- New article from the Springfield Shopper: Season 36 News: A new episode title, “P.S., I Hate You”, has been announced!
- New article from the Springfield Shopper: Season 36 News: More Preview Images and Details for “O C’mon All Ye Faithful” have been released!
- Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Level 42 content update
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
The Simpsons: Tapped Out Level 42 content update is the fifty-fourth content update for The Simpsons: Tapped Out and was released on June 18, 2014. It included Roger Meyers, Jr., Chester J. Lampwick, Itchy and Scratchy Studios, and the Itchy and Scratchy Billboard, plus the Friendship Points level 9 prize KBBL Studios.
Level Up Message
The level-up message is presented by Ralph
Level Up Message
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Characters
Decorations
Image
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Name
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Costs
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Character(s) unlocked when built
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Level required
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Itchy & Scratchy Billboard
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40
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None
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Rocket Car
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120
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Chester Lampick
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Buildings
Gameplay
Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 1
After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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I miss the old Springfield.
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Where's the black market Vicodin? Where's the underground kangaroo fight club? I need my 'roo fights!
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Sure. I'm making lots of money. But that gets boring without morally reprehensible things to spend it on.
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Krusty, if you're jaded about being rich, there's only one solution to your spirtual crisis -- get even richer.
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Yeah, than I can buy a private island. And attach rockets to it, and blast it into space. Ah, Space Island.
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What you need is to start making new Itchy & Scratchys.
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But we've already got hundreds of them. and the characters don't change or age. What innovative stories could any writer wring out of those characters?
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From what I can tell, none.
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But it doesn't matter. No one needs to watch the new episodes
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They just need to know they're being made and rember the old ones fondly... and voila, the brand is still relevant!
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Then you can start merchandising t-shirts and action figures, slot marchines and beer... maybe even develop a freemium game!
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Would the game have to be good?
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Not at all. Just rebuild Itchy & Scratchy Studios. I promise you'll be slupring up cash pronto from that sweet IP!
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The player receives "Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 1" which is to "Build the Itchy & Scratchy Studio". It takes 24 hours.
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Look out, ennui. You're about to get punched with a money fist.
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Due to a glitch rectified in the Level 43 content update, the quote, "Look out, ennui. You're about to get punched with a money fist." appeared randomly upon startup of the game.[1]
Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 2
After tapping on Roger Meyers Jr.'s exclamation mark
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Krusty, if it isn't my favorite talking ulcer. What is it that you want from me?
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Hey, hey, Roger. I just pulled you from oblivion. You ought to be kissing my foot acne in gratitude.
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I ain't kissing your facne for nothing! You still owe me for the Picasso you destroyed!
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When I drunkenly broke into your house and got cold? What was I supposed to start a fire with... a Monet!?
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I'm not breathing in fumes from some crappy Impressionist!
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Fellas, let's put aside this fighting, and focus on our common goal -- being rich enough to feel superior to others.
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We have a simple request, Roger.
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Get your staff at I & S to develop a new batch of beloved cartoons we can turn into shoddy, sweatshop merchandise.
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Remember, not just loved, BE-loved.
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We can do that. I have the smartest, hardest working, most talented writers since... [JOKE TO COME].
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The player receives "Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 2" which is to "Make Roger Myers Jr. Shout at the Writers". It takes 12 hours.
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Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 3
After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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Well, Roger, I've given you and your staff 12 hours, give or take the use of donuts.
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That should be more than enough time for them to come up with a billion dollar franchise.
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I'm sorry, Krusty. I went into the studio, and found everyone who worked for me is gone. And by gone, I mean is now a skeleton.
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There's a lesson here: if you chain your writers to their chairs, make sure those chairs are within arms' reach of the breakroom.
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Wait. Then what have you been doing all this time?
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Caught up with my email. Your inbox really fills up when you haven't been in existence for a while.
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Oh, even more money! You were going to heal me! Now how will I ever end the numbness I feel for life?
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The player receives "Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 3" which is to "Make Krusty Be a Sad Clown". It takes 24 hours.
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The worst problems in the world are the ones that affect me.
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A sad clown? How very original.
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Originality is not my specialty.
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Besides, I'm not sad for me. I'm sad for the millions of viewers who'll never get to see new episodes of Itchy and Scratchy.
