Treehouse of Horror XXX/Quotes
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"Treehouse of Horror XXX"
- Dr. Hibbert: Her mother died in childbirth. The, uh, father is listed as 10,000 lunatics, but, uh, none of them has shown up yet.
- Homer: Sold.
- Dr. Hibbert: I should warn you, however. We ran the standard newborn screen on her, and, uh, she tested positive... for evil.
- Ned Flanders: Oh, I must stop this spawn of Satan. But can I really find it in my heart to kill a child?
- [Maggie changes Rod and Todd]
- Rod Flanders: I like Morrissey.
- Todd Flanders: Reality bites.
- Ned: Looks like I'll be digging three graves.
- Chief Wiggum: Your friend's bike crashed here. We found his inhaler here. And over here is his final pee stain.
- Bart: He did drink a lot of New Cokes last night.
- Chief Wiggum: Look, what the hell year is this anyway? I'm really getting confused.
- Lisa: I'd better use my psychic powers.
- Milhouse: I didn't know you had psychic powers.
- Lisa: Girls are afraid to use them, because then we're called unfeminine. We needlessly lost a lot of good witches at Salem.
- Homer: Mr. Burns opened a portal to another dimension that released a lot of monsters.
- Milhouse: What was he looking for?
- Homer: It's all part of a secret government program to find monsters.
- St. Greeter: Homer Simpson, welcome to Heaven.
- Homer: Are you St. Peter?
- St. Greeter: No, I'm St. Greeter, if you'll forgive the pun.
- Homer: I don't forgive it.
- [St. Greeter falls through a fiery hole]
- St. Greeter: Damn you...!
- Marge: Hello?
- Homer: [in a football player's body] Hello, Marge.
- Marge: How do you know my name?
- Homer: Now, don't freak out, but it's me, your husband Homer.I died, and I'm inside the body of this football player.
- Marge: How could I possibly believe that?
- Homer: Because I know something about you that no one else knows.
- Marge: What's that?
- Homer: I forget.
- Marge: [gasps] It's you!
- Homer: [in Superintendent Chalmers' body and voice] Skinner! Because of new school rules, from now on, Bart gets all A's. [Bart whispers to Homer]
- Homer: [in Chalmers' body] Give yourself a purple nurple. Purpler. Purpler.
- Principal Skinner: This is pure indigo.
- Bart: He said, "Purpler."
- Skinner: Yes, sir.
- Kang: I am Kang the Conqueror.
- Selma: I am Selma the available.
- Mr. Burns: Hold it right there, Simpson. What are you up to?
- Homer: Um, I am, uh, you know, uh, cover story, stalling for time, cover story, hemming, hawing, excuse, alibi. Promotion?
- Kang: My partner Kodos will meet us at the top of Mount Springfield.
- Selma: Partner?
- Kang: Writing partner. They told us, if you want to make it in showbiz, you have to be on Earth.
- Patty: I have to warn you-- I'm gay.
- Kodos: That's all right. I have 32 sexual identities. I'm Klingon curious, always up for some Wookiee nookie or an R2 threesome, not to mention some Deep Space Nine, or possibly Jabba the Butt.