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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Stonecutters content update

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052 "Level 41"
053
"Stonecutters"
"Level 42" 054
The Simpsons Tapped Out Stonecutters.png

The Simpsons: Tapped Out Stonecutters content update is the fifty-third content update of The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It introduced the Stonecutters to Tapped Out. It was released on June 3, 2014.

Contents

Characters[edit]

Image Name Cost Unlock message
Number 1.png Number 1 Unlocks by building the Stonecutter Lodge Tapped Out Number 1 New Character.png
Number 51.png Number 51 Donut Tapped Out.png100 Tapped Out Number 51 New Character.png

Skins[edit]

Image Name Cost Unlock message
Number 2.png Number 2 Donut Tapped Out.png60 Tapped Out Number 2 New Character.png
Number 5.png Number 5 Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png28,000 Tapped Out Number 5 New Character.png
Number 12 Stonecutters.png Number 12 Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png28,000 Tapped Out Number 12 New Character.png
Number 14.png Number 14 Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png28,000 Tapped Out Number 14 New Character.png
Number 21 Stonecutters.png Number 21 Solve 1 Sacred Parchment riddle Tapped Out Number 21 New Character.png
Number 22 Stonecutters.png Number 22 Solve 10 Sacred Parchment riddles Tapped Out Number 22 New Character.png
Number 29.png Number 29 Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png14,000 Tapped Out Number 29 New Character.png
Number 36.png Number 36 Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png4,000 Tapped Out Number 36 New Character.png
Number 50.png Number 50 Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png18,000 Tapped Out Number 50 New Character.png
Number 59.png Number 59 Solve 20 Sacred Parchment riddles Tapped Out Number 59 New Character.png
Number 66.png Number 66 Solve 15 Sacred Parchment riddles Tapped Out Number 66 New Character.png
Number 67.png Number 67 Solve 15 Sacred Parchment riddles Tapped Out Number 67 New Character.png
Number 79.png Number 79 Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png18,000 Tapped Out Number 79 New Character.png
Number 85.png Number 85 Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png10,000 Tapped Out Number 85 New Character.png
Number 111.png Number 111 Solve 5 Sacred Parchment riddles Tapped Out Number 111 New Character.png
Number 314.png Number 314 Donut Tapped Out.png12 Tapped Out Number 314 New Character.png
Number 600.png Number 600 Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png10,000 Tapped Out Number 600 New Character.png
Number 908.png Number 908 Unlocks in Game of Stones Pt. 2 Tapped Out Number 908 New Character.png

Buildings[edit]

Image Name Building time Costs Task Character(s) unlocked when built
Stonecutter Lodge Tapped Out.png Stonecutter Lodge 16h Cash.png2,000 Keeping Secrets Number 1
Stonecutter Daycare Center Tapped Out.png Stonecutter Daycare Center 24h Cash.png250,000 Teaching Children the Occult
Abandoned Store Tapped Out.png Abandoned Store 6s Donut Tapped Out.png30 Being Abandoned

Decorations[edit]

Image Name Costs
Hieroglyph Wall Tapped Out.png Hieroglyph Wall Cash.png500
Tube Slide Tapped Out.png Tube Slide Cash.png2,500
All Seeing Eye Tapped Out.png All Seeing Eye Donut Tapped Out.png100
Sacred Parchment Tapped Out.png Sacred Parchment Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png1,450
Chest of Sacred Artifacts Tapped Out.png Chest of Sacred Artifacts Donut Tapped Out.png55
Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png6,500
Money Pool Tapped Out.png Money Pool Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png14,000
Stone of Triumph Tapped Out.png Stone of Triumph Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png22,500
Stonecutter Table Tapped Out.png Stonecutter Table Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png31,500
Tapped Out Satan's Anvil.png Satan's Anvil Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png35,000
Ark of the Stonecovenant Tapped Out.png Ark of the Stonecovenant Solve 24 Sacred Parchment riddles

Prizes[edit]

Emblem Prizes[edit]

Image Object Unlocked after collecting
Sacred Parchment Tapped Out.png Sacred Parchment Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png1,450
Number 36.png Number 36 Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png4,000
Chest of Sacred Artifacts Tapped Out.png Chest of Sacred Artifacts Donut Tapped Out.png55
Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png6,500
Number 85.png Number 600.png Number 85 and 600 Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png10,000
Number 29.png Money Pool Tapped Out.png Number 29 and the Money Pool Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png14,000
Number 50.png Number 79.png Number 50 and 79 Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png18,000
Stone of Triumph Tapped Out.png Stone of Triumph Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png22,500
Number 5.pngNumber 12 Stonecutters.pngNumber 14.png Number 5, 12, and 14 Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png28,000
Stonecutter Table Tapped Out.png Stonecutter Table Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png31,500
Satan's Anvil Tapped Out.png Satan's Anvil Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png35,000

Sacred Parchment Prizes[edit]

Image Object Unlocked after completing
Number 21 Stonecutters.png Number 21 1
Number 111.png Number 111 5
Number 22 Stonecutters.png Number 22 10
Number 66.png Number 67.png Number 66 and 67 15
Number 59.png Number 59 20
Ark of the Stonecovenant Tapped Out.png Ark of the Stonecovenant 24

Puzzles[edit]

