Bartman Begins/Quotes
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- Bart: Hello, pathetic store nerd! One copy of Grand Theft Scratchy, please!
- Squeaky-voiced teen: Uh, sorry sit. That game is rated M!
- Bart: No problem. I have ID.
- Squeaky-voiced teen: This is a "'Cal's Calzone Zone' frequent Calzone-eaters card."
- Bart: There's a free Calzone in it for you.
- Squeaky-voiced teen: This never happened.
- Marge: I've heard about this! it's the game where you play a Meanie-bo-beanie that murders other Meanie-bo-beanies! I'm putting this game in the same place I put your swimsuit magazines and your BB gun—Homer's underwear drawer.
- Bart: Great! Now I've nothing to play except the games I bought yesterday. And I'm totally sick of them!
- Homer: Get, boy. Look what appeared in my magic drawer. Hey, what's with the fruity get-up? If you're planning on coming home like that, don't bother.
- Bart: Dad, I'm a super hero now, and I have all these awesome powers!
- Homer: Super powers, huh? Well, that's cool, I guess. I was gonna go shoot bats while reading swimsuit magazines in this cave. Wanna come with?
- Jimbo Jones: Stop freaking me out with your unusual gliding and slingshot abilities! We're just henhmen, man! Skinner hired us!
- Bart: Principal Skinner?
- Principal Skinner: Yes, it is I! I mean me! No, it is I, yes. The city cut our science budget so much, I needed to steal from the museum just to have visual aids!
- Chief Wiggum: Sorry, sorry. We would have been here sooner, but I can't get the hang of this dang mapquest. Turns out there's a north and a south Elton Avenue. Really messed me up!
