Marge the Lumberjill/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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668
"Marge the Lumberjill"
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- Homer: Wait. So this is a play based on a YouTube of kids playing a video game?
- Marge: That's right.
- Homer: It's about time.
- Marge: Wake up. Lisa's next.
- Homer: Oh, no, please. I'm having the best dream. I was in my warm, cozy grave.
- Bart: Well, I'm gonna dream about me in a soft, cuddly crypt.
- Marge: I'm going to bed.
- Bart: That will really turn around your boring reputation.
- Paula: Timbersports is more than a hobby. It's an unpaid passion that you do in your spare time.
- Anger Watkins: Timbersports. Timber sports? I snap one P.A.'s bra strap, and this is where I land? Who is the LeBron of this thing? No one will tell me.
- Chip Bunyan: His name is Matt Cogar.
- Anger Watkins: Is his nickname The Cougar?
- Chip Bunyan: No, his nickname is Matt.
- Anger Watkins: Matt isn't a nickname. It's a name name. I'd storm out of here right now if I weren't so terrified of squirrels.
- Lisa: I'm glad Mom's found a passion, but I wish she didn't have to kill all those trees.
- Bart: I read that trees are the cause of global warming.
- Lisa: Where'd you read that?
- Bart: My new fourth grade science book.
- Anger Watkins: Oh! Marge Simpson takes the lead! No one saw this coming, because no one was watching. What could possibly be her motivation?
- Marge: I'm not boring!
- Patty: Now's the time I should tell you. Paula is gay.
- Homer: Aw. She made a friend.
- Marge: [to Paula] You've made me a new woman.
- Homer: Oh. Should I be concerned?
- Barney Gumble: It's no weirder than that time our knees touched under the bar.
- Homer: You still think about that?
- Barney: Every day.
- Homer: Where you going? She might leave and never come back. Just like the McRib. [sobs uncontrollably]
- Homer: You're married in the two most important ways there are: emotionally and cooking.
- Homer: Oh, I'm sitting in a bar and my wife's in love with a female lumberjack.
- Bar patron: Classic Portland. Where are you from?
- Homer: Springfield.
- Bar patron: Which one? Oregon?
- Homer: I don't know.
- Homer: Your daddy loves you, sweetie. He wants to make sure you're always a strong, confident little lady. So I went out and got you this.
- [Homer hands Maggie a toy chainsaw. Maggie turns it on but the noise scares her, causing her to pull her head into her onesie.]
- Grampa: Aw, her baby head fell out. You'll be getting a visit from the Head Fairy.
