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Difference between revisions of "Shadow of the Colossal Donut/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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{{PrevNextQuo|The Day of the Dolphin|Invasion of the Yokel-Snatchers}}
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}}
 
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{{PrevNextQuo |The Day of the Dolphin|Invasion of the Yokel-Snatchers}}
 
  
−
:''When Homer and Bart are fighting miniature Krusty dolls)''
+
:''[Introduction Cutscene]''
−
:
+
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Good evening, Springfield, Kent Brockman chasing local imbecile Homer Simpson and his delinquent son Bart, who have picked a fight with an out of control donut mascot statue! Bart Simpson, are you and your father insane?
−
:'''[[Homer Simpson]]: '''Ew, tiny bugs dressed like clowns!
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Hi Lenny! I'm on TV and I just said your name on TV! Don't tell Carl! Unless he sees this, in which case... Hi Carl! Don't tell Lenny I said your name.
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Anyways, gotta go!
 +
 
 +
----
 +
:''[Homer and Bart reacting to Lard Lad]''
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I can't hurt him, he's too awesome!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} You'll have to stop him Bart, I'm too drunk!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Believe in yourself, boy, even if I don't!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Yo, Lard-ass, over here!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Hey -- Big Boy -- look at me!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Lard Lad! Say hello to Lard Dad!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Mmm...giant metal donut!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} That donut isn't big enough for the both of us!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Stop looking at me with your judging, laser-firing eyes!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} You think you're better than me? You're not better than me!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I'm this town's main fat guy, got it?
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} You know, from down here you look kind of Presidential. Like James Polk!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} The bigger they are, the harder they fall...I hope.
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Wow, his butt's even bigger than Homer's!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} This guy may be a super villain, but he dresses like a loser.
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Aren't fat guys supposed to be tons of fun?!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Give up!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}}I know I should be scared, but I just can't get past the bow tie.
 +
----
 +
:''[When Homer and Bart are fighting miniature Krusty dolls]''
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Ew -- bugs dressed like clowns!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Gross -- little sports guys!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I wonder if I could eat these mini clowns?
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I wish I had my clown poison!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Homer kill Krusties!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} What the heck?! Are those a bunch of tiny Krustys or am I now a giant and that's a bunch of regular-sized Krustys.
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Oh no, more Mini-Krustys! Haha, I wonder if they all come in one tiny clown car.
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Stay calm, no need to panic, just another roving horde of bloodthirsty mini-clowns. Aah!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Aww, here come some more of the little guys. How can something so cute be so dangerous?
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} More of them?! But I thought I was done! I already dusted my hands!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Geez! How many of these things did Krusty throw up?!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Whew. Thank God that's over. I was getting a neck cramp from looking down all the time.
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Oh man, I think one of them stole my driver's license.
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Call me sentimental, but I kind of miss those little guys.
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} They're all gone now, but I remember a time when there were herds of Mini-Krustys as far as the eye could see.
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I wish I had my diary here so I could write this down before I forget it.
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Poor little guys. I hope they're happy in their little mini circus Hell.
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Hey, it's Krusty! A bunch of Krustys? They're attacking, and they're tiny!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} I can't believe my giant, perfectly circular eyes! Not one, not two, but an entire horde of Mini-Krustys are attacking!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Oh, what a surprise - more little murderous clowns.
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Clowns are supposed to entertain, not swarm!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} More Krustys! I'm both star-struck and terrified!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Here they come again! To calm myself down, I'll just picture them naked. (SCREAMS)
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Great. Now I'm covered in little blue hairs.
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} I should've saved one and had Krusty sign it.
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Those Mini-Krustys were only small in size, not in viciousness.
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} As scary as that was, it was a pretty good workout.
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Ew, their creepy little fingers freak me out!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Help -- baby clowns!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} I hate you, mini-Sports Krustys!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Tiny Krustys are only half as funny!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Why are small clowns always evil?
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} I'm gonna stomp you little freaks!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Ew, mini clown corpses.