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I guess you haven't seen Deadline Springfield.
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What is that -- the Internet? People aren't still doing the Internet, are they?
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Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 4
After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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Hey Roger Liars, which I say since Liars rhymes with your last name Myers. What's this I just read on Deadline Springfield?
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Look whose tears have dried. My good pal--
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Don't you "good pal" me! You're gonna make millions showing Itchy & Scratchy on the World Wide Whatever! And you cut me out of the deal?!
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In our last contract, you never asked for a share of new media sales. It's not my fault we signed that when the internet didn't exist.
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You backstabbing son of a backstabber!
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If it's an option in my menu, I will make it my mission to have you stored back in the inventory.
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People don't watch television anymore, Krusty.
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They receive content through smartphones, computers, tablets, and direct-to-brain downloads.
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So now some company will pay us handsomely for the opportunity to provide the entire Itchy & Scratchy catalogue via cable and internet doohickeys.
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That's how to wring the last remaining drops of cash out of an aging cartoon franchise.
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But you told me IP something something blah blah?
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I just said that to trick you into bringing back Roger. Face it, Krusty. You got Blue-Haired Lawyered.
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The player receives "Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 4" which is to "Make Roger Myers Jr. Negotiate New Media Rights". It takes 10 hours.
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Krusty the Hair Colorist Pt. 1
After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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Stupid Blue-Hairs! This is what I get for trusting those types of people. Always trying to crook away your money.
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Mr. the Clown, I know I see you all the time, but can I have another autograph?
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I keep having to give them away to bullies so they don't steal my retainer.
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Scram, you worthless blue-haired kid. And don't you even think of putting your toe into a Krusty Burger.
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You're banned! All Blue-Hairs are banned!
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Huh. I never knew bigotry was this emotionally satisfying. I think I finally get the South.
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The player receives "Krusty the Hair Colorist Pt. 1" which is to "Make Krusty Block Blue-Hairs from Krusty Burger". It takes 3 hours.
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Nothing blocks people from entering a building like juggling.
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This is the perfect revenge. There's no way this act of bigotry doesn't work out great for me.
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Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 5
After tapping on Roger Meyers Jr.'s exclamation mark
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Seven hundred and fifty million dollars...
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Roger, can you please finish signing these contracts?
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Seven hundred and fifty million dollars...
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Yes, that's how much you're going to be paid for the streaming rights for Itchy & Scratchy by the BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©!
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Seven hundred and fifty million dollars...
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But you can't get anything from the BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©, until you sign all the contracts.
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Seven hundred and fifty million dollars...
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*sigh* Here, you hold the pen and I'll hold your hand.
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The player receives "Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 5" which is to "Make Roger Myers Jr. "Sign" on the Dotted Line". It takes 2 hours.
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Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 6
After tapping on Roger Meyers Jr.'s exclamation mark
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Look at all these tech weirdos and inter-dorks here to build the Itchy & Scratchy website.
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Finally, I've got a staff to demean and humiliate. What am I supposed to yell at them to do again?
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They're creating an advertising supported web portal.
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It's basically a Hulu devoted solely to Itchy & Scratchy where all the episodes ever produced can be viewed.
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Do whatever the lawyer just said! And do it faster! Or I'll pull out your throats and choke you with your own windpipes!
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Make a note of that visual. We could make a whole story out of it for the cat. Or the mouse. Whichever one does the violence.
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The player receives "Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 6" which is to " Make Roger Myers Jr. Shout at the Web Designers". It takes 10 hours.
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I am here to inform you, Krusty, since the start of the I & S web portal for BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©, you must cease all displays of Itchy & Scratchy licensed images.
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You're pulling Itchy & Scratchy? Please, no one watches my show to see me!
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Everyone knows I'm the one holding me back!
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Krusty the Hair Colorist Pt. 2
After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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These shifty Blue-Hairs are rotting this city from the inside.
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It's time we deal with this problem using good old fashioned 20th century methods. Like they use in Arizona.
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I've already banned them from Krusty Burger.
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Now to use my powerful connections in City Hall to lobby for a Blue-Hair ID program, Blue-Hair-only bathrooms, and eventually Blue-Hair deportation.
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I'm stepping up this discrimination from de facto to de jure.
