Difference between revisions of "Bargain Bin/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 23:08, November 8, 2024

[Introduction Cutscene]

Lisa: Oh my God! It's the mother ship!

Bart: This must be the level boss for this part of the game!

Homer: boss? Quick, everyone look busy!

Bart: Guys! Look! The hatch opens after every four laser bursts. That's the weak spot when we need to fire!

Kang: Hey, Kodos -- that ugly kid's right. Why are we exposing our weak spot after every four laser bursts?

Kodos: You're right... why do we even need to expose our weak spot at all?

Kang: Thanks for the heads up, earth dumbass!

Kodos: Screw fighting one family. Why don't we just blow up the whole town? They can't stop us from doing that!

Kang: Sounds good to space-me!

Marge: Unless we do something, these space octopuses are gonna get jiggy all over Springfield! Did I use "jiggy" right? Sorry.

Bart: The cheat guide doesn't have any more upgrades!

Lisa: Wait, I know another way we can cheat -- the Internet!

Bart: Of course, the Internet! That's where I cheat for school.

Homer: Cheating. Is there anything it can't do?

Bart: Check it out! They have a walkthrough for a game called "THE SIMPSONS GAME". Bartman, eating contest, alien invasion, slaughtering dolphins, it's describing everything we've done all day!

Marge: But what does it say we have to do next?! Nothing, I hope!!!

Bart: Well, it says that we need to find...

Homer: Move it! I wanna play solitaire!!!

Simpsons: (SCREAMS)

Marge: Where are we?

Lisa: We're in the game engine. If our life is a video game, this is a factory where it was made.

Homer: That's ridiculous! I'm not a video game character. I'm a real, live person with dreams and feelings--

Homer: Alright, fine. I'm a video game guy.

Marge: Now can I ask a question? If this is a video game, where do we put the quarters?

Homer: Oh my God! It's a nerd!

Will Wright: That's right! The nerdiest nerd in the computerverse! (NERD LAUGH)

Lisa: Dad, that's Will Wright, designer of SimCity and The Sims!

Will Wright: Don't forget my biggest flop -- SimSandwich. Its failure drove me mad... MAD! That's why I live here now, finding a home for old games nobody plays anymore.

Will Wright: Video games are about what's new! And the old... is better off forgotten. Any of these fellows look familiar?

Homer: Wow -- we look so pixel-y!

Bart: And poorly rendered.

Marge: Which one is supposed to be me?

Lisa: Don't destroy them! They may be obsolete -- but they're still... alive.

8-Bit Homer: Help -- he's crazy!

8-Bit Bart: If he destroys us, we'll never escape from Krusty Island!

8-Bit Marge: I'm Marge!

Homer: You can't do this!

Will Wright: Of course I can. I'm Will Wright, bitch! And pretty soon when there's a new better Simpsons video game than the one you're from, I'll destroy you, too. (LONG EVIL LAUGH)

Bart: Stop him, Homer!

Homer: Nerd!!!!!!!!!!

[Saving the 8-Bit Simpsons]

Homer: Bart, as much as I'd love to get rid of them, save the freaks!

Homer: Hurry, Bart! The crappy versions of us are almost done for!

Homer: Normal Bart, hurry up! Sloppy Bart's nearly dead!

Bart: We've got to save our pixilated fore-fathers!

Bart: We've got to save the 8-bit Simpsons! They remind us of a simpler time.

Bart: Save yourself, Homer! Literally!

Bart: Do something, Homer, or those Simpsons are going to end up in more than 8 bits!

[Homer and Bart taunting Will Wright]

Homer: Even Lisa's not nerd enough to wear nerd glasses!

Homer: Hey Einstein, you smell like a butt!

Homer: If you're so smart, why are you skinny?!

Homer: Knowledge isn't power, it's stupid!

Homer: Just because you're great doesn't mean you don't suck!

Homer: Five bucks says Spore never gets released!!

Bart: You make Milhouse look cool!

Bart: I find your hover pedestal unimpressive.

Bart: Just because you create God-games doesn't mean you can play God.

