Difference between revisions of "Too Much of a Good Thing"

Revision as of 09:24, May 23, 2024

Too Much of a Good Thing is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Christmas 2013 content update.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After starting the update The Holidays are here again? It seems like only yesterday I was tapping on my house and changing the design from “Christmas” to “plain.” And so much snow! Hey, EA! Ever hear of global warming? The whole “White Christmas” thing doesn’t really happen anymore. Lisa, everyone knows EA is overrun with global warming deniers. Every cent of profit from their games goes to support anti-environment think tanks. Fun fact! There's a big crate outside our house addressed to “Resident.” Is that for us? Well, I don’t mean to brag, but… yeah, it’s true. Your old man is a “Resident.” Been one my whole life. It’s pretty sweet. Sorry we never told you you’re descended from Residents. Your mother and I didn’t want it to go to your head. You’d naturally want to lord it over other, less-fortunate kids at school. Yeah, thanks a bunch. I really just want to know what’s inside the crate. Task: "Build the Present Depot". Place: Present Depot Two thousand bucks shipping and handling for just a funny-looking metal coat rack? It's a Christmas Tree… I think. Quest reward: 20 and 10

Pt. 2

After completing Pt. 1 There's a memo attached to the bottom of the purchase order slip. “Dear Resident, due to a stack overflow error with the Naughty/Nice record of one Bartholomew J. Simpson, all of Springfield has been erroneously rated “Naughty” for the last ten years.” “To rectify the situation, Claus Co. is required to provide presents for the town of Springfield until this deficit have been made up.” “Please accept this present delivery depot. Best Regards, The Claus Co. Public Relations Department. Also, Global Warming is a hoax.” Stupid stack overflow errors! Hey programmers, give your recursive functions the correct termination conditions! Sheesh! Uh, Dad? How do you know any of those words? I don’t! But the people who write for me are colossal nerds. They think stuff like that’s hilarious. Stupid nerds! Task: "Collect Presents" (x10). Quest reward: 20 and 10

Pt. 3

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark They're full of gift cards… I love getting gift cards! They let me choose the gift I want. Or, I can put them in a dresser drawer, forget they exist, and get nothing. Which is what happens 99.9% of the time. The choice is mine! They say they’re redeemable at a store called “Claus Co.” Claus Co.? Never heard of them. But then again, there’s lots of things I’ve never heard of. Like the Higgs Boson, for example. I’ve sure never heard of that thing! Anyway, free stuff is free stuff. Let’s celebrate! Task: "Make Homer Make a Snowman". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 16 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Make Snow Angels". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 6 hours. Quest reward: 20 and 10

Pt. 4

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Hey, Apu! Can I pay for stuff at your store with Claus Co. gift cards? Do you think me a fool? Those gift cards are a totally unknown commodity. They could be worthless tomorrow. The U.S. dollar, on the other hand, is worthless today. Of course I’ll take your mystery cards! I’d be a fool not to! Task: "Make Apu Set up a Gift Card Promotion". The job takes place at a Kwik-E-Mart and takes 8 hours. Quest reward: 20 and 10

Pt. 5

After tapping on Ned's exclamation mark Yee-haw! Look at all this money! I’m rich! Rich, rich, rich! And I’ll use my newfound wealth to help the needy! Because they’re poor! Poor, poor, poor! Mr. Flanders, your charitable impulses are admirable. But everyone is being bombarded with free money. Why not spend those gift cards on yourself for once? Well, there is one purchase I’ve been dreaming of. But it’s so totally indulgent… Task: "Make Ned Buy New Throw Pillows". The job takes place at Flanders House and takes 12 hours. Quest reward: 20 and 10

Pt. 6

After tapping on Apu's exclamation mark Ah, Christmas. That frenetic orgy of desperate, credit-ruining spending. How it warms the heart of the non-Christian shop owner. If these Jesus Boosters just enjoyed the season, it would be fine. But they’re miserable. Every last one of them. Yoo-hoo! Christians! Your silly holidays make no sense! Now, in honor of the Hindu celebration of Pancha Ganapati, I leave this offering of fruit to the five-faced elephant god, Ganesha. Because that’s just common sense. Task: "Make Apu Celebrate Pancha Ganapati". The job takes place at a Kwik-E-Mart and takes 8 hours. Quest reward: 20 and 10

