Springfield (The Simpsons Game)/Quotes
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- [Idle Quotes (before alien invasion)]
- Homer: I don't apologize. I'm sorry, but that's the way I am.
- Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems.
- Homer: Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
- Homer: Trying is the first step towards failure.
- Bart: I'm going Catholic and getting me some communion wafers and booze.
- Bart: I think I read somewhere that cows like being killed.
- Bart: I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
- Bart: Inside every hardened criminal, beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy.
- Bart: I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try.
- Lisa: It's so hard to find food that wasn't brutally slaughtered.
- Lisa: The new Malibu Stacey has an achievable chest.
- Lisa: Nelson's like a riddle wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a vest.
- Lisa: Even Gore Vidal's kissed more boys than I ever will.
- Lisa: I love the world of babysitting. The responsibility, the obligations, the pressure...
- Marge: I wish Homer would listen to his heart and not the voices in his head.
- Marge: My life can be pretty exciting, but celery's pretty exciting, too.
- Marge: Fox turned into a hardcore sex channel so gradually, I didn't even notice.
- Marge: Homer's spent less on me than he has on temporary tattoos.
- Marge: I love everything about Springfield. Bart's lawyer is here!
- Marge: Bart will probably be a Supreme Court Justice or a sleazy male stripper.
- [Idle Quotes (during alien invasion)]
- Homer: I can't believe the aliens got past Lenny's defense system.
- Homer: Ooh, an alien invasion. I'm sooo scared. I don't want to die before my time.
- Homer: For God's sake, just give the aliens what they want! Except the beer!
- Homer: Think, Homer, think. What would Jebus do?
- Homer: Hahaha, these aliens are so in Marge's doghouse.
- Bart: I bet those Shelbyville jerks put the aliens up to this.
- Bart: These aliens are really upping the prank bar.
- Bart: Maybe I want to be an alien when I grow up.
- Bart: Why would the aliens want to hurt me? I'm this century's Dennis the Menace.
- Bart: I should do something bad while the aliens are distracting everyone.
- Lisa: All the prophesies about my future, um, conveniently left this out.
- Lisa: There's gotta be a good blues song in this.
- Lisa: The aliens can destroy the town, but they better not hurt an animal.
- Lisa: I'm torn between wanting to communicate with the aliens and wanting to dissect them.
- Lisa: We should have listened that crazy homeless guy. He tried to warn us.
- Marge: I say we open a can of whoop-tushie on this situation!
- Marge: When this is over, I bet I get stuck cleaning up.
- Marge: What an exciting time we live in!
- Marge: The aliens show that you can be violent without swearing.
- Marge: I bet Lee Majors will save us. I better go fix my makeup.
- [Kearney and Dolph Conversation]
- Kearney: Next time, I hope we get invaded by Transformers.
- Dolph: You said it - they're more than meets the eye!
- Kearney: I wish I could transform into a giant car that flies and also kicks everyone 'cause it has kung fu feet!
- Dolph: That's retarded.
- Kearney: (DEFENSIVE) I know, that's why I was joking. Duh.
- [Aliens Conversation #1]
- Small Alien #1: Why is it that people from the Nebulon galaxy are good at math, but people from the Andromeda galaxy are good at sports?
- Small Alien #2: That question is racist.
- Small Alien #1: How is that racist? I'm just pointing out a fact.
- Small Alien #2: Even if it is a fact, and I'm not saying it is, it's impolite to point it out.
- Small Alien #1: Oh, excuse me for being "galactically incorrect".
- Small Alien #2: Shut up.
- [Aliens Conversation #2]
- Small Alien #1: I spy with my little eye something beginning with "U".
- Small Alien #2: Is it "U" shutting up?
- Small Alien #1: Wow, are you mad at me or something?
- Small Alien #2: No, it's just that "I Spy" is an Earth game - we don't want to adopt their ways.
- Small Alien #1: I know, but I was just sick of playing "Alien Gloop-Gleep."
- Small Alien #2: That's 'cause I always win!
- [Aliens Conversation #3]
- Small Alien #1: When I joined the interstellar coast guard, I never thought I'd see active duty!
- Small Alien #2: Me neither! That recruiter at the space mall was very deceptive...
- Small Alien #1: Very deceptive. But he didn't lie - they're too clever to lie.
- Small Alien #2: God, I'm tired. Let's kill some humans and sleep on them.
- [Alien and Smithers Conversation]
- Small Alien #1: Waylon, we can never tell anyone what happened between us.
- Smithers: No kidding! You think I want people to know?
- Small Alien #1: Well, maybe. Why? Are you ashamed of it?
- Smithers: Ah, Of course not. But we both know what it was.
- Small Alien #1: Apparently I don't! Tell me, Waylon, what was it?
- Smithers: Please, let's just let it go.
- [Mr. Burns and Krusty Conversation]
- Mr. Burns: Krusty the Klown, your antics and japes kept us all smiling through the troubles.
- Krusty: Thanks a bunch, Skeletor! (LAUGHS)
- Mr. Burns: Priceless. Now I understand your real name is Herschel Krustofsky. What sort of name is that? Cornish? Flemish? Walloon?
- Krusty: It's Jewish.
- Mr. Burns: Oh, that's interesting. Um...I have to go now. Enjoy your next trip to the synagogue.
- [Sherri and Kent Brockman Conversation]
- Sherri: Mr. Brockman, my Mom has a crush on you!
- Kent Brockman: Ah ha ha ha, That's very flattering.
- Sherri: So does my Dad. That's why they're not together anymore.
- Kent Brockman: Um huh, Um.. listen, I'm running late for squash.
- Sherri: Why did you break up my family?
- [Nelson and Manjula Conversation]
- Nelson: Haw-haw, everyone's frightened!
- Manjula: You are a mean little boy! What would your mother say if she heard you speak this way?
- Nelson: She wouldn't give a crap - she's too busy shakin' her fun bags for money!
- Manjula: Seriously? Oh, that breaks my heart. Do you want to come live with my family?
- Nelson: Really?
- Manjula: No. Haw-haw!
