The Way of the Dog/Quotes
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- Marge: Ooh, look! An old Santa hat. You know who would love to wear this?
- Bart: No one.
- Marge: The dog!
- Homer: Oh, not tomorrow. Tomorrow's UFC fight 243.
- Marge: Why do you care so much about one stupid fight?
- Bart: 'Cause he paid 60 bucks to watch it.
- Marge: 60 bucks to watch a fight?
- Homer: Actually, 70. I got it in HD.
- Marge: We don't even have an HDTV.
- Homer: I wanted the pay-per-view operator to think I was a big shot.
- Elaine Wolff: The more I spend time with dogs, the more I realize that I entirely prefer them to people.
- [everyone laughs]
- Elaine Wolff: No, no, I'm serious. I really despise you.
- Lisa: Could you teach us to do what you do? To see the world through his eyes?
- Elaine Wolff: Oh, not through his eyes. That's the point. A dog's dominant sense is smell. He sees the world with his nose, and his nose sees so much more than our eyes. For instance, we see a lamppost. Your dog sees everyone who's ever been here.
- Homer: Bad dog! Very bad dog! Crap dog!
- Bart: Well, if he's staying outside, I'm staying outside.
- Homer: You are not staying outside! You are not the boss here!
- Mr. Burns: Well, I am, and he paid me to tell you what to do. This boy is sleeping outside.
- Homer: Yes, sir.
- Chief Wiggum: Well, I am not leaving here empty-handed. Make me a sandwich.
- Marge: No.
- Chief Wiggum: Okay, all right. Being a police chief really sucks.
- Clayton: Darling, I've done something impulsive. You know how Mother always wanted you to wear her ring, but she died at a time when we had no hope. And in my heartache, I let them bury her with it. So I dug her up and, uh, will you marry me? I know "exhumed" isn't usually the most romantic word, but...
- Les Moore: Yeah, I remember this mutt. Uh, Santa's Little Helper. Yeah! Hey, what'd you rename him?
- Bart: We didn't.
- Les Moore: Boy, are you lazy.
- Les Moore: Ow! Okay, I get it. Boy, suddenly, the guy who tortures dogs is the bad guy.