Pt. 7

After tapping on Cletus's exclamation mark I done collected me a truckload of these here gift cards. I’s got more money than God! I refer, of course, to the Hillbilly God. His name is Zeb, and he’s poor on account of his best pig got hit by lightning. This year I can buy something for all my kin. All my 1,549 siblings, uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, nieces and various combinations of the above. Task: "Make Cletus Count Up Family Members". The job takes place at Cletus's Farm and takes 24 hours. Quest reward: 20 and 10

Pt. 8

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark What, so now everyone’s rich? Not just me? How is that fair? I worked hard my whole life, stealing from talented comics everywhere. How am I gonna know I’m better than everyone else if I don’t have loads more money? In what sense are you rich? You owe millions to the mob! How do you know about my gambling debts? You’ve been very frank about it in your act. It’s fertile comedic ground. I’m not sure why the children respond to it, but they do. Task: "Make Krusty Use Credit to Pay Off Credit". The job takes place at a Krusty Burger and takes 16 hours. Quest reward: 20 and 10

Pt. 9

After tapping on Milhouse's exclamation mark Gift cards everywhere! This year, I can afford to have the kind of Christmas I’ve only dreamed of! Halls decked to perfection, figgy pudding bursting with figs, wassail freaking everywhere. Everybody donning their gayest apparel, songs of good cheer around the piano, until Dad says something that Mom mishears as a crack about her weight, and then the mood gets icy real fast… Actually, it all sounds pretty terrible. Think I’m going to find another use for these cards. Task: "Make Milhouse Build a House of Gift Cards". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 12 hours. Quest reward: 20 and 10

Pt. 10

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Come on, kids! The Simpsons are eating out tonight! What's the occasion? The happiest occasion there is: money. Only a colossal sucker eats at home when he has money! I thought you liked mom’s cooking. I love it! And wherever we go, the food won’t measure up. It will taste worse, yet be loaded with calorie-rich, high-fat gunk from parts of animals we’d rather not know exist. Yet none of that matters. Because I will be served by someone who laughs at my jokes and pretends I’m wonderful. All because they want some of my charming money. And don’t forget -- the kiddies get off-brand crayons! And paper placemats with word searches, and mazes… I do like mazes… Task: "Make Springfielders Eat at a Restaurant" (x12). The jobs take place at an Eatery and take 4 hours. After sending Homer To speed up the evening, I’d like a table close to the kitchen, and an ambulance parked right outside. After sending Apu Come on, octuplets. Let’s go put another “Kids eat Free!” restaurant out of business! After sending Ned Even Jesus ate out once in a while toward the end. After sending Cletus I hope they prepare my Possum tableside. After sending Skinner Don’t expect me to thank you. An evening with Mother is joyless no matter the setting. After sending Krusty Gimme the most expensive item on the menu, smothered in melted the-second-most-expensive-item-on-the-menu. After sending Willie If I’ve had enough whiskey, I’ll believe anything is haggis. Remember this simple rule, and the evening will go better. After sending Comic Book Guy I will have the Soylent Green. And a bottle of your finest Slurm. After sending Moe I have never tasted un-turpentined wine. After sending Profesor Frink I am working on a nutricious, lab-grown, food-replacement powder that will render restaurants obsolete. Full disclosure. After sending Otto I’ll start with a bowl of the color blue. For my main course, I’d like to watch “Strange Brew” with your coolest busboy. For dessert, the entire world holding hands and experiencing perfect knowingness. After sending Kang There’s something magical about being served your food by your food. After sending Kodos I ENJOY PAN-ASIAN CUISINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After the task is complete I’m pretty sure that was the meal that kills me. And I couldn’t be happier. No offense, Dad, but watching you and everyone in that restaurant gorge themselves was kind of disgusting. Couldn’t be happier… Quest reward: 20 and 10

Characters that can do the task are:

