992 | Coffee is not for kids (Each line becomes less legible and more scrawled.) | Homer's Triple Bypass |
71 | January 14, 1993 | I will not eat things for money | Marge vs. the Monorail |
72 | January 21, 1993 | I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call | Selma's Choice |
73 | February 04, 1993 | The principal's toupée is not a frisbee | Brother from the Same Planet |
74 | February 11, 1993 | I will not call the principal "spud head" | I Love Lisa |
75 | February 18, 1993 | Goldfish don't bounce | Duffless |
76 | March 11, 1993 | Mud is not one of the 4 food groups | Last Exit to Springfield |
77 | April 01, 1993 | No one is interested in my underpants | So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show |
78 | April 15, 1993 | I will not sell miracle cures | The Front |
79 | April 29, 1993 | I will return the seeing-eye dog | Whacking Day |
80 | May 06, 1993 | I do not have diplomatic immunity | Marge in Chains |
81 | May 13,1993 | I will not charge admission to the bathroom | Krusty Gets Kancelled |
Season 5
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
82 | September 30, 1993 | I will never win an Emmy (Nine Emmy awards had been won by the show and cast by show's date) | Homer's Barbershop Quartet |
83 | October 07, 1993 | The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy | Cape Feare |
84 | October 14, 1993 | no gag | Homer Goes to College |
85 | October 21, 1993 | no gag | Rosebud |
86 | October 28, 1993 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror IV |
87 | November 04, 1993 | no gag | Marge on the Lam |
88 | November 11, 1993 | no gag | Bart's Inner Child |
89 | November 18, 1993 | no gag | Boy-Scoutz N the Hood |
90 | December 09, 1993 | All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy | The Last Temptation of Homer |
91 | December 16, 1993 | I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause | $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling) |
92 | January 06, 1994 | I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers | Homer the Vigilante |
93 | February 03, 1994 | My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man | Bart Gets Famous |
94 | February 10, 1994 | I will not go near the kindergarten turtle | Homer and Apu |
95 | February 17, 1994 | no gag | Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy |
96 | February 24, 1994 | no gag | Deep Space Homer |
97 | March 17, 1994 | I am not delightfully saucy | Homer Loves Flanders |
98 | March 31, 1994 | Organ transplants are best left to the professionals | Bart Gets an Elephant |
99 | April 14, 1994 | The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan" | Burns' Heir |
100 | April 28, 1994 | I will not celebrate meaningless milestones(100th episode) | Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song |
101 | May 05, 1994 | There are plenty of businesses like show business | The Boy Who Knew Too Much |
102 | May 12, 1994 | I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball | Lady Bouvier's Lover |
103 | May 19, 1994 | Five days is not too long to wait for a gun | Secrets of a Successful Marriage |
Season 6
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
104 | September 04, 1994 | Beans are neither a fruit nor musical (This takes us back to "Whacking Day") | Bart of Darkness |
105 | September 11, 1994 | No one is interested in my underpants | Lisa's Rival |
106 | September 25, 1994 | I will not use abbrev. | Another Simpsons Clip Show |
107 | October 02, 1994 | I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr. | Itchy & Scratchy Land |
108 | October 09, 1994 | no gag | Sideshow Bob Roberts |
109 | October 30, 1994 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror V |
110 | November 06, 1994 | I will not send lard through the mail | Bart's Girlfriend |
111 | November 13, 1994 | I will not dissect things unless instructed | Lisa on Ice |
112 | November 27, 1994 | I will not whittle hall passes out of soap | Homer Badman |
113 | December 04, 1994 | My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man(recycled from 1F11) | Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy |
114 | December 18, 1994 | Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough | Fear of Flying |
115 | January 08, 1995 | Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal | Homer the Great |
