Difference between revisions of "List of chalkboard gags"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
|36 | |36 | ||
− | | | + | |September 19, 1991 |
− | |I am not a | + | |I am not a dentist |
|[[Stark Raving Dad]] | |[[Stark Raving Dad]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|37 | |37 | ||
− | | | + | |September 26, 1991 |
− | |Spitwads are not | + | |Spitwads are not free speech |
|[[Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington]] | |[[Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
|38 | |38 | ||
− | | | + | |October 3, 1991 |
− | |Nobody likes | + | |Nobody likes sunburn slappers |
|[[When Flanders Failed]] | |[[When Flanders Failed]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|39 | |39 | ||
− | | | + | |October 10, 1991 |
|High explosives and school don't mix ''(And during the episode:'' I will not bribe Principal Skinner'')'' | |High explosives and school don't mix ''(And during the episode:'' I will not bribe Principal Skinner'')'' | ||
|[[Bart the Murderer]] | |[[Bart the Murderer]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
|40 | |40 | ||
− | | | + | |October 17, 1991 |
− | |I will not squeak | + | |I will not squeak chalk''(Bart makes the chalk squeak as he writes this.)'' |
|[[Homer Defined]] | |[[Homer Defined]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|41 | |41 | ||
− | | | + | |October 24, 1991 |
|I will finish what I sta ''(written only once)'' | |I will finish what I sta ''(written only once)'' | ||
|[[Like Father, Like Clown]] | |[[Like Father, Like Clown]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
|42 | |42 | ||
− | | | + | |October 31, 1991 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Treehouse of Horror II]] | |[[Treehouse of Horror II]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|43 | |43 | ||
− | | | + | |November 7, 1991 |
− | |"Bart Bucks" are not | + | |"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender |
|[[Lisa's Pony]] | |[[Lisa's Pony]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
|44 | |44 | ||
− | | | + | |November 14, 1991 |
− | |I will not fake | + | |I will not fake rabies |
|[[Saturdays of Thunder]] | |[[Saturdays of Thunder]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|45 | |45 | ||
− | | | + | |November 21, 1991 |
|Underwear should be worn on the inside | |Underwear should be worn on the inside | ||
|[[Flaming Moe's]] | |[[Flaming Moe's]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
|46 | |46 | ||
− | | | + | |December 5, 1991 |
|The Christmas Pageant does not stink | |The Christmas Pageant does not stink | ||
|[[Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk]] | |[[Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|47 | |47 | ||
− | | | + | |December 26, 1991 |
|I will not torment the emotionally frail | |I will not torment the emotionally frail | ||
|[[I Married Marge]] | |[[I Married Marge]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
|48 | |48 | ||
− | | | + | |January 9, [[1992]] |
− | |I will not carve | + | |I will not carve gods |
|[[Radio Bart]] | |[[Radio Bart]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|49 | |49 | ||
− | | | + | |January 23, 1992 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Lisa the Greek]] | |[[Lisa the Greek]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
|50 | |50 | ||
− | | | + | |February 6, 1992 |
|I will not spank others | |I will not spank others | ||
|[[Homer Alone]] | |[[Homer Alone]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|51 | |51 | ||
− | | | + | |February 13, 1992 |
|''no gag'' | |''no gag'' | ||
|[[Bart the Lover]] | |[[Bart the Lover]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
|52 | |52 | ||
− | | | + | |February 20, 1992 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not aim for the head''(In this episode, a major character was hit in the head by a pitch during a baseball game.)'' |
|[[Homer at the Bat]] | |[[Homer at the Bat]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|53 | |53 | ||
− | | | + | |February 27, 1992 |
− | |I will not | + | |I will not barf unless I'm sick ''(And during the episode:'' I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty'')'' |
|[[Separate Vocations]] | |[[Separate Vocations]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
|54 | |54 | ||
− | | | + | |March 12, 1992 |
|I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge | |I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge | ||
|[[Dog of Death]] | |[[Dog of Death]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|55 | |55 | ||
− | | | + | |March 26, 1992 |
− | |I will not conduct my own | + | |I will not conduct my own fire drills |
|[[Colonel Homer]] | |[[Colonel Homer]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
|56 | |56 | ||
− | | | + | |April 9, 1992 |
|Funny noises are not funny | |Funny noises are not funny | ||
|[[Black Widower]] | |[[Black Widower]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|57 | |57 | ||
− | | | + | |April 23, 1992 |
− | |I will not spin the | + | |I will not spin the turtle |
|[[The Otto Show]] | |[[The Otto Show]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | |-style="background-color: #F7F0F5" | ||
|58 | |58 | ||
− | | | + | |May 7, 1992 |
− | |I will not snap | + | |I will not snap bras |
|[[Bart's Friend Falls in Love]] | |[[Bart's Friend Falls in Love]] | ||
|-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | |-style="background-color: #FFFFFF" | ||
|59 | |59 | ||
− | | | + | |August 27, 1992 |
− | |I will not fake | + | |I will not fake seizures |
|[[Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?]] | |[[Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?]] | ||
|} | |} | ||
− | |||
== [[The Simpsons (season 4)|Season 4]] == | == [[The Simpsons (season 4)|Season 4]] == |
Revision as of 18:44, February 17, 2010
The following is a list of chalkboard gags seen on The Simpsons.