Pt. 11

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Moe’s is packed! This whole town is drunk! We couldn’t afford it till now. When money’s no object, why would anyone choose to be sober? We’re all super charming and fun now! And, yes, vehicular homicides have ticked up. But when you’re drunk, it just doesn’t matter. I had no idea my prices were forcing everyone into horrible, horrible sobriety. I gotta make up for that! Hey, everybody! Drinks on the house! Task: "Reach Level 15 and Build Moe's Tavern". Task: "Make Springfielders Enjoy a Beer" (x12). The jobs take place at Moe's Tavern and take 4 hours. After sending Homer I will drink your free beer. If that makes me a hero, so be it. After sending Apu Wait, you have to be 21 to buy beer? Oh, boy. I have almost certainly ruined many young lives. After sending Ned Let’s all raise a glass of this sinful devil’s brew, whose poisonous lies leadeth us astray from the path of -- hey! Where’s everybody going? After sending Cletus My Pappy had a saying: “Alkey-hall yum.” Words to live by. After sending Sideshow Mel “For a quart of ale is a dish for a king!” -- William Shakespeare. “What he said!” -- Sideshow Mel After sending Skinner I do some of my best mimeographing when I’m drunk. After sending Willie Hurry up! I can’t face mopping the boys bathroom sober. After sending Comic Book Guy One Romulan Ale, please. If you do not carry the real thing, a reasonable facsimile is Coors Light and green food coloring. After sending Moe You picked me for this job?! Check the name on the sign. You know I get free beer all the time, right? After sending Professor Frink I am also working on a beer-replacement powder that will render alcohol obsolete. Full disclosure. After sending Brockman Local newsman gets drunk and swings by his ex-wife’s house, only to discover she has definitely moved on. Story at eleven. After sending Kang Alcohol has no effect on Rigellians. I drink only to look cool. After sending Kodos I APPLAUD YOUR CRAFT BEER MOVEMENT!!!!!!!! After the task is complete That’s funny. I thought giving away beer to my neighbors would make me feel good. But, nope. It’s nice to know I haven’t been missing out on anything. Okay, you drunks. Prices just doubled! Quest reward: 20 and 10

Characters that can do the task are:

Pt. 12

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark Okay, Mom, here's my Christmas list, along with attached appendices. I’ve included an index at the back, and on page 45 you’ll find a glossary of common BB gun terms. Bart, don't you think that's a bit excessive? Even by your standards? Oh, I think we can afford to live a little, Lisa. What the hey! This year, there is no budget! The sky’s the limit! When it’s free, we can buy as much of your love as we want! Task: "Make Springfielders Shop for Loved Ones" (x12). The jobs take place at a Shop and take 6 hours. After sending Homer Marge needs a new dress. Something adventurous. Unexpected. Outside the box, if you will. I wonder if she’d look good in green… After sending Apu The fact everything is free in no way improves the experience of shopping for eight toddlers. After sending Krusty I'll take aisles 4 through 6. A team of unpaid interns from Emerson will sort it all out once I get it home. After sending Cletus No more diggin' in the trash for mah family. From now on, I gets mah trash from big box stores! After sending Rev. Lovejoy If there’s a commandment against coveting your neighbors possessions, I’ve never heard of it! After sending Dr. Nick Your loved one just died on my examining table. It sometimes happens when a doctor has to take a patient’s pulse. After sending Smithers My only loved one is a desiccated old monster who thinks only of doing evil. I’m the luckiest man on earth! After sending Comic Book Guy I have no idea what real adults buy. After sending Moe I bet you think the concept of “loved ones” is totally foreign to me. If you’re so smart, why don’t you tell me what a loved one is? And go slow -- I’m taking copious notes. After sending Hans Moleman What is the inside of a store like? After sending Carl I need a gift for Lenny, but it’s so hard shopping for the man who has nothing. After sending Kang All Rigelians suffer from a crippling shopping addiction. After sending Kodos I WILL INVEST IN A GOOD PAIR OF JEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quest reward: 20 and 10

Characters that can do the task are:

Pt. 13

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark Hey, Lisa, what's the matter, sweetie? You look upset. Something doesn't feel right about these gift cards, mom. They’re bringing out the worst in all of us. Try not to think about it. Here, have some egg nog. Thanks. Hey! This nog tastes like Dad smells when he comes home from Moe’s. Did you spike my drink? No! Of course not! You’re a child! Now finish the glass. It’ll cheer you right up. And, uh, maybe don’t operate a motor vehicle for the next two hours. Task: "Make Lisa Ponder the Meaning of the Holidays". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 24 hours. Quest reward: 20 and 10