116 | January 22, 1995 | 'Bagman' is not a legitimate career choice | And Maggie Makes Three |
117 | February 05, 1995 | Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does | Bart's Comet |
118 | February 12, 1995 | Next time it could be me on the scaffolding | Homie the Clown |
119 | February 19, 1995 | I will not hang donuts on my person | Bart vs. Australia |
120 | February 26, 1995 | I will remember to take my medication | Homer vs. Patty & Selma |
121 | March 05, 1995 | no gag | A Star Is Burns |
122 | March 19, 1995 | I will not strut around like I own the place | Lisa's Wedding |
123 | April 09, 1995 | The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far | Two Dozen and One Greyhounds |
124 | April 16, 1995 | I do not have power of attorney over first graders | The PTA Disbands |
125 | April 30, 1995 | Nerve gas is not a toy | 'Round Springfield |
126 | May 07, 1995 | I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface | The Springfield Connection |
127 | May 14, 1995 | The First Amendment does not cover burping | Lemon of Troy |
128 | May 21, 1995 | This is not a clue... or is it? (part 1 of "Who Shot Mr. Burns?") | Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One) |
Season 7
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
129 | September 17, 1995 | I will not complain about the solution when I hear it (part 2 of "Who Shot Mr. Burns?") | Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two) |
130 | September 24, 1995 | "Bewitched" does not promote Satanism | Radioactive Man |
131 | October 01, 1995 | No one wants to hear from my armpits | Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily |
132 | October 08, 1995 | I am not a lean mean spitting machine | Bart Sells His Soul |
133 | October 15, 1995 | The boys' room is not a water park | Lisa the Vegetarian |
134 | October 29, 1995 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror VI |
135 | November 05, 1995 | Indian burns are not our cultural heritage | King-Size Homer |
136 | November 19, 1995 | no gag | Mother Simpson |
137 | November 26, 1995 | Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things | Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming |
138 | December 03, 1995 | I will only do this once a year ("The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular," a clip show) | The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular |
139 | December 17, 1995 | I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist | Marge Be Not Proud |
140 | January 07, 1996 | I am not certified to remove asbestos | Team Homer |
141 | January 14, 1996 | no gag | Two Bad Neighbors |
142 | February 04, 1996 | no gag | Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield |
143 | February 11, 1996 | no gag | Bart the Fink |
144 | February 18, 1996 | no gag | Lisa the Iconoclast |
145 | February 25, 1996 | no gag | Homer the Smithers |
146 | March 17, 1996 | no gag | The Day the Violence Died |
147 | March 24, 1996 | no gag | A Fish Called Selma |
148 | March 31, 1996 | no gag | Bart on the Road |
149 | April 14, 1996 | no gag | 22 Short Films About Springfield |
150 | April 28, 1996 | no gag | Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish" |
151 | May 05, 1996 | no gag | Much Apu About Nothing |
152 | May 19, 1996 | no gag | Homerpalooza |
153 | May 19, 1996 | no gag | Summer of 4 Ft. 2 |
Season 8
Chalkboard gag | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
154 | October 27, 1996 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror VII |
155 | November 03, 1996 | I did not learn everything I need to know from kindergarten | You Only Move Twice |
156 | November 10, 1996 | I am not my long-lost twin | The Homer They Fall |
157 | November 17, 1996 | no gag | Burns, Baby Burns |
158 | November 24, 1996 | no gag | Bart After Dark |
159 | December 01, 1996 | no gag | A Milhouse Divided |
160 | December 15, 1996 | no gag'(But during the episode, Lisa writes "I will not be a snickerpuss.") | Lisa's Date with Density |
161 | December 29, 1996 | no gag | Hurricane Neddy |
162 | January 05, 1997 | no gag | El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer) |
163 | January 12, 1997 | The truth is not out there("The Springfield Files," an X-Files parody episode) | The Springfield Files |
