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The Harpooned Heart

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
The Harpooned Heart
The harpooned heart 2.png
Book Information
Author: Marge Simpson
Genre: Romance
First appearance: "Diatribe of a Mad Housewife"

The Harpooned Heart is a romance novel written by Marge Simpson.

The book has been made into a spoken form. Marge also began to write a sequel for the book, titled The Harpooned Heart II: Thunder Down Under.


In 1840 Temperance Barrows lives on the island of Nantucket and is married to a loveless, selfish and uncaring whaler named Captain Mordecai. In addition to his personal shortcomings, Mordecai is such an inept fisherman that he hardly makes a catch for the family.

One day while doing laundry, Temperance meets Cyrus Manly, a man who is new on the island. The two start a relationship, without the knowledge of Captain Mordecai, and it soon turns into an emotional affair. Mordecai soon finds out about the affair, confronts Cyrus and traps him at a cliff edge. Mordecai then impales Cyrus with his harpoon, sending him down the cliff and into the water, where the harpoon hooks onto a whale. Just then, Temperance arrives at the scene and Captain Mordecai gloats at his victory, but fails to notice that the rope from the harpoon is caught around his leg. As the whale swims away, the rope goes taut and pulls Mordecai off of the cliff and into the water with the whale and Cyrus. Temperance watches from the cliff as the whale drags the two men she has loved into the depths.


Temperance Barrows was based on Marge and Captain Mordecai on Homer. Originally, Captain Mordecai was depicted as a caring, loving and successful whaler, but Homer's oafish behavior and indifference to Marge's writing prompted her to rewrite the character of Captain Mordecai as a selfish slob to resemble Homer.

Marge based Cyrus Manly on Ned Flanders, after he gave Marge a brand new free stud detector since they were two for one at Krusty Home Depot so Ned got an extra one for the Simpsons.


When Marge's book was released, tongues were wagging all over Springfield as people speculated that the book was really about Homer, Marge and Ned. Otto noticed that "Temperance" changed to "Marge" for three paragraphs, lending truth to the speculations. Homer, however, remained indifferent to the gossip as he hadn't read the book (but let everyone think that he had). When Homer finally read the book, he immediately sought out Ned Flanders and demanded to talk to him. Ned, thinking that Homer was angry at him, fled the scene, but Homer caught up to him at a cliff edge, in a scene strikingly similar to Mordecai's confrontation with Cyrus in the book. Ned, expecting to be killed, resigned himself to his fate, but was surprised when Homer said that he wanted Ned's advice on how to be a better husband as the book had made him aware of his failures. Marge arrived at the scene expecting to find Ned dead (or Ned and Homer locked in mortal combat), but was relieved to see Ned giving Homer "good husband" tips while Homer listened raptly.



Donut Homer.png The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened or existed.

The Simpsons: Tapped Out[edit]

This section is transcluded from The Simpsons: Tapped Out decorations/Billboards and signs. To edit it, please edit the transcluded page.
Harpooned Heart Billboard
Image Cost Reward Sell price Conformity increase Availability Unique? Dimensions - D x W
Harpooned Heart Billboard.png FREE N/A Tapped Out Cross.png Vanity +100 Love and War
Stranger Than Eviction Pt. 3
Tapped Out Tick.png 1 x 4
Internal Name Tiles ID
HarpoonedHeartBillboard Grass, Pavement, Boardwalk Section, Ornate Pier Section, Dirt, Sand, Krustyland Road 241501