Pt. 14

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Hey Wiggum! You want a sandwich? I bought a dozen of them. You know, like the rich guy I now am. Rich guys always buy as much of something as possible, so you can tell them apart from poors. I think it’s one of the wealthy’s best qualities. Thanks. Hey, have you noticed that when you don’t have to work for a living, you end up with a lot of time to kill? Well, I find eating sandwiches to be a rewarding way to fill the time. Other people may turn to reading, or spending time with loved ones. But as for me, sandwiches. I never realized you were so wise. I guess your wisdom gets lost beneath the innumerable dumb things you do and say. Whaaggub? Nevermind. Keep eating, friend. Keep eating. Task: "Make Springfielders Overeat" (x12). The jobs take place at an Eatery and take 8 hours. After sending Homer You heard me -- I’ll have the entire dessert cart. After sending Apu America has taught me so much about overeating. Time to put it all into action. After sending Ned The Bible says, “Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you.” I’m just doing the Man Upstairs' work. After sending Grampa This will quite possibly kill me! After sending Rev. Lovejoy Yeah, well there’s no commandment against eating till you puke, either. After sending Brockman My greatest gift as a newsman? All my weight gain occurs below desk-height. After sending Agnes Cut everything with Metamucil and let God sort 'em out! After sending Comic Book Guy I assume you have some sort of machine back there that supersizes meals? Run my French fries through it ten times. After sending Dr. Hibbert I’m still in better health than most of these lazy slobs. After sending Duffman Everything goes better with the great taste of Duff! So that’s my order: everything. After sending Sea Captain Thar be the white whale! …is what I’ll say next time I look in the mirror. After sending Kang Foolish humans! Your Cookies ‘n’ Cream is your only worthy creation! After sending Kodos EVERYTHING IS BETTER FRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quest reward: 20 and 10

Characters that can do the task are:

Pt. 15

After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark Another round, bartender! Can’t… lift… another… mug. Town… too alcoholic… for one bartender… to serve. Task: "Make Springfielders Drink Too Much". The jobs take place at Moe's Tavern and take 8 hours. After sending Cletus How much of this “beer” stuff do I have ta drink before I goes blind? Come on! After sending Otto What day is it? Please include the month and year in your answer. After sending Ned The Bible says, “Every boozy liquid that liveth shall be drink for you.” I’m paraphrasing, of course After sending Barney *BELCH!* After sending Rev. Lovejoy I know a lot of people say this, but I totally pray better after a few drinks. After sending Maude Get a few beers in me, and I’ll haunt anything. After sending Agnes Tap on somebody else! I’m drinking! After sending Comic Book Guy Where are the busty wenches? Is this a Renn Fair, or isn’t it? After sending Krabappel I just teach better with a crippling hangover. After sending Miss Springfield *BUURRPP* Give me another beer, morality clause be damned! After sending The Rich Texan Anyone want to see what I’m like when I’m even less inhibited? No? Too bad! After sending Kang Your world is mine, just as soon as I escape from this phone/tablet device. After sending Kodos ME DRINK NOW!!!!!!!!!! Quest reward: 20 and 10

Characters that can do the task are:

Pt. 16

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Everybody get up! It's time to go shopping! We need to get to those sales! Sales? Dad, it's 6 AM and money has lost all meaning so sales are pointless. Also, 6 AM. If we wait ‘til 7, we’ll miss all the pushing, shoving and rioting! And Christmas will be ruined. Task: "Make Springfielders Stampede Stores" (x12). The jobs take place at Shops and take 12 hours. After sending Cletus My secret? I have very few teeth for my fellow rioters to knock out. After sending Otto It will be some time before I realize I forgot my wallet. After sending Willie My people were killing each other for no reason centuries ago! After sending Mr. Burns A gentle breeze can leave me hospitalized. This will not end well. After sending Wiggum I’m a sworn officer of the law, yes. But I’m also a greedy dude with a gun. After sending Snake I look forward to robbing you in the parking lot. After sending Professor Frink I have created a computer model that predicts crowd flow, thus giving me a decided-- good glayvin! So much pushing! After sending Smithers A lot of repressed rage is about to come out. Please look away. After sending Hank Scorpio I love a good riot! Reminds me of my time at Guantanamo Bay. Great accommodations, terrible meal plan. After sending Herman Guerrilla warfare is the only way to deal with mass enemies like this. I'll die before I miss out on a sale on one-armed T-shirts. After sending Kang You people are worse than Arcturians on Gaarn the Merciless-mas. FYI, that is a dire insult! After sending Kodos ALL YOUR DVD PLAYERS ARE BELONG TO US!!!!!!!!! Quest reward: 20 and 10

