Tab Spangler
Tab Spangler
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Character Information
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Tab Spangler is the counsler of the fat camp Bart went to after Bart stuffed up on Scammer and Z-Dog snacks from the school vending machines. He is voiced by Albert Brooks and appears in The Heartbroke Kid.
Quotes
Homer: Do the Bartman, Do the Bartman!
Spangler: Up, fatties! Stop dreaming about butter! Dream calories are real calories!
Spangler:, I'm gonna tell you a story about a young man who came here and failed. Well, that is the story. I shouldn't call a sentence a story. Anyway, it's you!
Kent: Kent Brockman Channel Six News. I gorge on kettle corn during the sports and weather.
Spangler: We know, your side fat's starting to spill over to channel five and seven. I hope you're getting three paychecks.
Spangler: Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, your boy is going to need one thing. Tough Luck!
(Points to a sign saying "Tough Luck.")
Marge: Don't you mean "Tough Love?"
Spangler: Tough Love. Of course, this has never made sense! The sign shop guy lied. Stanley! You didn't question the word "luck?" Now look what we've got!
Spangler: Mr. Simpson, you're suffering from PSI. (Points to a sign saying "P.S.I.") Poor self esteem. That's not 'I'! Every sign is wrong!
Spangler: Young man there's something I have to show you. In one hour. We have to drive there. No talking along the way, it'll hurt the drama.
Bart: Can I just--
Spangler: Shh, drama!
Spangler: not the ghosts of Christmas past Bart. They can see us.
Spangler: We got a long drive ahead, do you want to pull off at a motel? We'll split a room.
Homer: Where will I sleep?
Spangler: We can worry about that when we're standing naked before the bed! My goodness, no wonder you eat.
Spangler: What are you eating now?
Homer: Cheeseburger.
Spangler: You're a catastrophe. Let me have half of it.
Homer: I don't wanna.
Spangler: I just want the cheese, I don't want the meat. I do want the meat.
Homer: Here's a corner.
Spangler: Let me just bite it, don't rip it! Let me have the whole thing, you'll get some later.
Homer: You're a selfish jerk.
Spangler: I've smelled it, it has to be eaten!
Homer: But it's my burger!
Spangler: I'm driving. I'll kill us!
Homer, with his mouth full: Fine, I'd rather die!
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