Hans Moleman
Hans Moleman
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Character Information
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Hans Moleman is voiced by Dan Castellaneta. He normally appears in a running gag, where he usually suffers unfortunate, nearly always tragic, events.
Contents
Character origins
Matt Groening has claimed that Hans Moleman was inspired by Tex Avery's Droopy Dog, who shares many of Moleman's deadpan and unassuming mannerisms. Originally Hans Moleman was animated as black. Moleman first appeared as a character model in the early seasons, but he looked so shrivelled and unrealistic that he was proclaimed to look like a mole. However, he was used in several episodes and later became a recurring character. According to the episode "Principal Charming", his name was Ralph Melish, which is a reference to the Monty Python sketch "The adventures of Ralph Melish: Hot Dog and Knickers" from The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief. The fact that he frequently has something unfortunate happen to him is similar to Kenny McCormick on the television show South Park, who, in the first five seasons, died in nearly every episode. He has died eight times.
Biography
Hans Moleman is the retconned name of the character. He is a 4 ft 4 in, 140 lb mole-like man with extremely bad luck. Although apparently elderly, he claims to be only 31 years old (his driver's license says he was born August 2, 1961), but due to his heavy drinking, he appears much older. He has cataracts and is almost entirely blind (which has severely impaired his reading ability) and has used medical marijuana. He carries a brown cane with him everywhere, which has once been shown to contain a hidden sword within it.
Hans usually drives a 1977 AMC Gremlin, although in "Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers"" he drives a 1995 Ford Contour. (In "Treehouse of Horror IV", when Bart tells Otto Mann about a monstrous gremlin on the side of the bus, Otto mistakes Moleman's AMC Gremlin vehicle for Bart's claims, and rams it off the road - it veers towards a tree, but stops at a perfect distance, which then only leads the car to exploding, parodying the vehicle's alleged shoddiness), When the Department of Motor Vehicles (where Patty and Selma Bouvier work) is shown, Moleman is often getting his driver's license approved or voided.
His home address is 920 Oak Grove, Springfield, USA 90701. (In reality, 90701 is the zip code for Artesia, California.) He has also been seen living at the Springfield Retirement Castle.
Careers
He runs an early morning radio show, on Springfield's jazz station KJAZZ-FM, in which he introduces himself as "This is Moleman in the Morning, Good Moleman to you". One of his other jobs was driving a truck filled with sugar (which he subsequently flipped onto its side, spilling its contents, much to Homer's delight.) He is often seen driving other types of trucks as well. In another episode ("Homer's Triple Bypass"), he is seen transporting the birthplace of Edgar Allan Poe in a truck. He also teaches an orange-eating class at the Adult Learning Centre in Springfield. On another occasion, it is implied that he works at a bird sanctuary, as he has to order a bird seed bell ("No, that's too big"). He once worked as a postal worker. He once worked as a janitor at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant and received a severe head wound ("Oh no, my brains.") from Mr. Burns when Moleman asked Burns for seventeen dollars for a push-broom rebristling; Burns, high on ether, mistook him for the Lucky Charms leprechaun and went to his skull with a power drill. He has also been seen representing a Solar Power company in The Last Temptation of Homer, and in Bart of Darkness he remarks (while looking at the sun) "You're certainly doing your job today."
Accidents
Hans has escaped death innumerable times, usually highly improbably. He survived his car blowing up, catching on fire due to the powerful magnifying effect of his glasses, Montgomery Burns using a hand drill on his head, capital punishment (in a local jail) after Homer eats his last meal, being buried alive, and being engulfed by the "anti-escape bubble" that was attempting to catch Marge. Many times people will totally disregard him, usually leading to something like death, or simply imprisonment, but since he appears, even after "dying", those later appearances could indicate he survived. He was also once run over (under the tires) by Homer Simpson driving his car.
He has also had several accidents where he was not severely injured. He further angered the crowd at Bart and Lisa's junior hockey final because he fell down the steps then shouted 'We paid for blood!'. He also crashed his 1959 Cadillac into the side of Springfield's Planet Hype restaurant (which Marge mistook for a clever decoration).
Deaths, Injuries, Depressions, and Losses
- "Black Widower"
- He is having trouble at a test in The Springfield DMV
- "Homer's Triple Bypass"
- Hans is driving a truck with a house (the birthplace of Edgar Allan Poe) on the back. Homer runs him off the road and his truck bursts into flames.
- "Selma's Choice"
- After a messed up date with Selma he gets kicked out of her car and is dropped of in a random place that is not his house.
- "Treehouse of Horror IV"
- Otto runs him off the road in the school bus, after Bart says there is a gremlin on the side of the bus (Moleman was driving his AMC Gremlin) . His car stops inches from a tree, then after a second, blows up.
- "Boy-Scoutz N the Hood "
- He draws an improbably large knife from his cane to defend himself from Moe, only to tip over due to its severe weight
- "The Last Temptation of Homer"
- Hans was knocked out at the power convention
- "Burns' Heir"
- After Homer and Marge hire a professional brainwasher to win back Bart from Mr. Burns, Moleman is abducted and brainwashed instead. He is not deprogrammed by the end of the episode, still believing that he is Bart Simpson.