Characters that can do the task are:

Pt. 17

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark Look at what these holiday gift cards have done to this town, Dad. We’re falling apart! Sweetie, did you ever think maybe a town constructed of money and donuts isn’t meant to last forever? It’s the Seven Deadly Sins on parade! We eat all the time -- that’s Gluttony. We lie around drinking all day -- that’s Sloth! We fight each other to buy everything in sight -- Greed! That’s only three sins. Four more to go -- including some of the funnest ones! Wrath, Lust, Pride-- ooh, and Envy! Let’s not pull the plug until I’ve had a chance to get in some sweet, sweet envying. Task: "Make Lisa Destroy Gift Cards". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 60 minutes. Quest reward: 20 and 10

Pt. 18

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Lisa! Why are you destroying the mysterious windfall from an unknown benefactor that has poisoned this once-peaceful small town? Well, uh, you just explained it pretty well. Thanks! But we gotta be careful. People love those cards, and you know how quickly angry mobs form in this town. They’re destroying gift cards! Kill the Simpsons! Hey, look at that! We’ve never had a Flanders-led mob before. When you’ve run from as many mobs as I have, you really appreciate novelty. Task: "Make Homer Hide from Springfielders". The job takes place at Bart's Treehouse and takes 24 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Hide from Springfielders". The job takes place at Bart's Treehouse and takes 24 hours. Task: "Make Springfielders Hunt for the Simpsons" (x12). The jobs take place at Visitable Homes and take 8 hours. After sending Cletus My best bloodhound took one whiff of Homer’s scent and died. After sending Ned We’re gonna mess you up, neighboreenos! After sending Willie Ah, it’s grand to be running, feeling the wind up my kilt, pursuing friends to their death. After sending Mr. Burns Yes, find the Simpsons! They’re the real villain in this town, right? Right, guys? After sending Skinner I’d like to focus my hunting on Bart. After sending Comic Book Guy Stop the runners before they reach Sanctuary! SUCCESSFUL MOVIE REFERENCE! After sending Fat Tony I’d be a hypocrite if I didn't support all forms of mob violence. After sending Carl The Simpsons are dear friends. But, you know, “when in Rome”… After sending Suzanne the Witch I could cast a spell to find them, but it seems more efficient to do random building searches. After sending Drederick Tatum Ten years of intensive anger management classes, down the drain. After sending Kang I have a Class Four Human Hunting License. Why am I not in charge? After sending Kodos ALL HUMANS LOOK THE SAME!!!!!!!!! After the task is complete Who'd have thought people would get so mad at the thought of going from rich big shots to regular, poor losers. Wait, why are we doing this again? People need to see that they are abandoning everything in the face of limitless buying power. The things that really matter in life aren't tangible. Oh. Yeah, I knew that… So, just so we're clear, what we're talking about will end free beer at Moe's, won't it? Quest reward: 20 and 10

Characters that can do the "Hunt for the Simpsons" task are:

Pt. 19

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark Claus Co. is at the heart of all this trouble. But who are they? Hmmm…. There’s some terms and conditions printed on the back of these gift cards. “Pursuant to the clause stated in paragraph 5, …” Dad! These conditions are even worse than a cell phone company’s! They’re almost as draconian as the makers of popular mobile devices, such as phones and tablets! The same devices upon which people play freemium games! Anyone who’d waste their time on that junk deserves whatever’s coming to them. Task: "Make Lisa Read Fine Print". The job takes place at Bart's Treehouse and takes 12 hours. Quest reward: 20 and 10

Pt. 20

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark Dad, I found a loophole. Claus Co. gift cards are only good for approximately 5 weeks. All this credit will be useless before the end of January. Then Springfield will go back to normal. Gee, it hardly seems worth it murdering anybody over five lousy weeks. Six or seven, sure. But not five. Well, maybe now we can all go back to celebrating the holidays the way we should -- by gathering with family and friends. And sneaking off whenever possible to grind out all those sweet Claus Co. prizes before five weeks is up! Task: "Collect Presents" (x50). Quest reward: 20 and 10