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The player receives "Krusty the Hair Colorist Pt. 2" which is to "Make Krusty Discriminate Against Blue-Haired People". It takes 5 hours.
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There is absolutely no way, erm, I can do what you want, Krusty. It's plainly illegal and immoral.
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When a Quimby won't take your bribe, you know you've crossed a line.
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I just want to treat certain people as second-class citizens, based solely on the color of their hair. How can that be wrong?
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No politician can win an election if he's associated with hair colorism, even an election he fixed.
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But D-Joe, they took Itchy & Scratchy from me.
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You have to help me dehumanize these people. It's the only way I can get everyone to stop thinking of them as human!
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Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 7
After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
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Lis, look outside and tell me if the world blew up!
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It's still here. The world is unlikely to end by explosion though.
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The true danger is inattention and neglect as we use up our natural resources. I have seen the asteroid, and it is us.
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You're as fun as ever, sis. But now we have a real problem!
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Itchy & Scratchy was pulled from Krusty's show! This is going to make wasting time watching TV pointless.
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As the super rich get super richer, the rest of us have to accept the rules they give us. That's how the modern economy works.
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By the way, if you're smart and powerless, it's way cooler to give up and act jaded. I read that in The Economist For Kidz.
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This is unacceptable. What's the point of being kids if we can't fix problems with pluck, spunk, and ...how do we fix this?
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Well, we could round up all the kids in town and write complaint letters to Roger Myers Jr.
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This could be our civil rights movement, but instead of being about freedom from social persecution, it's about freedom to watch TV. Because freedom is now a meaningless word.
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Write letters? Would we have to use cursive? This seems too hard. Can't we just email photos of our butts?
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Anyone or any spambot can shoot off an email. But people willing to write letters, they're crazy enough to be dangerous.
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The player receives "Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 7" which is to "Make Kids Write Angry Letters (x8)". It takes 10 hours.
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Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 8
Krusty the Hair Colorist Pt. 3
After tapping on Milhouse's exclamation mark.
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Mr. the Clown, I know you hate my kind, but can you sign one last autograph? And then initial pages 3, 5, 8, and 9?
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How did you get in here, Blue-Hair?!
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*sigh* Never hire a monkey to run your security.
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Krusty, this here is a class-action lawsuit for your blatantly discriminatory service policy.
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You can't keep people out of Krusty Burger based on the color of their hair.
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Only on the content of their character... as evidenced by a lack of shirt and/or shoes.
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You can sue someone for being a bigot?! There's no chance I can beat a lawsuit. This town only has one lawyer.
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I'll be your Perry Mason, Krusto. I got a JD when someone flushed theirs into the sewer.
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This degree is from Dartmouth. I think I'm better off representing myself.
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The player receives "Krusty the Hair Colorist Pt. 3" which is to "Make Milhouse Take Krusty to Court" and "Make Judge Snyder Preside Over Court Session", and "Make Blue-Haired Lawyer Prosecute Krusty (only if the player has the Blue-Haired Lawyer). It takes 4 hours.
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Today I will show this court that Krusty not only discriminated against Blue-Hair-Americans like my client and myself, but also his own father!
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For as this picture shows, Rabbi Hyman Krustofski was born with blue hair!
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DUNT DUNT DUN!
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Oh no, Papa! How I have slandered and disgraced you!
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Once again, you've been Blue-Haired Lawyered!
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After the quest is complete.
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My mother was born with yellow hair, my father with blue, and that adds up to me having green hair.
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It seems so obvious once I say the chromatic structure out loud.
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Krusty, you can hand my client your entire net worth in either bags marked with dollar signs or chests full of coins made of gold.
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Oh Mr. Lawyer, I don't want any money.
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SHUH-WHUT?!
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All I want is for Krusty to go back to showing Itchy & Scratchy.
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Well, I have no legal right to force one private company to work with another private company... but I just can't resist the wish of a child.
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Blue-Haired Lawyer, get Itchy & Scratchy back on the air!
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Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 9
After tapping on Roger Meyers Jr.'s exclamation mark
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Nothing better to do after the completion of a lifetime of work than proclaim some exposition.
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The Itchy & Scratchy website is ready to launch. I can finally relax.
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Think I'll treat myself by making my clothes stink of tobacco.
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The player receives "Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 9" which is to "Make Roger Myers Jr. Relax with a Cigar". It takes 4 hours.