 +
----
 +
:''[When Homer or Bart get hit by Lard Lad's Laser]''
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I've been singed!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Hey, I called "no lasers!"
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Hey!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Not cool!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} That burns!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Pain hurts!
 +
----
 +
:''[Homer reacting to Lard Lad's hatch opening/wiring disabled]''
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Hey fatso, feel a bit drafty?
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Hey idiot, your hatch is open!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Now you'll have to get along without wires like everybody else!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} How does it feel to have your wires ripped out?! I bet it feels bad!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Ahaha, Bart hurt the funny man!
 +
----
 +
:''[When Homer becomes Helium Homer]''
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Wow! I feel slightly lighter than air!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Look at me! I'm as light as a princess!
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Wow! I feel slightly lighter than air!
 +
----
 +
:''[Bart reacting to Lard Lad defeated]''
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Look out Homer, I think he's gonna blow!
 +
----
 +
:''[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad]''
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Lard Lad's out-of-control temper reminds me of a young Bobby Knight.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} What a show Lard Lad's putting on - a horribly destructive show!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} If Lard Lad's not careful he's going to get himself a yellow card.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} It's incidents like this that's earned Lard Lad the reputation of being un-coachable.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Lard Lad has kicked the destruction up to "Detroit" level.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Lard Lad may want to slow it down and save something for Shelbyville.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Taking a page out of Michael Jordan's book, Lard Lad's brought a bunch of robotic clowns to life!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} It seems like an obvious move in retrospect, but Lard Lad has used his laser to bring a bunch of tiny Krustys on a billboard to life.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} (chuckling) Giant fat donut sign aided by tiny billboard clowns - classic comedy pairing.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} I should put my career on a billboard and see if Lard Lad could bring that to life.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Only in a town this morbidly obese would we have so many billboards with food on them.
 +
----
 +
:''[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad looking for Bart and Homer]''
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Lard Lad has lost Bart and Homer. But don't relax yet, he's determined to find the father and son and, I assume, skin them alive.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Lard Lad is searching for Homer and Bart! He sure is persistent for a 50-year-old logo!
 +
----
 +
:''[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad spotting Bart or Homer]''
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} He's spotted them! Back to the terror.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} He found them! Say what you want about Lard Lad, but he's not a quitter like so many of today's youth.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Oops! Lard Lad's spotted them! I wonder if he's still angry.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Lard Lad's found them! Anyone who's ever lost their keys knows the relief he's feeling right now.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} There they are! It's really basic monstering to keep your eye on your victim.
 +
----
 +
:''[Kent Brockman reacting to Homer and Bart defeating the mini-krusties]''
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} They're treating these miniature Krustys as if they were miniscule Krustys.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Those robot clowns died fighting for what they believe in, nothing.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} The tiny clowns' reign of terror was as small as they were themselves.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Those mini-Krusty robots just got served!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} I've never seen such an impressive display of tiny robot slaughter! No, wait. I have.
 +
----
 +
:''[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad making the billboard food come to life]''
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Lard Lad's laser is making the food come to life! What a stroke of luck for local fatsos!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} The laser is making the billboard ad's foods become real -- this story will get me a local Emmy for sure!
 +
----
 +
:''[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad's hatch opening]''
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} The scenario begs but one question: what lays inside that ass hatch?
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} A second hatch emerges! Ha, Lard Lad's body is a wonderland!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Celebrity deaths and monster hatches always come in threes.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} The Simpsons have got to get inside that giant boy's pants!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} All Springfield is praying that Homer and Bart can disable that monster's ass.
 +
----
 +
:''[Kent Brockman reacting to Bart or Homer disabling Lard Lad's wiring]''
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Lard Lad learned the hard way that Bart Simpson is a real pain in the behind.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Ooh! He's going to feel that in the morning! My producer wanted me to say that.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} How much more damage can the food icon of yesteryear endure?
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} This super-powered father and son team have injured the Lard Lad, but they're not done yet!
