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Treehouse of Horror XXX/Quotes

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Season 31 Episode Quotes
665 "The Fat Blue Line"
666
"Treehouse of Horror XXX"
"Gorillas on the Mast" 667


Dr. Hibbert: Her mother died in childbirth. The, uh, father is listed as 10,000 lunatics, but, uh, none of them has shown up yet.
Homer: Sold.
Dr. Hibbert: I should warn you, however. We ran the standard newborn screen on her, and, uh, she tested positive... for evil.

Ned Flanders: Oh, I must stop this spawn of Satan. But can I really find it in my heart to kill a child?
[Maggie changes Rod and Todd]
Rod Flanders: I like Morrissey.
Todd Flanders: Reality bites.
Ned: Looks like I'll be digging three graves.

Chief Wiggum: Your friend's bike crashed here. We found his inhaler here. And over here is his final pee stain.
Bart: He did drink a lot of New Cokes last night.
Chief Wiggum: Look, what the hell year is this anyway? I'm really getting confused.

Lisa: I'd better use my psychic powers.
Milhouse: I didn't know you had psychic powers.
Lisa: Girls are afraid to use them, because then we're called unfeminine. We needlessly lost a lot of good witches at Salem.

Homer: Mr. Burns opened a portal to another dimension that released a lot of monsters.
Milhouse: What was he looking for?
Homer: It's all part of a secret government program to find monsters.

St. Greeter: Homer Simpson, welcome to Heaven.
Homer: Are you St. Peter?
St. Greeter: No, I'm St. Greeter, if you'll forgive the pun.
Homer: I don't forgive it.
[St. Greeter falls through a fiery hole]
St. Greeter: Damn you...!

Marge: Hello?
Homer: [in a football player's body] Hello, Marge.
Marge: How do you know my name?
Homer: Now, don't freak out, but it's me, your husband Homer.I died, and I'm inside the body of this football player.
Marge: How could I possibly believe that?
Homer: Because I know something about you that no one else knows.
Marge: What's that?
Homer: I forget.
Marge: [gasps] It's you!

Homer: [in Superintendent Chalmers' body and voice] Skinner! Because of new school rules, from now on, Bart gets all A's. [Bart whispers to Homer]
Homer: [in Chalmers' body] Give yourself a purple nurple. Purpler. Purpler.
Principal Skinner: This is pure indigo.
Bart: He said, "Purpler."
Skinner: Yes, sir.

Kang: I am Kang the Conqueror.
Selma: I am Selma the available.

Mr. Burns: Hold it right there, Simpson. What are you up to?
Homer: Um, I am, uh, you know, uh, cover story, stalling for time, cover story, hemming, hawing, excuse, alibi. Promotion?

Kang: My partner Kodos will meet us at the top of Mount Springfield.
Selma: Partner?
Kang: Writing partner. They told us, if you want to make it in showbiz, you have to be on Earth.

Patty: I have to warn you-- I'm gay.
Kodos: That's all right. I have 32 sexual identities. I'm Klingon curious, always up for some Wookiee nookie or an R2 threesome, not to mention some Deep Space Nine, or possibly Jabba the Butt.
Season 31 Quotes
The Winter of Our Monetized Content Go Big or Go Homer The Fat Blue Line Treehouse of Horror XXX Gorillas on the Mast Marge the Lumberjill Livin La Pura Vida Thanksgiving of Horror Todd, Todd, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me? Bobby, It's Cold Outside Hail to the Teeth The Miseducation of Lisa Simpson Frinkcoin Bart the Bad Guy Screenless Better Off Ned Highway to Well The Incredible Lightness of Being a Baby Warrin' Priests: Part One Warrin' Priests: Part Two The Hateful Eight-Year-Olds The Way of the Dog