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Wait, if all my work is done, who am I going to yell at? There's too much risk of reprisal with waiters and concierges.
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I can try yelling at my cigar. Cigar, you better not give me mouth cancer!
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Oh no, this isn't working -- it's just defiantly blowing smoke in my face.
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Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 10
After tapping on Roger Meyers Jr.'s exclamation mark
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So it's agreed. I'll get to yell at people to make new Itchy & Scratchy episodes, and Krusty will show them.
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That's all I ever wanted.
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Also, a percentage of that seven hundred and fifty million dollar new media sale would be great.
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Seven hundred and fifty million dollars...
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Krusty, the BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©, has offered to pay your cable bill for one year.
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They view new episodes airing on your network as the perfect advertising for their website.
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Especially since they're all owned by the same media conglomerate.
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You make it cable AND internet, and we've got a deal!
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The player receives "Islands in the Revenue Stream Pt. 10" which is to "Make Krusty Get a Piece of the Action" and "Make Roger Myers Jr. Shout at the Animators". It takes 8 hours.
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Okay, you scribbling cretins, I want you to shove amazing down my throat like I'm a French goose!
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It's nice to be home.
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Maximum Itchyload
After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
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Welcome to the Itchydome!
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We are surrounded on all sides by sixteen smartphones, seven tablets, four laptops, two home computers, and five TVs, making...
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Thirty-four.
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Thirty-four screens blasting Itchy & Scratchy straight at our eyeballs, earholes, and mushified brains.
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People, there is no escape from the entertainment.
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My nose is starting to bleed. Cool!
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Now this is how TV shows were meant to be watched.
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The player receives "Maximum Itchyload" which is to "Make Kids Watch Itchy & Scratchy (x8)". It takes 8 hours.
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Bindle There, Done That Pt. 1
After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick's exclamation mark
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G. Rover Gripes! Springfied?! How'd I end up back in this piddlepot town?
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Hey everyone! We've got a new old coot!
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It's Chester Lampwick, the original creator of Itchy the Lucky mouse in 1919. Which would make him old enough to be...
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...dead?
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That's what I should be! But somehow I ain't!
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There, there. Why we continue to exist is a mystery to us all.
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So drink up! There's no need for answers when you can't remeber the questions.
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The player receives "Bindle There, Done That Pt. 1" which is to "Make Lampwick Look for Answers at the Bottom of a Bottle" and "Make Homer Look for Answers at the Bottom of a Bottle". It takes 4 hours.
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I mean, jeez, who are you? If you're here, who's left to return to Springfield? Señor Ding Dong?
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You rang, mis amigos?
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Bindle There, Done That Pt. 2
After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick's exclamation mark
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When I last was in Springfield, I had me a legally mandated fortune and fingers on my gloves.
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Now I'm just another hobo with a rocket car.
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If it weren't for this explosion changing all the rules, I'd have walked off into the cush life of a billionaire, dancing the hula in crystal houses with Rockefellers and Araby sheiks.
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Did you ever do any of those strange words?
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Hey, you don't know the direction a night can head in! Possibilities abound!
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You returned not just as an impoverished vagabond.
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You're an esteemed contributor to the legacy of a great cartoon show—Itchy & Scratchy! And I know how to prove it.
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Aw, little girl, it's nice of you to rebuild my solid gold house. Now if you can just put it by the water...
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No, better than any material possession. I'll help you experience adoration in the eyes of your young fans.
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We'll have a signing party at our house for all the kids in town!
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Alright. But tell your friends to keep their sticky paws off my bindle. I hate a gunky bindle.
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The player receives "Bindle There, Done That Pt. 2" which is to "Make Lampwick Sign Autographs" and "Make Children Visit Lampwick (x4)". It takes 10 and 5 hours.
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Children of Springfield, meet the silly-named genius Chester Lampwick! The man you didn't know you should admire but should!
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*Ahem...yes.* Bindle off limits.
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What's a bindle?
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You're holding a phone. Look it up.
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After the task is compelted
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No, the violence is a metaphor! It represents all the different objects that you can stab in people's eyes.
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You mollycoddled nollywads don't get the subtlety of my work one drop!
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Mr. Lampwick, I don't think that's what a metaphor is—
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Pah! Why try to speak to the masses when everyone's a nincompoop.