 +
----
 +
:''[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad's hatch closing]''
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} The hatch has closed up! If Bart wants to get in that butt, he's going to have to start over from the bottom of the butt!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} And the hatch closes. Bart Simpson, once again, a moronic testament to this town's decaying educational infrastructure. Thank you Proposition 212.
 +
----
 +
:''[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad running away]''
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Lard Lad is running away!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} The monster is leaving the scene of his devastation! Will he return? If every other video game in history is any indication, I'll say "yes."
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} I'd like to take this break in the action to say hello to Lenny - you, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} He's running away -- Looks like Lard Lad is human after all! Well, not human. Forget it.
 +
----
 +
:''[Kent Brockman reacting Homer or Bart getting knocked down/dying]''
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Homer's been dropped like a sack of lumpy mashed potatoes!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Homer's down! And with no abdominal muscles whatsoever, he may be out.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Down goes Homer and with him the hopes of a nation. (BURPS) Excuse me. I had enchiladas for lunch. You would not want to be in this booth right now.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Homer doesn't have much left. He had so little to begin with.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Homer's at death's doorstep. And Death has turned out the lights to pretend he's not home.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Homer Simpson is in very poor condition even for a disgusting slob.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} If this is the end for Homer, I call dibs on his clothes.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Bart's down! And not just emotionally!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Bart's been knocked down! Hopefully he can take a page from the book of Chumbawamba, and get back up again.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Bart, like my stock portfolio, has gone down!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Bart Simpson isn't looking very good. He may have cowabunga'ed for the last time.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} This may be the end of Bart Simpson. When reached for comment, Nelson said, "Haw Haw."
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} If this is the end of Bart Simpson, let's remember him as he was, a royal pain in the ass.
 +
----
 +
:''[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad moving to a different area of the level]''
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Lard Lad is heading straight for the prison. I say, If he can tackle the problems of our troubled penal system, he's got my vote.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Lard Lad seems to be making his way to the piers, and who can blame him? It's a wonderful place to hang out and take a break from the pressures of being a horrible monster.
 +
----
 +
:''[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad stomping]''
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} This Lard Lad stomp is brought to you by Dave's Big Screen's of Shelbyville. If You need a big screen, go to Dave's!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Hold onto your hats, here comes a stomp!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Lard Lad's about to break out his stomping foot!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} This guy has a really textbook stomp.
 +
----
 +
:''[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad shooting out lasers]''
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} According to my notes, when Lard Lad charges up his laser, he does so with solar panels implanted in his bow tie. Fascinating!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} It's a beautiful day for a laser attack.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} The way Lard Lad's charging up that laser reminds me of my wife with a credit card ha ha ha ha.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} A good lesson for you kids - you can't fire your laser if you don't charge it up first.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} If I'm not mistaken, we're in for a real treat. Lard Lad's about to destroy our town with a laser.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} It looks like he's charging something up. Wait... I'm getting an update. Yes, it is a laser.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} And here comes the laser.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} From this vantage point, I can't tell if Lard Lad's laser will be pulse or continuous.
 +
----
 +
:''[Kent Brockman random voicelines]''
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Where's my close up?!
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} I love how these pants feel.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} I'd say my vanity more than my drinking has been my downfall.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} I'm sorry, but Tom Wolfe dresses like Colonel Sanders.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} I got my start as Oprah's butler. True story.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} If there isn't a break in the action soon, I'm going to mess myself.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Deep down, I feel there's something disturbing about evolution.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} I am so over text messaging.
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} I know it makes some people uncomfortable, but I just can't live without passion. I feel too much.
 +
----
 +
:''[Mini-Krusties]''
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} Hey hey!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} Huhuhu hahahahaha!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} Is it a crime to be illiterate?
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} We're going to the greatest place on Earth...Tijuana!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} What the hell was that?!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} I will personally spit into every fiftieth burger!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} I'm Krusty the Klown and I'm going to kill you!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} I'm Krusty the Klown and I love you very much!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} Every time you watch my show, I'll send you $40!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} Hey kids! Who do you love?!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} I like illegal things!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} I coughed on your fries!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} I need to be re-barmitzvah-ed!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} I WANT KUGEL!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} I'm a self-hating clown!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} Krusty say die!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} Little Krusty will give you a little death!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} Who loves a thousand mini-Krusties!
