Difference between revisions of "The Simpsons Game/Quotes"

Revision as of 09:15, May 30, 2010

[Homer wakes up from a dream about The Land of Chocolate]

Homer: Not dreaming, not dreaming, not drea- Wha-? Dammit, I was dreaming! Why is life so unfair? All I want is the ability to eat everything in sight and turn into a giant ball! Is that too much to ask?! Damn you, reality!

White Chocolate Rabbit: Excuse me, fatty. You're eating our world!

Homer: Hey! You look like that rabbit thing from that book about a girl named Alice who goes to Wonderland! What was it called? Oh yeah, Snow White in Stupidtown!

[After finding "The Simpsons Game" guide]

Bart: "The Simpsons Game"? The only Simpsons game I can think of is the one where we pretend dad isn't an alcoholic.

[At the Japanese land in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game]

Homer: Okay, I'm in this stupid Japanese game. But I'm not eating sushi, unless it's covered in chocolate and there's no sushi in it.

Lisa: An ancient Japanese village. I love learning about any culture, except American.

[At Matt Groening's mansion in Five Characters in Search of an Author]

Homer: This mansion is even bigger then the inside of Snoopy's dog house!

Bart: I'm like Spiderman in a Batman costume.

Lisa: No game is safe from an industry that's always changing. Sure "The Simpsons Game" is fun, with its unique upgradable character abilities and its hilarious self-referencial cutscenes, but what about when the Xbox 720 comes out? Or the Playstation 4? No one will want to play us then!

[After Bart and Lisa destroy Mr. Burns' lumbering plant in Lisa the Tree Hugger]

Mr. Burns: All I wanted was to destroy our delicate ecosystem. And this is the thanks I get. [sighs]

Smithers: I'm sorry, sir. Want me to get some goons to rough up Al Gore?

Mr. Burns: I'd like that.

[Smithers pulls his cellphone out]

[Inisde Mayor Quimby's pool]

EA Executive: Congratulations, Quimby. You've made Grand Theft Scratchy Day a tremendous success.

Mayor Quimby: Thank you, [bleep]. Why don't we celebrate with some interns?

[At the game engine in Bargain Bin]

Homer: Oh my god! It's a nerd!

Will Wright: That's right. The nerdiest nerd in all the computerverse! [laughs]

Lisa: Dad! That's Will Wright. Designer of Sim City and The Sims.

Will Wright: Don't forget my biggest flop: Sim Sandwich. It's failure drove me mad. Mad!

[At their spaceship, watching Bart and Lisa talking to Captain McCallister after they defeated the dolphins]

Kodos: They foiled our plot. We must have revenge!

Kang: Revenge!

Kodos: Vengeance!

Kang: Revenge!

Kodos: Payback is ours!

[An oven rings]

Kang: The mini-eggrolls are done.

[They take out a tray of eggrolls and start eating them]

Kodos: Eggrolls!

Kang: Delicious!

Kodos: Hot! Revenge!

Kang: Revenge!

Kodos: Eggrolls!

Kang: Dipping sauce!

Kodos: Eggrolls!

[Slight pause]

Kang: Revenge!

[A video game cartridge opens revealing pixelated versions of the Simpsons]

Homer: Wow. We look so pixely!

Bart: And poorly rendered.

Marge: Which one's supposed to be me?

Lisa: [to Will Wright] Don't destroy them! They may be obsolete but they're still... alive.

8-bit Homer: Help! He's crazy!

8-bit Bart: If he destroys us, we'll never escape from Krusty Island!

8-bit Marge: I'm Marge!

[After being transported to the game engine]

Marge: Where are we?

Lisa: We're in the game engine. If our life's a video game, then this is the factory where it was made.

Homer: That's ridiculous! I'm not a video game character, I'm a real-life person with dreams and feelings... [He accidentally walks off a ledge and falls, only to reappear next to them again] All right, fine. I'm a video game guy.

[Lenny and Carl are up a tree watching birds]

Lenny: [A bird chirps] Hey, that sounds like a tree swallow.

Carl: No, it sounds like a yellow crowned heron. [Saw noises] Oh my god! That sounds like a chainsaw!

Lenny: No, that sounds like a buzzsaw. [The tree falls with them on it on a conveyor belt and get trapped under the debris] Hey Carl, why do we fight so much?

Carl: Sometimes I think it's all we have left.

[In live, showing Lard Lad destroying the city]

Kent Brockman: [Being filmed, Homer and Bart run towards Lard Lad and push Kent out of the way. He gets up and chases Homer and Bart] Good evening, Springfield. Kent Brockman here, chasing local imbecile Homer Simpson and his delinquent son Bart, who have picked a fight with an out-of-control Donut Mascot statue. [To Bart] Bart Simpson, are you and your father insane?

Homer: [Grabs the mike] Hi, Lenny, I'm on TV! I said your name on TV - don't tell Carl! Unless he's watching this, in which case: hi, Carl, don't tell Lenny I said your name!

[Homer and Bart continue running and Kent gets in a helicopter]

[In the creator's mansion garden]

Bart: Before we beat him, let's take a leak on his lawn!

Homer: Way ahead of you, boy! [Homer is peeing on the dollar sign-shaped bushes. Bart laughs and does the same while a camera sees them. On his office, the creator is sit on his chair and turns around, revealing he is Matt Groening]

Matt Groening: [sees Homer and Bart through a screen] So they want a war, huh?! Well, then it's a war they'll get! Violet, send out the super toon defence lawyers!

Violet: Yes, Mister Groening.

Matt Groening: It's "GREY-ning"!

Violet: Are you sure?

Matt Groening: No.

[Homer and Bart arrive to his office]

Bart: I bet you our creator is a thousand foot Godzilla, with big boobs and he breaths fire snot.

Matt Groening: Think again, your creator is America's most beloved animation visionary.

Homer: Seth MacFarlane?

[At the Heaven, after defeating God in a Dance Dance Revolution game]

Bart: OK, God! Give us some answers, or these save games go in the drink! [shows God's "Infinite MB Memory Card"]

God: NO! Stop! I'm on the final boss fight in Oblivion, and I can't start again from the beginning!