Kill Gil, Volumes I & II/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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"Kill Gil, Volumes I & II"
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- Patty Bouvier: Elvis Stojko is so handsome!
- Selma Bouvier: He can lace up my skates any time.
- Moe Szyslak: Don't you hags know that all male figure skaters are "twinkly in the lutz"?
- Elvis Stojko: That's a common misconception! I have a girlfriend in Vancouver!
- Moe: Made-up girlfriend, made-up city!
- The Grumple: Grumply, grumply groo, I'll throw my net over you!
- Marge: Come on, Homer, let's get the kids out of here. Homer?
- Homer: [fighting The Grumple] Give back that Holiday Cheer, you bastard!
- The Grumple: Never!
- Gil Gunderson: Well, what can Ol' Santa bring you for Christmas, son?
- Kearney Zzyzwicz: I want a dirt bike, one of those video game chairs that vibrate...
- Kearney Zzyzwicz, Jr.: Dad, he's not the real Santa. We can't afford that stuff.
- Kearney: Shut up, shut up, shut up!
- Gil: Sir, I'm glad I have this chance to talk to you. I've been on the payroll here since May, and I'd really like to start working in Ladies Shoes -- not literally of course, I couldn't walk very fast, though I'd learn if that's what it takes...
- Marge: You can't go home tonight! It's cold, it's late...
- Grampa: Yeah! Maybe I should spend the night here, too.
- Homer: You're getting a cab, old man. In fact, I believe I see it now.
- Grampa: But I haven't given you a present.
- Homer: Your present is leaving.
- The Grumple: Grumply, grumply groo, your blood will make my stew!
- Homer: Why did you let that loser into our home?
- Marge: I'll tell you why: Christian charity.
- Homer: Christian Charity? What does a porn star have to do with this?
- Marge: And that's why I have trouble saying "no" to people -- even Gil!
- Homer: Marge, I have no idea what you were just thinking about. Why would you think I did?
- Bart: Gil's gone.
- Lisa: Back to Scottsdale.
- Bart: Problem solved.
- Lisa: End of story.
- Bart: Can we have pancakes for dinner?
- Assistant: Here's a box for your stuff.
- Gil: I can't live in this!