164 | January 19, 1997 | I am not licensed to do anything (referencing a James Bond movie) | The Twisted World of Marge Simpson |
165 | February 02, 1997 | no gag | Mountain of Madness |
166 | February 07, 1997 | I will not hide the teacher's Prozac | Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious |
167 | February 09, 1997 | no gag | The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show |
168 | February 16, 1997 | no gag | Homer's Phobia |
169 | February 23, 1997 | no gag | Brother from Another Series |
170 | March 02, 1997 | no gag | My Sister, My Sitter |
171 | March 16, 1997 | no gag | Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment |
172 | April 06, 1997 | no gag | Grade School Confidential |
173 | April 13, 1997 | A fire drill does not demand a fire | The Canine Mutiny |
174 | April 20, 1997 | no gag | The Old Man and the Lisa |
175 | April 27, 1997 | no gag | In Marge We Trust |
176 | May 04, 1997 | no gag | Homer's Enemy |
177 | May 11, 1997 | no gag | The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase |
178 | May 18, 1997 | no gag | The Secret War of Lisa Simpson |
Season 9
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
179 | September 21, 1997 | no gag | The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson |
180 | September 28, 1997 | no gag | The Principal and the Pauper |
181 | October 19, 1997 | I no longer want my MTV(reference to the lyrics of the Dire Straits song Money for Nothing, and a possible jab at MTV's declining quality due to lack of music videos and music-related programming) | Lisa's Sax |
182 | October 26, 1997 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror VIII |
183 | November 02, 1997 | Everyone is tired of that Richard Gerestory | The Cartridge Family |
184 | November 09, 1997 | I did not invent Irish dancing | Bart Star |
185 | November 16, 1997 | no gag | The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons |
186 | November 23, 1997 | I will not tease Fatty | Lisa the Skeptic |
187 | December 07, 1997 | There was no Roman god named "Fartacus" | Realty Bites |
188 | December 21, 1997 | Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related | Miracle on Evergreen Terrace |
189 | January 04, 1998 | no gag | All Singing, All Dancing |
190 | January 11, 1998 | no gag | Bart Carny |
191 | February 08, 1998 | Shooting paintballs is not an art form | The Joy of Sect |
192 | February 15, 1998 | no gag | Das Bus |
193 | February 22, 1998 | Pain is not the cleanser (Surprisingly, Ned Flanders shouted "Pain is the cleanser!" as he yanked his moustache in the episode Home Away from Homer.) | The Last Temptation of Krust |
194 | March 01, 1998 | Silly string is not a nasal spray | Dumbbell Indemnity |
195 | March 08, 1998 | no gag | Lisa the Simpson |
196 | March 22, 1998 | I was told not to do this | This Little Wiggy |
197 | March 29, 1998 | My butt does not deserve a website | Simpson Tide |
198 | April 05, 1998 | I will not demand what I'm worth (This is a reference to the voice cast's recent demands for higher pay.) | The Trouble With Trillions |
199 | April 19, 1998 | no gag | Girly Edition |
200 | April 26, 1998 | I will not mess with the opening credits(This was actually the couch gag for this episode; the rest of the family runs into the classroom to find Bart already there writing on the board.) | Trash of the Titans |
201 | May 03, 1998 | no gag | King of the Hill |
202 | May 10, 1998 | I am not the new Dalai Lama | Lost Our Lisa |
203 | May 17, 1998 | I was not the inspiration for "Kramer" (This episode aired three days after the last episode of "Seinfeld".) | Natural Born Kissers |
Season 10
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
204 | August 23, 1998 | no gag | Lard of the Dance |
205 | September 20, 1998 | I will not file frivolous lawsuits | The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace |
206 | September 27, 1998 | no gag | Bart the Mother |
207 | October 25, 1998 | The Simpsons Halloween Special IX (This is written in blood with a paintbrush.) | Treehouse of Horror IX |
208 | November 08, 1998 | "butt.com" is not my E-mail address(This was changed to "butt.butt" in later airings since butt.com was revealed to be a real website. Butt.com still appeared in syndication, however.) | When You Dish upon a Star |
209 | November 15, 1998 | No one cares what my definition of "is" is | D'oh-in in the Wind |
