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The Simpsons Game/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

[Homer wakes up from a dream about The Land of Chocolate]
Homer: Not dreaming, not dreaming, not drea- Wha-? Dammit, I was dreaming! Why is life so unfair? All I want is the ability to eat everything in sight and turn into a giant ball! Is that too much to ask?! Damn you, reality!

White Chocolate Rabbit: Excuse me, fatty. You're eating our world!
Homer: Hey! You look like that rabbit thing from that book about a girl named Alice who goes to Wonderland! What was it called? Oh yeah, Snow White in Stupidtown!

[After finding "The Simpsons Game" guide]
Bart: "The Simpsons Game"? The only Simpsons game I can think of is the one where we pretend dad isn't an alcoholic.

[At the Japanese land in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game]
Homer: Okay, I'm in this stupid Japanese game. But I'm not eating sushi, unless it's covered in chocolate and there's no sushi in it.
Lisa: An ancient Japanese village. I love learning about any culture, except American.

[At Matt Groening's mansion in Five Characters in Search of an Author]
Homer: This mansion is even bigger than the inside of Snoopy's dog house!

Bart: I'm like Spiderman in a Batman costume.

Lisa: No game is safe from an industry that's always changing. Sure "The Simpsons Game" is fun, with its unique upgradable character abilities and its hilarious self-referencial cutscenes, but what about when the Xbox 720 comes out? Or the Playstation 4? No one will want to play us then!

[After Bart and Lisa destroy Mr. Burns' lumbering plant in Lisa the Tree Hugger]
Mr. Burns: All I wanted was to destroy our delicate ecosystem. And this is the thanks I get. [sighs]
Waylon Smithers: I'm sorry, sir. Want me to get some goons to rough up Al Gore?
Mr. Burns: I'd like that.
[Smithers pulls his cellphone out]

[Inisde Mayor Quimby's pool]
EA Executive: Congratulations, Quimby. You've made Grand Theft Scratchy Day a tremendous success.
Mayor Quimby: Thank you, [bleep]. Why don't we celebrate with some interns?

[At the game engine in Bargain Bin]
Homer: Oh my god! It's a nerd!
Will Wright: That's right. The nerdiest nerd in all the computerverse! [laughs]
Lisa: Dad! That's Will Wright. Designer of Sim City and The Sims.
Will Wright: Don't forget my biggest flop: Sim Sandwich. It's failure drove me mad. Mad!

[At their spaceship, watching Bart and Lisa talking to Captain McCallister after they defeated the dolphins]
Kodos: They foiled our plot. We must have revenge!
Kang: Revenge!
Kodos: Vengeance!
Kang: Revenge!
Kodos: Payback is ours!
[An oven rings]
Kang: The mini-eggrolls are done.
[They take out a tray of eggrolls and start eating them]
Kodos: Eggrolls!
Kang: Delicious!
Kodos: Hot! Revenge!
Kang: Revenge!
Kodos: Eggrolls!
Kang: Dipping sauce!
Kodos: Eggrolls!
[Slight pause]
Kang: Revenge!

[A video game cartridge opens revealing pixelated versions of the Simpsons]
Homer: Wow. We look so pixely!
Bart: And poorly rendered.
Marge: Which one's supposed to be me?
Lisa: [to Will Wright] Don't destroy them! They may be obsolete but they're still... alive.
8-bit Homer: Help! He's crazy!
8-bit Bart: If he destroys us, we'll never escape from Krusty Island!
8-bit Marge: I'm Marge!
Homer: (to Will Wright) You can't do this!
Will Wright: Of course I can! I'm Will Wright, bitch, and pretty soon when there's a new better Simpsons game than the one you're from, I'll destroy you too!

[After being transported to the game engine]
Marge: Where are we?
Lisa: We're in the game engine. If our life's a video game, then this is the factory where it was made.
Homer: That's ridiculous! I'm not a video game character, I'm a real-life person with dreams and feelings... [He accidentally walks off a ledge and falls, only to reappear next to them again] All right, fine. I'm a video game guy.
Marge: Now can I ask a question? If this is a videogame, where do we put the quarters?

[Lenny and Carl are up a tree watching birds]
Lenny: [A bird chirps] Hey, that sounds like a tree swallow.
Carl: No, it sounds like a yellow crowned heron. [Saw noises] Oh my god! That sounds like a chainsaw!
Lenny: No, that sounds like a buzzsaw. [The tree falls with them on it on a conveyor belt and get trapped under the debris] Hey Carl, why do we fight so much?
Carl: Sometimes I think it's all we have left.

[In live, showing Lard Lad destroying the city]
Kent Brockman: [Being filmed, Homer and Bart run towards Lard Lad and push Kent out of the way. He gets up and chases Homer and Bart] Good evening, Springfield. Kent Brockman here, chasing local imbecile Homer Simpson and his delinquent son Bart, who have picked a fight with an out-of-control Donut Mascot statue. [To Bart] Bart Simpson, are you and your father insane?
Homer: [Grabs the mike] Hi, Lenny, I'm on TV! I said your name on TV - don't tell Carl! Unless he's watching this, in which case: hi, Carl, don't tell Lenny I said your name!
[Homer and Bart continue running and Kent gets in a helicopter]

[In the creator's mansion garden]
Bart: This is it...the home of our creator! I say we smash his face, bust his stuff, and take a leak on his lawn!
Homer: Way ahead of you, boy! [Homer is peeing on the dollar sign-shaped bushes. Bart laughs and does the same while a camera sees them. On his office, the creator is sit on his chair and turns around, revealing he is Matt Groening]
Matt Groening: [sees Homer and Bart through a screen] So they want a war?! Well, then it's a war they'll get! Violet, engage the super toon defense systems!
Violet: Yes, Mister Groening.
Matt Groening: It's "GREY-ning"!
Violet: Are you sure?
Matt Groening: No.
[Homer and Bart arrive to his office]
Bart: I bet you our creator is like a thousand foot Godzilla, with big boobs and he breathes fire snot.
Matt Groening: Think again, your creator is TV's most beloved animation visionary.
Homer: Seth MacFarlane?
Matt Groening: AAAAHH... Say hello to my little friends. [Draws a picture of Bender and Dr. Zoidberg that comes to life.]

[At the Heaven, after defeating God in a Dance Dance Revolution game]
Bart: All right, loser! You stop the destruction of our town and give us some answers, or these save games go in the drink! [shows God's "Infinite MB Memory Card"]
God: NO...my saved games! Stop! I'm on the final boss fight in Oblivion, and I can't start again from the beginning!