- "Bart of Darkness"
- Hans raises his glasses on a hot day, the sun's beam magnifies through the lenses and sets him on fire.
- "Lisa's Rival"
- Homer sees that Hans has crashed a truck of sugar. Sending him to phone to call for help, Homer steals the sugar
- "Itchy & Scratchy Land"
- When chaos breaks out at Itchy & Scratchy Land, Marge says they should have gone to the bird sanctuary. However, the sanctuary is even more chaotic. Hans is in a phone booth (being attacked by The Birds), asking for a large amount of bird seed.
- "Lisa on Ice"
- Hans falls over at the peewee hockey match
- "A Star Is Burns"
- For a film contest, he enters a video in which he is hit in the groin by a football.
- "The Springfield Connection"
- Seen at Springfield prison, about to be sent to the electric chair.
- "Mother Simpson"
- He is in a coffin at the graveyard, not wanting to cause a fuss.
- "Team Homer"
- After asking a drugged up Burns for new bristles for his broom, Burns believes he is a leprechaun and proceeds to get his "lucky charms" by drilling into his head. Moleman's now famous response: "Oh no, My brains."
- "22 Short Films about Springfield"
- Hans is locked inside the Kwik-E-Mart for four minutes while Apu dashes out to attend a party. On Apu's return, Hans chides him: "You took four minutes of my life and I want them back." However, he notes that he would only waste them anyway.
- "Burns Baby Burns"
- When Homer and Larry Burns are hiding in the movie theater he is the only ohter person and is distracted by their noises and gets popcorn thrown in his face.
- "The Twisted World of Marge Simpson"
- His hot dog cart is destroyed during a montage of snack businesses being strong-armed by the Springfield Mafia.
- "My Sister, My Sitter"
- Hans is in the car which is stuck in the wall of Planet Hype. Marge mistakens it for a decoration.
- "The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase"
- His cataracts are blinding him.
- "Treehouse of Horror VIII"
- Hans might have died in the explosion
- "The Joy of Sect"
- Eaten by Rover
- "Dumbbell Indemnity"
- In prison, Homer knocks him out with a book titled "How To Tunnel Out of Prison".
- "Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble""
- Homer runs away from the hospital. Hans is driving a car-transporting truck and almost ran over Homer. Hans manages to stop the truck, but a car from the truck fell over Homer
- "Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?"
- Hans runs a stall called "Moleman's Gruel". When Lisa tells Homer that the poisoned éclair is low fat, Homer throws it into Hans' gruel, which explodes.
- "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"
- Moe's "terrible, terrible secret" is keeping a starving Hans Moleman locked up in the basement of his bar.
- "Children of a Lesser Clod"
- When Marge goes to identify a body at the morgue, she finds that it is Hans. He is alive and well, but the coroner ignores Hans' cries as 'air escaping'.
- "Simpsons Tall Tales"
- Lisa (as Connie Johnny Appleseed) believes a tree is calling to her. However, it was actually Hans Moleman, drowning in quicksand.
- "The Parent Rap"
- Near the end of the episode, as the Simpsons are driving away from the courthouse (when Bart was ultimately dismissed from the accusation against him), Homer accidentally drives over Hans when stopping by a traffic light. Homer then drives away pretending that nothing happened. Moleman is then seen getting up and continuing to cross the street.
- "Little Girl in the Big Ten"
- Pretends to be a college freshman and attends lectures, just so he can find a place to sit down.
- "Three Gays of the Condo"
- Hans is in a gay club under the mistaken belief that he was at his army reunion. He is taken away by a homosexual man in a tight army uniform, as the man seemingly outranks Hans as a 'Colonel'.
- "Treehouse of Horror XIV"
- Killed at Baseball game by the Homer Reaper
- "'Tis the Fifteenth Season"
- The townspeople see a bright star in the sky and believe it is a miracle. In fact, it was a flare fired by Hans who was trapped in the snow. Some wolves come up behind him, but Hans mistakenly believes they are rescue dogs.
- "Treehouse of Horror XV"
- After a head injury, Ned Flanders gains the ability to foresee the death of anyone he touches. He catches Hans after Hans falls from some power-lines (having been tossed there by bullies), foresees Hans being eaten by alligators and drops him in horror, accidentally into an open manhole where he is eaten by alligators, to which Hans says "Another set back..."
- "Treehouse of Horror XVI"
- On Halloween, a witch turns everyone in Springfield into their costumes. Hans is turned into a mole, and he says "Oh, this isn't fair, I wasn't wearing a costume."; a visual pun referring to his surname.
- "Million Dollar Abie"
- Faints from a heartattack.
- "Treehouse of Horror XVII"
- Possibly gets his brain and heart sucked out by Kang and Kodos.
- "You Kent Always Say What You Want"
- Marge crawls under his truck.
- "The Simpsons Movie"
- When Homer is about to pollute Lake Springfield Hans is holding a sign saying "You Suck" only to have Homer run over him.
- "The Simpsons Game"
- It is possible to beat him.
- "Treehouse of Horror XVIII": He is caught in one of the kid's pranks.