210 | November 22, 1998 | I will not scream for ice cream | Lisa Gets an "A" |
211 | December 06, 1998 | I am not a licensed hairstylist | Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble" |
212 | December 20, 1998 | "The President did it" is not an excuse (This aired a day after impeachment proceedings started against Bill Clinton) | Mayored to the Mob |
213 | January 10, 1999 | My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld | Viva Ned Flanders |
214 | January 17, 1999 | Sherri does not "got back" | Wild Barts Can't Be Broken |
215 | January 31, 1999 | I will not do "the dirty bird" (This episode aired the night of Super Bowl XXXIII, in which the Atlanta Falcons, for whom "The Dirty Bird" was a signature dance/celebration, played.) | Sunday, Cruddy Sunday |
216 | February 07, 1999 | No one cares about my sciatica | Homer to the Max |
217 | February 14, 1999 | Hillbillies are people too | I'm with Cupid |
218 | February 21, 1999 | Grammar is not a time of waste | Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers" |
219 | February 28, 1999 | I do not have diplomatic immunity (Taken from 9F20) | Make Room for Lisa |
220 | March 28, 1999 | It does not suck to be you (A reference to a Prozzäk song) | Maximum Homerdrive |
221 | April 04, 1999 | I cannot absolve sins (And during Lisa's dream in the episode: I will not deface using hieroglyphics where possible) | Simpsons Bible Stories |
222 | April 11, 1999 | A trained ape could not teach gym | Mom and Pop Art |
223 | April 25, 1999 | Loose teeth don't need my help | The Old Man and the "C" Student |
224 | May 02, 1999 | I have neither been there nor done that | Monty Can't Buy Me Love |
225 | May 09, 1999 | No one wants to hear from my armpits (This is from 3F01) | They Saved Lisa's Brain |
226 | May 16, 1999 | I'm so very tired (At this point, Bart had been doing these gags for ten seasons.) | Thirty Minutes over Tokyo |
Season 11
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
227 | September 26, 1999 | Fridays are not "pants optional" (In Australia, Hamish and Andy (a comedy duo) have decided that Friday should be Pants off Friday.) | Beyond Blunderdome |
228 | October 03, 1999 | Pork is not a verb(the irony is that "pork" is a verb, albeit a vulgar slang term, meaning "to have sexual intercourse with") | Brother's Little Helper |
229 | October 24, 1999 | I am not the last Don(Possibly a reference to the 1997 TV minseries of the same name, which starred Joe Mantegna, voice of recurring Simpsons character Fat Tony) | Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner? |
230 | October 31, 1999 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror X |
231 | November 07, 1999 | I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize | E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt) |
232 | November 14, 1999 | I won't not use no double negatives(since three negatives are used, the sentence is true) | Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder |
233 | November 21, 1999 | Indian burns are not our cultural heritage (This is from 3F05) | Eight Misbehavin' |
234 | November 28, 1999 | I can't see dead people (This is a reference to The Sixth Sense) | Take My Wife, Sleaze |
235 | December 19, 1999 | I will not sell my kidney on eBay (this is impossible now, since eBay prohibits the sale of organs) | Grift of the Magi |
236 | January 9, 2000 | I will not create art from dung | Little Big Mom |
237 | January 16, 2000 | I will stop phoning it in | Faith Off |
238 | January 23, 2000 | Class clown is not a paid position | The Mansion Family |
239 | February 06, 2000 | Substitute teachers are not scabs | Saddlesore Galactica |
240 | February 13, 2000 | My suspension was not mutual | Alone Again, Natura-Diddily |
241 | February 20, 2000 | A belch is not an oral report | Missionary: Impossible |
242 | February 27, 2000 | Dodgeball stops at the gym door | Pygmoelian |
243 | March 19, 2000 | Non-flammable is not a challenge | Bart to the Future |
244 | April 09, 2000 | I was not touched"there"by an angel | Days of Wine and D'oh'ses |
245 | April 30, 2000 | I am not here on a fartball scholarship | Kill the Alligator and Run |
246 | May 07, 2000 | I will not dance on anyone's grave | Last Tap Dance in Springfield |
