Difference between revisions of "Abraham Simpson"
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Revision as of 13:04, September 9, 2007
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Abraham Jasper Simpson
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Character Information
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Abraham "Grampa" Jasper Simpson, who was once voted the most handsome boy in Albany, New York, is the father of Homer J. Simpson. Abe is a retired night watchman (he worked at a cranberry silo for forty years) and currently resides at the Springfield Retirement Castle. Abe was once married to Mona Simpson, but she left him after becoming involved with a group of warfare protestors and was forced to hide after being caught at Monty Burns' germ lab. Despite his failed marriage, Abe has had a few relationships including one with fellow resident, Bea Simmons. Abe and Bea were smitten with each other, but Bea passed away suddenly at the retirement home.
Contents
Info
Abraham's favourite pastimes include napping, collecting beef jerky, sending complaint letters to newspapers and politicians and going to Herman's Military Antique store. Abe is also a member of " The Stonecutters' Club" and he also unwittingly became the president of the "Gay and Lesbian Alliance." Abe's claim to fame is that he can still dress himself; he wears a Bolo tie and bedroom slippers as well as red fez that once belonged to Napoleon. Abe suffers from back spasms and arythmia as well he always seems to have difficulty remembering where he put his dentures.
Abe has won an Emmy award for writing "Itchy and Scratchy: Barbershop of Horrors" but later confessed that it was Bart and Lisa who wrote the episode. Another notable achievement of Abe's was winning money to buy his first home on the crooked '50s show "How Low Will You Go?"
While Grampa's existence at the Springfield Retirement Castle is often bleak, he does occasionally get a visit from his family. To stave off boredom, his advice is to "stave off a good spot at the starin' window". He also enjoys the company of fellow resident, Jasper, telling stories that usually begin with "When I was a boy ..." and complaining about various social issues and his many aches and pains.
Residence
Abe resides at the Springfield Retirement Castle. His exact room number is unkown and has changed from episode to episode. He has been seen in room number 18 (7F17), room number 6 (1F09), and the second floor, third dank room on the left (7G05)
Jobs and Clubs
Military
Attained the rank of Sgt. while commanding the Flying Hellfish, of the First Infantry Division in the European Theatre during World War II. The Hellfish were the 'fightingest' squad in the 'fightingest' company in the third 'fightingest' battalion in the army. He was also watch commander at Pearl Harbor. It has been mentioned that Abe skipped some of WWII and played womens baseball.
He claims to have lied about his age to fight in World War I, which making his birth as anytime before 1914.
Other work experiences
Retired cranberry silo night watchman, worked the drive thru at Krusty Burger, employed as a writer for Itchy and Scratchy, was a strikebreaker in the 30's.
Clubs/Memberships
He's an Elk, a Mason, a Communist, President of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason, and a Stonecutter.
Other facts
- Immigrated to the United States as a child.
- Lived in the Statue of Liberty as a child until they filled the head with to much garbage, and had to move out .
- Loves Matlock.
- Inventor of Simpson and Son Revitalizing Tonic.
- Released an album at one point according to Homer.
- Wore a dress for a period in the '40s.
- Received a bus schedule for his birthday from Bart.
- Was in love with Bea Simmons and Marge's mother Jacqueline Bouvier.
- Was spanked by Grover Cleveland on two non consecutive occasions.
- Once took a shot at Teddy Roosevelt.
- Claims to have turned cats and dogs against each other.
- Claims to have invented kissing as a new way to spread germs.
- Wrote a book.
- Was the feet sticking out from under the door in "The Wizard of OZ".
- Created a webpage: www.oldcoot.com
- Almost won a gold medal for the javlin toss, and nearly hit Hitler but hit an assasin instead that was trying to kill Hitler.
- Played on a girls baseball team until they found out that she was a he.
- Helped bart and homer con the old people.
- Falls asleep at odd times, like when tell a story.