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Being a valued member of a community is worthless.
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Bindle There, Done That Pt. 3
After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick's exclamation mark
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What am I doing back in this place? I know I was never meant to be more than a marginal, one-off, side character.
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Had me a story, and dejabbers, it was a good one! Felt like a hero then.
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Now I'm just another oddball. Might as well be going up to strangers, shouting "Ooggitty boogitty!"
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Ooggitty boogitty! That's it!
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I can be something better than a hero. A weirdo who irritates people into getting what he wants.
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The player receives "Bindle There, Done That Pt. 3" which is to "Build Krusty Burger" and "Make Lampwick Annoy Staff and Patrons". It takes 2 hours.
Template:Tapped Out Squeaky Voiced Teen Icon
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May I take your order, Mr. Penniless Vagrant?
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Yeah, I'll have an ice cold soda, hold the soda, hold the ice, and fill the cup with loose change.
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After the task is compelted
Template:Tapped Out Squeaky Voiced Teen Icon
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Here are seven Krusty Burgers, three Meat-Flavored Sandwiches, and two The Cloggers. Take them and go!
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Not sure what all this free food is going to do for this abscess in my arm pit, but if that's what you want, young man, that's what I'll do.
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Heh heh. Chester J., you sly, silver marmoset. Bless your pus-filled body.
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Bindle There, Done That Pt. 4
After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick's exclamation mark
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Good to see my panhandling tricks are as trusty as ever.
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Time to remake the Lampwick fortune the old-fashioned way: taking it from other people.
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You shouldn't get money by begging. This is America.
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Find a job, go to work, and duck your responsibilities while you collect paychecks you don't deserve, like the rest of us.
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You think this is the life I wanted?
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If I had my druthers, I'd be an internationally celebrated cartoonist, or I'd live under a tree made of diamonds, whose nuts are smaller diamonds I could sell above market price.
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No, I didn't get to choose my fate. I just gotta play the role I was assigned, and make the best of it.
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Which means escaping my role and changing my fate!
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Soon, this cat will once again be a top dog.
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So you dream of being the opposite of a hobo. What would that be exactly... an "oboh"?
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That's not the opposite of hobo, ya crackbrained cretin.
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The opposite of a word is that word backwards AND upside down. I'm going to be an "oqoy".
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Wanna know how to pronounce "oqoy"? It's "LAMPWICK!"
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The player receives "Bindle There, Done That Pt. 4" which is to "Make Lampwick Rely on the Generosity of Others". It takes 24 hours.
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All that time shaking my hand can, and all I've got is a single, lousy dollar?
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The people in this town are the opposite of good! They're "poo6"!
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Bindle There, Done That Pt. 5
After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick's exclamation mark
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I can still Vanderbilt my way back to the top. All I need to do is invest this in the hobo's stock market.
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One lotto Scratch-R, my snake-charming friend.
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Thank you for the stereotype I am not thankful for.
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Would you like a regular Scratch-R or the high-roller Golden Scratch-R, reserved for only the best...of whoever is willing to pay for it?
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Give me the fancy one. I've got a feeling that on this day Chester J. can't lose!
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The player receives "Bindle There, Done That Pt. 5" which is to "Make Lampwick Buy a Golden Scratch-R". It takes 1 hour.
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Donuts?! That's what I get for my buck?
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What nob-headed ninnies would want donuts instead of actual money?
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You should show more respect for the power of the donut. They are the most powerful currency of all.
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They are how you are even here!
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Consarnable pastries! If these garbage rings are how I got here, I'd rather have garbage.
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Hobo You Didn't! Pt. 1
After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick's exclamation mark
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Someone paid good money just to torture me with poverty?
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Well, I know who it must be! Only one soul has ever been so hate-fueled, bile-filled, and vile-stuffed.
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That secret Midget Little Vicki!
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Little Vicki Valentine, Hollywood's little princess?
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The talented star of sixty-one films and TV shows, and countless Broadway plays because the internet won't count them for me?
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That's the flapper.
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In 1963, I crashed some snooty awards party. All I wanted was a shrimp cocktail. So I get in line for one, right behind Little Vicki.
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As we get to the front, I notice there are only two glasses of shrimp left.