Contents
Season 1
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
1 | December 17, 1989 | no gag | Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire |
2 | January 14, 1990 | I will not waste chalk | Bart the Genius |
3 | January 21, 1990 | I will not skateboard in the halls | Homer's Odyssey |
4 | January 28, 1990 | I will not burp in class | There's No Disgrace Like Home |
5 | February 4, 1990 | no gag - shortened opening due to time | Bart the General |
6 | February 11, 1990 | I will not instigate revolution | Moaning Lisa |
7 | February 18, 1990 | I will not draw naked ladies in class | Call of the Simpsons |
8 | February 25, 1990 | I did not see Elvis | The Telltale Head |
9 | March 18, 1990 | no gag - shortened opening due to time | Life on the Fast Lane |
10 | March 25, 1990 | I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" | Homer's Night Out |
11 | April 15, 1990 | Garlic gum is not funny | The Crepes of Wrath |
12 | April 29, 1990 | They are laughing at me, not with me | Krusty Gets Busted |
13 | May 13, 1990 | I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom | Some Enchanted Evening |
Season 2
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
14 | October 11, 1990 | I will not encourage others to fly (And during the episode: I will not fake my way through life) | Bart Gets an F |
15 | October 18, 1990 | Tar is not a plaything | Simpson and Delilah |
16 | October 25, 1990 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror |
17 | November 1, 1990 | I will not Xerox my butt (Alternate chalkboard gag aired on June 2, 1992 rerun - "It's 'potato', not 'potatoe'") | Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish |
18 | November 8, 1990 | I will not trade pants with others | Dancin' Homer |
19 | November 15, 1990 | I am not a 32 year old woman (though at the time, the voice of Bart, Nancy Cartwright, was) | Dead Putting Society |
20 | November 22, 1990 | I will not do that thing with my tongue | Bart vs. Thanksgiving |
21 | December 6, 1990 | I will not drive the principal's car (similar chalkboard gag in The Months, with the principal being replaced by December) | Bart the Daredevil |
22 | December 20, 1990 | I will not pledge allegiance to Bart | Itchy & Scratchy & Marge |
23 | January 10, 1991 | I will not sell school property | Bart Gets Hit by a Car |
24 | January 24, 1991 | I will not cut corners (This is written for 3 lines. The remaining lines are all "ditto" quotation marks.) | One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish |
25 | January 31, 1991 | I will not get very far with this attitude | The Way We Was |
26 | February 7, 1991 | I will not make flatulent noises in class | Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment |
27 | February 14, 1991 | I will not belch the national anthem | Principal Charming |
28 | February 21, 1991 | I will not sell land in Florida | Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? |
29 | March 7, 1991 | I will not sell school property | Bart's Dog Gets an F |
30 | March 28, 1991 | I will not grease the monkey bars | Old Money |
31 | April 11, 1991 | I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment | Brush with Greatness |
32 | April 25, 1991 | no gag | Lisa's Substitute |
33 | May 2, 1991 | I will not do anything bad ever again | The War of the Simpsons |
34 | May 9, 1991 | I will not show off (This was written in Blackletter.) | Three Men and a Comic Book |
35 | July 11, 1991 | I will not sleep through my education | Blood Feud |
Season 3
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
36 | September 19, 1991 | I am not a dentist | Stark Raving Dad |
37 | September 26, 1991 | Spitwads are not free speech | Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington |
38 | October 3, 1991 | Nobody likes sunburn slappers | When Flanders Failed |
39 | October 10, 1991 | High explosives and school don't mix (And during the episode: I will not bribe Principal Skinner) | Bart the Murderer |
40 | October 17, 1991 | I will not squeak chalk(Bart makes the chalk squeak as he writes this.) | Homer Defined |
41 | October 24, 1991 | I will finish what I sta (written only once) | Like Father, Like Clown |