Image Date Puzzle Answer
Stonecutters June 3.png June 3 A pointy-haired girl yearns to play her favorite instrument. Make Lisa Play the Sax
Stonecutters June 4.png June 4 Eight hungry children, fed by an overworked shopkeep. Make Apu Feed the Octuplets
Stonecutters June 5.png June 5 A celebrity gets the monkey off his back. Make Krusty Walk Mr. Teeny
Stonecutters June 6.png June 6 A young boy searches doggedly for his loved one. Make Milhouse Find Puppy Goo Goo
Stonecutters June 7.png June 7 Getting out in nature is an admirable pursuit, in principle. Make Skinner Go Bird Watching
Stonecutters June 8.png June 8 Great Scott! It's an instrument of war! Make Willie Play the Bagpipes
Stonecutters June 9.png June 9 The worst costume ever is the one you make yourself. Make Comic Book Guy Cosplay
Stonecutters June 10.png June 10 What's black and white and carried all over? Make Moe Smuggle Endangered Species
Stonecutters June 11.png June 11 A revered pastime derails your preconception of religion. Make Lovejoy Ride Scale Train
Stonecutters June 12.png June 12 Two wheels transport the son of a king. Make Martin Ride A Bike
Stonecutters June 13.png June 13 It would be criminal to skip this art lesson. Make Marge Teach Art Classes
Stonecutters June 14.png June 14 Four wheels transport the son of a Greek poet. Make Bart Skateboard
Stonecutters June 15.png June 15 The serpent has a mane that must be maintained. Make Snake Comb Your Bitchin' Hair
Stonecutters June 16.png June 16 Daddy needs a new pair of size 30 shoes! Make Krusty Visit The Track
Stonecutters June 17.png June 17 Secrets that aren't hidden are a waste. Make Mr. Burns Hide Nuclear Waste
Stonecutters June 18.png June 18 A Flaming Moe has a liquor-ish sting. Make Smithers Whip It
Stonecutters June 19.png June 19 Pyromaniacs love learnding! Make Ralph Burn Things
Stonecutters June 20.png June 20 Now that's a spicy squeezebox! Make Luigi Play The Accordion
Stonecutters June 21.png June 21 Mandela manipulates a modern mandolin. Make Nelson Play the Guitar
Stonecutters June 22.png June 22 He communicates with his ancestors in Norse Code. Make Carl Honor his Icelandic Heritage
Stonecutters June 23.png June 23 You can't put a price on love, but you can always buy a heart. Make Dr. Hibbert Deal Organs on the Black Market
Stonecutters June 24.png June 24 Five-letter word for a grumpy, old woman. Second letter: "G." Make Agnes Do Crossword Puzzles
Stonecutters June 25.png June 25 A musical offering you cannot refuse. Make Fat Tony Play The Violin
Stonecutters June 26.png June 26 A missing limb sounds like bad genes. Make Herman Sell Counterfeit Jeans

Gameplay[edit]

Game of Stones Pt. 1[edit]

Tapped Out Homer Icon.png What?! Moe ran out of beer?!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Impossible! That's like Miley Cyrus running out of tounge poses!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Apu, two cases of your cheapest beer! Nothing fancy, just something to make me woozy and bloated.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png I would love to sell you dangerous quantities of alcohol.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png Especially since you always stumble back later for snackcakes, lotto tickets and those adult diaper wipes.
Tapped Out Apu Icon.png But all the bottles of alcohol in my store mysteriously exploded. And the walls behind the alcohol have mysteriously developed baseball bat dents.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png So there's no booze in this whole town? Oh God! I'll be forced to face it sober!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png None of my ideas will seem brilliant!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png George Lopez won't be funny at all!
Tapped Out Number 1 Hooded Figure Icon.png Psst, I know how you could have enough alcohol to ruin TWO livers...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I'll do anything you say, hooded figure I just met!
Tapped Out Number 1 Hooded Figure Icon.png Re-build the Stonecutter Lodge!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png That's right! They had a microbrewery, champagne fountain and bourbon jacuzzi!
Tapped Out Number 1 Hooded Figure Icon.png Yes, The Stonecutters invented alcoholism as a way to control "cool people".
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png And for that, I am forever grateful. I shall build the What-cha-ma-callit Lodge!
The player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 1" which is to "Build the Stonecutter Lodge". It takes 16 hours.

Game of Stones Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Number 1? YOU were the hooded figure? But I thought you quit The Stonecutters to form the No Homers Club?
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Regrettably, the No Homers lost their clubhouse in the nuclear super-accident.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I don't know how many times I'm gonna have to say this but:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Sor-ry!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Yes, well, I'd like to be a Stonecutter again.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Okay, but you have to do what I say. The birthmark on my butt says I'm your leader.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png I prefer to think of it as your upper thigh.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Do what you gotta do.
The player gets a new costume to Homer which is "Number 908". Then the player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 2" which is to "Make Number 908 Be the Chosen One". It takes 4 hours.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Hey, everyone! Look at The Sacred Texts! I never noticed this part here, scrawled in purple crayon!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png "In the event of nuclear meltdown, the NEW leader shall be he who holds the sacred purple crayon!" Oh look, I have it right here!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I don't know… that crayon looks more like a deep plum.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png It also says Homer gets to keep the title of “Chosen One” and the fancy hat and… uh… this “Doors of Europe” calendar.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Woohoo! It's a deal! There's a bunch of unused months on this!

Game of Stones Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Number 1, you may be the leader of The Stonecutters but these days all of us take our orders from…
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png The Sky Finger.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png The Sky Finger places all our buildings and sends us on our jobs.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Often while he's supposed to be working no less.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Well, I shan't be doing this Sky Finger's bidding.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Sky Finger! Obey MY command! "open-bracket COLLECT underscore FROM underscore HOUSES close-bracket"
The player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 3" which is to "Collect from Houses (x5)".
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png How did you learn the code to make the Sky Finger do THAT?!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png *shrug* I know a lot of nerds.