 +
{{qf|[[EA Mini Krusty]]}} Collect all of me!
 +
----
 +
:''[Krusty Burger Drive-Thru Sign]''
 +
{{qf|[[Krusty]]}} Here at Krusty Burger you can have it our way!
 +
{{qf|[[Krusty]]}} Welcome to Krusty Burger, home of America's best meat-flavored sandwiches!
 +
{{qf|[[Krusty]]}} Krusty Burger is king of the clown-owned restaurants!
 +
{{qf|[[Krusty]]}} Welcome to Krusty Burger! We use only the freshest chemicals!
 +
{{qf|[[Krusty]]}} If you're infected with e coli, your fries are on the house, that's the Krusty promise!
 +
----
 +
:''[Ending Cutscene]''
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Who's number one?! We're number one! That's right!
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Homer, try to show a little dignity in victory.
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Eat fists, Lard Crotch!
 +
{{qf|[[Kang]]}} Shazbot! How could Lard Lad lose to that guy?!
 +
{{qf|[[Kodos]]}} Don't yell at Lard Lad! When you really want to yell at me! I screwed this whole thing up.
 +
{{qf|[[Kang]]}} You're right. I do blame you.
  
 
{{The Simpsons Game}}
 
{{The Simpsons Game}}
−
{{DEFAULTSORT:Land of Chocolate (The Simpsons Game)/Quotes}}
 

Latest revision as of 18:13, November 3, 2024


← The Day of the Dolphin
Shadow of the Colossal Donut
Invasion of the Yokel-Snatchers →
[Introduction Cutscene]
Kent Brockman: Good evening, Springfield, Kent Brockman chasing local imbecile Homer Simpson and his delinquent son Bart, who have picked a fight with an out of control donut mascot statue! Bart Simpson, are you and your father insane?
Homer: Hi Lenny! I'm on TV and I just said your name on TV! Don't tell Carl! Unless he sees this, in which case... Hi Carl! Don't tell Lenny I said your name.
Homer: Anyways, gotta go!
[Homer and Bart reacting to Lard Lad]
Homer: I can't hurt him, he's too awesome!
Homer: You'll have to stop him Bart, I'm too drunk!
Homer: Believe in yourself, boy, even if I don't!
Homer: Yo, Lard-ass, over here!
Homer: Hey -- Big Boy -- look at me!
Homer: Lard Lad! Say hello to Lard Dad!
Homer: Mmm...giant metal donut!
Homer: That donut isn't big enough for the both of us!
Homer: Stop looking at me with your judging, laser-firing eyes!
Homer: You think you're better than me? You're not better than me!
Homer: I'm this town's main fat guy, got it?
Homer: You know, from down here you look kind of Presidential. Like James Polk!
Bart: The bigger they are, the harder they fall...I hope.
Bart: Wow, his butt's even bigger than Homer's!
Bart: This guy may be a super villain, but he dresses like a loser.
Bart: Aren't fat guys supposed to be tons of fun?!
Bart: Give up!
Bart:I know I should be scared, but I just can't get past the bow tie.
[When Homer and Bart are fighting miniature Krusty dolls]
Homer: Ew -- bugs dressed like clowns!
Homer: Gross -- little sports guys!
Homer: I wonder if I could eat these mini clowns?
Homer: I wish I had my clown poison!
Homer: Homer kill Krusties!
Homer: What the heck?! Are those a bunch of tiny Krustys or am I now a giant and that's a bunch of regular-sized Krustys.
Homer: Oh no, more Mini-Krustys! Haha, I wonder if they all come in one tiny clown car.
Homer: Stay calm, no need to panic, just another roving horde of bloodthirsty mini-clowns. Aah!
Homer: Aww, here come some more of the little guys. How can something so cute be so dangerous?
Homer: More of them?! But I thought I was done! I already dusted my hands!
Homer: Geez! How many of these things did Krusty throw up?!
