Enter the Cheatrix/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
- [Introduction Cutscene]
- Lisa: Professor Frink! Are you home? We need to talk to you.
- Bart: Yeah, we're selling band candy.
- Lisa: No, we need to tell him the truth.
- Bart: I am! I got to move this candy, alien invasion or not.
- Lisa: Whatever. It looks like he's not home.
- Bart: Fine. I'll break, you enter.
- Bart: This place is sadder than Moe's house. And that dude is sad.
- Lisa: Bart! Check it out! I think I know where Frink has disappeared to.
- Lisa: No stupid! The sign!
- Bart: Reading's for nerds! Hop in!
- Bart: Wow! Crates, coins, hearts, old video game characters... what is this place?
- Lisa: It looks like some kind of factory. But what are they making?
- Professor Frink: Why, they're making video games my dear child! You see, when I traveled through my Rift Portal, I discovered a world beyond ours. Welcome to the game engine!
- Bart: Yeah, yeah, great. Here's the thing. Our town's being attacked by aliens, and-
- Professor Frink: Don't you understand, son? Your whole life up until this moment has been a mere video game.
- Bart: Yeah, yeah. What you gonna do? The thing is, our video game powers aren't strong enough. We need upgrades, and fast.
- Professor Frink: Well, I've anticipated this problem, and I've done what every video game player who doesn't have time to figure out things for himself does.
- Bart: You cheated!
- Professor Frink: Exactly. Behold, the strategy guide.
- Lisa: A cheat guide? I don't know, Bart. I do want to save the lives of everyone we love, but if that means I have to be dishonest...
- Bart: For crying out loud! Alright, Frink, let me see that book!
- Professor Frink: Help! An oversized monkey, and his touches are unwelcome!
- Bart: Yes! The blood room!
- Lisa: Oh, it's all so carnal and unnecessary.
- [Ending Cutscene]
- Lisa: Thanks, Professor. Now we can take this book back to Mom and Dad and stop those aliens.
- Bart: Aren't you coming, Professor?
- Professor Frink: No, no, no. My place is here. I've uh, I've made a life for myself in this world... with my lovely new bride.
- Professor Frink: Finally, a woman who understands me. She is my everything.
- Female Koopa Troopa: (LOVING TURTLE NOISES)
- Professor Frink: And she's funny, too. Uh, ho, ho, oh I'm very happy.
- Bart & Lisa: (CREEPED-OUT NOISE)