Game of Stones Pt. 4[edit]

Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Stonecutters! It is time to step forward in our march toward Global Domination!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Let us read now from the ancient prophecy to learn what must be done.
Message HINT: All Kids in Springfield now have a new job you can use to complete Number 1's task!
The player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 4" which is to "Solve Number 1's Task". The first Number 1's task is "Send a Youngster to Drink an Extra Cold Squishee" it takes 60 minutes.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png What?! How would that help you conquer the world?
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png When young brains freeze, it causes an insatiable appetite for following orders.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png *gasp* You are more evil than I imagined. Fortunately, our kids are too smart for that. They'd never fall for—!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Hmm, I suddenly really want to drink a Squishee.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png *screams*

Game of Stones Pt. 5[edit]

Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Now carefully and thoughtfully place the Sacred Parchment. It is the most hallowed artifact of The Stonecutters.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png More essential to us than the fragment of the cross, the holy folder of take-out menus and the rack for our pool table.
The player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 5" which is to "Build Sacred Parchment".

Game of Stones Pt. 6[edit]

Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png There is no better opiate of the masses than shiny, new trinkets.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png This chest of artifacts will distract attention from our darkest machinations. Like jingling car keys when giving a baby a shot.
The player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 6" which is to "Build Chest of Sacred Artifacts".
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ooo, let see what's in our treasure chest!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Holy hand grenade...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png ring with writing on it that makes me want to punch people…
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png used shroud with some bearded dude's face burned in…
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png *moans* There's nothing good in here!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png This jeweled cup is too wide for drinking. Still, I guess I can use it.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Oh my God! I think that's the Holy Grail!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Now it's Daddy's ice cream bowl.

Game of Stones Pt. 7[edit]

After tapping on Skinner's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Number 600…
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png That's my number, don't wear it out! Heh, heh.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png I need the membership to come together for a very important meeting.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png I want you to make an announcement and then stand by the bar to make sure no one gets too drunk.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png That's exactly what I do every day at school!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Don't be glib. It doesn't work for you.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png I was just thinking the same thing.
The player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 7" which is to "Build Willie's Shack", "Make Number 908 Attend a Secret Meeting", "Make Number 36 Attend a Secret Meeting", "Make Number 600 Attend a Secret Meeting", and "Make Number 85 Attend a Secret Meeting". It takes 8 hours.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png My brothers in stone, it is good to see you all once again assembled in this lodge.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png The Springfield Stonecutters are growing in their power. The time has come to use our strength to take over the Shelbyville chapter…
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png …and then the WORLD!

Game of Stones Pt. 8[edit]

Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png These Stonecutter meetings are so stressful. No one cowers in my presence. People make eye contact.
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Lenny actually said, “How's it goin'?” to me. And because he outranks me I was compelled to tell him!
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png I don't know how you non-richies handle the nobody-ness of it all.
Tapped Out Smithers Icon.png We're used to it, sir. Shall I prepare the relaxation pool?
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Yes. A little dip will do me good.
The player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 8" which is to "Build Cooling Towers", "Build Money Pool", and "Make Number 29 Take a Dip in the Money Pool". It takes 4 hours.

Game of Stones Pt. 9[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Number 908, we would like to honor you for re-building our beloved lodge.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I would say that you guys shouldn't have… but I think you really probably should.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Attach the Stone of Triumph to The Chosen One!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png D'oh!
The player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 9" which is to "Build Stone of Triumph" and "Make Number 908 Wear the Stone of Triumph". It takes 10 hours.

Game of Stones Pt. 10[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Now we begin our siege of the Shelbyville Chapter.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png We will sneak into their Lodge, steal their booze then frame the Shelbyville chapter's leader for the crime.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Homer, do you think you can handle this?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Sure, I'm pretty stealthy when I'm not dragging around a rock.
The player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 10" which is to "Make Number 908 Steal Steal Liquor from Shelbyville Stonecutters". It takes 10 hours.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Mizzion Accompwished! Permission to say: “hic”.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Homer! You’re back? But where is all the liquor you were supposed to steal?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I've cleverly hidden it all *hic* in my, whacha-call, liver.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Shhhhhh. *wink*
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png How on earth could you drink that much alcohol?!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I'll tell you the secret, c'mere…
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I need to go to a hospital now.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Bye-bye. Blackie-outie…
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png ...

Game of Stones Pt. 11[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png At last, the Stonecutter table! It looks as glorious as it once--wait, what's this?
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png “Homer Rules!” Number 908, did you write on our beautiful table?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Well, I am the Chosen One, so I do kind of rule…
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Sand it off. And then place it. We've got some singing to do!
The player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 11" which is to "Build Stonecutter Table", "Make Number 908 Sing the Stonecutter Song", and "Make Number 36 Sing the Stonecutter Song". It takes 12 hours.

Game of Stones Pt. 12[edit]

Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png To ensure our continued success, we’ve commissioned a monument to honor the dark lord!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Behold, Satan's Anvil!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png What?! So the Stonecutters are actually a secret satanist society?
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Actually no. I’m afraid of satan - gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png I just think it would look really badass to have a 120 foot stone devil in our courtyard.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Amen! Looking cool is my religion, too!
The player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 12" which is to "Build Satan's Anvil".

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Dad? What have you been up to lately?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Well, I certainly haven't been helping a madman brainwash the world, if that's what you're insinuating.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Hmm, the townspeople have been acting very strange lately. This looks like a job for Lisa Simpson, Meddling Kid!
The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 1" which is to "Make Lisa Look for Clues". It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png This is interesting: some sort of… stone. Its edges are straight as if it had been… cut.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png And there's something etched onto the surface. I've seen this symbol before, but where?
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Lisa? You know you're talking to yourself, right?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Yes, I'm figuring out a mystery!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png OOh, that's fine then. The doctor says as long as you KNOW there's no one there, you're still considered normal.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png ...