Homer: Whew. Thank God that's over. I was getting a neck cramp from looking down all the time.
Homer: Oh man, I think one of them stole my driver's license.
Homer: Call me sentimental, but I kind of miss those little guys.
Homer: They're all gone now, but I remember a time when there were herds of Mini-Krustys as far as the eye could see.
Homer: I wish I had my diary here so I could write this down before I forget it.
Homer: Poor little guys. I hope they're happy in their little mini circus Hell.
Bart: Hey, it's Krusty! A bunch of Krustys? They're attacking, and they're tiny!
Bart: I can't believe my giant, perfectly circular eyes! Not one, not two, but an entire horde of Mini-Krustys are attacking!
Bart: Oh, what a surprise - more little murderous clowns.
Bart: Clowns are supposed to entertain, not swarm!
Bart: More Krustys! I'm both star-struck and terrified!
Bart: Here they come again! To calm myself down, I'll just picture them naked. (SCREAMS)
Bart: Great. Now I'm covered in little blue hairs.
Bart: I should've saved one and had Krusty sign it.
Bart: Those Mini-Krustys were only small in size, not in viciousness.
Bart: As scary as that was, it was a pretty good workout.
Bart: Ew, their creepy little fingers freak me out!
Bart: Help -- baby clowns!
Bart: I hate you, mini-Sports Krustys!
Bart: Tiny Krustys are only half as funny!
Bart: Why are small clowns always evil?
Bart: I'm gonna stomp you little freaks!
Bart: Ew, mini clown corpses.
[When Homer or Bart get hit by Lard Lad's Laser]
Homer: I've been singed!
Homer: Hey, I called "no lasers!"
Bart: Hey!
Bart: Not cool!
Bart: That burns!
Bart: Pain hurts!
[Homer reacting to Lard Lad's hatch opening/wiring disabled]
Homer: Hey fatso, feel a bit drafty?
Homer: Hey idiot, your hatch is open!
Homer: Now you'll have to get along without wires like everybody else!
Homer: How does it feel to have your wires ripped out?! I bet it feels bad!
Homer: Ahaha, Bart hurt the funny man!
[When Homer becomes Helium Homer]
Homer: Wow! I feel slightly lighter than air!
Homer: Look at me! I'm as light as a princess!
Homer: Wow! I feel slightly lighter than air!
[Bart reacting to Lard Lad defeated]
Bart: Look out Homer, I think he's gonna blow!
[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad]
Kent Brockman: Lard Lad's out-of-control temper reminds me of a young Bobby Knight.
Kent Brockman: What a show Lard Lad's putting on - a horribly destructive show!
Kent Brockman: If Lard Lad's not careful he's going to get himself a yellow card.
Kent Brockman: It's incidents like this that's earned Lard Lad the reputation of being un-coachable.
Kent Brockman: Lard Lad has kicked the destruction up to "Detroit" level.
Kent Brockman: Lard Lad may want to slow it down and save something for Shelbyville.
Kent Brockman: Taking a page out of Michael Jordan's book, Lard Lad's brought a bunch of robotic clowns to life!
Kent Brockman: It seems like an obvious move in retrospect, but Lard Lad has used his laser to bring a bunch of tiny Krustys on a billboard to life.
Kent Brockman: (chuckling) Giant fat donut sign aided by tiny billboard clowns - classic comedy pairing.
Kent Brockman: I should put my career on a billboard and see if Lard Lad could bring that to life.
Kent Brockman: Only in a town this morbidly obese would we have so many billboards with food on them.
[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad looking for Bart and Homer]
Kent Brockman: Lard Lad has lost Bart and Homer. But don't relax yet, he's determined to find the father and son and, I assume, skin them alive.
Kent Brockman: Lard Lad is searching for Homer and Bart! He sure is persistent for a 50-year-old logo!
[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad spotting Bart or Homer]
Kent Brockman: He's spotted them! Back to the terror.
Kent Brockman: He found them! Say what you want about Lard Lad, but he's not a quitter like so many of today's youth.
