The Simpsons Game/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
- [Homer wakes up from a dream about The Land of Chocolate]
- Homer: Not dreaming, not dreaming, not drea- Wha-? Dammit, I was dreaming! Why is life so unfair? All I want is the ability to eat everything in sight and turn into a giant ball! Is that too much to ask?! Damn you, reality!
- White Chocolate Rabbit: Excuse me, fatty. You're eating our world!
- Homer: Hey! You look like that rabbit thing from that book about a girl named Alice who goes to Wonderland! What was it called? Oh yeah, Snow White in Stupidtown!
- [After finding "The Simpsons Game" guide]
- Bart: "The Simpsons Game"? The only Simpsons game I can think of is the one where we pretend dad isn't an alcoholic.
- [At the Japanese land in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game]
- Homer: Okay, I'm in this stupid Japanese game. But I'm not eating sushi, unless it's covered in chocolate and there's no sushi in it.
- Lisa: An ancient Japanese village. I love learning about any culture, except American.
- [At Matt Groening's mansion in Five Characters in Search of an Author]
- Homer: This mansion is even bigger than the inside of Snoopy's dog house!
- Bart: I'm like Spiderman in a Batman costume.
- Lisa: No game is safe from an industry that's always changing. Sure "The Simpsons Game" is fun, with its unique upgradable character abilities and its hilarious self-referencial cutscenes, but what about when the Xbox 720 comes out? Or the Playstation 4? No one will want to play us then!
- [After Bart and Lisa destroy Mr. Burns' lumbering plant in Lisa the Tree Hugger]
- Mr. Burns: All I wanted was to destroy our delicate ecosystem. And this is the thanks I get. [sighs]
- Waylon Smithers: I'm sorry, sir. Want me to get some goons to rough up Al Gore?
- Mr. Burns: I'd like that.
- [Smithers pulls his cellphone out]
- [Inisde Mayor Quimby's pool]
- EA Executive: Congratulations, Quimby. You've made Grand Theft Scratchy Day a tremendous success.
- Mayor Quimby: Thank you, [bleep]. Why don't we celebrate with some interns?
- [At the game engine in Bargain Bin]
- Homer: Oh my god! It's a nerd!
- Will Wright: That's right. The nerdiest nerd in all the computerverse! [laughs]
- Lisa: Dad! That's Will Wright. Designer of Sim City and The Sims.
- Will Wright: Don't forget my biggest flop: Sim Sandwich. It's failure drove me mad. Mad!
- [At their spaceship, watching Bart and Lisa talking to Captain McCallister after they defeated the dolphins]
- Kodos: They foiled our plot. We must have revenge!
- Kang: Revenge!
- Kodos: Vengeance!
- Kang: Revenge!
- Kodos: Payback is ours!
- [An oven rings]
- Kang: The mini-eggrolls are done.
- [They take out a tray of eggrolls and start eating them]
- Kodos: Eggrolls!
- Kang: Delicious!
- Kodos: Hot! Revenge!
- Kang: Revenge!
- Kodos: Eggrolls!
- Kang: Dipping sauce!
- Kodos: Eggrolls!
- [Slight pause]
- Kang: Revenge!
- [A video game cartridge opens revealing pixelated versions of the Simpsons]
- Homer: Wow. We look so pixely!
- Bart: And poorly rendered.
- Marge: Which one's supposed to be me?
- Lisa: [to Will Wright] Don't destroy them! They may be obsolete but they're still... alive.
- 8-bit Homer: Help! He's crazy!
- 8-bit Bart: If he destroys us, we'll never escape from Krusty Island!
- 8-bit Marge: I'm Marge!
- Homer: (to Will Wright) You can't do this!
- Will Wright: Of course I can! I'm Will Wright, bitch, and pretty soon when there's a new better Simpsons game than the one you're from, I'll destroy you too!
- [After being transported to the game engine]
- Marge: Where are we?
- Lisa: We're in the game engine. If our life's a video game, then this is the factory where it was made.
- Homer: That's ridiculous! I'm not a video game character, I'm a real-life person with dreams and feelings... [He accidentally walks off a ledge and falls, only to reappear next to them again] All right, fine. I'm a video game guy.
- Marge: Now can I ask a question? If this is a videogame, where do we put the quarters?
- [Lenny and Carl are up a tree watching birds]
- Lenny: [A bird chirps] Hey, that sounds like a tree swallow.
- Carl: No, it sounds like a yellow crowned heron. [Saw noises] Oh my god! That sounds like a chainsaw!
- Lenny: No, that sounds like a buzzsaw. [The tree falls with them on it on a conveyor belt and get trapped under the debris] Hey Carl, why do we fight so much?
- Carl: Sometimes I think it's all we have left.
- [In live, showing Lard Lad destroying the city]
- Kent Brockman: [Being filmed, Homer and Bart run towards Lard Lad and push Kent out of the way. He gets up and chases Homer and Bart] Good evening, Springfield. Kent Brockman here, chasing local imbecile Homer Simpson and his delinquent son Bart, who have picked a fight with an out-of-control Donut Mascot statue. [To Bart] Bart Simpson, are you and your father insane?
- Homer: [Grabs the mike] Hi, Lenny, I'm on TV! I said your name on TV - don't tell Carl! Unless he's watching this, in which case: hi, Carl, don't tell Lenny I said your name!
- [Homer and Bart continue running and Kent gets in a helicopter]
- [In the creator's mansion garden]
- Bart: This is it...the home of our creator! I say we smash his face, bust his stuff, and take a leak on his lawn!
- Homer: Way ahead of you, boy! [Homer is peeing on the dollar sign-shaped bushes. Bart laughs and does the same while a camera sees them. On his office, the creator is sit on his chair and turns around, revealing he is Matt Groening]
- Matt Groening: [sees Homer and Bart through a screen] So they want a war?! Well, then it's a war they'll get! Violet, engage the super toon defense systems!
- Violet: Yes, Mister Groening.
- Matt Groening: It's "GREY-ning"!
- Violet: Are you sure?
- Matt Groening: No.
- [Homer and Bart arrive to his office]
- Bart: I bet you our creator is like a thousand foot Godzilla, with big boobs and he breathes fire snot.
- Matt Groening: Think again, your creator is TV's most beloved animation visionary.
- Homer: Seth MacFarlane?
- Matt Groening: AAAAHH... Say hello to my little friends. [Draws a picture of Bender and Dr. Zoidberg that comes to life.]
- [At the Heaven, after defeating God in a Dance Dance Revolution game]
- Bart: All right, loser! You stop the destruction of our town and give us some answers, or these save games go in the drink! [shows God's "Infinite MB Memory Card"]
- God: NO...my saved games! Stop! I'm on the final boss fight in Oblivion, and I can't start again from the beginning!