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I need to find out more about this symbol. This calls for a trip to the library.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png And while I'm there, I'll see if they got that new translation of War and Peace. I mean, a girl's got to have some fun!
The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 2" which is to "Build Springfield Library" and "Make Lisa Research the Symbol". It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Strange. This symbol pops up at turning points in American History.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Here it is at a pilgrim settlement.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Here it is at the Battle Of Gettysburg.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Here it is when that Real Housewife, Nene, got cast on an actual TV show and--
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png *gasp* Dad?! What are you doing in the library?!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Uh... I'm certainly not reading this giant book about witchcraft and Masonic Lodges!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I'll just put this back on the bottom shelf…
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Dad! When you bend over, your pants slide down and the whole library can see your butt cr--
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png OH MY GOD!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Your birthmark! It's the symbol!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I call it my Stonecutter mark.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png The Stonecutters! Of course! Now I just have to figure out--
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Dad, please! Pull your pants up and your shirt down.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Aw, you sound just like your mother.

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Bart, I need you to break into the Stonecutter Lodge. It's illegal and Mom and Dad can't know about it.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png You had me at “it's illegal."
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Great. We'll do it after Mom and Dad fall asleep.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png You're coming? This better not be one of those things that's supposed to make us “bond” as brother and sister.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png No! I swear this is just about committing a crime!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Although, I can't guarantee that I won't feel closer to you after it's all done.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png If you do, keep it to yourself.
The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 3" which is to "Make Bart Steal Stonecutter Documents" and "Make Lisa Steal Stonecutter Documents". It takes 12 hours.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Good, we've photographed all their secret files. Let's get out of here.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Right after I finish this sandwich…
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png No! That's just stealing! We're not going to—Ooh, is that Portobello mushrooms and hummus?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Well, seeing as how we've already broken and entered… Gimme that!

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Okay, we've completed our little caper, now comes the fun part: Reading through the documents and analyzing the data!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Yes. That does sound fun.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I'll read in my room. With the sound of a very loud video game to cover the noise of all my, you know, analyzing.
The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 4" which is to "Make Lisa Deduce the Stonecutter Plot" and "Make Bart "Help" Lisa". It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Bart! I've figured it out. The leader of The Stonecutters is keeping all the people of Springfield distracted with inane tasks!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Huh? Sorry, I wasn't listening -- I was Paintballing in the Brown House.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Well, while you and everyone else are pre-occupied, Number 1 is going to pass a law that gives control of Springfield to The Stonecutters!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Holy cats! We saved the town! High-five, Sister! Dang! We are so good at figuring out crap!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png WE? All you did was shoot Nerf darts at my door and sent me videos of yourself farting. I'm taking the credit for this one!

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I'll show Lisa she can't take all the credit just ‘cause she did all the work.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Hey, Number 1! I'm the son of a Stonecutter. Doesn't that automatically make me a Stonecutter, too?
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Listen, little boy, the rules have become somewhat fluid since the dawning of the magic purple crayon.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png And soon, I alone will decide who is “automatically” anything.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Not after my sister tells the town about your stupid law-changing plan!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png She knows about that?
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Find out what else your sister knows. After all, you are automatically one of us, right, Lil Stonecutter?
The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 5" which is to "Make Bart Spy on Lisa". It takes 24 hours.


The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 6[edit]

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Number 1, Lisa is planning a big rally! She's made a bunch of Anti-Stonecutters signs!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Pfft. A semi-satanic lodge with absolute power can't be taken down by hand-drawn signs!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png They're not hand-drawn. She printed them on her computer and glued them to really sturdy cardboard.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Oh. Okay, those you're going to have to destroy. They sound like they would really “pop.”
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I don't know. That seems kind of mean.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Come now, Bart, have you any idea the benefits of powerful friends?
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png You could trade in Milhouse for a sidekick who is every bit as subservient but less asthmatic and not afraid of birds.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png It's like you overheard my birthday wish.
The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 6" which is to "Make Bart Sabotage Lisa's Plan". It takes 8 hours.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Bart! What are you doing? Why are you throwing paint-filled water-balloons at my signs?
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I didn't enjoy doing this, Lisa…
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Well, the ones I threw from the roof did look pretty cool when they exploded.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png But I had to betray you in order to achieve a higher goal...
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Betraying Milhouse.

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 7[edit]

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I did what you wanted. Now give me my Stonecutter outfit and new sidekick.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Yes, yes, you'll receive all membership materials when you turn 21 and are able to actually be in the lodge.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png No fair! It'll take forever just to turn 11. I'm never going to turn 21!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png A lodge is no place for a child. We serve alcohol and occasionally our servers dance out of their blouses.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Fine. I'll see myself out.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Through your secret archives!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png That's the long way out, but suit yourself.
The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 7" which is to "Make Bart Plot Revenge on Stonecutters". It takes 24 hours.

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 8[edit]

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png What do you want, Bart? Are you here to paint-balloon my saxophone?
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I'm here to apologize. And to give you information to help you take down The Stonecutters.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I'm not sure I accept your apology.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png But I will accept your information. What'cha got?
The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 8" which is to "Make Bart Share Plans with Lisa". It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png The Stonecutters don't allow women and children to join…
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png …so all we have to do is get women and children to vote against the Stonecutter law! That's brilliant!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I was going to say we build an “adult-man-killing”-robot. But your idea sounds less messy... and more possible.