Bart: Shouldn't you be doing something useful with your genius?

Bart: Stop being smarter than us!

Bart: Don't hate the player or the game!

[Homer and Bart solving puzzles]

Homer: That's it, Bart! Way to solve the thingy!

Homer: You solved the puzzle. Nerd!!!

Bart: Way to use your pea-brain, Homer!

Bart: I no longer think you're dumb as a rock.

[Homer crashing into crates]

Homer: Ow! My fat face!

Homer: Blammo!

Homer: The party's over, crates!

Homer: I'm on a roll! Sorry.

[Will Wright taunting Homer and Bart]

Will Wright: You Simpsons should stick to TV!

Will Wright: Worship me! I am a near-sighted god!

Will Wright: You're not girls, so I'm not afraid of you!

Will Wright: Nice design - your pathing A.I. is pathetic!

Will Wright: Behold my incredible beauty!

Will Wright: Anything without "Sim" in its name is stupid! Except Spore.

Will Wright: Why haven't you put me on the show?! You had the Baha Men on!

[Will Wright reacting to Homer and Bart solving puzzles]

Will Wright: Pure luck. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Once if it's on military time.

Will Wright: Hey! You're both supposed to be dumb! Get back in character!

Will Wright: You're not so great - I've made out with a girl!

Will Wright: Big whoop. Wanna see me solve a Rubik's cube?

Will Wright: Okay, so you can do a puzzle. But can you grow a sweet 'stache like mine?

Will Wright: Another puzzle solved, huh? No problem. No need to fart nervously.

Will Wright: Stay calm, big Willy, no need to panic.

Will Wright: Keep it together. Think of your money. Concentrate on all your money. Aah.

[Will Wright reacting to Homer and Bart getting collectibles]

Will Wright: Stopping for non-essential collectibles during timed puzzle. Not logical. Does not compute.

Will Wright: I remember when I cared about picking up collectibles...good times.

Will Wright: Ooh, they're getting so many points. When's my turn to play?

Will Wright: You waste your time, while I invent other games with Sim in the title. Sim hot dog... Sim garbage truck... Sim... duck farm!

[Will Wright reacting to Homer and Bart reaching the incierator lever]

Will Wright: No, you can't win! I won't go back to dancing!

Will Wright: This isn't possible. The odds of you winning are five to one. Wait, that's bad for me, isn't it?

Will Wright: Don't you get it? Nobody beats Will Wright, nobody! I'm King of the Nerds!

Will Wright: This isn't right! Who put you up to this? Was it those jerks at EA? They hate me, you know. They're all jealous of me! Jealous I tells ya!

[8-Bit Simpsons]

8-Bit Homer: Someone stop this crazy thing!

8-Bit Homer: If I die I'll never live my lifelong dream of starting an emu farm!

8-Bit Homer: Just because I'm obsolete doesn't mean I don't feel pain!

8-Bit Homer: Save us, us!

8-Bit Homer: Hurry, smooth Simpsons! We're almost goners!

8-Bit Homer: This is it -- and I never got to snuggle with that better, next-gen Marge!

8-Bit Bart: Cowabunga! I need help! Cowabunga!

8-Bit Bart: Save my old-school butt!

8-Bit Bart: I'm having a cow, man!

8-Bit Bart: I'm gonna die an underachiever and proud of it!

8-Bit Bart: Save the Bartman! Save the Bartman!

8-Bit Bart: This isn't my greatest prank ever! We're almost dead!

8-Bit Bart: I'll never live to put mothballs in the beef stew!

8-Bit Bart: Not Again!

8-Bit Lisa: Save our low-resolution souls!

8-Bit Lisa: I may not have three dimensions, but I want to live!

8-Bit Lisa: I leave everything to Snowball II !

8-Bit Lisa: I'm not ready for Nirvana! I haven't achieved enlightenment!

8-Bit Lisa: Now I really understand the blues!

8-Bit Lisa: If I don't make it, tell 8-bit Milhouse I don't like him that way!

8-Bit Lisa: It's hard to be Zen when you're about to go through a shredder!

8-Bit Marge: Don't hate us 'cause we're ugly!