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Just as I'm about to get mine, Little Vicki takes them both! Says one's for a friend.
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If your friend wants an s-cocktail, your friend should wait in line for an s-cocktail!
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A haughty sheba who snatches shrimp out of the little guys' mouths, those people are the true scum of the earth.
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I've got to warn Springfield. For evil has arrived.
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The player receives "Hobo You Didn't! Pt. 1" which is to "Make Lampwick Rant About Little Vicki". It takes 8 hours.
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Guard your shrimp! Little Vicki may walk among you!
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Hobo You Didn't! Pt. 2
After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick's exclamation mark
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I think I finally figured out why I'm back in Springfield, little girl. It's not for money or respect. It's for...
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REVENGE!
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Mr. Lampwick, I'm still not sure your crusade against Little Vicki is the best pursuit.
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She's one of America's finest actresses, and the first ever winner of the Kiddie Academy Awards!
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I know all about her award record. If you ask me, she lied about her age!
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She kept saying, "I'm the youngest actress to ever win an award, and now I am about to get my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!"
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Ever check her teeth? Never once did her fake baby teeth ever fall out!
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Or that curly hair of hers... a wig, I tell ya! She had me thrown out of the party when I attempted to yank that mop off!
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Like I'm telling ya, an awful human being. I saw her clean the earwax out of her ears using her house keys. Disgusting.
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Now Dame Judith Underdunk, she was a celebrity with class.
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Would remember your name, your birthday, and even bake you a cake. Had a handshake like George Washington's.
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The Springfield Library keeps thorough entertainment news records. We can check to verify your story...
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And I can take a bath in their sink and dry myself on some useless, old books. Public libraries—the Hobo's Hilton.
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The player receives "Hobo You Didn't! Pt. 2" which is to "Build Springfield Library", "Make Lampwick Do Research", and "Make Lisa Do Research" It takes 24 hours.
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Ah, fresh as a wilted rose! Nothing gives a man reason to look and smell his best better than a bellyful of dumb rage.
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Hobo You Didn't! Pt. 3
After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick's exclamation mark
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Springfield, we must protect ourselves from the forces of Little Vicki! Discard all signs of the Queen of Babylon!
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Sir, don't damage those DVDs of Little Vicki for President.
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If I mark the price down any lower, I will have to pay people to take them. And even then they will say, "Little Vicki for President? Ugh."
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We must cease worshipping her, and free ourselves from her narrative tyranny!
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She can no longer control us, forcing us to engage in silly behavior for her amusement!
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The player receives "Hobo You Didn't! Pt. 3" which is to "Make Lampwick Battle the Forces of Vicki" It takes 6 hours.
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It's nice to feel like I finally have something to contribute.
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DEATH TO LITTLE VICKI!
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Hobo You Didn't! Pt. 4
After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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Mr. Lampwick! Mr. Lampwick! My research uncovered something you should know about your reason for existing.
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Is it how to create a Little Vicki-proof barrier around any home or shanty town?
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You said Little Vicki was getting her star on the Walk of Fame. But she got her star in 1960, not 1963.
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Also, the Walk of Fame parties only served shrimp cocktail in 1964...
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The same year Dame Judith Underdunk got her star on the walk!
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I believe the evil curly haired woman who took your shrimp was not Little Vicki, but in fact the Dame Judith Underdunk!
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So... everything I believe in is a lie?
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Isn't that great?!
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...
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Oh. Only now do I realize how that might not be so great...
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...and that's beside the fact that I helped put her in prison!
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Guess I'll never know why I got saddled with this bum's life. Fate or chance or Little Vicki, I gotta make the best of it.
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There's no point in trying to anticipate the answers to why we're here.
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The essence of life is its mystery, and only when we accept that can we focus on living.
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Samuel Beckett was right. Hobos do possess a deeper insight.
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I know the perfect job for you, if you're willing to work for free cafeteria food.
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The player receives "Hobo You Didn't! Pt. 4" which is to "Make Lampwick Star in a School Production of Waiting for Godot" It takes 3 hours.
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Magnificent performance, Mr. Lampwick!
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This high school hasn't been so moved since the days Moleman bloodied our stage in Richard the II.
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Thank you. And shove it. I have to spout a bunch of frufru nonsense AND choke down dry Salisbury steak?