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 9[edit]

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Unfortunately, there aren't many women and children in Springfield since the explosion. And most of them are Premium characters.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png No worries. We have plenty of disguises. All the women and kids can vote a bunch of times!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png That's one of those ideas that is so stupid it just might work.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I get those a lot!
The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 9" which is to "Make Women and Children Vote Against Stonecutter Law (x20)". It takes 8 hours.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png The proposition has failed by a landslide!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png What?! But then all our plans have been thwarted!!!!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png We have underestimated the political influence of child-sized pirates and the bearded women who wipe their faces.

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 10[edit]

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png We managed to keep those power-hungry wolves at bay.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png But how can we remain vigilant when we're constantly distracted by texts, celebrity nip slips and electronic candy?
Message Perhaps, for a few minutes a day, you should take a break from your devices. Just to make sure you're not being controlled by a secret organization.
Tapped Out EA Icon.png Please ignore the previous message. Everything is fine. Never stop playing. Here are some donuts to squelch any doubt.
The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 10" and is rewarded with Donut Tapped Out.png20.

Quash Those Who Trespass Against Us[edit]

Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Who are those dudes in the creepy hoods?
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Good lord! It's The Order! The sworn enemy of The Stonecutters!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png In times past, The Stonecutters and The Order were allies. But they were torn apart by a disagreement over chopstick etiquette.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png We must tap them before they tap us.
Message Tap the Robed Figures walking around town to remove them from your town and earn bonus Emblems!
The player receives "Quash Those Who Trespass Against Us".

Trust No One[edit]

Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Now, we must spy on Other Springfields to learn what they know about us.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Why? We've always gotten along. Sending Valentines and Christmas cards and playfully vandalizing each other.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Yes, but each Springfield now has a version of me. And I know for a fact that I've got it in for me.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png This twisty thinking is making me sleepy. Can we make the Sky Finger do our spying? I'm going to nap.
Message Visit Other Springfields and use Friend Actions to Spy on them for bonus Emblems!
The player receives "Trust No One".
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Excellent spying, Sky Finger! Information should flow free and be available to all.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Except OUR information. We don't need anybody being all up in our stuff! Stop other people from spying on us!
Message Stop any attempts to spy on your Springfield. The faster you do it, the more Emblems you'll earn!

It's Just Swamp Gas Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Number 51's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png Pulse rate normal in all three hearts. Skin clammy and deep green. Fingertip tentacles still sucky…
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png I appear unaffected by the nuclear blast that obliterated Springfield.
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png Commencing celebration protocol. Imbibing fungal excrement commonly referred to as "beer."
The player receives "It's Just Swamp Gas Pt. 1" which is to "Make Number 51 Drink Fungal Excrement". It takes 8 hours.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hey there! Fellow beer lover, huh?
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png Yes, I find fungal excrement pleasant in taste and similar in color to human urine.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Now you're making ME thirsty!
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png Sit with me and I will purchase your glass of drink for you.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png You are the classiest friend I've ever had!

It's Just Swamp Gas Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Number 51's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png My heart lights are fading – I require sustenance!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Sustenants? Eh, I'm not really into ethnic foods. Let's grab a Krusty Burger. That'll light your heart right up!
The player receives "It's Just Swamp Gas Pt. 2" which is to "Make Number 51 Consume Engineered "Meat" Product". It takes 1 hour.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hey there! Fellow beer lover, huh?
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png This “burger” contains no organic matter whatsoever. It is mostly cow-flavored shredded plastic.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png That's right. Everybody SAYS they support recycling, but no one puts their money where their mouth is.... by which I mean, eat used plastic bottles.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Complain all you want –no refunds!
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png You've misunderstood me, Clown. The twin aromas of floor cleaner and burnt hair remind me of Martian cuisine.
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png My compliments to the gas cloud who prepares your foodstuffs.

It's Just Swamp Gas Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Number 51's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png These Krusty Burgers have made me homesick. They have also given me cramps in two of my stomachs.
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png I shall call my mothership and report on my marital status and whether or not I am wearing sunscreen.
The player receives "It's Just Swamp Gas Pt. 3" which is to "Make Number 51 Phone Home". It takes 1 hour.


It's Just Swamp Gas Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Number 51's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png Homer, you are my friend and so it is with heavy heart that I tell you the mothership is coming to take me back to Mars.
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png Also, they plan to enslave all of humankind.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Great! ‘cept… I'm not listening ‘cause… TV is on…
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png Your apathy is troubling. However, you have given me an idea. Scooch over!
The player receives "It's Just Swamp Gas Pt. 4" which is to "Make Number 51 Watch Old B-Movies". It takes 24 hours.
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png That movie made no sense! If water kills aliens why would they invade a planet that is 71% ocean?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ooh look, there's a sequel. Shall we watch it?
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png Nuke another bag of kettle corn and hand me a throw blanket, we are watching this bad boy!

It's Just Swamp Gas Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Number 51's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png I have devised a plan to save your planet!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Oh, good! I don't want to die or see my loved ones die.
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png I shall edit footage from horror movies to convince the Martian War Council that Earth has already been conquered.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Really? That doesn't seem like a very good plan. Maybe I'll just hide behind my loved ones.
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png I forgot to mention, I have mad editing skills.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Oh. Then we should be fine.
The player receives "It's Just Swamp Gas Pt. 5" which is to "Make Number 51 Create Invasion "Documentary"". It takes 8 hours.