42 | October 31, 1991 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror II |
43 | November 7, 1991 | "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender | Lisa's Pony |
44 | November 14, 1991 | I will not fake rabies | Saturdays of Thunder |
45 | November 21, 1991 | Underwear should be worn on the inside | Flaming Moe's |
46 | December 5, 1991 | The Christmas Pageant does not stink | Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk |
47 | December 26, 1991 | I will not torment the emotionally frail | I Married Marge |
48 | January 9, 1992 | I will not carve gods | Radio Bart |
49 | January 23, 1992 | no gag | Lisa the Greek |
50 | February 6, 1992 | I will not spank others | Homer Alone |
51 | February 13, 1992 | no gag | Bart the Lover |
52 | February 20, 1992 | I will not aim for the head(In this episode, a major character was hit in the head by a pitch during a baseball game.) | Homer at the Bat |
53 | February 27, 1992 | I will not barf unless I'm sick (And during the episode: I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty) | Separate Vocations |
54 | March 12, 1992 | I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge | Dog of Death |
55 | March 26, 1992 | I will not conduct my own fire drills | Colonel Homer |
56 | April 9, 1992 | Funny noises are not funny | Black Widower |
57 | April 23, 1992 | I will not spin the turtle | The Otto Show |
58 | May 7, 1992 | I will not snap bras | Bart's Friend Falls in Love |
59 | August 27, 1992 | I will not fake seizures | Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes? |
Season 4
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
60 | September 24, 1992 | This punishment is not boring and pointless | Kamp Krusty |
61 | October 01, 1992 | My name is not "Dr. Death" | A Streetcar Named Marge |
62 | October 08, 1992 | I will not defame New Orleans(This was due to complaints regarding the previous episode's song about New Orleans.) | Homer the Heretic |
63 | October 15, 1992 | I will not prescribemedication | Lisa the Beauty Queen |
64 | October 29, 1992 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror III |
65 | November 03, 1992 | I will not bury the new kid (During the episode, Marge writes "I will try to raise a better child.") | Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie |
66 | November 05, 1992 | I will not teach others to fly | Marge Gets a Job |
67 | November 12, 1992 | I will not bring sheep to class | New Kid on the Block |
68 | November 19, 1992 | A burp is not an answer | Mr. Plow |
69 | December 03, 1992 | Teacher is not a leper | Lisa's First Word |
70 | December 17, 1992 | Coffee is not for kids (Each line becomes less legible and more scrawled.) | Homer's Triple Bypass |
71 | January 14, 1993 | I will not eat things for money | Marge vs. the Monorail |
72 | January 21, 1993 | I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call | Selma's Choice |
73 | February 04, 1993 | The principal's toupée is not a frisbee | Brother from the Same Planet |
74 | February 11, 1993 | I will not call the principal "spud head" | I Love Lisa |
75 | February 18, 1993 | Goldfish don't bounce | Duffless |
76 | March 11, 1993 | Mud is not one of the 4 food groups | Last Exit to Springfield |
77 | April 01, 1993 | No one is interested in my underpants | So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show |
78 | April 15, 1993 | I will not sell miracle cures | The Front |
79 | April 29, 1993 | I will return the seeing-eye dog | Whacking Day |
80 | May 06, 1993 | I do not have diplomatic immunity | Marge in Chains |
81 | May 13, 1993 | I will not charge admission to the bathroom | Krusty Gets Kancelled |
Season 5
Season 6
Season 7
Season 8
Season 9
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
179 | September 21, 1997 | no gag | The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson |
180 | September 28, 1997 | no gag | The Principal and the Pauper |
181 | October 19, 1997 | I no longer want my MTV(reference to the lyrics of the Dire Straits song Money for Nothing, and a possible jab at MTV's declining quality due to lack of music videos and music-related programming) | Lisa's Sax |
