Difference between revisions of "Late Show with David Letterman"

Revision as of 22:04, February 19, 2014

The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened or existed.

Late Show Top Ten List is a regular segment of the television program Late Show with David Letterman where a celebrity reads out a top ten list. Homer Simpson has done three lists, one in 2008, one in 2010 and another in 2012.

Reasons why I, Homer Simpson, should be the next President

1. Kick-ass inauguration party! Bring a six pack and you're in.
2. My vice president will be Mayor McCheese.
3. My middle name isn't Hussein... anymore.
4. I will be the secretary of donuts.
5. I will appoint a secretary of donuts.
6. I have enormous experience apologizing for failed decisions.
7. I will take full advantage of the free food that comes with the job.
8. Fox News is already on my side.
9. With an oval office, I can't bump into anything.
10. I'm smarter than the last guy.

Things I've learned from the last 20 years of television

1. Television is not a vast wasteland, it's a cesspool.
2. Ever notice all morning weathermen are as fat as a dump truck?
3. There is no good way to tell your spouse you want to go on Wife Swap.
4. No one on Earth is funnier than Howie Mandel.
5. Sitting close to the TV is a cheap alternative to a tanning salon.
6. Sadly, Cougar Town, is not a show about people getting attacked by giant cats.
7. Widescreen televisions were invented to accommodate Keith Olbermann's enormous head.
8. Thanks to iTunes, now you can get free TV shows for just 99 cents.
9. Do not buy sushi from the Home Shopping Network.
10. Better to be bald than have a hairpiece like Letterman.

Reasons I, Homer Simpson, am proud to be an American

Aired November 8, 2012.

1. We're the first country to leave trash on the Moon.
2. Even a dumb guy can have his own show, right Dave?
3. Not a nation of blowhard teabags like England.
4. We own Hawaii.
5. No other country has cars, I assume.
6. It's the home of French fries, German chocolate cake, and Korean barbeque.
7. Our flag doesn't have any weird stuff on it.
8. America has won every Super Bowl.
9. Warnings on cups tell you hot things are hot.
10. High obesity rates make me feel better about my body.

Outtakes

On November 9th, FOX released some outtakes from the bit.

• Our national religion is no longer voodoo.
• Superman and Batman live here.
• Deep-fried Snickers.
• No law requires me to wear pants.

External links

• November 8, 2012 at YouTube
• November 8, 2012 outtakes at YouTube