It's Just Swamp Gas Pt. 6[edit]

After tapping on Number 51's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Why are you working so hard to save the Human Race?
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png I have developed a deep affection for your flawed but noble species.
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png Also, I have a gift certificate for a spa day that I have not used yet. I do not want it to go to waste.
The player receives "It's Just Swamp Gas Pt. 6" which is to "Make Number 51 Send Invasion "Documentary" to the Mothership". It takes 4 hours.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Did your plan work?
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png They believed that the footage was of another alien race conquering this planet.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Woo hoo!
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png However, that did not discourage them from wanting to conquer the earth themselves.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png D'oh!
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png But the romantic subplot between divorced federal agents who reignite their passion made the council think that humans would be too annoying to deal with.

It's Just Swamp Gas Pt. 7[edit]

After tapping on Number 51's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 51 Icon.png To Earth, its wonderful peoples and heavenly hot stone massages!
The player receives "It's Just Swamp Gas Pt. 7" which is to "Make Number 51 Drink Fungal Excrement", "Make Number 51 Consume "Meat" Product", and "Make Number 51 Watch TV". It takes 1, 8 and 24 hours.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png So is nobody going to say how strange it is that a Martian is just wandering around Springfield?
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png We have leprechauns that poop money and run away if you tap them – nobody thinks that's weird.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I actually do... but I see your point.

For Your Security[edit]

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png The town has gotten so big its hard to find people when I need to hit them up to buy church raffle tickets.
Tapped Out Ned Icon.png Well, Marge, you can always use the Town Census.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png But a Census just tells you where people live, it doesn't know where people are at all times.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Er, uh, actually the new NSA-ified census knows where everyoneis and what they are doing all er, uh, time.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Hmm, I'm sure that has sinister repercussions I should consider...
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png But I can't get past how much easier raffle sales are going to be! Yay!
Message You can now use the Town Hall to spy... er... find anyone in your Springfield!
The player receives "For Your Security" which is to "Use the Town Census to Find Someone".

The Ark of the Stonecovenant Pt. 1[edit]

Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png It is foretold that whosoever completes the 24 Sacred Tasks will unlock the untold riches of... The Ark of the Stonecovenant!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png This looks like a bunch of kid-drawings. And not like a Lisa-kid-drawing, like a Bart or below.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Those are ancient hieroglyphs dating back to the very first Stonecutters.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png To unlock the secrets of the parchment and open the Ark, one must possess great intellect or be super into puzzles and stuff.
Message Tap on the Sacred Parchment to view the tasks available to you and try solve the pictogram puzzles. New puzzles unlock each day.
The player receives "The Ark of the Stonecovenant Pt. 1".

The Ark of the Stonecovenant Pt. 2[edit]

Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png At last, the treasure of the Ark is within my grasp!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Wait, wait, wait, I thought the person who figured out the puzzle got the treasure.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Yes, well, we're all going to be richer once the Ark is opened.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Whether we simply share in the experience of opening it or whether we grab handfuls of things and run away.
The player receives "The Ark of the Stonecovenant Pt. 2" which is to "Build Ark of the Stonecovenant".
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png There's just a piece of paper in here. We've been “One Tin Soldiered!”
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png What?! Let me see!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png “True wealth is measured by the number of people who call you friend.”
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png That is bulls*&*t!!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png The chest it came in is kind of nice. Sturdy.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Oh goodie! We got a new box!

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 36[edit]

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Number 36, I have a task of the utmost importance.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Lay it on me, I owe you guys for “taking care” of that little incident between Mr. Teeny and Barack Obama's dog.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Like every powerful secret society, The Stonecutters are highly dependent on a subsidy from the Corn lobby.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png We need you to sell corn in your restaurants.
Tapped Out Krusty Icon.png Dude, everything in my restaurant is made of corn and some kind of adhesive. The buns, the pickles, even the Laughy Meal toys.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Excellent. Now figure out a way to double that.
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 36" which is to "Make Number 36 Promote Corn-sumerism". It takes 4 hours.

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 600[edit]

After tapping on Skinner's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Skinner, as Chosen One I'm ordering you to alter some records at the school.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png But Chosen One, I could lose my job for tampering with school records.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Besides, Bart needs to learn that his actions have consequences.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Who said anything about the boy? I want you to make Lisa's "F" in Physical Education go away.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Lisa?! Anything for her!
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png Her test scores are the only thing that keeps us from having to put quotation marks around the word “school.”
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 600" which is to "Make Number 600 Tamper with School Records". It takes 4 hours.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Oh my goodness! I'm going to be presented with an award for excellence. I'll to have to shift some things around on my award shelf.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Wait, this can't be right. It says I'm getting an award for outstanding performance in Physical Education?!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Ooh, I'll bet those Stonecutters are behind this.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Still. An award is an award. I better go scrunch some trophies closer together.

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 85[edit]

After tapping on Willie's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Willie Icon.png Ach! It's great being a Stonecutter, but I hate having to wear this silly robe.
Tapped Out Willie Icon.png How kin ye feel like a man when ye're wearing a floor-length gown?
Tapped Out Willie Icon.png Ah bet with a few alterations Willie could turn this girly dress into a manly skirt!
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 85" which is to "Make Number 85 Fashion Robes into a Kilt". It takes 4 hours.

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 21[edit]

After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Ah, having a cocktail with the guys.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png It's nice to not be the booze monkey who has to jump every time someone says, “I need another beer!”
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png I need another beer!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Moe, could you shamble down to the basement and fetch another keg?
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Why me? I outrank a lot of these guys!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png I know, but the kegs are large and must be carried on one's back. We need a man with a good hump between his shoulders.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Well, okay. I guess it's nice to be wanted for my body.
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 21" which is to "Make Number 21 Restock the Stonecutter Keggery". It takes 4 hours.