182 | October 26, 1997 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror VIII |
183 | November 02, 1997 | Everyone is tired of that Richard Gerestory | The Cartridge Family |
184 | November 09, 1997 | I did not invent Irish dancing | Bart Star |
185 | November 16, 1997 | no gag | The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons |
186 | November 23, 1997 | I will not tease Fatty | Lisa the Skeptic |
187 | December 07, 1997 | There was no Roman god named "Fartacus" | Realty Bites |
188 | December 21, 1997 | Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related | Miracle on Evergreen Terrace |
189 | January 04, 1998 | no gag | All Singing, All Dancing |
190 | January 11, 1998 | no gag | Bart Carny |
191 | February 08, 1998 | Shooting paintballs is not an art form | The Joy of Sect |
192 | February 15, 1998 | no gag | Das Bus |
193 | February 22, 1998 | Pain is not the cleanser (Surprisingly, Ned Flanders shouted "Pain is the cleanser!" as he yanked his moustache in the episode Home Away from Homer.) | The Last Temptation of Krust |
194 | March 01, 1998 | Silly string is not a nasal spray | Dumbbell Indemnity |
195 | March 08, 1998 | no gag | Lisa the Simpson |
196 | March 22, 1998 | I was told not to do this | This Little Wiggy |
197 | March 29, 1998 | My butt does not deserve a website | Simpson Tide |
198 | April 05, 1998 | I will not demand what I'm worth (This is a reference to the voice cast's recent demands for higher pay.) | The Trouble With Trillions |
199 | April 19, 1998 | no gag | Girly Edition |
200 | April 26, 1998 | I will not mess with the opening credits(This was actually the couch gag for this episode; the rest of the family runs into the classroom to find Bart already there writing on the board.) | Trash of the Titans |
201 | May 03, 1998 | no gag | King of the Hill |
202 | May 10, 1998 | I am not the new Dalai Lama | Lost Our Lisa |
203 | May 17, 1998 | I was not the inspiration for "Kramer" (This episode aired three days after the last episode of "Seinfeld".) | Natural Born Kissers |
Season 10
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
204 | August 23, 1998 | no gag | Lard of the Dance |
205 | September 20, 1998 | I will not file frivolous lawsuits | The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace |
206 | September 27, 1998 | no gag | Bart the Mother |
207 | October 25, 1998 | The Simpsons Halloween Special IX (This is written in blood with a paintbrush.) | Treehouse of Horror IX |
208 | November 08, 1998 | "butt.com" is not my E-mail address(This was changed to "butt.butt" in later airings since butt.com was revealed to be a real website. Butt.com still appeared in syndication, however.) | When You Dish upon a Star |
209 | November 15, 1998 | No one cares what my definition of "is" is | D'oh-in in the Wind |
210 | November 22, 1998 | I will not scream for ice cream | Lisa Gets an "A" |
211 | December 06, 1998 | I am not a licensed hairstylist | Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble" |
212 | December 20, 1998 | "The President did it" is not an excuse (This aired a day after impeachment proceedings started against Bill Clinton) | Mayored to the Mob |
213 | January 10, 1999 | My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld | Viva Ned Flanders |
214 | January 17, 1999 | Sherri does not "got back" | Wild Barts Can't Be Broken |
215 | January 31, 1999 | I will not do "the dirty bird" (This episode aired the night of Super Bowl XXXIII, in which the Atlanta Falcons, for whom "The Dirty Bird" was a signature dance/celebration, played.) | Sunday, Cruddy Sunday |
216 | February 07, 1999 | No one cares about my sciatica | Homer to the Max |
217 | February 14, 1999 | Hillbillies are people too | I'm with Cupid |
218 | February 21, 1999 | Grammar is not a time of waste | Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers" |
219 | February 28, 1999 | I do not have diplomatic immunity (Taken from 9F20) | Make Room for Lisa |
220 | March 28, 1999 | It does not suck to be you (A reference to a Prozzäk song) | Maximum Homerdrive |
221 | April 04, 1999 | I cannot absolve sins (And during Lisa's dream in the episode: I will not deface using hieroglyphics where possible) | Simpsons Bible Stories |
