Warrin' Priests: Part Two/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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"Warrin' Priests: Part Two"
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- Fat Tony: This is the first time I've come to church when it's not part of a big montage of my enemies being whacked.
- Louie: Whoa! Hey! Whoa!
- Julio: Way to preach, bitch.
- Ned Flanders: I'm gonna pretend I heard "amen".
- Julio: Oh, relax, bitch.
- Dr. Nick: They don't teach you that at medical school.
- Dr. Hibbert: Yes, they do.
- Dr. Nick: Well, I learn from my mistakes. Malpractice makes malperfect.
- Ned: This church has gone from a place of warm, awkward silence into a gooey lovefest run by a narcissistic kum-bah-yo-yo, and I will not stand for it.
- Bode Wright: You and I believe in the same God. I just believe that that God loves everyone. You don't agree with that, Ned?
- Ned: Sir, we are not on a first-name basis.
- Bode Wright: Mr. Flanders.
- Ned: You may call me New Evangelical Deacon, or Ned for short.
- Todd Flanders: Daddy, we can't leave before the pastor says so.
- Ned: Who told you that?
- Rod Flanders: You did.
- Todd: You call it "Homer Simpson-ing".
- Ned: [groans]
- Homer: Yeah, don't Homer Simpson, you jerk.
- Preacher Mac: I would go on, but I am down to my last vocal cord. Even for a pastor, I've taken way too long to make a simple point.
- Helen Lovejoy: Timothy, I've never seen you like this. Maybe I'll do some defrocking, too.
- Reverend Lovejoy: In the choo choo room?
- Helen: Okay, mood's gone.
- Luann Van Houten: I know this is a weird thing to say in church, but we need proof.
- Kent Brockman: The crisis of faith grows as support for im-preach-ment is now at 52%. Can you fight fire with firing? What should we do with this Judas priest? This has been Kent Brockman talking, saying nothing.
- Moe Szyslak: We've mobbed for less, people.
- Lenny Leonard: Yeah, remember the guy with the two different-colored socks?
- Carl Carlson: Ran his ass right out of town.
- Lenny: Banish him!
- Bode Wright: Dear God, please let the Simpsons never end.
- Everyone: Amen!
- Lisa: Why would you burn a Bible? Why couldn't you burn Bill O'Reilly's books? There are so many.
- Chief Wiggum: Just when I understood that guy, when I believed again, when I believed in people, they took him away. I've lost my faith, Lou.
- Lou: Come on, Chief, you got a beautiful wife [begins laughing] and kid... I can't... I'm sorry, I can't say that with a straight face.
- Chief Wiggum: Well, you could try.
- Lou: [still laughing] I am. I-I'm trying, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll maybe try again. You got a beau... [laughs some more] ...tiful wife and kid.