8-Bit Marge: Someone use your joystick to save us!

8-Bit Marge: Put in another quarter! I want more life!

8-Bit Marge: Either get me out of here or explain to me what's going on!

8-Bit Marge: If you save me I'll put your initials on the high score!

8-Bit Marge: This is it! -- I wish I spent more time cleaning!

8-Bit Marge: We might not make it! I should have worn a nicer dress!

[8-Bit Simpsons reacting to being saved]

8-Bit Bart: Thanks for saving us, awesome versions of us!

8-Bit Homer: You did it, you saved us! How many points did you get?

8-Bit Lisa: I love you, next gen Simpsons!

8-Bit Marge: Thank you, other Homie and other Bart!

[8-Bit Simpsons are dead]

8-Bit Homer: Mmm...death.

8-Bit Homer: Oh, I feel a shooting pain in my everywhere!

8-Bit Bart: I'll never see.. the boat show...

8-Bit Bart: Cowabunga, dead...

8-Bit Lisa: Goodbye smooth world!

8-Bit Lisa: Remember us how we were - jagged!

8-Bit Marge: I love my Homie.

8-Bit Marge: I think I left the oven on!

[Will Wright celebrating killing the 8-Bit Simpsons]

Will Wright: You should try The Sims instead, that's more your speed.

Will Wright: Don't feel too bad. It's just a stupid video game. I'll have my office send you a million dollars.

Will Wright: I guess that's the end of the 8-bit Simpsons. Oh, boo-hoo. What will the world do without a bunch of 2D losers?

Will Wright: Welcome to the jungle, baby!

Will Wright: Well, now that that's done. I'm off to burn down an orphanage.

Will Wright: Taste the pain, Simpsons. Mmm...pain.

[Ending Cutscene]

Homer: Wow! This is like those places where people used to see movies before video piracy was invented!

Bart: Hey, thanks for helping us save our 8-Bit selves!! I had to do so many double jumps! I'm really tired!

Homer: You like donuts, too?

8-Bit Homer: Sure do! D'you want one?

Homer: Mmm... Pixel-y! You're alright, old,-weird-version-of-me!

8-Bit Bart: Attention, smooth Simpsons! We've been around this complex for a long time, and bring a warning. Cowabunga.

8-Bit Lisa: One day, your video game, too will be obsolete.

Bart: No way! "The Simpsons Game" is awesome! Just because every video game up until now has been destroyed and forgotten, doesn't mean ours will be.

Lisa: Bart, she's right. I mean, I'm right. We're both right. No video game is safe from an industry that's always chasing the hot new thing! Sure, "The Simpsons Game" is great, with its unique, upgradable character abilities, and its hilarious, self-referential cut scenes. But what about when the Xbox 720 comes out, or the PlayStation 4? No one will want to play us then.

Homer: Damn this Godforsaken place! Video game-making nerds are getting rich, and all I can do about it is die and die and die! Each death more painful than the last!

Lisa: But what can we do? We're just highly-rendered pixels in a Universe we can't control. Even as we speak, Springfield is being destroyed by a hackneyed alien invasion premise. Somehow, it's not a cliché when it's happening to you!

Bart: Yeah, we don't even know whose butt to kick!

8-Bit Marge: There is one place you can go -- the mansion of... the creator! He created all of these worlds. Maybe he can end this pointless cycle of destruction.

Bart: The creator, eh? I'm gonna triple-combo punch his fat nerdy face. Karate!

8-Bit Bart: Don't have a cow, man! You still say that right? I hope so! The only way to get through the gate is to go into each of the new "Simpsons" games being developed by the creator!

8-Bit Bart: Once you're inside each game, you need to find a key card! Only the four key cards will combine to open the gate!

Bart: Key Cards?! That is the lamest video game BS I've ever heard. Why aren't we doing something cool - like collecting multi-colored "shard keys"! That would be totally different and awesome!

8-Bit Bart: Cowabunga!

Marge: Well, let's get to it, video gang! Let's go give this "creator" a piece of our minds!

Lisa: And save Springfield!