222 | April 11, 1999 | A trained ape could not teach gym | Mom and Pop Art |
223 | April 25, 1999 | Loose teeth don't need my help | The Old Man and the "C" Student |
224 | May 02, 1999 | I have neither been there nor done that | Monty Can't Buy Me Love |
225 | May 09, 1999 | No one wants to hear from my armpits (This is from 3F01) | They Saved Lisa's Brain |
226 | May 16, 1999 | I'm so very tired (At this point, Bart had been doing these gags for ten seasons.) | Thirty Minutes over Tokyo |
Season 11
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
227 | September 26, 1999 | Fridays are not "pants optional" (In Australia, Hamish and Andy (a comedy duo) have decided that Friday should be Pants off Friday.) | Beyond Blunderdome |
228 | October 03, 1999 | Pork is not a verb(the irony is that "pork" is a verb, albeit a vulgar slang term, meaning "to have sexual intercourse with") | Brother's Little Helper |
229 | October 24, 1999 | I am not the last Don(Possibly a reference to the 1997 TV minseries of the same name, which starred Joe Mantegna, voice of recurring Simpsons character Fat Tony) | Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner? |
230 | October 31, 1999 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror X |
231 | November 07, 1999 | I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize | E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt) |
232 | November 14, 1999 | I won't not use no double negatives(since three negatives are used, the sentence is true) | Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder |
233 | November 21, 1999 | Indian burns are not our cultural heritage (This is from 3F05) | Eight Misbehavin' |
234 | November 28, 1999 | I can't see dead people (This is a reference to The Sixth Sense) | Take My Wife, Sleaze |
235 | December 19, 1999 | I will not sell my kidney on eBay (this is impossible now, since eBay prohibits the sale of organs) | Grift of the Magi |
236 | January 9, 2000 | I will not create art from dung | Little Big Mom |
237 | January 16, 2000 | I will stop phoning it in | Faith Off |
238 | January 23, 2000 | Class clown is not a paid position | The Mansion Family |
239 | February 06, 2000 | Substitute teachers are not scabs | Saddlesore Galactica |
240 | February 13, 2000 | My suspension was not mutual | Alone Again, Natura-Diddily |
241 | February 20, 2000 | A belch is not an oral report | Missionary: Impossible |
242 | February 27, 2000 | Dodgeball stops at the gym door | Pygmoelian |
243 | March 19, 2000 | Non-flammable is not a challenge | Bart to the Future |
244 | April 09, 2000 | I was not touched"there"by an angel | Days of Wine and D'oh'ses |
245 | April 30, 2000 | I am not here on a fartball scholarship | Kill the Alligator and Run |
246 | May 07, 2000 | I will not dance on anyone's grave | Last Tap Dance in Springfield |
247 | May 14, 2000 | I cannot hire a substitute student | It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge |
248 | May 21, 2000 | "I will not obey the voices in my head" | Behind the Laughter |
Season 12
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
249 | November 01, 2000 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror XI |
250 | November 05, 2000 | I will not plant subliminal messagores (aired two days before the 2000 U.S. presidential election) | A Tale of Two Springfields |
251 | November 12, 2000 | I will not surprise the incontinent | Insane Clown Poppy |
252 | November 19, 2000 | I am not the acting president (aired during the legal contest over the results of the 2000 presidential election) | Lisa the Tree Hugger |
253 | November 26, 2000 | I was not the sixth Beatle | Homer vs. Dignity |
254 | December 03, 2000 | I will only provide a urine sample when asked | The Computer Wore Menace Shoes |
255 | December 10, 2000 | The nurse is not dealing | The Great Money Caper |
256 | December 17, 2000 | Science class should not end in tragedy(During the episode, Skinner writes "I ain't not a dorkus") | Skinner's Sense of Snow |
257 | January 07, 2001 | Network TV is not dead | HOMR |
258 | January 14, 2001 | I will not "let the dogs out" (reference a song made popular by the Baha Men) | Pokey Mom |
