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Mob Rules/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki


Lisa the Tree Hugger
Mob Rules
Enter the Cheatrix


[Introduction Cutscene]
Marge: Yes! The legislative branch comes through again!
Lisa: Um, Mom, keep reading.
Marge: Quimby's cozying up to that sleazy video game producer. That really burns my beehive.
Martin Prince: I must hasten home to play my new carjacking game!
Martin Prince: Gimme your ride, jerk!
Marge: Ned, are you hurt?!
Ned Flanders: Nothing a smile and some medical attention can't fix. That video game's gonna turn every kid in town into Stabby Sams and Drive-by Bettys.
Lisa: Mom, I know how you could get that game banned.
Marge: How?
Lisa: This manual tells us how to use super powers.
Marge: You mean I can talk to whales like Aquaman? Or do whatever Hawkman does?
Lisa: No, Mom. You have the power to convince crowds to do whatever you want.
Marge: Just like Oprah! Okay, let's stop that video game!

[The Bribe]
Marge: We've got to show Quimby our children won't be exposed to senseless violence! Lisa, burn that statue!
Marge: (CRAZED WAR WHOOP)
Larry Probst: Congratulations, Quimby. You made Grand Theft Scratchy Day a tremendous success.
Mayor Quimby: Thank you, Larry Probst. Why don't we celebrate with some interns?
Larry Probst: Sexy interns?
Mayor Quimby: Well, Springfield sexy.
Larry Probst: Oh, my...
Marge: I don't think he's coming out. We're going to have to use our secret weapon.
Marge: No, Ned...not yet. I'm talking about Maggie!
Mayor Quimby: So, I'm ready to receive my bribe now.
Mayor Quimby: Oh baby, the dollar sign doesn't lie!

[Quimby Unbribed]
Mayor Quimby: Dear God! We're not soaking -- we're cooking!
Larry Probst: A mob of parents?!
Larry Probst: A s-s-s-senator! Quimby, you specifically promised me no mobs. You said this town was full of slugs who would suck up our sexy sleaze with a smile. Consider yourself unbribed!
Mayor Quimby: Unable to secure a decent bribe, I've decided to flip flop and ban sales of Grand Theft Scratchy for minors - the only people who want to play it.
Lisa: Mom, isn't it a little bit hypocritical that you're opposed to the violence in the Itchy and Scratchy game, but then you used violence to get your way?
Marge: I'm sorry, Lisa - what. I, I just can't hear you over the roar of this appreciative crowd.

[Ending Cutscene]
Homer: Aww! That was the greatest day of my life!
Marge: You won't believe what I did! It was just incredible!
Bart: So awesome!
Lisa: That was so fun!
Homer: Oh, man. All my life I wanted to be a human garbage disposal, and now I was!
Marge: Homie, don't you think you could put your new powers to better use?
Homer: Oh? Like what? Eat terrorists and barf flowers? What did you do that was so great?!
Marge: For your information, I rallied the town to ban a very violent video game!
Bart: Mom, if kids don't play Grand Theft Scratchy they'll never learn real world skills -- like how to sell guns or hunt for hidden packages!
Lisa: You should talk Bart! I heard that you destroyed half the Natural History Museum. And that's my favorite place to find solace!
Homer: While we're on the subject of yelling at each other, your little stunt with the loggers has put an army of Regular Joes out of work. Way to go! Way to ruin lives.
Marge: Of all the stupid, fat, idiotic...
Bart: Stop being lame!
Lisa: You wouldn't know what to do with a superpower if your name was Charles Francis Xavier!
Homer: Yeah, well you're lame! that's right, lame!
Kang: Well, we're here. And it only took 300 deca-Sols.
Kodos: You're the one who made us stop to visit your Mother-in-Space.
Kang: Why do we always argue on space-cations?
Kodos: You're right. Let's kill and space up!
Lisa: We're being invaded!!! We've gotta do something!
Homer: Aliens?! I bet they're here to take our jobs!
Bart: Guys!!! Listen!!! We've been given special powers! And if lazily written movies have taught me anything, it's that with super powers come super responsibilities. So, on behalf of the town, let's go kick some alien butts!... If they have butts to kick!
Bart: Ow!
Lisa: Our powers aren't strong enough! We need to stop these spaceships, and there's only one person in Springfield who's smart enough to figure out how.
Ralph: I drank blue juice from under the sink!
Bart: Let's just find Professor Frink.

Chief Wiggum: Uh, you can't come back here because, uh, there's going to be a surprise party for you, but it isn't ready yet. Yeah, yeah that's it.