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Springfield Up/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Season 18 Episode Quotes
390 "Little Big Girl"
"Springfield Up"
"Yokel Chords" 392

Declan Desmond: Oh, hello! Thirty-two years ago I interviewed a group of Springfield school-children. These children ran the gamut of society: rich and poor, black and white, "he'll grow into his looks" and "forever hideous."
11-Year-Old-Moe: My Dad was a circus freak but my Mom don't remember which one. I like to think it was a little bit of all of them.
Declan: Every eight years I revisited those children, creating a cinematic chronicle of their lives. Join me, won't you, to see dreams dissolve like a muffin in the rain, in: Growing Up Springfield!

Declan: So, Lenny, what have we here?
8-Year-Old Lenny: My daddy said I can have any birthday party I want. My cake will be a picture of a dinosaur and all the guests will say, "Why, Lenny, that's a fine cake!" Then, "yes," I'll say.
Declan: I decided not to waste anymore film on him after that.

8-Year-Old Carl: I wish for world peace.
8-Year-Old Barney: I wish for world war.
8-Year-Old Carl: Oh yeah, that would be cooler.
8-Year-Old Homer: I wish when I grow up, I'll be richer than everybody!
[the other children laugh at Homer]
8-Year-Old Homer: I will! I will be rich! I'll own a football team and a basketball team and I'll make them play baseball!

Chief Wiggum: And here we are in now-times. As you can see, I have gotten everything I've ever wanted.
Lou: Except pants that fit.
Chief Wiggum: I told you that if I let you into this movie, you couldn't make fun of me.
Lou: I'm not makin' fun of you. I'm makin' fun of your pants.
Chief Wiggum: How'd you like it if I made fun of your pants?
Lou: Go ahead.
Chief Wiggum: They're a little, uh... they're-they're, they-aw, they're perfect.

8-Year-Old Homer: When I grow up, I'll have a giant mansion, my own pinball machine with infinity quarters, eight pairs of peanut butter and jelly pajamas. How many wishes do I have left?
Declan: None. You never had any. I'm not a genie.
8-Year-Old Homer: D'oh!

Declan: Don't look at me, look at the camera.
8-Year-Old Homer: Got it.
Declan: I said, look at the camera.
8-Year-Old Homer: No problem.
Declan: Now you're looking at a mud puddle. That's your hand. That's the production accountant. That's your other hand. Do you even know what a camera is?
8-Year-Old Homer: Why, of cour-- No.

Declan: Homer had found a peanut of hope in his Cracker Jack box of despair...

Declan: I can't believe it. Homer Simpson... a bloody millionaire!
Homer: Why do you sound so shocked? This is our fifth take.

[Bart and Lisa ride in on dolphins]
Bart: Mine has a cup holder!
Lisa: Bart, that's a blowhole!
Bart: You're a blowhole!
[the dolphin starts to sink]
Bart: No, boy! Up, up, up!

Declan: Well Marge, you must be proud of your "Homie".
Marge: Oh yes. I'm so proud, I feel my chest might burst. Can you edit that? I don't wanna say "chest" in a movie.
Declan: You said it and it stays!

Homer: You see Declan, I made my millions with a simple invention -- the Condiment Pen! Just click the buttons at the top and you can choose from ketchup, mustard, mayo, and relish. [whispers loudly] I got the idea from the regular pen.
Declan: Can I use it on fish and chips?
Homer: I don't know. You can put horseradish on your dead mother for all I care.

Professor Frink: I give you the Chrono Trike! Now I'll go back in time to tell myself to choose a different career. One where I'll meet a female woman of the girl-u-lar variety.

Declan: This overnight affluence must have come as a tremendous shock.
Marge: Oh, yes sir... as shocks go, this one's a real zaparoo.

Mr. Burns: What are you people doing in my Summer home?
Homer: Uh, this is Eduardo, my pool boy. He thinks he's an angry rich man.
Mr. Burns: I am an angry rich man!
Homer: [loudly whispering] That's the pool chemicals talking.

Marge: Mr. Burns, we're so sorry. The plan was just to use your back yard, and the next thing we know, Mr. Smithers is tied up in a grandfather clock.

Declan: Lenny... always exciting to hear from you. Did you ever try that new shampoo?
Lenny: Nope, never did. [uncomfortable silence] Wanna watch me pay my cable bill? I got checks with butterflies on 'em. [Lenny walks off] I am interesting.

Declan: But what you said about Homer it's... it's given me a brilliant idea!
Moe: An action movie where I play the Pope who kills the President?
Declan: No, that's a terrible idea.
Moe: Yeah, I know, it is stupid. I think it could work, though. I even got a title: Pontiff No Return. I came up with it, but I don't really get it.

Declan: I have some footage to show you.
Homer: Oh, spirit. Are you gonna show me my future? My snow-flecked grave, mourned by no man? Well, it's not too late for me to change! [runs to the window] You there, boy! Buy me a Christmas goose! The biggest one in the shop!
Squeaky-voiced teen: And then what?

Moe: Have you been to Homer's house?! It's got a back yard, a front yard... the place is like yard city!

Krusty the Clown: Homer gave me a kidney. It wasn't his, I didn't need it, and it came postage due, but still a lovely gesture.

Homer: All those years I was dreaming of other things, I was actually doing what I really wanted... hanging out with my family, drinking with my friends, making friends with my family, and hanging with my drinking!
Marge: Marge, you're my real dream come true. And I get to live you every day.
Season 18 Quotes
The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer Jazzy and the Pussycats Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em Treehouse of Horror XVII G.I. (Annoyed Grunt) Moe'N'a Lisa Ice Cream of Margie (with the Light Blue Hair) The Haw-Hawed Couple Kill Gil, Volumes I & II The Wife Aquatic Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Three Times Little Big Girl Springfield Up Yokel Chords Rome-Old and Juli-Eh Homerazzi Marge Gamer The Boys of Bummer Crook and Ladder Stop or My Dog Will Shoot! 24 Minutes You Kent Always Say What You Want