259 | February 04, 2001 | I will not hide the teacher's medication | Worst Episode Ever |
260 | February 11, 2001 | I will not publish the principal's credit report | Tennis the Menace |
261 | February 18, 2001 | The hamster did not have a "full life" | Day of the Jackanapes |
262 | February 25, 2001 | I will not buy a presidential pardon(This refers to the Bill Clinton pardons controversy, involving 140 pardons he issued on his last day in office.) | New Kids on the Blecch |
263 | March 04, 2001 | "Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap | Hungry, Hungry Homer |
264 | March 11, 2001 | I will not scare the vice president(a reference to VP Cheney's heart condition) | Bye Bye Nerdie |
265 | April 01, 2001 | I will not flush evidence | Simpson Safari |
266 | April 29, 2001 | Fire is not the cleanser | Trilogy of Error |
267 | May 06, 2001 | Genetics is not an excuse | I'm Goin' to Praiseland |
268 | May 13, 2001 | Today is not Mothra's Day (This episode aired on Mother's Day.) | Children of a Lesser Clod |
269 | May 20, 2001 | I should not be twenty-one by now (Referring to the fact that Bart has been the age of ten for over eleven years.) | Simpsons Tall Tales |
Season 13
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
270 | November 6, 2001 | no gag | Treehouse of Horror XII |
271 | November 11, 2001 | Nobody reads these anymore | The Parent Rap |
272 | November 18, 2001 | A burp in a jar is not a science project | Homer the Moe |
273 | December 2, 2001 | Fun does not have a size | A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love |
274 | December 9, 2001 | I am not Charlie Brown on acid (reference to how critics described "South Park") | The Blunder Years |
275 | December 16, 2001 | I do not have a cereal named after me (In fact, he did: "Bart Simpson Peanut Butter Chocolate Crunch". In the UK they released "Bart Simpson's No Problem-os) | She of Little Faith |
276 | January 6, 2002 | no gag | Brawl in the Family |
277 | January 20, 2002 | no gag | Sweets and Sour Marge |
278 | January 27, 2002 | no gag | Jaws Wired Shut |
279 | February 10, 2002 | I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers(A reference to his Butterfinger commercials and how, after a blatant jab two episodes earlier, the ads had been canceled.) | Half-Decent Proposal |
280 | February 17, 2002 | The Giving Tree is not a chump | The Bart Wants What It Wants |
281 | February 24, 2002 | Making Milhouse cry is not a science project | The Lastest Gun in the West |
282 | March 10, 2002 | no gag | The Old Man and the Key |
283 | March 17, 2002 | Vampire is not a career choice | Tales from the Public Domain |
284 | March 31, 2002 | no gag | Blame It on Lisa |
285 | April 7, 2002 | no gag | Weekend at Burnsie's |
286 | April 21, 2002 | no gag | Gump Roast |
287 | April 28, 2002 | no gag | I Am Furious Yellow |
288 | May 5, 2002 | I will never lie about being cancelled again (a reference to Matt Groening spreading a rumor that The Simpsons was going to end its run after this season) | The Sweetest Apu |
289 | May 12, 2002 | no gag | Little Girl in the Big Ten |
290 | May 19, 2002 | no gag | The Frying Game |
291 | May 22, 2002 | no gag | Papa's Got a Brand New Badge |
Season 14
Season 15
Season 16
Season 17
Season 18
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
379 | September 10, 2006 | no gag | "The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer" |
380 | September 17, 2006 | no gag | "Jazzy and the Pussycats" |
381 | September 24, 2006 | no gag'(But during the episode, Skinner writes "A baby beat me up" when Bart begins torturing Skinner by taking advantage of his peanut allergy) | "Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em" |
382 | November 5, 2006 | no gag | "Treehouse of Horror XVII" |
383 | November 12, 2006 | We are not all naked under our clothes | "G.I. D'oh" |
384 | November 19, 2006 | no gag | "Moe'N'a Lisa" |
385 | November 26, 2006 | no gag | "Ice Cream of Margie (With the Light Blue Hair)" |
386 | December 10, 2006 | no gag | "The Haw-Hawed Couple" |
387 | December 17, 2006 | Frankincense is not a monster | "Kill Gil: Vols. 1 & 2" |