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 50[edit]

After tapping on Wiggum's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png You asked to see me, O great 1?
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Ah yes, Number 50, I'm embarrassed to say I've had a few more parking tickets.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png But how? You have the ultimate parking sticker. You can park anywhere. Even in your office building.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png We had to change all kinds of building codes to let you drive through the lobby like that.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Yes, but although I'm usually allowed to park near hydrants, I cannot when firemen are actively fighting an apartment fire.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png It looks like they cited you for “parking on top of their hoses.” And for your car being on fire. I'll take care of these right away.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png And I'll make sure those firemen get only the worst fires from now on!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png You needn't bother.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png But you know that thing where women think all firemen are sexy?
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Yeah.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Maybe not so much for those guys.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Got it.
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 85" which is to "Make Number 50 Dispose of Parking Tickets". It takes 4 hours.

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 111[edit]

After tapping on Grampa's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png Where am I? Why am I wearing this robe? Who put this chicken wing in my hand?
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png You are a Stonecutter, this an event planning meeting and you were giving the “ice” report.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Good. Thank you, Number 111.
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png You know, in my day we didn't need ice! Room temperature – that was the latest craze!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Oh, dear God…
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png Back then, we worked hard to out-racist each other and developed new and exciting ways to explain away science…
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png We must review our retirement/euthanasia policy.
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 111" which is to "Make Number 111 Reminisce How Things Were Better". It takes 4 hours.

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 22[edit]

After tapping on Quimby's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Hello Number 22, my dear friend! How are you enjoying your mayorship?
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png I am loving it. Thank you. It was the most amazing Secret Santa gift anyone could hope for.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png I'm just glad you like it. While I'm here, would it be possible to get some by-laws passed?
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Whatever you want. Just tell my girl.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Don't you want to look these over? Some of them are rather nefarious.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Then peddle it somewhere else because I have a responsibility to my constituents.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Good one, 22! Those improv classes are paying off.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Did I, er, say it right? Constituents? That's a word, isn't it?
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 22" which is to "Make Number 22 Sneak in a Bylaw". It takes 4 hours.

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 66[edit]

After tapping on Brockman's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon.png I bring grim tidings, Your 1-ness.
Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon.png Lisa Simpson and her Anti-Stonecutter rallies have gotten a lot of people asking questions about this thing of ours.
Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon.png I'm afraid the network is feeling pressured to take a closer look at The Stonecutters.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Looks like this town needs a little distraction. Perhaps a fear-inducing crackpot theory or three.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Think you can handle that?
Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon.png If I can't, then I don't deserve to call myself a small market local newscaster.
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 66" which is to "Make Number 66 Broadcast "Crackpot" Theories". It takes 4 hours.
Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon.png Tonight: Is the moon slowly killing us?
Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon.png Also, does the color of your pants affect your ability to father a child?
Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon.png Later, we'll learn about pets who turn against their owners in the third part of our series: “Terror In The Hamster-ball”

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 2[edit]

After tapping on Dr. Hibbert's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Oh Number 2, masterminding evil plots has really taken its toll on me.
Tapped Out Dr. Hibbert Icon.png You just need a little perking up. I'll schedule a liver transplant for you.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Is my liver failing?!
Tapped Out Dr. Hibbert Icon.png No, but it's nice to have new stuff.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Well, all right. But aren't there waiting lists for these sorts of things?
Tapped Out Dr. Hibbert Icon.png Pshaw! You let me worry about that.
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 2" which is to "Make Number 2 Re-jig Waiting Lists". It takes 4 hours.

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 59[edit]

After tapping on Smithers's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Number 59, I notice that when the other members talk you seem to pay very close attention.
Tapped Out Smithers Icon.png Not to every member, just the distinguished ones like Mr. Burns… and you.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Would you mind taking minutes during our next meeting?
Tapped Out Smithers Icon.png I'll hang on your every word.
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 59" which is to "Make Number 59 Take Meeting Minutes". It takes 4 hours.

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 12[edit]

After tapping on Lenny's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png Man, being in a secret cult is the best!
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png It ain't gonna be secret much longer if you keep inviting people to join.
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Do you really want all these idiots to get in?
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png No! I hate them all. I don't want any of them to get in. It's just…
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png I think I'm addicted to hazing.
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 59" which is to "Make Number 12 Haze Initiate". It takes 4 hours.


Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 14[edit]

After tapping on Carl's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Hey, Lenny, they want me to pose for the cover of the Stonecutter’s Annual Report!
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png Do you think they asked you because they’re getting heat for not allowing women and they’re trying to seem more… inclusive?
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png No! They chose me cause I’m photogenic.
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png Though they want me to pose in a wheelchair and wear a shirt that says, “Trans-gender”.
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png Work it, Girl!
Tapped Out Carl Icon.png You know I will.
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 14" which is to "Make Number 14 Do Stonecutters Publicity Piece". It takes 4 hours.

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 314[edit]

After tapping on Frink's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png Number 314, I need you to build a “doomsday” weapon.
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png We're the only secret organization without one and it's getting embarrassing.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Certainly. There are basically two ways we could go…
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png There is implosion, with the sucking and whooshing and everyone crowded into a teeny-tiny speck…
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Or there is explosion with the booms and the flashes and everything gets waaaay more spread out… very roomy…
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png I leave the choice to you. Have fun with it!
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 314" which is to "Make Number 314 Create a Doomsday Weapon". It takes 4 hours.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Good glay-vin! I've done it! I've built a device which will alter the universe as we know it!
Tapped Out Number 1 Icon.png How does it work?
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png It's a “What if?” device. I simply set it to: “What if the big bang missed?” and everything changes.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png Until we use it we won't know exactly what happens.
Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon.png We could be erased from existence or we could look the same but with noses right next to our butts. Which would be… bad, too. Ahoyvin.