247 | May 14, 2000 | I cannot hire a substitute student | It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge |
248 | May 21, 2000 | "I will not obey the voices in my head" | Behind the Laughter |
Season 12
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
249 | November 01, 2000 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror XI |
250 | November 05, 2000 | I will not plant subliminal messagores (aired two days before the 2000 U.S. presidential election) | A Tale of Two Springfields |
251 | November 12, 2000 | I will not surprise the incontinent | Insane Clown Poppy |
252 | November 19, 2000 | I am not the acting president (aired during the legal contest over the results of the 2000 presidential election) | Lisa the Tree Hugger |
253 | November 26, 2000 | I was not the sixth Beatle | Homer vs. Dignity |
254 | December 03, 2000 | I will only provide a urine sample when asked | The Computer Wore Menace Shoes |
255 | December 10, 2000 | The nurse is not dealing | The Great Money Caper |
256 | December 17, 2000 | Science class should not end in tragedy(During the episode, Skinner writes "I ain't not a dorkus") | Skinner's Sense of Snow |
257 | January 07, 2001 | Network TV is not dead | HOMR |
258 | January 14, 2001 | I will not "let the dogs out" (reference a song made popular by the Baha Men) | Pokey Mom |
259 | February 04, 2001 | I will not hide the teacher's medication | Worst Episode Ever |
260 | February 11, 2001 | I will not publish the principal's credit report | Tennis the Menace |
261 | February 18, 2001 | The hamster did not have a "full life" | Day of the Jackanapes |
262 | February 25, 2001 | I will not buy a presidential pardon(This refers to the Bill Clinton pardons controversy, involving 140 pardons he issued on his last day in office.) | New Kids on the Blecch |
263 | March 04, 2001 | "Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap | Hungry, Hungry Homer |
264 | March 11, 2001 | I will not scare the vice president(a reference to VP Cheney's heart condition) | Bye Bye Nerdie |
265 | April 01, 2001 | I will not flush evidence | Simpson Safari |
266 | April 29, 2001 | Fire is not the cleanser | Trilogy of Error |
267 | May 06, 2001 | Genetics is not an excuse | I'm Goin' to Praiseland |
268 | May 13, 2001 | Today is not Mothra's Day (This episode aired on Mother's Day.) | Children of a Lesser Clod |
269 | May 20, 2001 | I should not be twenty-one by now (Referring to the fact that Bart has been the age of ten for over eleven years.) | Simpsons Tall Tales |
Season 13
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
270 | November 6, 2001 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror XII |
271 | November 11, 2001 | Nobody reads these anymore | The Parent Rap |
272 | November 18, 2001 | A burp in a jar is not a science project | Homer the Moe |
273 | December 2, 2001 | Fun does not have a size | A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love |
274 | December 9, 2001 | I am not Charlie Brown on acid (reference to how critics described "South Park") | The Blunder Years |
275 | December 16, 2001 | I do not have a cereal named after me (In fact, he did: "Bart Simpson Peanut Butter Chocolate Crunch". In the UK they released "Bart Simpson's No Problem-os) | She of Little Faith |
276 | January 6, 2002 | no gag | Brawl in the Family |
277 | January 20, 2002 | no gag | Sweets and Sour Marge |
278 | January 27, 2002 | no gag | Jaws Wired Shut |
279 | February 10, 2002 | I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers(A reference to his Butterfinger commercials and how, after a blatant jab two episodes earlier, the ads had been canceled.) | Half-Decent Proposal |
280 | February 17, 2002 | The Giving Tree is not a chump | The Bart Wants What It Wants |
281 | February 24, 2002 | Making Milhouse cry is not a science project | The Lastest Gun in the West |
282 | March 10, 2002 | no gag | The Old Man and the Key |
283 | March 17, 2002 | Vampire is not a career choice | Tales from the Public Domain |
284 | March 31, 2002 | no gag | Blame It on Lisa |
285 | April 7, 2002 | no gag | Weekend at Burnsie's |
286 | April 21, 2002 | no gag | Gump Roast |
287 | April 28, 2002 | no gag | I Am Furious Yellow |
288 | May 5, 2002 | I will never lie about being cancelled again (a reference to Matt Groening spreading a rumor that The Simpsons was going to end its run after this season) | The Sweetest Apu |