Kent Brockman: Oops! Lard Lad's spotted them! I wonder if he's still angry.
Kent Brockman: Lard Lad's found them! Anyone who's ever lost their keys knows the relief he's feeling right now.
Kent Brockman: There they are! It's really basic monstering to keep your eye on your victim.
[Kent Brockman reacting to Homer and Bart defeating the mini-krusties]
Kent Brockman: They're treating these miniature Krustys as if they were miniscule Krustys.
Kent Brockman: Those robot clowns died fighting for what they believe in, nothing.
Kent Brockman: The tiny clowns' reign of terror was as small as they were themselves.
Kent Brockman: Those mini-Krusty robots just got served!
Kent Brockman: I've never seen such an impressive display of tiny robot slaughter! No, wait. I have.
[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad making the billboard food come to life]
Kent Brockman: Lard Lad's laser is making the food come to life! What a stroke of luck for local fatsos!
Kent Brockman: The laser is making the billboard ad's foods become real -- this story will get me a local Emmy for sure!
[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad's hatch opening]
Kent Brockman: The scenario begs but one question: what lays inside that ass hatch?
Kent Brockman: A second hatch emerges! Ha, Lard Lad's body is a wonderland!
Kent Brockman: Celebrity deaths and monster hatches always come in threes.
Kent Brockman: The Simpsons have got to get inside that giant boy's pants!
Kent Brockman: All Springfield is praying that Homer and Bart can disable that monster's ass.
[Kent Brockman reacting to Bart or Homer disabling Lard Lad's wiring]
Kent Brockman: Lard Lad learned the hard way that Bart Simpson is a real pain in the behind.
Kent Brockman: Ooh! He's going to feel that in the morning! My producer wanted me to say that.
Kent Brockman: How much more damage can the food icon of yesteryear endure?
Kent Brockman: This super-powered father and son team have injured the Lard Lad, but they're not done yet!
[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad's hatch closing]
Kent Brockman: The hatch has closed up! If Bart wants to get in that butt, he's going to have to start over from the bottom of the butt!
Kent Brockman: And the hatch closes. Bart Simpson, once again, a moronic testament to this town's decaying educational infrastructure. Thank you Proposition 212.
[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad running away]
Kent Brockman: Lard Lad is running away!
Kent Brockman: The monster is leaving the scene of his devastation! Will he return? If every other video game in history is any indication, I'll say "yes."
Kent Brockman: I'd like to take this break in the action to say hello to Lenny - you, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.
Kent Brockman: He's running away -- Looks like Lard Lad is human after all! Well, not human. Forget it.
[Kent Brockman reacting Homer or Bart getting knocked down/dying]
Kent Brockman: Homer's been dropped like a sack of lumpy mashed potatoes!
Kent Brockman: Homer's down! And with no abdominal muscles whatsoever, he may be out.
Kent Brockman: Down goes Homer and with him the hopes of a nation. (BURPS) Excuse me. I had enchiladas for lunch. You would not want to be in this booth right now.
Kent Brockman: Homer doesn't have much left. He had so little to begin with.
Kent Brockman: Homer's at death's doorstep. And Death has turned out the lights to pretend he's not home.
Kent Brockman: Homer Simpson is in very poor condition even for a disgusting slob.
Kent Brockman: If this is the end for Homer, I call dibs on his clothes.
Kent Brockman: Bart's down! And not just emotionally!
Kent Brockman: Bart's been knocked down! Hopefully he can take a page from the book of Chumbawamba, and get back up again.
Kent Brockman: Bart, like my stock portfolio, has gone down!
Kent Brockman: Bart Simpson isn't looking very good. He may have cowabunga'ed for the last time.
Kent Brockman: This may be the end of Bart Simpson. When reached for comment, Nelson said, "Haw Haw."
Kent Brockman: If this is the end of Bart Simpson, let's remember him as he was, a royal pain in the ass.
[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad moving to a different area of the level]
Kent Brockman: Lard Lad is heading straight for the prison. I say, If he can tackle the problems of our troubled penal system, he's got my vote.