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Forget it! I'd rather dine on juicy rotisserie pigeon, hot off the trash can.
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Hobo You Didn't! Pt. 5
After tapping on Chester J. Lampwick's exclamation mark
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Whew. Trying to find a purpose for my existence has tuckered me out.
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I hope someone thought to give you a job at the homeless shelter.
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Or at least a job to stay with everyone else in the brown house.
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I don't need shelter.
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I have the one thing that truly matters, the one thing no one can take from me: my fantasies of destroying all who have wronged me.
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I was hoping you'd say "human dignity." But "destroying others" is an alternative.
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Take care. And have a goodnight, little victim number twelve.
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The player receives "Hobo You Didn't! Pt. 5" which is to "Make Lampwick Sleep Under a Newspaper" It takes 12 hours.
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You're going to get it. You're all going to get it! Especially whoever gave me this storyline and all his accomplices!
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Good Morning, Springfield!
After the KBBL Studios is build
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Woo Hoo! The radio station is back. Now when I'm at work I can listen to Bill and Marty instead of all those annoying warning sirens.
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The player receives "Good Morning, Springfield!" which is to "Broadcast Bill and Marty at KBBL". It takes 4 hours.
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Gil's offer
Buildings
Gameplay
After tapping on Gil's exclamation mark
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Check it out, players! For a limited time, you can get Springfield's famous Mansion of Solid Gold!
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Mansion of Solid Gold? I don't remember that even being in our town.
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Maybe it was the place Kent Brockman moved into when he won the lottery.
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No, that was just a normal mansion... although he wore a lot of gold in that episode.
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Actually, it belonged to Chester Lampwhick, the original creator of Itchy & Scratchy. but he fell on hard times... just like Ol' Gil here does constantly.
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Oh, right. Now I remember this house! But i didn't think it was canonical -- I thought it was just a throw-away joke.
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What's that? A joke the writers should have thrown away?
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Exactly. Kind of like this bit we're doing now.
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If not a sale
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Okay by me. The longer this stays on the market, the longer Ol' Gil has a place to secretly crash.
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If a sale
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Congratulations on the purchase of your new home!
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Now let's see, sixty day escrow, seventeen day inspection period... you've got your loan and appraisal contingencies... disclosures... termites...
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Oh what, that's real life stuff. This is a game. just take it -- it's yours!
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Solid Gold Pt. 1
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Ohh, look at that shiny gold mansion!
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Yeah, it's nice. A little flashy... but nice.
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I'm so happy the person playing this game is a gemmer... I mean, donuter.
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Just hink of all the poor Homers in all the other towns controlled by more frugal and/or less impulsive players.
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Yeah, I supppose. There's something to be said for good money management, though.
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Pfft, please. Those Homers would be lucky just to have a Burn's mansion in their town. But I've got the best mansion in the game!
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A mansion of solid gold!
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Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go peel the gold foil off and eat the chocolate underneath.
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What?!
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The player receives "Solid Gold Pt. 1" which is to "Make Homer Try to Eat the Mansion of Solid Gold". It takes 4 hours.
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Solid Gold Pt. 2
After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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Ow, dear God! I think I chipped a tooth! Why did I do that for four hours?!
|
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What were you thinking, Dad? It's a Mansion of Solid Gold! What part of that don't you understand?
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The "solid" part apparently.
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Also why'd I do that for four hours?
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That tooth looks bad. You should probably go see a doctor, or dentist, or veterinarian or something.
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Thanks sweetie, I will. Right after lunch.
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The player receives "Solid Gold Pt. 2" which is to "Make Homer Try to Eat the Mansion of Solid Gold". It takes 4 hours.
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Solid Gold Pt. 3
After tapping on Cletus's exclamation mark
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Ooh, look at that fancy giant shack. It glitters all yellowy, like the tooth we pulled from that hobo.
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That's because it's made of fake tooth stuff! Pure gold, I hear told.
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Gold? Yellow oil? California tea?
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Yep. And it's supposed to be state of the art. They even got one of them indoor outhouses... with copper plumbing, I heard tell.
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COPPER?!
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The player receives "Solid Gold Pt. 3" which is to "Make Cletus Strip Copper from Mansion of Solid Gold". It takes 6 hours.
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References
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