289 | May 12, 2002 | no gag | Little Girl in the Big Ten |
290 | May 19, 2002 | no gag | The Frying Game |
291 | May 22, 2002 | no gag | Papa's Got a Brand New Badge |
Season 14
Season 15
Season 16
Season 17
Season 18
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
379 | September 10, 2006 | no gag | "The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer" |
380 | September 17, 2006 | no gag | "Jazzy and the Pussycats" |
381 | September 24, 2006 | no gag'(But during the episode, Skinner writes "A baby beat me up" when Bart begins torturing Skinner by taking advantage of his peanut allergy) | "Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em" |
382 | November 5, 2006 | no gag | "Treehouse of Horror XVII" |
383 | November 12, 2006 | We are not all naked under our clothes | "G.I. D'oh" |
384 | November 19, 2006 | no gag | "Moe'N'a Lisa" |
385 | November 26, 2006 | no gag | "Ice Cream of Margie (With the Light Blue Hair)" |
386 | December 10, 2006 | no gag | "The Haw-Hawed Couple" |
387 | December 17, 2006 | Frankincense is not a monster | "Kill Gil: Vols. 1 & 2" |
388 | January 7, 2007 | no gag | "The Wife Aquatic" |
389 | January 28, 2007 | no gag | "Revenge is a Dish Best Served Three Times" |
390 | February 11, 2007 | no gag'(But during the episode, Bart writes "So long suckers") | "Little Big Girl" |
391 | February 18, 2007 | no gag | "Springfield Up" |
392 | March 4, 2007 | no gag | "Yokel Chords" |
393 | March 11, 2007 | no gag | "Rome-old and Juli-eh" |
394 | March 25, 2007 | Global Warming did not eat my homework | "Homerazzi" |
395 | April 22, 2007 | no gag | "Marge Gamer" |
396 | April 29, 2007 | no gag | "The Boys of Bummer" |
397 | May 6, 2007 | I will not look up how much teacher makes | "Crook and Ladder" |
398 | May 13, 2007 | Pearls are not oyster barf | "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot" |
399 | May 20, 2007 | no gag'(special 24-style opening) | "24 Minutes" |
400 | May 20, 2007 | no gag'(normal opening sequence replaced with a black screen that says "20 years ago", followed by a full showing of the Tracy Ullman Show Simpsons short "Family Portrait") | "You Kent Always Say What You Want" |
Season 19
Season 20
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
421 | September 28, 2008 | no gag | "Sex, Pies And Idiot Scrapes" |
422 | October 5, 2008 | Teachers diet is working. | "Lost Verizon" |
423 | October 19, 2008 | There is no such month as Rocktober | "Double, Double Boy In Trouble" |
424 | November 2, 2008 | None | "Treehouse of Horror XIX" |
425 | November 9, 2008 | I did not see Teacher siphoning gas. | "Dangerous Curves" |
426 | November 16, 2008 | No gag | "Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words" |
427 | November 30, 2008 | Prosperity is just around the corner. | "Mypods and Boomsticks" |
428 | December 7, 2008 | Jesus is not mad His birthday is on Christmas | "The Burns and the Bees" |
429 | January 25, 2009 | I Will Not use Permanet ink on the Chalkboard | " Lisa The Drama Queen" |
430 | Febuary 15, 2009 |
HDTV is Worth Every Cent (The episode was the first one in HD) |
"Take My Life, Please" |
431 | March 1, 2009 | "March Madness" is Not an Excuse for Missing School | "How the Test Was Won" |
432 | March 8, 2009 | "I will not have fun with educational toys." | "No Loan Again, Naturally |
433 | MArch 15, 2009 | No gag | "Gone Maggie Gone" |
434 | March 22, 2009 | "Four leaf clovers are not mutant freaks." | "In the Name of the Grandfather" |
435 | March 29, 2009 | "My piggy bank is not entitled to TARP funds." | "Wedding for Disaster" |
436 | April 5, 2009 | No gag | "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe" |
437 | April 19, 2009 | "I will not mock teacher's outdated cell phone." | "The Good, the Sad and the Drugly" |
438 | April 26, 2009 | "I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy." | "Father Knows Worst" |
439 | May 3, 2009 | No gag | "Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh" |
440 | May 10, 2009 | No gag | "Four Great Women and a Manicure" |
441 | May 17, 2009 | "It's 'Facebook,' not 'Assbook.'" | "Coming to Homerica" |
Season 21
The Simpsons Movie
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
1 | July 27, 2007 | I will not illegally download this movie | The Simpsons Movie |