- "People, we're in danger of losing our funding. America isn't interested in space exploration any more."
- ―Jack Stillwater[src]
| Jack Stillwater
| Character Information
Jack Stillwater is an executive at NASA.
After seeing TV ratings fall for space launches, Jack Stillwater got together a panel of scientists to figure out a way to get ratings up again. After seeing clips from TV shows, they decided to bring in "blue collar slobs" as astronauts. At that moment, Homer rang up NASA to complain about boring space launches. Stillwater then decided that their search was over and went to Moe's Tavern.
At Moe's, Homer told Stillwater and Dr. Babcock that Barney rang NASA, not him. When Homer heard that Barney would become an astronaut, Homer told them that it was him, and Stillwater took both Homer and Barney. At a press conference, Stillwater got annoyed at the questions asking if it was a joke and told the reporters to stop asking that question. Stillwater and Babcock then put Homer and Barney through training.
During training, Stillwater introduced Race Banyon and Buzz Aldrin to Homer and Barney. When Homer mentioned that he could still win the swimsuit competition, Stillwater told Homer that there was no swimsuit competition. Later, Stillwater announced Barney as the winner and gave them celebratory non-alcoholic champagne, which made Barney go crazy. Stillwater then told Homer that he was the winner by default.
At launch control, Stillwater was pleased that the launch had the highest ratings in recent years. He then asked how the spacecraft was doing, only to be told that all the instruments measured TV ratings. When ants and potato chips were floating around the spacecraft, Stillwater got an idea from James Taylor and told the astronauts to blow the hatch open to vent out the ants. The shuttle then managed to get safely back to Earth.