388 | January 7, 2007 | no gag | "The Wife Aquatic" |
389 | January 28, 2007 | no gag | "Revenge is a Dish Best Served Three Times" |
390 | February 11, 2007 | no gag'(But during the episode, Bart writes "So long suckers") | "Little Big Girl" |
391 | February 18, 2007 | no gag | "Springfield Up" |
392 | March 4, 2007 | no gag | "Yokel Chords" |
393 | March 11, 2007 | no gag | "Rome-old and Juli-eh" |
394 | March 25, 2007 | Global Warming did not eat my homework | "Homerazzi" |
395 | April 22, 2007 | no gag | "Marge Gamer" |
396 | April 29, 2007 | no gag | "The Boys of Bummer" |
397 | May 6, 2007 | I will not look up how much teacher makes | "Crook and Ladder" |
398 | May 13, 2007 | Pearls are not oyster barf | "Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot" |
399 | May 20, 2007 | no gag'(special 24-style opening) | "24 Minutes" |
400 | May 20, 2007 | no gag'(normal opening sequence replaced with a black screen that says "20 years ago", followed by a full showing of the Tracy Ullman Show Simpsons short "Family Portrait") | "You Kent Always Say What You Want" |
Season 19
Season 20
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
421 | September 28, 2008 | no gag | "Sex, Pies And Idiot Scrapes" |
422 | October 5, 2008 | Teachers diet is working. | "Lost Verizon" |
423 | October 19, 2008 | There is no such month as Rocktober | "Double, Double Boy In Trouble" |
424 | November 2, 2008 | None | "Treehouse of Horror XIX" |
425 | November 9, 2008 | I did not see Teacher siphoning gas. | "Dangerous Curves" |
426 | November 16, 2008 | No gag | "Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words" |
427 | November 30, 2008 | Prosperity is just around the corner. | "Mypods and Boomsticks" |
428 | December 7, 2008 | Jesus is not mad His birthday is on Christmas | "The Burns and the Bees" |
429 | January 25, 2009 | I Will Not use Permanet ink on the Chalkboard | " Lisa The Drama Queen" |
430 | Febuary 15, 2009 |
HDTV is Worth Every Cent (The episode was the first one in HD) |
"Take My Life, Please" |
431 | March 1, 2009 | "March Madness" is Not an Excuse for Missing School | "How the Test Was Won" |
432 | March 8, 2009 | "I will not have fun with educational toys." | "No Loan Again, Naturally |
433 | MArch 15, 2009 | No gag | "Gone Maggie Gone" |
434 | March 22, 2009 | "Four leaf clovers are not mutant freaks." | "In the Name of the Grandfather" |
435 | March 29, 2009 | "My piggy bank is not entitled to TARP funds." | "Wedding for Disaster" |
436 | April 5, 2009 | No gag | "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe" |
437 | April 19, 2009 | "I will not mock teacher's outdated cell phone." | "The Good, the Sad and the Drugly" |
438 | April 26, 2009 | "I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy." | "Father Knows Worst" |
439 | May 3, 2009 | No gag | "Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh" |
440 | May 10, 2009 | No gag | "Four Great Women and a Manicure" |
441 | May 17, 2009 | "It's 'Facebook,' not 'Assbook.'" | "Coming to Homerica" |
Season 21
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
442 | September 27, 2009 | "The class hamster isn't just sleeping." | "Homer the Whopper" |
443 | October 4, 2009 | "Chalkboarding is not torture." | "Bart Gets a 'Z'" |
444 | October 11, 2009 | "I am not allergic to long division." | "The Great Wife Hope" |
445 | October 18, 2009 | None | "Treehouse of Horror XX" |
446 | November 15, 2009 | "I do not have the hots for my mom." | "The Devil Wears Nada" |
447 | November 22, 2009 | "Halloween doesn't kick Thanksgiving's ass." | "Pranks and Greens" |
448 | November 29, 2009 | "Teachers' unions are not ruining this country." | "Rednecks and Broomsticks" |
449 | December 13, 2009 | No gag | "O Brother, Where Bart Thou?" |
450 | January 3, 2010 | No gag | "Thursdays with Abie" |
451 | January 10, 2010 | "The world may end in 2012, but this show won't." | "Once Upon a Time in Springfield" |
452 | January 31, 2010 | no gag | "Million Dollar Maybe" |
453 | February 14, 2010 | no gag | "Boy Meets Curl" |
The Simpsons Movie
# | Airdate | Gag | Episode Name |
---|---|---|---|
1 | July 27, 2007 | I will not illegally download this movie | The Simpsons Movie |