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 79[edit]

After tapping on Disco Stu's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Disco Stu Icon.png Lodge Brothers from other Lodge Mothers. I've brought you the gift of disco.
Tapped Out Disco Stu Icon.png Dance floor, strobe, and DJ – everything to make this a Boogie Night.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png But we're all dudes. Who are we going to dance with?
Tapped Out Disco Stu Icon.png Turn the lights down as low as they go and you can't see that you're dancing alone!
Tapped Out Disco Stu Icon.png That's what Disco Stu does every night.
Tapped Out Disco Stu Icon.png Every. Single. Night.
Tapped Out Disco Stu Icon.png Disco Stu just realized he has crippling depression.
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 79" which is to "Make Number 79 Host Disco Night at the Lodge". It takes 4 hours.

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 67[edit]

After tapping on Arnie Pye's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Hello Number 67.
Tapped Out Arnie Pye Icon.png Gah! Every time I hear my name it reminds me that Brockman, that overpaid hairstyle, is one rank higher than me!
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png You know, if you were able to, er uh, snarl traffic in the district of my political rival, I may be able to, er-uh, bump you up a few numbers.
Tapped Out Arnie Pye Icon.png If there's one thing I'm good at, it's ruining someone else's day. Traffic, get ready to stand still!
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 67" which is to "Make Number 67 Redirect Traffic Flow". It takes 4 hours.
Tapped Out Arnie Pye Icon.png I did it! Now give me my new number!
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png You idiot! You taunted Brockman the whole time. On the air! You used my name!
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Now I have to get an aide to change their name to Quimby so I can pin the rap on them.
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png I'm starting to think that punishing commuters for petty slights committed by their elected officials might not be, er ah, worth it.

Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 5[edit]

After tapping on Jasper's exclamation mark
Tapped Out Jasper Icon.png Well, Homer, looks like you saved the best for last!
Tapped Out Jasper Icon.png You better believe that's a paddlin'!
The player receives "Welcome to The Stonecutters, Number 5" which is to "Make Number 908 Get Paddled". It takes 16 hours.

Number 1's tasks[edit]

Each of Number 1's four daily tasks is rewarded with Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png. The reward is reset at midnight each day. If completed before midnight, one task gives Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png150, 2 tasks gives Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png200, 3 tasks gives Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png250, and 4 tasks gives Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png400 for a possible total of Stonecutter Emblems Tapped Out.png1,000 per day.

Task[edit]

1 hour task Group
Drink Extra Cold Squishee Glutton, Dimwit, Youngster
Eat A Gulpwich Glutton, Dimwit, Youngster, Kook, Pessimist
Buy Overpriced Coffee Enterpreneur, Celebrity, Civil Servant, High Roller, Kook, Pessimist, Senior
Disco In The Bad Dream House Brainiac, Entrepreneur, Celebrity, Civil Servant, Criminal, Glutton, High Roller, Dimwit, Youngster, Kook, Pessimist, Saint, Senior
Take Guided Volcano Lair Tour Brainiac, Entrepreneur, Celebrity, Civil Servant, Criminal, Glutton, High Roller, Dimwit, Youngster, Kook, Pessimist, Saint, Senior
2 hour task Group
Study The Bible Criminal, Saint
Attempt Atomic Fission (Requires Super Collider) Brainiac
Get A Laughy Meal Toy Brainiac, Entrepreneur, Celebrity, Civil Servant, Criminal, Glutton, High Roller, Dimwit, Youngster, Kook, Pessimist, Saint, Senior
Repent Entrepreneur, Celebrity, Civil Servant, Criminal, Glutton, High Roller, Pessimist, Saint
Pick Up Mysterious Panel Brainiac, Entrepreneur, Celebrity, Civil Servant, Criminal, Glutton, High Roller, Dimwit, Youngster, Kook, Pessimist, Saint, Senior
Watch An Action Flick Brainiac, Entrepreneur, Celebrity, Civil Servant, Criminal, Glutton, High Roller, Dimwit, Youngster, Kook, Pessimist, Saint, Senior
4 hour task Group
Clean Up The Brown House Brainiac, Entrepreneur, Celebrity, Civil Servant, Criminal, Glutton, High Roller, Dimwit, Youngster, Kook, Pessimist, Saint, Senior
Give To Charity Entrepreneur, High Roller, Pessimist, Saint
Trade In Action Figure Collection Youngster, Kook
Write Fan Fiction Brainiac, Kook
Chat With Old People Glutton, Saint, Senior
Eat A Bombe Cuisine Brainiac, Celebrity, Glutton, High Roller, Dimwit, Kook
6 hour task Group
Hide In Simpsons Basement Celebrity, Criminal, Kook, Pessimist
Milk A Cow Entrepreneur, Celebrity, Civil Servant, Criminal, High Roller, Dimwit, Youngster, Kook, Pessimist, Saint, Senior
Take A Math Quiz Brainiac, Entrepreneur, Celebrity, Civil Servant, Criminal, Glutton, High Roller, Dimwit, Youngster, Kook, Pessimist, Saint, Senior
Get Frisked Entrepreneur, Celebrity, Criminal, Kook, Pessimist
Appear On A Chat Show Brainiac, Entrepreneur, Celebrity, Civil Servant, Criminal, High Roller
Complain To A Doctor Brainiac, Glutton, Kook. Pessimist, Senior

Character Groups[edit]

Main Article: The Simpsons: Tapped Out Character Groups