Kent Brockman: Lard Lad seems to be making his way to the piers, and who can blame him? It's a wonderful place to hang out and take a break from the pressures of being a horrible monster.
[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad stomping]
Kent Brockman: This Lard Lad stomp is brought to you by Dave's Big Screen's of Shelbyville. If You need a big screen, go to Dave's!
Kent Brockman: Hold onto your hats, here comes a stomp!
Kent Brockman: Lard Lad's about to break out his stomping foot!
Kent Brockman: This guy has a really textbook stomp.
[Kent Brockman reacting to Lard Lad shooting out lasers]
Kent Brockman: According to my notes, when Lard Lad charges up his laser, he does so with solar panels implanted in his bow tie. Fascinating!
Kent Brockman: It's a beautiful day for a laser attack.
Kent Brockman: The way Lard Lad's charging up that laser reminds me of my wife with a credit card ha ha ha ha.
Kent Brockman: A good lesson for you kids - you can't fire your laser if you don't charge it up first.
Kent Brockman: If I'm not mistaken, we're in for a real treat. Lard Lad's about to destroy our town with a laser.
Kent Brockman: It looks like he's charging something up. Wait... I'm getting an update. Yes, it is a laser.
Kent Brockman: And here comes the laser.
Kent Brockman: From this vantage point, I can't tell if Lard Lad's laser will be pulse or continuous.
[Kent Brockman random voicelines]
Kent Brockman: Where's my close up?!
Kent Brockman: I love how these pants feel.
Kent Brockman: I'd say my vanity more than my drinking has been my downfall.
Kent Brockman: I'm sorry, but Tom Wolfe dresses like Colonel Sanders.
Kent Brockman: I got my start as Oprah's butler. True story.
Kent Brockman: If there isn't a break in the action soon, I'm going to mess myself.
Kent Brockman: Deep down, I feel there's something disturbing about evolution.
Kent Brockman: I am so over text messaging.
Kent Brockman: I know it makes some people uncomfortable, but I just can't live without passion. I feel too much.
[Mini-Krusties]
EA Mini Krusty: Hey hey!
EA Mini Krusty: Huhuhu hahahahaha!
EA Mini Krusty: Is it a crime to be illiterate?
EA Mini Krusty: We're going to the greatest place on Earth...Tijuana!
EA Mini Krusty: What the hell was that?!
EA Mini Krusty: I will personally spit into every fiftieth burger!
EA Mini Krusty: I'm Krusty the Klown and I'm going to kill you!
EA Mini Krusty: I'm Krusty the Klown and I love you very much!
EA Mini Krusty: Every time you watch my show, I'll send you $40!
EA Mini Krusty: Hey kids! Who do you love?!
EA Mini Krusty: I like illegal things!
EA Mini Krusty: I coughed on your fries!
EA Mini Krusty: I need to be re-barmitzvah-ed!
EA Mini Krusty: I WANT KUGEL!
EA Mini Krusty: I'm a self-hating clown!
EA Mini Krusty: Krusty say die!
EA Mini Krusty: Little Krusty will give you a little death!
EA Mini Krusty: Who loves a thousand mini-Krusties!
EA Mini Krusty: Collect all of me!
[Krusty Burger Drive-Thru Sign]
Krusty: Here at Krusty Burger you can have it our way!
Krusty: Welcome to Krusty Burger, home of America's best meat-flavored sandwiches!
Krusty: Krusty Burger is king of the clown-owned restaurants!
Krusty: Welcome to Krusty Burger! We use only the freshest chemicals!
Krusty: If you're infected with e coli, your fries are on the house, that's the Krusty promise!
[Ending Cutscene]
Homer: Who's number one?! We're number one! That's right!
Bart: Homer, try to show a little dignity in victory.
Homer: Eat fists, Lard Crotch!
Kang: Shazbot! How could Lard Lad lose to that guy?!
Kodos: Don't yell at Lard Lad! When you really want to yell at me! I screwed this whole thing up.
Kang: You're right. I do blame you.


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